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Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Just Checking....

... to see if you are at your computer. Yes you are!

Say What?

21 Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Incredible what they can do with an eggshell and a laser beam.


Try this. It's really cool


It only takes a minute, and it works for everyone. Pick up a calculator if you are not good at math.

1. Key in the first 3 digits of your phone number into a calculator (not the area code)
2. Multiply by 80
3. Add 1
4. Multiply by 250
5. Add the last four digits of your phone number (if the last four digits starts with zero, just use the last 3 digits)
6. Add the last four digits of your phone number again (if the last four digits starts with zero, just use the last 3 digits)
7. Subtract 250
8. Divide by 2.

This is your phone number!

Union Problems

Unions are killing this country, and here is a prime example. I don't know about other areas of the country, but a growing trend here is for people to be a little on the lazy side.

It is not that uncommon for as many as 14 to 18 Union People to just stand around and watch while only one person is doing the work.

As you can see in this photo, the situation is out of hand. I hope it's not happening in your area as much. Click here.


The U.N. conducted a worldwide survey with only one question:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a total failure. Africans didn't know what "food" meant. Eastern Europeans didn't know what "honest" meant. Western Europeans didn't know what "shortage" meant. The Chinese didn't know what "opinion" meant. Middle Easterners didn't know what "solution" meant. South Americans didn't know what "please" meant.

And the Americans didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant!


A Chinese couple, Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wong's have a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, white baby boy!

Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?" The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two Wong's don't make white, so I tink we will name him Sum Ting Wong.



A wife arrived home from a shopping trip and was shocked to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband called out ...

"Perhaps you should hear how all this came about... I was driving home on the highway when I saw this young woman looking tired and bedraggled. I brought her home and made her a meal from the roast beef you had forgotten about in the fridge. Shew as bare-footed so I gave her your good sandals which you never wore because they had gone out of style. She was cold so I gave her the sweater which I bought for you for your birthday but you never wore because the color didn't suit you. Her pants were torn, so I gave her a pair of your jeans, which were perfectly good, but too small for you now. Then just as she was about to leave, she asked, 'Is there ....anything else your wife doesn't use anymore ?'"


After having their eleventh child, a North Georgia Mountain couple decided that 11 was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem, but it was expensive.

"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in the North Georgia Mountains), light it, put it in an empty beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

The redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor. So the hillbilly went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.

He held the can up to his ear and began to count, "1, 2,3, 4, 5..."

At this point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Kentucky, West Virginia, Tennessee, Arkansas, Louisiana, and parts of Mississippi


Catholics say "Too Much Sugar!" - No to Maoam Candy Porn

Fruity sweet wrappers spark complaint

A Catholic college has complained about new Haribo sweet wrappers which it claims portray fruit in sexual positions.

Maoam Candy Porn "We are shocked at the shameless presentation of sexual practices on the wrapping, which includes not only sexual intercourse but also fellatio and cunnilingus," wrote the St Blasien Jesuit College near Bonn.

The letter, complaining about the new packaging of Haribo's Moaom fruit chews, added: "It's irresponsible, to expose children to such pornographic representations."

The sweets wrapped in bright yellow, red and green colours show lemons, limes, strawberries, cherries and oranges playfully romping with each other.

But the college sees it differently. They were especially opposed to the lemon flavoured chews, which "undoubtedly show a green figure having sex with a lemon.

"The lemon, which from the drawing looks female, is obviously enjoying it with the greatest of pleasure."

Haribo bosses admit the new packaging is "very racy", but said in tests no complaints had been raised.

Spokesman Marco Alfter said: "The new wrapping is certainly fruitier than the old. But we have not had any other complaints. In fact until now the feedback has all been positive."

Martha vs. Maxine

Martha's Way - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Maxine's Way - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

Martha's Way - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Maxine's Way - Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's Way - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Maxine's Way - Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's Way - If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Maxine's Way - If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

Martha's Way - Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Maxine's Way - Celery? Never heard of it!

Martha's Way - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Maxine's Way - The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

Martha's Way - Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Maxine's Way - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

Martha's Way - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Maxine's Way - Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Martha's Way - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Maxine's Way - Leftover wine???? HELL-LLOOO!!!

New Drug Released!!

The Check-up

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.

"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "the sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve.

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc., she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.

That is a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right.. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?" "Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull; all the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see....where did I put that useless boob?"

Now, doesn't THAT make more sense than that story about the rib?

Sunday, July 29, 2007

New Rules For 2007 and 2008

Ban this ad!New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them!? Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days--mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavoured water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavoured water is called a soft drink. You want flavoured water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavoured water.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my MARS bar.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport . It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait!? They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, "Do you want fries with that?"

*Thanks, Andy

Phelps Thwarted In Bid To Erect Anti-Gay Statue In Matthew Shepard Hometown

Phelps(Casper, Wyoming) The City of Casper, Wyoming has rejected an offer from anti-gay preacher Fred Phelps to erect a statue dedicated to Matthew Shepard.

Phelps, who runs the God Hates Fags website,(www.godhatesfags.com) first gained national attention when he and his followers demonstrated at the funeral of Matthew Shepard in Casper in 1998.

Shepard was murdered in a homophobic attack by two men.

Phelps offered to build the statue in Casper's Monument Plaza which was dedicated earlier this month. The park features monuments to Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, the Magna Carta, the Mayflower Compact, the Ten Commandments and the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution.

Phelps' proposed a monument that would have been 5 to 6 feet tall and made of marble or granite. It would have had a bronze plaque bearing the image of Shepard and have an inscription reading "MATTHEW SHEPARD, Entered Hell October 12, 1998, in Defiance of God's Warning: 'Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind; it is abomination.' Leviticus 18:22."

"Casper's historic monument plaza is a collection of documents that are the underpinning and foundation of our law," Mayor Kate Sarosy wrote in a reply to Phelps.

"Your monument is simply religious in character, based on your personal religious beliefs regarding Matthew Shepard, and bears no historical significance to the foundation of the law for our country. As such, the city cannot place your monument on city property without violating the establishment clause of the United States Constitution."

Phelps attempted to get the city to approve a similar statue in 2003 and also was rejected.

Phelps and his followers have not ruled out taking the city to court.

The city's rebuff is the second setback this month for Phelps and his Topeka Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church.

On July 6, his daughter was been formally charged with negligent child abuse, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, flag mutilation and disturbing the peace over an anti-gay protest at the funeral of a soldier last month in Bellevue, Nebraska.

The charges against Shirley Phelps-Roper, 49, stem from a June incident involving her 10-year-old son who stomped on an American flag during a protest at the funeral of a National Guardsman killed in Iraq.

Phelps-Roper and about a dozen other members of the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas carried signs denouncing homosexuality and stating that military deaths in Iraq were God's retribution for America being permissive of gays.

A 1977 Nebraska law prohibits trampling a flag. The protestors brought their own flags to the demonstration.

At the time of her arrest a police officer said that Phelps-Roper put one flag around her waist.

"The second one was given to a 10-year-old, who put it on the ground and started kicking it in the area they were protesting," Officer Joe Gray said.

Westboro Baptist has 70 members, made up mostly of Phelps' relatives. Although it professes to be Baptist it is not affiliated with any national Baptist group.

Church members routinely demonstrate at the funerals of AIDS victims and most recently at the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq.

Westboro Baptist's picketing of soldiers' funerals led Congress and 34 states, including Kansas, to enact laws attempting to restrict such protests. It regularly protests at gay and HIV/AIDS events.

In May, members of the church protested at the funeral of evangelist Jerry Falwell.

About a dozen members of the church carried placards accusing Falwell of being in league with gays and of cozying up to Israel.


Questions to ponder...

Think about these 2 questions. Think hard. Then write your answers in the comments section.

What is the meaning of life? Why is the sky blue?

Yo Momma!

Yo momma so nasty, she went to Red Lobster and they threw her out for bringing her own crabs!

Billy Ray Cyrus Sees Stars

Billy Ray CyrusIf there's a Renaissance man in these opening years of the 21st century, Billy Ray Cyrus has got to be it. In addition to his award-winning career as a country music artist, he costars with his daughter, Miley, on Disney Channel's series "Hannah Montana" -- and now he's shown America his dancing chops as well, with a stint on ABC TV's "Dancing with the Stars."

Billy Ray's "Dancing" run is over, but there's still plenty in his life to keep him on his toes. He and Miley are in the midst of shooting a new season of "Hannah," and they both have new albums hitting the store shelves. Billy Ray's latest endeavor is entitled "Home at Last" -- it's a savory mix of original songs and favorite standards like the lovely "Brown-Eyed Girl."

One track particularly close to Billy Ray's heart is "Ready, Set, Don't Go," a paean to his daughter. He explains that it's "a song that I wrote about Miley and the family as they drove out of our Tennessee home, moving to California to begin the series 'Hannah Montana.'" He continues, "It was that moment every daddy goes through when they realize their little girl's growing up and it's time for her to spread her wings. She might be leaving for college or getting married, but as much as you want to keep her protected, you know you've got to let her take that chance. It doesn't matter if you're mama and daddy or mamaw and papaw [grandparents] -- that moment's heart-wrenching and beautiful all at the same time."

On top of the new album, the upcoming tour, and the television show, Billy Ray is making time to do just a little more dancing -- with some lucky fan. The winner will travel to Los Angeles, attend a "Dancing with the Stars" taping and the "Hannah Montana" set, have lunch with Billy Ray, and -- as the grand finale -- the winner will have the opportunity to dance with Billy Ray. If you've got an itch to cut the rug (or just to meet the guy) this is quite literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

With so many irons in the fire, however, Billy Ray never loses sight of what he truly loves -- music and his family. One of the great advantages of working with Disney, he says, is the chance to combine the two -- as he will be doing to support "Home at Last."

"I'm gonna be doing some touring. As a matter of fact, I love going out Billy Ray Cyruswith the band, I love seeing the fans and meeting the kids and the family. That's one thing about our concerts now -- the entire family is there, which seems like what Disney's always represented. Whether it's a movie or a TV show, it seems like it's always meant for the whole family and that's what our concerts are now. I see the kids, I see the mom and dad, I see the mama and papa, and it's a lot of fun to look out there and see 'em all singing along and loving each other and dancing together and just having a good time."

"It will always be my passion, making music. It's also very therapeutic for me to make music. I've always loved to sing and perform in front of people and entertain. I always wanted to be known as an entertainer, a singer, and a songwriter. Being an actor never was in the equation, but somehow I kind of get to do it all now," he says. "I feel very fortunate and lucky. I love being who I am and doing what I do, and I love the music that I'm making and I love the show that I'm acting in and getting to work with Miley, it's ... to borrow a line of hers, it's the best of both worlds. And I love doing what I'm doing now, which is really best reflected in the title of this album. People have asked 'why is the album called "Home at Last,"' and it's because that's what this feels like in this time period of my life. I'm home at last."

*Disney Insider

Do you know your Theology?

Who was the 3rd man in history to walk on water?


The 1st one was Jesus .


The 2nd was the apostle Peter.


Then there was this guy Jose...


Jose - the 3rd man to walk on water

*Thanks, Allen

"If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you!"

Bridge buyer hopes to dance on landmark bridge - Orville Middleton plans remake of Borden Bridge into dance hall

Borden BridgeBORDEN -SK- For most people, bridges are for crossing.

For Orville Middleton, they're for dancing.

The 85-year-old entrepreneur, who recently bought the Borden Bridge over the North Saskatchewan River 30 kilometres west of Saskatoon, says he wants to turn it into an open-air dance hall.

"I like to dance," says the longtime Saskatoon resident. "People come from Borden, Prince Albert and all over the place to dance in Saskatoon, so why wouldn't people in Saskatoon come out here to go dancing?"

When asked why he bought a bridge instead of a hall, Middleton simply shrugs and says, "Because it was here."

He plans to build walls, a roof and a hardwood floor for dancing, and hopes to start pre-fabrication by the winter.

It's a different concept, Middleton admits, but one that's earned him a lot of compliments from Borden residents, who worried their beloved bow-string arch bridge -- the longest of its kind in North America when it was constructed in 1937 -- might meet its end with a little help from some government dynamite.

"What else could you have done except blow it up?" asks Helen Sutherland, a Borden resident since 1948. "It's our landmark. It's part of our heritage, so I think most people here are grateful that it's still going to be around."

Borden Mayor John Rawlyck said the bridge is a source of pride for the town because of its unique architecture.

"It's got sentimental value because it provided a lot of work for people in the area when it was under construction," he said.

Construction on the bridge began in late 1935 during the height of the Depression as part of a government make-work project for unemployed farm and city workers. In fact, the Liberal government at the time decided to use the bow-string arch design, in part because the more difficult construction techniques would mean the workers would be employed longer. Where only a ferry existed to take traffic across the river a few years earlier, the new bridge quickly became an essential part in the development of towns and industries northwest of Saskatoon.

Unfortunately, it wasn't the safest bridge. Drivers often complained theBorden Bridge 250-metre-long structure was too narrow to accommodate smooth two-way traffic, and the bridge was often blamed as the cause of traffic accidents and at least 20 fatalities. By 1982, 3,000 cars a day were using the bridge. The Borden Bridge officially closed in 1985 and a new one opened right beside it.

"The bridge was essentially a structure we no longer required," said Doug Wakabayashi, director of communications for Saskatchewan Highways and Transportation. "So if someone else can make use of it, that's fine with us."

Wakabayashi says an inspection of the bridge to ensure it is still structurally sound is a condition of the sale, but that has yet to be done.

"We don't typically inspect structures we don't use," he said.

The government put the bridge up for sale on June 23 and received two offers. Middleton's $33,000 bid was the highest and, on July 16, Middleton became the proud owner of one of Saskatchewan's oldest concrete bridges.

"I think I was lucky to get it," he says.

Middleton is surprisingly optimistic for someone who just bought a bridge. But then he's used to taking risks.

After serving in the Air Force for both the Canadian and American military during the Second World War, Middleton took his first business risk and opened a roller skating rink in his hometown of Kelowna. It was there that he met is wife, Jean, "sitting in the middle of the rink."

"She had just fallen down so I went over, picked her up, and skated her around."

In 1962, Middleton bought some trucks and came east to Saskatoon to work on the Gardiner Dam project. He ended up hauling most of the concrete used in the project. Soon after, he opened Saskatoon's first coin-operated car wash. Then he built a self-serve garage, where people could perform their own oil changes.

After seeing the huge amounts of oil collecting at the garage, Middleton began to think about a way to recycle it. So, in 1977, he built a refinery near Martensville called Magnum Oil Company to recycle used engine oil. He sold the company in 1997 and has been looking for new business ventures ever since. When Jean died three years ago, Middleton says he contemplated retirement, but soon realized it was something he couldn't do.

Middleton says he's received some suggestions for the bridge, including using it as a billboard for drivers passing by on Highway 16, a motel and a trailer park. Someone even suggested installing a bungee-jumping platform. But it's a dance hall Middleton has his heart set on. He still dances every week in Saskatoon and says his favourite dance is the jive.

He says he pictures people holding family reunions and wedding receptions on the bridge.

"How neat would it be for couples to say, 'We got married on the Borden Bridge?' "

Bridge in Brief

- Built between 1935 and 1937 by R. J. Arrand Company of Saskatoon

- Designed by Bev Evans for his master's thesis while a graduate student at the University of Saskatchewan

- At 250 metres long, the bridge was the longest bow-string arch bridge in North America at construction

- Labourers were paid 35 cents an hour during construction, and 50 cents if they brought a horse

- $33,000: The price Orville Middleton paid for the bridge.

*Kenyon Wallace, with files from Darlene Polachic,
The StarPhoenix

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Amateur scholar claims Leonardo painting reveals mysterious figures

Slavisa Pesci MILAN, Italy - (UP) A new theory that Leonardo’s “Last Supper” might hide within it a depiction of Christ blessing the bread and wine has triggered so much interest that Web sites connected to the picture have crashed.

The famous fresco is already the focus of mythical speculation after author Dan Brown based his “The Da Vinci Code” book around the painting, arguing in the novel that Jesus married his follower, Mary Magdelene, and fathered a child.

Now Slavisa Pesci, an information technologist and amateur scholar, says superimposing the “Last Supper” with its mirror-image throws up another picture containing a figure who looks like a Templar knight and another holding a small baby.

“I came across it by accident, from some of the details you can infer that we are not talking about chance but about a precise calculation,” Pesci told journalists when he unveiled the theory earlier this week.

Web sites www.leonardodavinci.tv, www.codicedavinci.tv, www.cenacolo.biz and www.leonardo2007.com had 15 million hits on Thursday morning alone, organizers said, adding they were trying to provide a more powerful server for the sites.

In the superimposed version, a figure on Christ’s left appears to be cradling a baby in its arms, Pesci said, but he made no suggestion this could be Christ’s child.

The Last Supper - Click here for a larger picture
Click on it for a larger picture

Judas, whose imminent betrayal of Christ is the force breaking the right-hand line of the original fresco, appears in an empty space on the left in the reverse image version. And Pesci also suggests that the superimposed version shows a goblet before Christ and illustrates when Christ blessed bread and wine at a supper with his disciples for the first Eucharist.

The original Da Vinci depicts Christ when he predicts that one among them will betray him.

FU-GO this-a-way ...I-GO that-a-way...

Jesse James died from a shot in the back while playing cards.

He died in 1882 from a shot in the back of the head, and he wasn’t playing cards at the time. He was at home adjusting a picture on the wall when he was shot and killed. Jesse James and his brother Frank James were the leaders of the notorious James Gang, outlaws of the Wild West. In 1881, the governor of Missouri put out a $10,000 reward for the capture of the James brothers, dead or alive. Robert Ford, a member of the James Gang, killed Jesse so he could claim that money. Frank James turned himself in not long after Jesse’s death, and though he was tried for murder and armed robbery, he was found not guilty and released.

Jesse James

The Concord grape was developed in Concord, New Hampshire.

It was developed in Concord, Massachusetts, in 1849. A man named Ephraim Wales Bull conducted 22,000 crossbreeding experiments during a 10-year period before achieving the Concord grape. In 1869, Dr. Thomas Welch, a New Jersey dentist, took 40 pounds of Concord grapes and, with his wife and son, used them to make and preserve the first unfermented grape juice. The family eventually established the grape juice company that would come to be named Welch’s.


Barry Manilow wrote the song “Mandy” for his pet golden retriever.

Barry Manilow didn’t write “Mandy” for a golden retriever. In fact, he didn’t write the song at all. “Mandy” was written by Richard Kerr and Scott English and was originally titled “Brandy.” The song was Manilow’s first number-one hit when it was released in 1975, and it stayed on the charts for 12 weeks. (Here’s a song that was written for a dog: “Martha My Dear,” written by Paul McCartney for his sheepdog, Martha.)

Barry Manilow

Break dancing started in the 1960s.

This style of dancing started on the streets of New York in 1969. Afrika Bambaata brought boom boxes to poor neighborhoods and encouraged kids to dance as an alternative to drugs and crime. Bambaata eventually founded Zulu Nation: a group of dancers, DJs, graffiti artists, and others. A 1984 film called Beat Street, produced by Harry Belafonte, featured the musical styles created by Zulu Nation.

Afrika Bambaata

The Japanese bombed Canada during World War II.

The Japanese sent 9,300 balloon bombs floating across the Pacific Ocean during World War II. Though probably fewer than 1,000 balloons made it all the way across the Pacific, several did cause damage when they exploded into fiery balls in places like Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, North and South Dakota, and Canada. Called FU-GO by the Japanese, the balloons carried bombs that were mostly intended to start forest fires. In general, the incidents were not reported in newspapers, because the United States didn’t want Japan to know whether their plan had been successful.


The Wiz On The Street

Weekly World News, home to columnist Ed Anger and exclusive coverage of Bat Boy, will cease publication as of August 3. So the Wizard hit the streets again, asking, "What do you think?"

Caroline Adamson Caroline Adamson,
Systems Analyst
"Without their insightful reporting, how are we supposed to make sense of the increasing number of heads appearing on our nation's newborns?"

Bob HarveyBob Harvey,
Custom Detailer
"Ed Anger must be madder than a dime-a-dance broad at a wheelchair convention at this news."

Andy PewAndy Pew,
Food Cart Vendor
"Since The Globe broke the story, I have my doubts that it's true."

*American Voices, The Onion

The 411 - Full moon

Full Moon
Full moon is a lunar phase that occurs when the Moon is on the opposite side of the Earth from the Sun, and when the three celestial bodies are aligned as close as possible to a straight line. At this time, as seen by viewers on Earth, the hemisphere of the Moon that is facing the Earth (the near side) is fully illuminated by the Sun and appears round. Only during a full moon is the opposite hemisphere of the Moon, which is not visible from Earth

(the far side), completely unilluminated.

Although it takes only 27.322 days on average for the Moon to complete one orbit around the Earth (the sidereal month), as a result of the Earth's orbital motion around the Sun it requires about two additional days for the Earth, Moon, and Sun to acquire the same relative geometry. So on average the number of days between two similar phases (e.g. between one full moon and the next full moon) is about 29.531 days. This period is referred to as a lunation, lunar month, or synodic month. The actual number of days in a lunation can vary from about 29.272 to 29.833 because the velocities of the Moon and of the Earth are not constant in their elliptic orbits, and because of gravitational interactions with other bodies in the solar system.

Because the month of February has only 28 days (or 29 in a leap year), there have been a few occasions during which this month has been without a full moon. In particular, there was no full moon in February of 1866, 1885, 1915, 1934, 1961 or 1999. There will be no full moon during February of 2018[3]. In these years, there were instead either two full moons in January, March, or both (as in 1999). In the leap year of 1972, there was a full moon on February 29. The previous February 29 full moon occurred in 1820 and before that in 1752.

The date and time of a specific full moon (assuming a circular orbit) can be calculated from the equation:

D = 20.362954 + 29.5305888531 × N + 102.19 × 10-12 × N 2 ...

where D is the number of days since 1 January 2000 00:00:00 UTC, and N is an integer number of full moons, starting with 0 for the first full moon of the year 2000. The true time of a full moon may differ from this approximation by up to about 14.5 hours as a result of the noncircularity of the Moon's orbit. The age and apparent size of the full moon vary in a cycle of just under 14 synodic months, which has been referred to as a full moon cycle.

Full moons are generally a poor time to conduct astronomical observations, since the bright reflected sunlight from the Moon overwhelms the dimmer light from stars.

A full moon is the only time when a lunar eclipse is possible. At this time, it is possible under certain circumstances for the Moon to move through the shadow cast by the Earth. However, because of an approximately 5° tilt of the orbital plane of the Moon with respect to the orbital plane of the Earth (the ecliptic), the Moon usually passes to the north or south of Earth's shadow during a full moon.

Full Moons are traditionally associated with temporal insomnia, insanity (hence the terms lunacy and lunatic) and various magical phenomena such as lycanthropy. Psychologists, however, have found that there is no strong evidence for effects on human behaviour around the time of a full moon. They find that studies are generally Full Moon over lakenot consistent, with some showing a positive effect and others showing a negative effect. In one instance, the December 23, 2000 issue of the British Medical Journal published two studies on dog bite admission to hospitals in England and Australia. The study of the Bradford Royal Infirmary found that dog bites were twice as common during a full moon, whereas the study conducted by the public hospitals in Australia found that they were less likely. Psychologists point out that there is a difference between correlation and causation. The mere fact that two events happen at the same time doesn't mean that there is a cause and effect relationship between the two.

Many neopagans hold a monthly ritual called an Esbat at each full moon, while some people practicing traditional Chinese religions prepare their ritual offerings to their ancestors and deities on every full and new moon.

The Hindu, Thai, Hebrew, Islamic, Tibetan, Neopagan, Celtic, and the traditional Chinese calendars are all based on the phases of the Moon. None of these calendars, however, begin their months with the full moon. In the Chinese, Jewish, Thai and some Hindu calendars, the full moon always occurs in the middle of a month.

In the Gregorian calendar, the date of Easter is the first Sunday after the ecclesiastical full moon which occurs after the ecclesiastical vernal equinox. In this context, the date of the full moon (together with the date of the vernal equinox) is calculated not according to actual astronomical phenomena, but according to a calendrical approximation of these phenomena.

In the Chinese calendar, the Mid-Autumn Festival falls on the full moon of the eighth month, whereas the Lantern Festival falls on the first full moon of the year.

It is traditional to assign special names to each full moon of the year, although the rule for determining which name will be assigned has changed over time (see article at blue moon). An ancient method of assigning names is based upon seasons and quarters of the year. For instance, the Egg Moon (the Full Moon before Easter) would be the first moon after March 21st, and the Lenten Moon would be the last moon on or before March 21st. Modern practice, however, is to assign the traditional names based on the Gregorian calendar month in which the full moon falls. This method frequently results in the same name as the older method would, and is far more convenient to use.

The origin of the folkloric term "blue moon" is complicated, because its meaning has changed over time. Modern practice is to name a full moon a blue moon if it is the second of two full moons to occur in the same calendar month. The original meaning of blue moon was the third full moon in a season when there were four full moons in that season.

The full moon has been linked to crime, suicide, mental illness, disasters, accidents, birthrates, fertility, and werewolves, among other things. Some people even buy and sell stocks according to phases of the moon, a method probably as successful as many others. Numerous studies have tried to find lunar effects. So far, the studies have failed to establish much of interest. Lunar effects that have been found have little or nothing to do with human behavior, e.g., the discovery of a slight effect of the moon on global temperature,* which in turn might have an effect on the growth of plants. Of course, there have been single studies here and there that have found correlations between various phases of the moon and this or that phenomenon, but nothing significant has been replicated sufficiently to warrant claiming a probable causal relationship.

Ivan Kelly, James Rotton and Roger Culver (1996) examined over 100 studies on lunar effects and concluded that the studies have failed to show a reliable and significant correlation (i.e., one not likely due to chance) between the full moon, or any other phase of the moon

If so many studies have failed to prove a significant correlation between the full moon and anything, why do so many people believe in these lunar myths? Kelly, Rotton, and Culver suspect four factors: media effects, folklore and tradition, misconceptions, and cognitive biases. A fifth factor should be considered, as well: communal reinforcement.

*From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia