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Saturday, September 30, 2006

The Love Doctor

The Love Doctor Dear Love Doctor,

I saw your column and just wanted to ask, how are you qualified to answer love and romance and relationship questions?


Signed,

Skeptical in San Diego.


Howdy Skeptical! First of all, congratulations! You are my very first advice questioner email sender person that has asked me that! And all the way from South America! Hola! I don’t really speak Spanish, excepting like “Burrito, and “Taco”, “Cheeto” and “Canola”. And of course “Corona”, the Lab Lite of Mexico.

Anyways, let ME ask YOU, what qualifies YOU to ask ME what qualifies ME to give advice to YOU? You follow Me? Now I’m not trying to be rude, I’m just doing what they call “turning the tables”. Which is an expression which came from the old days when people wanted to really change things up and they’d turn tables for real, and suddenly see everything from a whole fresh perspective cuz the table was suddenly all turned. And that’s really what it’s all about. Getting Fresh. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times- KEEP CHANGING- BE ORIGINAL- BE FRESH!

The best way to get someone to fall for you is to pretend to be really spontaneous and full of life and passionate and excited about life. It will wear you down, but you only have to keep it up for 6 months or so. And that’s what it all gets down to. Keeping it up. Keeping up your irresistible persona until they are locked in to the relationship. Then drop that sumbich act ASAP so you can recupe. It’s just like when you are at the lake and a hot babe walks by and you suck in your beer gut (or your gutto de Corona as you might say) and then as soon as they walk by, you let the flab bounce out again. And if they stop and talk to you, you just try to use a normal voice while you are pressing in with all the force God will give you, while hoping no air blows out your basement.

So you just kinda do that for 6 months or so, till it’s just easier for them to stay than start over with someone else doing the same thing. I better stop there- I don’t wanna give away ALL my advice all in one post!

Anyone else need some advice- FREE dating advice (but donations accepted for beer money) send ‘em in to The Love Doctor! I got lots of time now that I been only workin' part time and I got nothing else to do. Kind of a hero at extra large I guess.


The Love Doctor

--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)

Beeee Carefull!!

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when he hears:

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP... behind him.


Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him
 

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...


Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him

faster...

faster...


BUMP...


BUMP...


BUMP...


He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.


However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

on his heels the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...

and,
 

(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)




The coffin stops! HYUK!
Oh shut up...I thought it was funny Beeee Carefull!!

Casino Royale

Starring: Daniel Craig, Eva Green, Judi Dench, Caterina Murino, Mads Mikkelsen.


Synopsis: CASINO ROYALE is based on Ian Fleming's novel of the same name. Published in 1953, it was the first book in his 'James Bond' series. EON Productions' CASINO ROYALE produced by Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli will mark the introduction of Daniel Craig (Munich/Layer Cake) as legendary secret agent, 007. Martin Campbell (GoldenEye/The Legend Of Zorro) is directing this film, the 21st in the 44 year franchise.

STORY OUTLINE: CASINO ROYALE introduces JAMES BOND before he holds his license to kill. But Bond is no less dangerous, and with two professional assassinations in quick succession, he is elevated to '00' status.Bond's first 007 mission takes him to Madagascar, where he is to spy on a terrorist, MOLLAKA (Sebastien Foucan). Not everything goes to plan and Bond decides to investigate, independently of MI6, in order to track down the rest of the terrorist cell. Following a lead to the Bahamas, he encounters DIMITRIOS (Simon Abkarian) and his girlfriend, SOLANGE (Caterina Murino).

He learns that Dimitrios is involved with LE CHIFFRE (Mads Mikkelsen), banker to the world's terrorist organizations.Secret Service intelligence reveals that Le Chiffre is planning to raise money in a high-stakes poker game in Montenegro at Le Casino Royale. MI6 assigns 007 to play against him, knowing that if Le Chiffre loses, it will destroy his organization.'M' (Judi Dench) places Bond under the watchful eye of the beguiling VESPER LYND (Eva Green).


At first skeptical of what value Vesper can provide, Bond's interest in her deepens as they brave danger together and even torture at the hands of Le Chiffre.In Montenegro, Bond allies himself with MATHIS (Giancarlo Giannini), MI6's local field agent, and FELIX LEITER (Jeffrey Wright), who is representing the interests of the CIA. The marathon game proceeds with dirty tricks and violence, raising the stakes beyond blood money and reaching a terrifying climax.

Visit the Official Site.

Stay 'tooned' for the review!


Windows Holes


Another zero-day threat hits Windows - Sample code is circulating on the Internet for an attack using a flaw that Microsoft knows about, but has not yet fixed. 

On Thursday, Microsoft warned people about a vulnerability in the Windows Shell, the part of the operating system that presents the user interface. The flaw affects Windows 2000, Windows XP and Windows Server 2003 and could be exploited via the Internet Explorer Web browser through a component called WebViewFolderIcon, the company said in an advisory. "An attacker could host a specially crafted Web site that is designed to exploit this vulnerability through Internet Explorer," Microsoft said. "An attacker who successfully exploited this vulnerability could gain the same user rights as the local user." 

While sample exploit code has been published, Microsoft said it has not yet seen any related attacks. The vulnerability was actually discovered two months ago, but the code only surfaced this week, according to the French Security Incident Response Team. Security monitoring company Secunia deems the issue "extremely critical," its most severe rating. Microsoft said it is working on a fix and plans to release it on Oct. 10 as part of its regular patch cycle. Meanwhile, it suggested several workarounds in its advisory to protect Windows systems. --more--

*ZDNet

How to make a woman happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy.

A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:




birthdays








anniversaries







arrangements she makes






HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food


*Thanks, Daryn

The Bluebird of Happiness


The Bluebird of Happiness

*Thanks, SalTCBug

This can save a life

Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or love one's life. 

****** Here it is *******

Crucial Because of recent abductions in daylight hours,refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation... This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips , pass on the post to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in. 

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do! 

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans . If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM . Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! 

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives. 

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE. a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location. 

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage: -->Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. -->If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars. -->Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.) 

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!) 

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably! in a zig -zag pattern! 

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim. 

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night. I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. Direct this post to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better to be safe than sorry. (Click on the "a social media button" and share this today....)

Veggie Slide Puzzle


Veggie Slide Puzzle - Click here

Click Above. When the next window opens, use your mouse to move the pieces and make the picture

Friday, September 29, 2006

From The Emerald City


The Emerald City



I have added a new feature to 'OZ'. I get a lot of reader's emailing me asking where 'x' post is, so The Wizard has teamed up with Google to offer a search box for inside 'OZ' (Includes the archives!), as well as the web! You will find the search box on the top left side as well as near the bottom of the page.

Happy searching!

Yours,

--The Wizard


Woman's 7.5 metre fingernails

A US woman who has been growing her fingernails since 1979 has made the Guiness Book of Records.

Lee Redmond, 65, from Utah, qualified for entry in the 2007 edition after her nails reached a combined length of 7.5 metres. She's going to have them all removed - by laser - on November 22 this year. Mrs Redmond treats her nails daily with warm olive oil and nail hardener and says she can do most household chores without a problem, including shaving her husband.

Also making the new edition of the record book is 16-year-old Aaron Studham, from Massachussetts, who boasts a 53 cm high mohican.

Lee Redmond and her fingernails

The Golden Telephone

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

"O.K., thank you," said the American.

He then traveled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston and New York.

In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.

The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to Canada to see if Canadians had the same phone.

He arrived in Canada, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "40 cents per call."

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?"

The priest smiled and answered, "You're in Canada now, son - it's a local call".

ADHD Linked To Lead, Smoking


(Chicago, Illinois) About one-third of attention deficit cases among U.S. children may be linked with tobacco smoke before birth or to lead exposure afterward, according to provocative new research. Even levels of lead the government considers acceptable appeared to increase a child's risk of having attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, the study found. It builds on previous research linking attention problems, including ADHD, with childhood lead exposure and smoking during pregnancy, and offers one of the first estimates for how much those environmental factors might contribute. "It's a landmark paper that quantifies the number of cases of ADHD that can be attributed to very important environmental exposures," said Dr. Leo Trasande, assistant director of the Center for Children's Health and the Environment at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York. More importantly, the study bolsters suspicions that low-level lead exposure previously linked to behavior problems "is in fact associated with ADHD," said Trasande, who was not involved in the research. The study's estimate is in line with a National Academy of Sciences report in 2000 that said about 3 percent of all developmental and neurological disorders in U.S. children are caused by toxic chemicals and other environmental factors and 25 percent are due to a combination of environmental factors and genetics. "The findings of this study underscore the profound behavioral health impact of these prevalent exposures, and highlight the need to strengthen public health efforts to reduce prenatal tobacco smoke exposure and childhood lead exposure," said the authors, led by researcher Joe Braun of the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. The study was to be published online Tuesday in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives. ADHD is a brain disorder affecting between 4 percent and 12 percent of school-age children - or as many as 3.8 million youngsters. Affected children often have trouble sitting still and paying attention and act impulsively at home and at school. Researchers aren't certain about its causes but believe genetics and environmental factors including prenatal exposure to alcohol, tobacco or illicit drugs may play a role. Dr. Helen Binns, a researcher at Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago, said the study is a thoughtful analysis but doesn't prove lead exposure is among the causes. It's possible, for example, that young children with ADHD are more likely than others to eat old leaded paint chips or inhale leaded paint dust because of their hyperactivity. The researchers analyzed data on nearly 4,000 U.S. children ages 4 to 15 who were part of a 1999-2002 government health survey. Included were 135 children treated for ADHD.

They asked whether mothers had smoked during pregnancy but used blood tests to determine lead exposure, said co-author Dr. Bruce Lanphear, a researcher at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center. Children whose mothers smoked during pregnancy were 2 1/2 times more likely to have ADHD than children who weren't prenatally exposed to tobacco. Children with blood lead levels of more than 2 micrograms per deciliter were four times more likely to have ADHD than children with levels below 0.8 microgram per deciliter. The government's "acceptable" blood lead level is 10 micrograms per deciliter, and an estimated 310,000 U.S. children ages 1 to 5 have levels exceeding that. Based on study estimates, more than 5 million 4-to-15-year-olds nationwide have levels higher than 2 micrograms per deciliter, Lanphear said. Trasande said the study adds further proof that the government should lower its threshold for safe lead exposure. Exposure to tobacco smoke after birth was not associated with increased ADHD risks, even though childhood exposure to lead was. "Saying there are different periods of vulnerability to different toxins is perfectly plausible," said Dr. Robert Geller, a pediatric toxicologist at Emory University. "There may be very specific periods of vulnerability," depending on when the developing brain is exposed, Geller said.

*by Lindsey Tanner, Associated Press

Michael Emerson takes charge of The Others in third season of 'Lost'

HONOLULU (AP)- Henry Gale wasn't supposed to survive this long.

The cunning, bug-eyed character on ABC's castaway drama "Lost," played by Michael Emerson, was hired for three episodes midway through Season 2. But once producers saw Emerson in action, he was made into a key character and is now leading The Others in the highly anticipated third season.


"The reason The Others seem so frightening is like everything in the real world - it's frightening when it's unknown," Emerson told The Associated Press. "Their agenda is unknown to us; therefore we fill it up with terrible imaginings."

The former Broadway actor is best known to TV audiences for his Emmy-winning performance as a serial killer in "The Practice." Damon Lindelof, co-creator and executive producer of "Lost" (season premiere Wednesday at 9 p.m. ET), said the original plan was to have Henry escape after the three episodes. But Season 2 ended with Henry and his armed cadre on a dock, holding plane crash survivors Jack, Kate and Sawyer captive.

"Who are you people?" asked Michael, who had betrayed his fellow castaways in exchange for his son.

"We're the good guys," Henry replies.


"I think he means it," Emerson said of his character (actors are typically kept in the dark about future plot developments). "We may not agree with him, but I think he believes it."

Season 3 opens with Jack (Matthew Fox), Kate (Evangeline Lily) and Sawyer (Josh Holloway) in captivity. This season will explore why they were targeted; whether Sun's baby is really Jin's; Charlie trying to gain Claire's trust, a new woman catching Jack's attention; Locke and Sayid leading a group to rescue the three captives; and Desmond's wealthy lover trying to locate the island.

"In Season 3, the show moves geographically and spiritually to another place," Emerson said. "We will be with The Others more. They will become more three-dimensional."

He said viewers may even come to sympathize with The Others, who were on island long before the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815.

Microsoft fixes fatal browser flaw

With attackers finding new ways to exploit a critical flaw in Internet Explorer, Microsoft Corp. has released a patch for the problem, ahead of its next scheduled round of security updates. The patch fixes a critical vulnerability in the way Internet Explorer renders VML (Vector Markup Language) graphics. Hackers had been exploiting the flaw, which also affects some versions of Outlook, for more than a week. --more--

*ITWorldCanada.com

The 25 PCs that changed our lives forever

PC World's list of the top 25 PCs of all time was assembled after they polled our editors for nominations. They then rated the nominated gadgets for innovation, impact, industrial design and intangibles. Here are the results. 

1. 1977 Apple II 

2. 1986 Compaq Deskpro 386 

3. 1981 Xerox 8010 Information System 

4. 1986 Apple Macintosh Plus 

5. 1992 IBM ThinkPad 700C 

6. 1981 IBM Personal Computer, Model 5150 

7. 1985 Commodore Amiga 1000 

8. 1983 Tandy TRS-80 Model 100 

9. 1982 Columbia Data Products MPC 1600-1 

10. 1991 Apple PowerBook 100 

11. 1998 Sony VAIO 505GX 

12. 1975 MITS Altair 8800 

13. 1984 IBM Personal Computer/AT Model 5170 

14. 1979 Atari 800 

15. 2001 Shuttle SV24 Barebone System 

16. 1977 Tandy TRS-80 Model I 

17. 1987 Toshiba T1000 

18. 1993 Hewlett-Packard OmniBook 300 

19. 2002 Apple iMac, second generation 

20. 1996 Gateway 2000 Destination 

21. 1998 Alienware Area-51

22. 1993 Hewlett-Packard 100LX 

23. 1997 Apple eMate 300

24. 2006 Toshiba Qosmio G35-AV650

25. 1982 Non-Linear Systems Kaypro II

*ITWorldCanada.com

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Real 'Itsy Bitsy' songwriter still alive

The man who co-wrote the song "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" had the unsettling experience this week of reading his own obituary — the result of an impostor who went through life claiming to be the author of the 1960s smash hit.

Click here for the song

On Tuesday, The Associated Press reported on the death of a 68-year-old man named Paul Van Valkenburgh of Ormond Beach, Fla., who claimed to have written the song under the name Paul Vance. The story cited the man's wife as the source for that claim.

But the music industry's real Paul Vance, a 76-year-old man from Coral Springs, Fla., is alive and well, and says the other Paul Vance appears to have made the whole thing up.

The Paul Vance who wrote the songs — and provided proof with royalty payments he is still receiving for the hit — said he has been inundated with calls from people who think he died. An owner of racehorses, Vance said two of his horses were scratched from races Wednesday because people thought he had died.

"Do you know what it's like to have grandchildren calling you and say, `Grandpa, you're still alive?'" he said in a telephone interview from Coral Springs. "This is not a game. I am who I am and I'm proud of who I am. But these phones don't stop with people calling thinking I'm dead."

Rose Leroux, the widow of the man who died, said she was surprised by the disclosure, and "kind of devastated." She said she had no reason to doubt that her husband — who apparently had some sort of music career when he was younger — was the writer of the famous tune.

She said her husband told her that he never got any royalties because he sold the rights when he was young, around 19. She said that by the time they met almost 40 years ago, he was making his living as a salesman. He later became a painting contractor.

"If this other man says he did it then my husband's a liar, or he's a liar," Leroux said.

The living Paul Vance estimated he has made several million dollars from the song, which was recorded by 16-year-old teen idol Brian Hyland, surged to No. 1 on the Billboard charts in August 1960 and has been pop culture staple ever since.

The song — about a bashful young woman in a skimpy bathing suit — has been used in such movies as "Sister Act 2" and "Revenge of the Nerds II" and was more recently revived in a yogurt commercial.

"It's a money machine," Vance said.

Vance said his first hit was "Catch a Falling Star," recorded by Perry Como, and he went on to write numerous million-sellers for Como, Johnny Mathis and others.

To prove he is the real songwriter, Vance provided royalty statements showing dozens of payments for the tune sent to his address in Westbury, N.Y., where he lived before moving to Florida. Jim Steinblatt, an official with the American Society for Composers, Authors and Publishers, confirmed that royalty checks for the song were being mailed to Vance in Westbury.

Steinblatt also said he knows Vance personally and had visited him at his Westbury home last year. He said he had never heard of the man who died and took credit for composing the song.

Vance said he has no animosity toward the impostor or his wife.

Vance's songwriting partner, Lee Pockriss, who shares credit on "Itsy Bitsy ...', lives in Bridgewater, Conn., and is recovering from a stroke. His wife, Sonya, said her husband's writing partner is the living Paul Vance, and she had never heard of the Paul Vance from Ormond Beach.

Leroux said she wished the other Paul Vance had never spoken up.

"It's such a long time ago. To have it come out now, I'm kind of devastated," she said. "If this man is getting the royalties why wouldn't he be happy? The more you stir this up the more you'll smell. Paul can't hurt him now — he's dead. And we're not going after him for the royalties."


*Associated Press Writers Travis Reed in Orlando, Fla., and Verena Dobnik in New York contributed to this report.

Alberta Hail


These photos are of the BaxGlobal plane that had a run in with 'Alberta Hail' last month... The pilot managed to return and land at the Calgary airport. This damage was inflicted upon the plane 5 minutes into the flight after takeoff from Calgary. After managing to somehow bring the plane to a safe landing, the pilot....QUIT !!! No sh*t, he basically got out of the cockpit and said..." I quit !!!" Unreal !!!

Alberta Hail Damage to airplane
Alberta Hail Damage to airplane
Alberta Hail Damage to airplane
Alberta Hail Damage to airplane
Alberta Hail Damage to airplane
Alberta Hail Damage to airplane
Alberta Hail Damage to airplane
Alberta Hail Damage to airplane
Alberta Hail Damage to airplane

Passions Uncovered: Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Pulps

A Few of the Boys


Passions Uncovered: Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Pulps is intended as an introduction to the University Library’s extensive collection (over 200 titles) of queer paperbacks (usually called pulps after the cheap newsprint used in their production) dating from the 1950s and early 1960s. Following World War II, inexpensive paperback novels began flooding North American newsstands, bus depots and drugstore racks. Remarkably many dealt with lesbian and male homosexuality. The writers—male, female, straight, gay—often used pseudonyms, and their huge readerships spanned all sexual orientations.

With provocative titles, sexually explicit covers, lurid descriptions, and frequently tragic endings, these pulp paperbacks were after the emergence of gay liberation in the 1970s often simply dismissed as stereotypic, negative, and exploitative. However, they were the largest body of overtly gay writings of their time, and despite their faults they provided invaluable information and encouragement to thousands of isolated homosexuals outside major urban centers.

Queer pulps are now avidly collected by those interested in gay and lesbian history and by those attracted by their retro designs and camp appeal. The U of S Library collection was established only a few years ago but has grown rapidly through many generous gifts to become the largest and most diverse collection at a Canadian University. Readers interested in more information about queer pulps and their covers may view the new site at:

http://library2.usask.ca/srsd/pulps/

Main Website: http://library2.usask.ca/srsd/


Rumours of Osama bin Laden's death go back years

 He was blown up in the caves of Tora Bora. He was on dialysis and dying of kidney disease. He was in the hands of Pakistani intelligence and about to be turned over to the United States. Rumors of Osama bin Laden's death or capture go back years, and they have always proved greatly exaggerated. The latest came Saturday, when a leaked French intelligence document citing a "usually reliable" source said the Saudi secret service was convinced the 52-year-old al Qaeda terror chief had died of typhoid last month in Pakistan. 

Officials from Riyadh to Paris to Washington rushed to insist they had nothing to substantiate the report, but not before news of it reached every corner of the globe and renewed the debate about why the world's largest dragnet has failed to get its man. "There has been a grave failure five years after 9/11 that the true leaders of the attacks are still free, and that they are still alive," said Rohan Gunaratna, head of terrorism research at Singapore's Institute of Defense and Strategic Studies. Gunaratna cited comments by bin Laden's no. 2, Ayman al-Zawahri, released on the fifth anniversary of the attacks, as evidence the French report was erroneous. "Ayman al-Zawahri issued a statement on Sept. 11 in which he specifically refers to Osama bin Laden being alive," Gunaratna says. "There is no reason for al-Zawahri to lie, since he wants to keep his credibility within the movement." 

A Pakistani counterterrorism official with intimate knowledge of the hunt also dismissed the French report, saying nothing was known about bin Laden's health or location. He spoke on condition of anonymity, citing the sensitivity of the matter. The denial was echoed by a purported spokesman for the Taliban, the former Afghan regime that sheltered bin Laden after the 9/11 attacks. He also asked not to be named. The French report is not the first to allude to bin Laden suffering from a life-threatening illness. For years, intelligence services took seriously assessments that bin Laden might be suffering from kidney disease, and there were even reports he was forced to lug a dialysis machine from one mountain hideout to another. But in 2003, Amer Aziz, bin Laden's former doctor in Afghanistan, shot down the reports. He told The Associated Press he gave bin Laden a complete physical in 1999, and saw him again in November 2001 while he was on the run from U.S. forces, and found no sign of illness on either occasion. "If you are on dialysis, you have a special look. I didn't see any of that," Aziz told a reporter at his office in Lahore, Pakistan following his release from U.S. custody. The latest video featuring fresh footage of bin Laden came out in 2004, just before the U.S. presidential elections. In it he appeared healthy and relaxed, particularly for a man who was believed to be hiding in the rugged mountains between Pakistan and Afghanistan, or possibly in Afghanistan itself, in the remote, forested eastern province of Nuristan. The U.S. has conducted hundreds of search-and-seizure operations in the region but has been stonewalled by an increasingly unfriendly local population. A number of audiotapes of the terror leader have come out since the 2004 video, the latest in June, and a video that featured what appears to be older footage of bin Laden was released in September.

Bert is Evil - Click here Seems that Bert is ready to take over Bin-Laden's role... click above to see the proof! Mugshot of Bert Bert's Mug Shot

The lack of film of the terror chief since 2004 has further muddied the waters. His decision to appear only on tape could be his way of heightening his mystique, or denying his pursuers visuals that might reveal his whereabouts. Or it could be an effort to hide his state of health. Paul Wilkinson of the Centre for the Study of Terrorism and Political Violence at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland said the latest report of bin Laden's death could prompt his inner circle to advise him to deliver proof he is alive and healthy. He speculated that the French report may have been leaked to shake the branches and illicit just such a response from the terror leader, giving the intelligence community a chance to home in on "chatter" among terrorists. "It does create psychological pressure on the people and operatives" close to bin Laden, Wilkinson said. "There will be an expectation that he make some sort of appearance." The years of false hope and genuine close calls have contributed to the aura that bin Laden enjoys among his followers. They have also added to the frustration of those charged with bringing him to justice. In 1998, following the bombing of two U.S. embassies in Africa, the U.S. launched 62 Tomahawk cruise missiles at two al-Qaida training camps in Afghanistan. It was believed bin Laden was at one of them meeting with several of his top men, but left shortly before the missiles struck. Following the Sept. 11 attacks and the fall of the Taliban, Afghan militiamen fighting on behalf of the United States felt certain they had surrounded bin Laden at Tora Bora. Villagers reported seeing him hike into the mountains, and accounts of devastating airstrikes on the caves prompted rumors that bin Laden was dead. He wasn't. In the end, one of the Afghan warlords the United States was relying on for ground operations betrayed the others, Afghan fighters told the Associated Press, and bin Laden escaped into Pakistan. In 2003, Pakistani forces raided the village of Lattaka, near the border with Afghanistan, on intelligence that bin Laden might be hiding there. In 2004, U.S. Lt. Gen. David Barno said from Afghanistan that he expected to bring bin Laden to justice that year, and Pakistani intelligence officials described him as being boxed in, but he was never captured. Since then, the trail of the world's most wanted man has gone cold, but that hasn't stopped the rumors. An Iranian state-run radio station sparked worldwide headlines in February 2004 when it flashed an urgent story that bin Laden was in the hands of Pakistan's intelligence agency. The source of the report turned out to be a Pakistani journalist at a newspaper in the western city of Peshawar, who claimed to have been misquoted. A 2005 posting on an Islamic Web site that began with a headline saying bin Laden was dead also turned out to be false, but not before the news sent world stock markets briefly soaring. Reports that bin Laden has been nabbed were even used in a computer virus attack, when thousands of messages were posted on Internet chat sites in 2004 that began with the subject line "Osama bin Laden captured." When users clicked a link that was supposed to take them to photos, they triggered the virus.

*Associated Press

Pretty Damn 'Smart'!


35 Funny Things To Say When A Guy Drops His Pants...

35 Funny Things To Say When A Guy Drops His Pants...

35 Funny Things To Say When A Guy Drops His Pants...

35 Funny Things To Say When A Guy Drops His Pants...

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Riddle Me This!


A Boy Girl

The boy is a boy and the girl is a girl but the girl has no idea that she is a girl and the boy has no idea that he is a girl.

The boy has long hair and the girl has short hair and the girl takes her top off in front of everyone while the boy thinks that rude and disgusting. Who's who.


Riddle me this! -Answer. Click here

Click above for the answer.

NRC uses IT to see secrets behind Mona Lisa's smile

Researchers use a specially-built laser scanner to create a digital model of Da Vinci's most famous painting. Find out what they learned, and where else the technology might be applied.

Mona Lisa SmileMona Lisa SmileMona Lisa SmileMona Lisa SmileMona Lisa SmileMona Lisa Smile

OTTAWA -- Formerly unknown details about how the Mona Lisa wore her hair and covered her dress have literally come to light, thanks to a high tech analysis by Canadian and French researchers working on Leonardo da Vinci’s masterpiece. The light was generated by a 3D colour laser scanner that has been designed and built at the National Research Council’s Institute for Information Technology. This equipment uses triangulation to create three-dimensional images with a depth resolution of 10 microns, just a fraction of the width of a human hair. When the scanner is applied to a painting, the resulting digital model reveals visual details that can elude the sharpest eye, as well as information about the deposition of paint and the integrity of the underlying structure. The technical and aesthetic significance of such information highlighted an announcement held at NRC’s headquarters here Tuesday.

laser on The Mona Lisa
In the case of the Mona Lisa, the technique has revealed the fact that the model was wearing a bonnet on her head, a common style for the time but an adornment that could not be seen with the naked eye. Similarly invisible is a thin gauze veil over her dress, typically worn by women who had recently given birth, which historians know she had done. These subtle aspects of the 500-year-old portrait were obscured when a dark varnish was placed over its surface during the 19th century, likely the work of some well-intentioned conservator attempting to prevent the artwork’s deterioration. The scanner penetrated this layer to reveal the most intimate dimensions of the painting’s physical substrate, allowing these features to be viewed once again. NRC offers samples of these various “looks” for the Mona Lisa here, where visitors can witness the range of information about that painting that has now become available. “You can see details on this image that you cannot see if you were to go to see the Mona Lisa in the Louvre today,” says John Taylor, one of the lead scientist in the NRC team that carried out the work. That team worked closely with members of the Centre de recherche et de restauration des musées de France, that country’s foremost art conservation authority. Working under high security during the course of two evenings when the Louvre was closed to the public, these experts were allowed to work directly with the priceless painting. 

Mounting the scanner on a high precision platform just a few centimetres from the surface, the laser acquired successive bands four centimetres wide, with a lateral resolution of 60 microns. NRC has been honing this technology for the past 20 years, working with museums and other heritage institutions around the world. In addition to domestic organizations like the Canadian Museum of Civilization and the National Gallery, such work has also been conducted with American and European Universities, the British Museum, and the Peabody Museum. More recent applications have extended to archeological sites, seeking to preserve information from deteriorating cave paintings found in Italy, as well as Chinese artifacts that are going to be lost due to flooding caused by the Three Gorges Dam. Taylor noted that the work on the Mona Lisa represented the most ambitious application yet for this technology. The findings have become the basis of a book, Mona Lisa: Inside the Painting, which has also been published in French and German.

*by Tim Lougheed ITBusiness.ca

Europe space probe unmasks 'face' on Mars

BERLIN -- For decades, photos of what appeared to be a huge, face-shaped rock formation on Mars -- or even a statue of Elvis -- fuelled theories of intelligent life on the Red Planet. But high-resolution stereo cameras from the European Space Agency's Mars Express orbiter have debunked that myth with the clearest pictures yet of the region where the so-called face was found, ESA has said. 

"The face remains a figment of human imagination in a heavily eroded surface," the agency said in a statement. According to Michael McKay, an ESA engineer on the team that sent Mars Express into orbit, the new photos are so much sharper that they reveal that the area on a 1976 photograph by NASA's Viking 1 orbiter is one of many such raised surfaces in the greater Cydonia region. In 1998 and 2001, new, sharper pictures of the region were taken by NASA's Mars Global Surveyor and revealed simply a rugged landform. But that didn't halt public speculation. 

"People automatically thought, 'My goodness, it's a face. There must be intelligent life on Mars. Maybe the Martians built this huge monument to indicate that there is intelligent life and we should come and visit,'" McKay said. "Other people squinting their eyes looked at it and thought Elvis, The King, is alive and on Mars." The so-called Martian mesas are still interesting for planetary geologists. McKay said the photos can help analyze the geological processes that were at work to create the Cydonia region. *Associated Press

 
This face is the one discovered just a few short months ago:

The First Face Discovered 

 Click on the picture above to see the latest sighting.


Ask The Wizard (PHISHING)


Dear Wizard of 'OZ', I was wondering if you can tell me more about 'Phishing'? I have heard a lot about it but am confused about what it means. Signed, Not wanting to take the bait. Dear Bait,
"Phishing" is the name given to the kind of identity theft that attempts to persuade its victims to fill out an online form or respond to an email with details of their bank accounts, credit card numbers, passwords and other personal information. People can be fooled into doing this when they believe that they are reconfirming information needed by a reputable institution with which they are doing business. Banks will never send you unsolicited emails asking for confidential information, such as your password, PIN, credit card and account numbers. They will never ask you to validate or restore your account access through email. There are fraudulent emails that appear to have been sent by Canadian banks including Scotiabank and others. Please do not respond to emails asking you to verify confidential information by clicking on a link in the email. The link leads to a modified webpage that looks like a Scotiabank, or other banking webpage asking customers to validate personal information such as their bank card number, password and PIN. Report any suspicious requests to local your bank (BY PHONE) or call your local police. 

Do not respond to emails or web sites requesting personal information. 

Here are a few other practices that will assist you in avoiding these scams: 

Recognition Be suspicious of any email with urgent requests for personal financial information.
An unexpected web site, web page or email appearing to be from a legitimate company (such as Scotiabank) may try to entice you to provide your personal information by claiming to verify security information or account details, possibly to avoid interruption of a service. Phishers typically include upsetting or exciting (but false) statements in their emails to get people to react immediately (ie. threatening to discontinue access, or close an account). They typically ask for information such as usernames, passwords, credit card numbers, social security numbers, social insurance numbers, etc. Phisher emails are typically NOT personalized, while valid messages generally are. In addition, many phisher emails contain spelling and grammatical mistakes. Ensure that you are on a legitimate web page, examine the name after "https://" or "http://" and make sure that it is a recognized domain name. For example, the Scotia OnLine Sign-on page always starts with: "www.scotiaonline.scotiabank.com/". Exact spelling is important - any slightest deviation from this would indicate a suspicious site. For example: To access Scotia OnLine, always type out the address "www.scotiaonline.scotiabank.com". 

Actions - Don't use the links in an email to get to any web page, if you suspect the message might not be authentic. If you do have a relationship with the company mentioned in the email, call the company on the telephone, or log onto the website directly by typing in the Web address in your browser. Avoid filling out forms in email messages that ask for personal financial information. You should only communicate information such as credit card numbers or account information via a secure website. 

Please follow Safe Computing Practices to help protect your information.

It is important that you take steps to protect your information on your personal computer. Online Banking services follow strict Internet security standards. While they take strong measures to ensure the security of your financial transactions and the confidentiality of your information, it is extremely important that you also take precautions to ensure that your information remains safe and secure. We advise customers to read about these topics and follow the recommended safe computing practices: 

1. Protect Your Privacy 

Use caution before answering online and email requests for your personal information. Banks will never present you with unexpected webpages or send you unsolicited emails asking for your confidential information, such as your password, PIN, Access Code, credit card, account number, etc. We will never ask you to validate or restore your account access through unsolicited email. Protect your OnLine Password. Your OnLine password is confidential and must never be shared with any outside person or company. Pick a password that is difficult to guess by using a combination of letters and numbers (nothing obvious). 

Never send confidential information (such as account numbers of any type, bankcard, password, Access Code, etc.) via email. Avoid using software that records your passwords so that you don't need to enter them the next time you access a website from the same computer. This type of software could give other users of your computer access to your accounts. Avoid accidentally agreeing to have your Internet activity monitored by other parties by carefully reading the terms of any software you download and free services you accept online before you download them. Do not leave your computer unattended while logged on to your bank. Always log off when you're finished your online banking session. 

Clear your browser's cache after each OnLine session. Each time you access the Internet, your browser automatically saves a copy of the web pages you've visited. Diligently clearing your browser's cache after each session is an important step in safeguarding your account information. Keep your bankcard in sight at all times during transactions and never lend your card to anyone. Review your account statements and/or online account transaction details promptly and report any discrepancies immediately. With most online banks, you can review your up-to-date account transactions and therefore identify any discrepencies immediately. 

2. Use Anti-Virus Software
Whenever you use your personal computer and the Internet, there is a potential risk of contracting a computer virus or the possibility of infiltration by intrusion software commonly known as "Trojan Horses". Computer viruses can modify programs, delete files and erase the contents of hard drives. "Trojan Horses" can have similar effects and may be able to capture keystrokes, including passwords or other secret information. Spyware and other deceptive software can also conduct certain activities on your computer without your knowledge or consent. 

The potential consequences of any of these threats could include damage to your personal computer, compromise of your secret information and the inability to use online banking. For these reasons, You are advised to follow these practices: Install and frequently update a proven anti-virus product, such as McAfee VirusScan or Norton AntiVirus. Most popular anti-virus products include some spyware scanning capabilities. Only accept or download software from a source that you believe to be trusted. Never accept files or attachments when accessing websites, newsgroups and chat rooms unless you are very sure of their authenticity. 

Warning about 'free' services and software offering faster web surfing and email virus scanning: You are strongly advised to carefully read the terms of any free services you accept or software you download online before you accept them. They are known to sometimes include your consent to having all of your Internet browsing activity, including secure transactions monitored. In consenting to such terms, you may allow the service provider to collect highly personal information such as your bank account and credit card numbers and passwords. Your OnLine password is confidential and must never be shared with any outside person or company. In divulging your password, you may contravene the terms of your Bank Cardholder Agreement and you may be fully liable for any unauthorized access to your accounts and all associated losses arising from these disclosures. 

Ensure you are using a legally licensed operating system. 

3. Protect Your Internet Connection
There are additional vulnerabilities associated with having a computer directly connected to the Internet for an extended period of time. This applies to all users but it is extremely important for users with cable modem or digital subscriber line (DSL) Internet access. These methods of connection do not require 'dialing' into the Internet and thus are sometimes described as 'always on' connections. Unfortunately, as long as the computer remains 'on' and connected to the Internet, malicious parties have a continuous window of opportunity for attacks on the user's personal computer. If you use a cable modem or DSL connection for Internet access, you can limit this security risk by disconnecting from the Internet when your session is complete, or by turning off the cable or DSL modem. However, if you want to continue to take advantage of the 'always on' feature of cable and DSL connections or if you run extended dial-up sessions on the Internet, we recommend the following security measures be taken: Disable File Sharing on Your Personal Computer - File sharing is a feature of Windows that allows other computers to access your personal computer, even from across the Internet. 

Microsoft has provided instructions on how to disable file sharing in Windows Help (Click Start, Help, then choose the 'Index' tab and type "file sharing, disabling"). The recommendation is to disable file sharing. However, if you choose to retain this option for your particular environment, exercise due care and apply appropriate security measures. Install a Personal Firewall Install and frequently update a proven personal firewall product, such as Personal Firewall Plus Zone Alarm or Black Ice , that can be configured to prevent unauthorized access to your personal computer and keep it up-to-date. Get Computer Security Updates Ensure that you are using a legally licensed operating system. You may be able to improve the security of your system by getting updates to help correct issues that may make your computer vulnerable to virus or worm attacks. As such, you should diligently apply security patches as they become available. 

Find out more: Windows users: Microsoft Security 

Macintosh users: Apple Product Security 

If you have a wireless network, there are additional measures that should be taken to protect your Internet connection: Use encryption - Enable the highest level of encryption available for your router; newer wireless routers typically use Wi-Fi Protected Access (WPA), and older versions use Wired Equivalent Privacy (WEP). This will encrypt all data transferred between your personal computer and wireless router. In addition, devices without your encryption key cannot connect to your wireless router. Change your default password - All wireless routers are given a default administrator password by their manufacturers, so make sure to change this password to prevent unauthorized access to your wireless router. Change SSID (Service Set Identifier) - The SSID is the name of your wireless network. 

In order for a computer to connect to your wireless network, the SSID must be known. You should change the manufacturer's default SSID name to a unique name that will not be easily guessed, and has no direct connection to you or where you are located (e.g. don't use your last name or street address). Switch off SSID broadcasting - You can further secure your network by disabling SSID broadcasting, which will hide your network from outsiders. It would be very difficult for an outsider to access your network once you have changed your SSID and turned off broadcasting, as they would have to start guessing the name of your network to access it.

Hope this helps. Remember...
Yrs, The Wizard *With articles from Scotiabank

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

The Bathtub Test


It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor.

"A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

Do you think he's right?

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"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

DID YOU PASS, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?

Morals and More!

 Satire folks, remember!

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