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Tuesday, June 30, 2020

a wise muppet, he is hrrr hrrr hrrr!

a wise muppet, he is hrrr hrrr hrrr!

10 Truly Bizzare Scientific Studies


Where would the world be without scientific studies? I think most would agree that some can be very informative, some not so informative and others are just plain silly and a waste of money. The studies on this list are all rather unusual in nature, hopefully entertaining and each study was sourced at least twice on different websites. Some here I believe do have some merit while others will fall into the questionable category and the results may need to be taken with a grain of salt. The reason I have selected so many sexually oriented studies for this list is unknown and is perhaps worthy of another study. Click below to read about them.

Big Hands, Big Feet, Big…

Top 10 WTF? U.S. Sex Laws

Top 10 WTF? U.S. Sex Laws
Love the Porcupine one...

Mad Cow

DEFINITELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK! CONTAINS MULTIPLE INSTANCES OF THE "F" WORD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Click here

Click above. (Flash Movie)

Good Point!!!


Happiness keeps You Sweet,

Trials keep You Strong,

Sorrows keep You Human,

Failures keep You Humble,

Success keeps You Glowing,

But Only God keeps You Going!

You are so special!

IF "GOD" EXISTS

"GOD" ALLOWS EVIL
"GOD" IS POWERLESS
"GOD" IS A SADIST
"GOD" IS BLIND
"GOD" IS UNFEELING


HE/SHE IS NOT MY "GOD"

MY GODDESS AND GOD KNOW THE LIMITS OF THEIR POWER...

THEY CANNOT HELP, NOR DO I EXPECT THAT FROM THEM.

MY GODDESS/GOD HAVE NEVER PROMISED THAT WHICH THEY CANNOT DELIVER.

MY GODDESS/GOD HAVE NOT LIED TO ME.

I WAS TAUGHT THE 'OTHER' "GOD" IS GOOD.
HE/SHE IS NOT...
CANNOT
DOES NOT
EXIST...

PFFT!

Carl Reiner, 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' Creator and Hollywood Legend, Dead at 98

R.I.P.
Getty images

Monday, June 29, 2020

That's My Boy!

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him.

Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Ole Blue how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.

"So how's Ole Blue doing, son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, dad, he's talking ! up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class. "

His father sends the money.

The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog.

When he gets home, his father is all excited. "Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Ole Blue was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?'

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy"

23 and 1/2 hours: What is the single best thing we can do for our health?

Proof that the Irish discovered Africa

Dad... Mom...

Dad...Mom..I'm gay

ubuntu

10 Things To Be Grateful For

Sunday, June 28, 2020

This is true...

#BLM

Not real. just like it

Tru Dat

How to say goodbye in Saskatchewan...

Clock Face = 12!

I was 57 years old when I found this out. Each number on one side added to the corresponding number on the other side always adds up to 12! Subtracting these same numbers = 6. 12-6, 11-5, 10-4, 9-3, 8-2, 7-1, 6-0...

11-1, 10-2, 9-3, 8-4, 7-5, 12 is 12 and 6 added to 6 is 12.

--->From Reditt: There's nothing special going on. You're just adding and subtracting 1 each iteration. This would work for any arbitrary n number of clock positions. 1 + (n-1), 2 + (n-2), 3 + (n-3), etc. So this is merely a consequence of how you've chosen to interpret opposing numbers.<--

Friday, June 26, 2020

Word Facts

Cabbaged and fabaceae, each eight letters long, are the longest words that can be played on a musical instrument. Seven letter words with this property include acceded, baggage, bedface, cabbage, defaced, and effaced.

Aegilops, eight letters long, is the longest word whose letters are arranged in alphabetical order. Seven letter words with this property include beefily and billowy. Six letter words include abhors, accent, access, almost, biopsy, bijoux, billow, chintz, effort, and ghosty.

Spoonfeed, nine letters long, is the longest word whose letters are arranged in reverse alphabetical order. Trollied is an eight letter word with this property. Seven letter words with this property include sponged and wronged.

Cimicic and Cimicid, each seven letters long, are the longest words that are exclusively made up of Roman Numerals.

Nonsupports, eleven letters long, is the longest word in the English language made up of only letters in the second half of the alphabet. Ten letter words include prosupport, soupspoons, and zoosporous.

Overnumerousnesses, eighteen letters long, is the longest English word that consists of only letters that lack ascenders, descenders, and dots in lower case. Overnervousnesses is seventeen letters. Sixteen letter words with this property include curvaceousnesses and overnumerousness. Fifteen letter words with this property include erroneousnesses, nonconcurrences, overnervousness, and verrucosenesses.

Lighttight and lillypilly, each ten letters long, are the longest English words consisting only of letters with ascenders, descenders, or dots in lower case.

Tittifill, nine letters long, is the longest English word consisting only of letters with ascenders or dots in lower case. Eight letter words with this property include libidibi and tikitiki.

The only English words that consist entirely of letters with descenders in lower case are gyp and gyppy.

Honorificabilitudinitatibus, 27 letters long, is the longest English word consisting strictly of alterating consonants and vowels. An eighteen letter word with this property is epicoracohumeraler. A seventeen letter word with this property is hypovitaminosises. Sixteen letter words with this property include aluminosilicates, depolarizability, and supererogatorily. Fifteen letter words with this property include cytomegalovirus, heterozygosises, hexosaminidases, paramyxoviruses, pararosanilines, parasitological, tenosynovitides, tenosynovitises, unimaginatively, and verisimilitudes.

The Rot13 method of encrypting text is performed by rotating the alphabet by thirteen characters. Because there are 26 letters in the alphabet, the decryption process is the same as the encryption. The longest words to form other words when Rot13 encrypted are the seven letter words abjurer and nowhere, which become each other.

*Fun with words

The Shortest Story EVER!

“Knock”

by Fredric Brown...

The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.

Disappearing Car Door

Driving a car with disappearing doors will definitely grab everyone's attention.

Why don't you do that online?

I had spent an hour in the bank with my dad, as he had to transfer some money. I couldn't resist myself & asked...

"Why would I do that?" He asked...
"Well, then you wont have to spend an hour here for things like transfer. You can even do your shopping online. Everything will be so easy!"

I was so excited about initiating him into the world of Net banking.

He asked "If I do that, I wont have to step out of the house?"
"Yes, yes!" I said. I told him how even grocery can be delivered at door now and how amazon delivers everything!

His answer left me tongue-tied.

He said "Since I entered this bank today, I have met four of my friends, I have chatted a while with the staff who know me very well by now. You know I am alone...this is the company that I need. I like to get ready and come to the bank. I have enough time, it is the physical touch that I crave. Two years back I got sick, The store owner from whom I buy fruits, came to see me and sat by my bedside and cried. When your Mom fell down few days back while on her morning walk. Our local grocer saw her and immediately got his car to rush her home as he knows where I live.

Would I have that 'human' touch if everything became online? Why would I want everything delivered to me and force me to interact with just my computer?
I like to know the person that I'm dealing with and not just the 'seller'. It creates bonds of Relationships. Does Amazon deliver all this as well?"

Technology isn't life..
Spend time with people .. Not with devices.

Stonewall Day

The Stonewall riots were a series of spontaneous, violent demonstrations by members of the gay community in response to a police raid that began in the early morning hours of June 28, 1969, at the Stonewall Inn in the Greenwich Village neighborhood of Manhattan, New York City.

Click here for more.

Mom is Working

9 Warning Signs You're Mentally and Emotionally Exhausted

Thursday, June 25, 2020

Want some ice cream?

Giggles, Gaffaws and Groaners...

A man goes to the police station wanting to speak to the burglar who broke into his house the night before. ‘You’ll get your chance in court,’ says the desk sergeant.

‘No, no, no! says the man. ‘I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!’



Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn’t drive.

No further testing is planned.



During a terrible storm, all the highway signs were covered with snow. The following spring, the state decided to raise all the signs twelve inches at a cost of six million dollars. “That’s an outrageous price!” said a local farmer, “but I guess we’re lucky the state handled it instead of the federal government.” “Why’s that?”

“Because knowing the federal government, they’d decided to lower the highways.”



Jay went to a psychiatrist. “Doc, he said, “I’ve got trouble.

Every time I get into bed I think there is somebody under it.

I get under the bed; I think there’s somebody on top of it.

Top, under, under top. I’m going crazy!”

“Just put yourself in my hands for two years,” said the shrink.

“Come to me three times a week and I’ll cure you.”

“How much do you charge?”

“A hundred dollars per visit.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Jay never went back. Some time later he met the doctor on the street.

“Why didn’t you ever come to see me again? Asked the psychiatrist.

“For a hundred buck a visit? A bartender cured me for 10 dollars.”

“Is that so! How?”

“He told me to cut the legs off the bed.”

HYUK!

Mrs. Swanson declined to serve on the jury because she was not a believer in capital punishment and didn’t want her beliefs to get in the way of the trial.

“But, Madam,” said the public defender, who had taken a liking to her kind face and calm demeanor, “this is not a murder trial. It is merely a civil lawsuit being brought by a wife against her husband. He gambled away the fifteen thousand dollars he’d promised to spend on a chinchilla coat for her birthday.”

“Hmmm,” reflected Mrs. Swanson. “Okay, I’ll serve, I could be wrong about capital punishment.”



Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. “I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks.”

“But I could be dead by then!”

“No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment.”

HYUK!

A young man just had his first customer, which turned out to be a BIG BURLY truck driver.

The young man walked up to the table where the truck driver was sitting and asked; can I take your order sir?

The truck driver replied, sure kid I want three flat tires and two headlights.

The young man was very puzzled and said, I beg your pardon?

The truck driver said again, look kid; I want three flat tires and two headlights.

The young man was still puzzled, but replied; yes sir, whatever. The young man then took the request to his boss who was the head cook. He told him about the truck driver's order, and that he wanted three flat tires and two headlights, “I think he's in the wrong place.”

The head cook said, I know what he wants, he wants three flap jacks and two eggs sunny side up; the truck driver is just trying to be smart, I know him. The cook said to the waiter here, take this bowl of beans, give it to him and say this.

The truck driver said, Listen kid, I didn't order this; I said I wanted three flat tires and two headlights.

The waiter replied, Well sir, the head cook said while you wait for your parts, you can gas up!

Life is short...

Life is shoprt...

What Is It?

Modern Art, Maybe... But I Can Still Figure This One Out!

The Original Apple Computer...

Squirrel Tales - A MUST READ!

"Finnegan" the squirrel


For about as long as she can remember, Debby Cantlon says, friends and strangers have brought her animals in need. So it wasn't much of a surprise when someone asked her if she'd care for a newborn squirrel found at the base of a tree somewhere near Renton.

Debby Cantlon, who plans to release Finnegan, the young squirrel, back into the wild, bottle-fed the infant squirrel after it was brought to her house. Cantlon, who has cancer, says rescuing injured animals is therapeutic for her.

When Cantlon took in the tiny creature and began caring for him, she found herself with an unlikely nurse's aide: her pregnant Papillon, Mademoiselle Giselle.

Finnegan was resting in a nest in a cage just days before Giselle was due to deliver her puppies.


Cantlon and her husband watched as the dog dragged the squirrel's cage - twice - to her own bedside before she gave birth.

Cantlon was concerned, yet ultimately decided to allow the squirrel out - and the inter-species bonding began.

Finnegan rides a puppy mosh pit of sorts, burrowing in for warmth after feeding, and eventually working his way beneath his new litter mates.


Two days after giving birth, mama dog Giselle allowed Finnegan to nurse; family photos and a videotape show her encouraging him to suckle alongside her litter of five pups.

Now, Finnegan mostly uses a bottle, but still snuggles with his "siblings" in a mosh pit of puppies, rolling atop their bodies and sinking in deeply for a nap.

Finnegan and his new litter mates, five Papillion puppies, get along together as if they were meant to.


Finnegan naps after feeding.

Finnegan makes himself at home with his new litter mates, nuzzling nose-to-nose for a nap after feeding.

Spot the difference

Say "Got It!" in the comments. Share by clicking on the envelope icon. Easy peasy! Give up? Ask the Wizard by emailing me .

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

The Brick

Read this today and don't forget to pass it on, even if you are too busy!! You'll see...

THE BRICK

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.

As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts.

A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message:


"Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"



God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!


Send this post to every "beautiful person" you wish to bless.

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.