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Tuesday, February 28, 2023



With the hot summer weather  around the corner, surely we are all looking forward to juicy BBQ dinners.
If your grill has gone on the fritz, here is a low cost replacement option for you, available at the following retailers for just one quarter: Safeway, COOP, Superstore, Wal-Mart and many others.
See picture attached, models may vary slightly depending on retailer.

Happy summer grilling. . .
The BBQ Man

Cart used as a BBQ grill

The Seven Dwarfs


Seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are THE seven dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope.
Dopey Leads the pack.

"Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"

Dopey asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns back "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?"

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them, with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back and says, "Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"

"I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting! ......

"Dopey screwed a penguin!"......
"Dopey screwed a penguin!"......

Jack Schitt


Click here

NOTE: Not dirty, per se, but...It is a flash movie. Turn down volume in office, Children situations.

Click above

Monday, February 27, 2023

Ubuntu MATE (Linux desktop)

The Wizard's Ubuntu MATE desktop
Click on the image for a larger one

Ubuntu MATE is a Linux distribution based on the popular Ubuntu operating system. It is designed to be lightweight and user-friendly, with a traditional desktop interface that is reminiscent of older versions of Windows or Mac OS.

One of the defining features of Ubuntu MATE is the MATE desktop environment, which is known for its simplicity and ease of use. MATE is a fork of the older GNOME 2 desktop environment, which was known for its classic interface and customizable features. The MATE desktop is designed to be intuitive and efficient, with a taskbar, application launcher, and customizable menus and panels.

Ubuntu MATE also includes a wide range of pre-installed software, including web browsers, office suites, media players, and development tools. It is designed to be compatible with a wide range of hardware, including older or less powerful computers, and it supports a variety of languages and input methods.

Ubuntu MATE is maintained by a community of volunteers, and it is available as a free download from the Ubuntu MATE website. It is a popular choice for users who prefer a traditional desktop environment and value stability and ease of use.

There are many reasons why people might consider switching from Windows to Linux:

    Cost: Linux is free and open-source, meaning you can download, install, and use it without paying for a license. This can be a significant cost savings over the long term, especially if you have multiple computers or run a business.

    Security: Linux is known for being more secure than Windows, as it is less susceptible to viruses, malware, and other security threats. This is due in part to the open-source nature of Linux, which allows for more rapid identification and patching of security vulnerabilities.

    Privacy: Linux is designed to be more privacy-friendly than Windows, as it collects less data on users and is generally less invasive in terms of data collection and telemetry.

    Customization: Linux is highly customizable, meaning you can tailor it to your specific needs and preferences. This includes the ability to choose from a variety of desktop environments, change the look and feel of your system, and install custom software and applications.

    Compatibility: While Linux was once known for having limited software compatibility, many popular applications and games are now available for Linux, and compatibility with Windows software has improved thanks to tools such as Wine.

Overall, whether or not someone should switch to Linux from Windows depends on their individual needs and preferences. While Linux may not be the best fit for everyone, it can be a viable alternative for those who value cost savings, security, privacy, customization, and compatibility with a growing number of applications and games.

Tux - The Linux mascot

More fun with chatGPG

I typed: tell me a tale of beauty and the beast as Donald Trump would say it. This is the result:


Once upon a time, there was a tremendous beast, let me tell you, it was the biggest, the most tremendous beast you have ever seen. This beast lived in a magnificent castle, a really luxurious castle, the best castle you have ever seen, believe me.

Now, this beast was cursed, can you believe it? Cursed, folks. And the curse could only be lifted if someone could love the beast for who he was, not what he looked like. But who could love a beast, right? Well, let me tell you, there was a beautiful girl, just beautiful, the most beautiful girl you have ever seen, she was really something, folks.

So, this girl, she ends up in the beast's castle, can you believe it? And at first, she was afraid of the beast, I mean, who wouldn't be, right? But as time passed, she got to know the beast, and you know what? She started to see the beauty inside the beast. That's right, folks, the beauty inside.

And you know what happened next? The beast was transformed, just like that, it was a really tremendous transformation, believe me. And the girl and the beast, they lived happily ever after, really happy, folks, it was fantastic.

So, that's the story of Beauty and the Beast, it's a tremendous story, really tremendous. And let me tell you, nobody tells stories like me, nobody.

TV Kills Everything


TV Kills Everything

Click above for a larger picture

Sunday, February 26, 2023

A story by chatGPT AI

I asked chatGPG to create a story about the adventures of a boy and here is the result:

Once upon a time, there was a young boy named Alex who lived in a small village in the mountains. Alex was an adventurous boy, always curious about the world beyond his village. He spent his days exploring the nearby forests, climbing trees, and catching frogs in the stream.

One day, while wandering in the woods, Alex stumbled upon an old map hidden inside a hollow tree. The map showed the location of a mysterious island, filled with treasure and guarded by a fierce dragon.

Determined to find the island and claim the treasure, Alex set out on his journey. He packed his backpack with provisions, grabbed a sturdy walking stick, and began his adventure.

Alex traveled through thick forests, crossed raging rivers, and climbed steep mountains. Along the way, he met many interesting people, including friendly farmers, wise hermits, and even a mischievous talking bird.

Despite many obstacles and setbacks, Alex never gave up. He used his wits and courage to overcome every challenge that came his way. Finally, after many months of travel, Alex arrived at the shores of the island.

There, he faced the dragon, a fierce beast with flaming eyes and razor-sharp claws. But Alex was not afraid. He remembered the wise words of the hermit he had met on his journey: "To defeat a dragon, you must not fight it with weapons, but with kindness and compassion."

So, Alex approached the dragon with a kind heart and offered it some food and water. The dragon, surprised by Alex's kindness, accepted his offer and became his friend.

Together, Alex and the dragon explored the island, found the treasure, and returned to the village as heroes. From that day on, Alex was known as the bravest adventurer in the land, and his story inspired many other children to follow in his footsteps and embark on their own adventures.

Fascinating, isn't it? Fun too! Click here to goto chatGPG

A Story about a wizard, created by chatGPT - Amazing!

I asked chatGPT to tell me a story about a wizard. Here is the story the AI wrote:

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a powerful wizard named Zephyr. He was known throughout the kingdom for his magical abilities and wisdom, and people from all over sought his help for their problems.

One day, a young farmer named Jack came to Zephyr seeking his help. Jack's crops had been failing for months, and he was on the brink of bankruptcy. Zephyr listened to Jack's plight and promised to help him.

Zephyr performed a series of spells and incantations, and within a few days, Jack's crops began to thrive. Jack was overjoyed and offered to pay Zephyr for his services, but the wizard refused, saying that he did not use his powers for personal gain.

However, not everyone was happy with Zephyr's abilities. The king of the land, who had always been envious of Zephyr's power, saw the wizard's popularity as a threat to his own rule. The king hatched a plan to discredit Zephyr and turn the people against him.

The king sent his guards to arrest Zephyr on trumped-up charges of treason and witchcraft. Zephyr knew that he was innocent but realized that he had to flee the kingdom to save his life.

Zephyr went into hiding, living as a hermit in a nearby forest. He continued to use his powers to help those in need, but he did so in secret, knowing that the king's spies were always watching.

Years passed, and Zephyr grew old and tired. One day, he received a message from a group of rebels who had been fighting against the king's tyranny. They told Zephyr that they needed his help to defeat the king's army and restore justice to the land.

Zephyr agreed to help the rebels and used his powers to aid them in battle. The rebels were victorious, and the king was overthrown.

With the kingdom at peace once more, Zephyr emerged from his hiding place and was hailed as a hero. The people who had once feared him now saw him as a savior, and they honored him for his bravery and selflessness.

And so, Zephyr lived out the rest of his days as a revered figure in the kingdom, using his powers to help those in need and fighting against injustice wherever he found it.

Try chatGPT here.

Where have you been?


1 hr Poo

Saturday, February 25, 2023

R.I.P. Gordon Pinsent (1920 - 2023)


Gordon Pinsent

Canadian acting icon Gordon Pinsent has died, his family said in a statement. He was 92.

"Gordon Pinsent's daughters Leah, and Beverly, and his son Barry, would like to announce the passing of their father peacefully in sleep today with his family at his side," said a note released late Saturday, written on behalf of Gordon's family by his son-in-law, the actor Peter Keleghan.

"Gordon passionately loved this country and its people, purpose, and culture to his last breath."

I Gotta Be Me


I gotta be me

Why do people really bash Windows?

Old picture of Bill Gates holding BSOD

It's a hot topic in my opinion so let me recap. Comment away.

Why does everyone "bash" Windows? I could sit here and bash linux, windows, macOS and anything else, but that is just pointless and pedantic.

The point is every operating system has it uses. You just need to choose what best suits your needs.

Anyone who claims to hate Microsoft Windows, Linux, Mac OS or any other operating system is not a true techie or network guru. You don't ever bash the OS, in fact if the OS crashes then it's your fault not the OS; Why didn't you make sure that it was using the right drivers, or the hardware is compatible or blah this and blah that, and so the list goes.

Any OS crashes for a reason, not because it just feels like it. Compatability is there for a very good reason, why support something that is old when you need to keep moving forward. Example, all leaded gas car owners here in Canada can no longer purchase leaded gas, they are forced now to use unleaded and an additive.


Because those cars are so old and they are few and far between now because unleaded cars are cheap enough to buy second hand as your first car.

Get my point there?


"Now if everyone will look out the starboard windows...."

Costa Concordia leaning


Friday, February 24, 2023

Beauty is in the eyes....


Saphire eyes

The short bus

The Magic Bus

One Monday morning, Grover was picking up the kids along a new bus route.
At the first stop, he picked up a fat little girl. Grover asked, "What's your name?" "Patty" she replied. She had a seat in the back of the bus.
On the next stop there was a handicapped boy named Ross. All the kids called him "Special Ross."
Then a young man named Lester Cheese loaded onto the bus, sat down, took off his shoes and began picking at his bunions.
Finally the last stop came up, and another chubby little girl got on. Grover had never met her, so he asked her her name and her name was also Patty.
On the way to school, Grover looked in his mirror and began to laugh, he was thinking...
"Dang, I have two obese Patty's, Special Ross, Lester Cheese picking bunions, on a Sesame Street bus!"


This will help the ranchers in Canada too, new uses for the cows.....DUE TO GAS PRICE INCREASES



Thursday, February 23, 2023

As Kidz See It

ya think they unnerstand . . . 'till ya ax 'em some questions on it.  I love kids versions.  
Children's Bible Gaffs

The following statements about the bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.)

In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.

He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

When the three 'wise guys' from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to other before they do one to you.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Not sure what to title this one.

Crossing the River

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging violent river.

Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me the strength to cross the river."

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river."

Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross this river."

Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.




This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.


If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.


This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"


This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.


This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"


This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!

And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh!

Oh, and before we forget ...


...it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!


Ask The Wizard (Huey, Duey and Louie) - A Unique Question.

The Wunnerfull Wizard of 'OZ' Dear Wizard of 'OZ',

Who are Huey, Dewey and Louie's parents? Do they appear in any of the cartoons?


Sarina T, Montreal, Canada

Dear Sarina,

The Wizard is used to technical questions, but I like to do research...

According to the cartoon "Donald's Nephews," Donald receives a postcard from his sister Dumbella saying she is sending the three for a visit. That is the only time we ever hear of Dumbella, and a father's name was never mentioned.

Huey, Dewie and Louie

Huey, Duey and Louie

Hope this helps.


--The Wizard

Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Engineers Create Self-Operated Butt-Kicking Machine


The Butt-Kicking Machine
The Butt-Kicking Machine

Backside Booter Designed To Motivate - or maybe fulfill someone's desires of masochism?

The engineers at Leavitt and Associates in Idaho have developed an interesting new device designed to motivate employees. " It's called the World Famous Manually Self-Operated Butt-Kicking Machine," said creator J. Reese Leavitt. "It is for your butt-kicking enjoyment."

Leavitt says the Butt-Kicking Machine came out of a brainstorming meeting when he and his co-workers were talking about raising employee productivity. He says this was a fun invention to work on.

"Well, we don't always get to do projects as exciting and fun as this project," said Leavitt.
The Butt-Kicking Machine
The Butt-Kicking Machine

The engineers even came up with an operating manual that breaks down the backside booting. You just have to sit firmly on your fanny, fasten the seat belt and apply the appropriate pressure.

A size 9 Chuck Taylor will hit your hindquarters. "That, by the way, is the most expensive part of the machine," said Leavitt. "The shoe cost us about $40."

The total cost is $250, but becoming the butt of jokes or the posterior of pranks is priceless.

"We think we're simple-minded engineers," said Leavitt. "There's a simple solution for every problem and we always seek to find that simple solution."
The Butt-Kicking Machine
The Butt-Kicking Machine

Leavitt says he has researched a patent on the Butt-Kicking Machine and has found no matches.
The Butt-Kicking Machine

Leavitt and his associates plan on renting out the machine for fundraisers.

Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, bad bad bad

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in the cafe chatting over a pint of goat's milk.

The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.

"This is my oldest son Mohammed. He's 24 years old now" "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully. "He's a martyr now though" mum confides.

"Oh so sad dear." says the other.

"And this is my second son Kalid. He's 21."

"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born."

"He's a martyr too," says mum quietly.

"Oh gracious me." says the other.

"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He's 18," she whispers.

"Yes," says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school."

"He's a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the
photographs and says...

"They blow up so fast, don't they?"

In Honor of Stupid People . . .

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(..and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send the 'Permanant Link' to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)...

****Blessed are the cracked: For it is they who let in the light****

Tuesday, February 21, 2023

3 Jokes

As an older man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,  "Harold, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on route 290. Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Harold, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them !!!"


Two old friends meet passing on the street one day.  But one looked forlorn, and almost on the verge of tears. His friend asked, "What has the world done to you, my old friend?"

The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me forty thousand dollars."

"That's not bad."

"But you see, two weeks ago, a cousin I never even knew kicked the bucket, and left me eighty-five thousand free and clear."

"Sounds like you should be grateful..."

"You don't understand!" he interrupted.  "Last week my great-aunt passed away. I inherited almost a quarter of a million."

Now he was really confused.  "Then, how come you look so glum?"

"This week... nothing!"


A little boy and a little girl, both about six years  old, were playing  in the sandbox. Unexpectedly, the little boy farts, causing a little sand  between his  legs to shift. The little girl notices and squeals with laughter.

"How'd you  do that," she asked

"Easy," he  exclaimed, "I just farted."

"Can I try  it," she asks?

"Sure," he  says, "anybody can do it."

She  concentrates as she strains and grunts. Suddenly, there's a huge explosion,
the sides of the  sandbox fly off, all the sand flies out, and the little boy is thrown 10 feet, landing up against a tree.

He groggily  gets to his feet, runs back to where the little girl is. He finds her laying on the  ground, out cold, flat on her back, spread eagle. Curiously, he lifts up her dress, peeks underneath, and loudly exclaims:

"Just what  I thought, dual exhaust..."

Sage Advice


Sage advice



Frog found frozen in ice cream

Sunday, February 19, 2023

Beware The ATM....

Click Here

Click above - This will open a window and you will have to allow the powerpoint to open (Or you can save it...) Then navigate either using your scroll wheel on your mouse or you can use your scrollbars if you do not have a wheel mouse...


R.I.P. Richard Belzer (1944 - 2023)

Richard Belzer

Richard Belzer, the stand-up comedian, dramatic actor, and ubiquitous television presence, died on Sunday according to The Hollywood Reporter. “He had lots of health issues, and his last words were, ‘Fuck you, motherfucker,'” writer Bill Scheft, a longtime friend, told the outlet. 

The Connecticut-born talent began his career in New York City comedy clubs and was a presence in the outer orbit of Saturday Night Live in the mid-1970s. In 1993 his career took an unexpected turn toward drama when he played Detective John Munch on Homicide: Life on the Streets. After seven seasons, the character moved from Baltimore to New York City, and Belzer appeared in the same role for 15 seasons (with occasional guest shots thereafter) on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. He was 78 years old.

80 Year Old Man..

At 80 years old, George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results.
Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with God?"
George replied, "Yeah, God and me are tight. He knows that I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on, when I'm done (poof!) the light goes off."
"Wow!" commented Dr. Smith, "That's incredible!"
A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Ethel," he said, "George is doing fine. Physically he's great. But,I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then when he is through (poof!) the light goes off?"
Ethel exclaimed, "Oh, my God, he's peeing in the refrigerator again!"

A Poem

  Around the corner I have a friend,
  In this great city that has no end,
  Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
  And before I know it, a year is gone.

  And I never see my old friend's face,
  For life is a swift and terrible race,
 He knows I like him just as well,
  As in the days when I rang his bell.

 And he rang mine but we were younger then,
  And now we are busy, tired men.
  Tired of playing a foolish game,
  Tired of trying to make a name.

  "Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
  Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
  But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
  And distance between us grows and grows.

  Around the corner, yet miles away,
  "Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."
  And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
  Around the corner, a vanished friend.

  Remember to always say what you mean.
  If you love someone, tell them.
  Don't be afraid to express yourself.
  Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you
Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late.
Seize the day.
Never have regrets.
And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family,
for they have helped make you the person that you are today.

Friday, February 17, 2023

Happy Birthday Mom (R.I.P.)


My Mom, RIP

The Kiss

 Dog kisses fireman

This photograph shows a red Doberman licking an exhausted fireman.

He had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight the fire. She is pregnant.

The fireman was afraid of her at first, because he had never been around a Doberman before.

When he finally got done putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest.

A photographer from the Newspaper “The Observer”, noticed this red Doberman in the distance looking at the fireman. He saw her walking straight toward the fireman and wondered what she was going to do.

As he raised his camera, she came up to the tired man who had saved her life and the lives of her babies, and kissed him, just as the photographer snapped this photograph.

A Puzzle To Make Your Day


Click here

Click above. It will ask you to open or save the power point slideshow. Choose either and when the page opens, simply click on the puzzle pieces to remove them.

Classic Oldies Jukebox


Baby Boomer Radio - Click here
Click Above to Listen
*Thanks for the link James!

Thursday, February 16, 2023

The Peanut

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.

Man eating peanut butter

He'd toss one in the air, then catch it in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, the peanut fell into his ear.

He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded only in pushing it in deeper. His wife tried to help, but after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out.

The young man told the father to sit down, then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out.

The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for something to eat.

Once he was gone the mother turned to the father and said, "That's wonderful - isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?" The father replied, "From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law!"


1955 Mercury

"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20."

"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one."
"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."

"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"

"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."
"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."
"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."
"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every new movie has either "hell" or "damn" in it.

"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century... They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."

"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be  making more than the president."
"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."
"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."
"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."
"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."
"I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."

"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."

"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."
"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."
"No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood."

"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."

Cobra Kai

The Wizard is late to the party but started binge watching Cobra Kai on Netflix. The series follows the later in life adventures of Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence after they have both grown up. Johnny  opens up Cobra Kai, a dojo trying hard to get people to join to learn karate. Miguel Diaz is his only student at the beginning of the series. Miguel is subject to bullying at school and Johnny has taken him under his wing to help Miguel defend himself from his attackers.

Cobra Kai
It's turning out to be a great series. If you liked Karate Kid, you'll love Cobra Kai.

Watch on Netflix

Wednesday, February 15, 2023

R.I.P. Raquel Welch ( 1940 - 2023)

Raquel Welch

Actress and model Raquel Welch, known for her roles in the 1966 films "Fantastic Voyage" and "One Million Years B.C." has died, according to her representative. Welch was 82.

"The legendary bombshell actress of film, television and stage, passed away peacefully early this morning after a brief illness," Welch's rep said in a statement to KABC. "Her career spanned over 50 years starring in over 30 films and 50 television series and appearances. The Golden Globe winner, in more recent years, was involved in a very successful line of wigs."

"Raquel leaves behind her two children, son Damon Welch and her daughter, Tahnee Welch," her rep added. 

Raquel Welch

How to Store Eggs to Keep Them Super-Fresh

excerpt from Reader's Digest


Besides focusing on getting a container of eggs home and into the fridge without breaking one, it turns out we should be paying a little more attention to how we’re storing them. According to TikTok user theshilohfarm, there is a right way when it comes to storing eggs in the fridge…and it’s probably not how you’ve been doing it. Eggs should be stored with the pointed end down and the blunt, more rounded side facing up. Why? It will keep the yolk more centred inside the egg and will help your eggs stay fresh longer.

My Daily Affirmation


Cinosam's Daily Affirmation

Once you see it, it will always be there


KFC Logo
The Colonel's tie looks like tiny arms and legs that his massive head is on top of...

Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Oh look.


Oh Look! It's beating for you!
Happy Valentine's Day from The Wizard

30 Best Love Quotes for Valentine's Day -- and EVERYDAY!


 30 Best Love Quotes for Valentine's Day -- and EVERYDAY!

1. I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you.
 —Roy Croft

2. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.
 —Elizabeth Barrett Browning

3. Come live with me, and be my love, and we will some new pleasures prove, of golden sands, and crystal brooks, with silken lines and silver hooks.
 —John Donne

4. Love doesn’t make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
 —Franklin P. Jones

5. In real love you want the other person’s good. In romantic love you want the other person.
 — Margaret Anderson

6. Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
 — Aristotle

7. The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.
 — Victor Hugo

8. When you are in love you can’t fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams.
 — Dr. Seuss

9. Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. — Robert A. Heinlein

10. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
 — Mignon McLaughlin

11. Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
 — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

12. Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.
 — Erich Fromm

13. You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
 — Sam Keen

14. The life and love we create is the life and love we live.
 — Leo Buscaglia

15. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
 — Lao Tzu

16. Love is the beauty of the soul.
 — St. Augustine

17. Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.
— Oliver Wendell Holmes

18. Love is like a friendship caught on fire: In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.
— Bruce Lee

19. Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.
 — Eric Fromm

20. Do I love you because you’re beautiful, Or are you beautiful because I love you?
— Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, Cinderella

21. Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.
— Peter Ustinov

22. Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.
— Michael Leunig

23. Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and fans the bonfire.
 — François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

24. Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.
 — Henry Van Dyke

25. Will you love me in December as you do in May, Will you love me in the good old fashioned way?  When my hair has all turned gray,  Will you kiss me then and say,  That you love me in December as you do in May?
 — James J. Walker

26. You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.
— Author Unknown

27. We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
— W. Somerset Maugham

28. Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart.
— Author Unknown

29.  Love is not blind – it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
 — Julins Gordon

30. When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
 —Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally


The 411 - Special Edition - Saint Valentine

St. ValentineSaint Valentine refers to one or more martyred saints of ancient Rome. The feast of Saint Valentine was formerly celebrated on February 14 by the Roman Catholic Church until the revised calendar 1969.

His birth date and birthplace are unknown. Valentine's name does not occur in the earliest list of Roman martyrs, that was compiled by the Chronographer of 354.

The feast of St. Valentine was first decreed in 496 by Pope Gelasius I, who included Valentine among those "... whose names are justly reverenced among men, but whose acts are known only to God." As Gelasius implied, nothing is known about the lives of any of these martyrs.

According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, the saint whose feast was celebrated on the day now known as St. Valentine's Day was possibly one of three martyred men named Valentinus who lived in the late third century, during the reign of Emperor Claudius II (died 270):

* a priest in Rome
* a bishop of Interamna (modern Terni)
* a martyr in the Roman province of Africa

Various dates are given for their martyrdoms: 269, 270 or 273. The name was a popular one in Late Antiquity, with its connotations of valens, "being strong". Several emperors and a pope bore the name, not to mention a powerful gnostic teacher of the second century, Valentinius, for a time drawing a threateningly large following.

That the creation of the feast for such dimly conceived figures may have been an attempt to supersede the pagan holiday of Lupercalia that was still being celebrated in fifth-century Rome, on February 15 is apparently a figment of the English eighteenth-century antiquarian Alban Butler, embellished by Francis Douce, as Jack Oruch conclusively demonstrated in 1981. Many of the current legends that characterise Saint Valentine were invented in the fourteenth century in England, notably by Geoffrey Chaucer and his circle, when the feast day of February 14 first became associated with romantic love.

It is believed that the priest of Rome and the bishop St. ValentineValentinus are each buried along the Via Flaminia outside Rome, at different distances from the city. Their calendar days of martyrdom have been made to coincide. In the Middle Ages, two Roman churches were dedicated to Saint Valentinus. One was the tenth-century church Sancti Valentini de Balneo Miccine or de Piscina, which was rededicated by Pope Urban III in 1186. The other, on the Via Flaminia, was the ancient basilica S. Valentini extra Portam founded by Pope Julius I (337‑352), though not under this dedication. Though the basilica is quae apellantur Valentini, "which is called of Valentinus", early basilicas were as often called by the name of their former patron as by the saint to whom they were dedicated: see titulus.

In the catacombs connected with the basilica of Valentinus, outside the Porta del Popolo, nineteenth-century excavations unearthed two hundred Christian inscriptions. Lanciani reported, from the chronicle of the monastery of S. Michael ad Mosam, an account of a pilgrim of the eleventh century who obtained relics of saints "'from the keeper of a certain cemetery, in which lamps are always burning.'" He refers to the basilica of S. Valentine and the small hypogaeum attached to it (discovered in 1887)" .

The earliest written Acta for Saint Valentinus were written in the sixth or seventh century, when the hagiographical genre was well established, with pious accounts of magic and torture shared among many texts and applied to many martyr-saints. The longer of the two is that written of the martyr Valentinus of Terni and his magical cure, through faith alone, of a crippled child. Bede, in the eighth century, knew of both hagiographies and included respripts of both under 14 February in his martyrology

The Legenda Aurea of Jacobus de Voragine, compiled about 1260 and one of the most-read books of the High Middle Ages, gives sufficient details of the saints and for each day of the liturgical year to inspire a homily on each occasion. The very brief vita of St Valentine has him refusing to deny Christ before the "Emperor Claudius" in the year 280. Before his head was cut off, this Valentine restored sight and hearing to the daughter of his jailer. Jacobus makes a play with the etymology of "Valentine", "as containing valour".

The Legenda Aurea does not contain anything about hearts and last notes signed "from your Valentine", as is sometimes suggested in modern works of sentimental piety. Many of the current legends surrounding them appear in the late Middle Ages in France and England, when the feast day of February 14 became associated with romantic love.

St. Valentine's Day

For more details on this topic, see Valentine's Day.

Jack Oruch has made a well-supported case that the traditions associated St. Valentinewith "Valentine's Day", well-documented in Geoffrey Chaucer's Parliament of Foules, and generally set in a supposed context of an old tradition, in fact had no such tradition before Chaucer. The speculative explanation of sentimental customs, posing as historical fact, had their origins among eighteenth-century antiquaries, notably Alban Butler, the author of Butler's Lives of Saints, and have been perpetuated even by respectable modern scholars. Most notably, "the idea that Valentine's Day customed perpetuated those of the Roman Lupercalia has been accepted uncritically and repeated, in various forms, up to the present"

In 1836, relics that were exhumed from the catacombs of Saint Hippolytus on the Via Tiburtina, then near Rome, were identified with St Valentine; placed in a gilded casket, they were transported to the Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland, to which they were donated by Pope Gregory XVI. Many tourists visit the saintly remains on St. Valentine's Day, when the casket is carried in solemn procession to the high altar for a special Mass dedicated to young people and all those in love. Alleged bodily relics of St Valentine also lie at the reliquary of Roquemaure in France, in the Stephansdom in Vienna and also in Blessed St. John Duns Scotus church in the Gorbals area of Glasgow, Scotland.

The saint's feast day was removed from the Church calendar in 1969 as part of a broader effort to remove saints viewed by some as being of purely legendary origin. The feast day is still celebrated locally in some parishes such as Balzan in Malta where relics of the saint are claimed to be found, as well as by those Catholics who follow the older, pre-Vatican II calendar. Prior to this action, the church in Rome that had been dedicated to him observed his feast day by, among other things, displaying his reputed skull surrounded by roses, much like the iconography often used by the Grateful Dead.

*From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia