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Saturday, December 17, 2005

"OZ" Trivia


The Wizard of OZ
A -3 parter!

What part of the Tim Man did Dorothy oil first?
What was the name of his farm-hand counterpart?
Who played him in the making of 1939 movie? (TRICK QUESTION!)

The Tinman

Click above for the answer

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

25 Signs Showing You Might Be Canadian


Canadian Pride

1. You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK".

2. You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine on the chesterfield."

3. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.

4. You drink Pop, not Soda.

5. You know that a Mickey and 24's mean, "party at the camp, eh!!!"

6. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars.

7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.

8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.

10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.

11. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.

12. You brag to Americans that; Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & Mike Myers are Canadians.

13. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!

14. You know what a toque is.

15. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

16. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed".

17. Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

18. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work.

19. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.

20. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

21. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan".

22. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'.

23. You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade.

24. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than, "Huh?"


25. You actually understand these jokes, and forward this post to all of your Canadian friends! Then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them!

*Thanks, Vil

Thursday, August 25, 2005

RECOGNIZING A STROKE - A true story


brain


Susie is recouping at an incredible pace for someone with a massive stroke all because Sherry saw Susie stumble - -that is the key that isn't mentioned below - and then she asked Susie the 3 questions. So simple - this literally saved Susie's life - - Suzie failed all three so 911 was called.

Even though she had normal blood pressure readings and did not appear to be having a stroke, as she could converse to some extent, the Paramedics took her to the hospital right away.

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify.

Unfortunately,the lack of awareness spells disaster.

The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

*Ask the individual to SMILE.
*Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
*Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE.
*And, if you have one, give them an aspirin right away.


If they have trouble with any of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.


After discovering that a group of non-medical volunteers could identify facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems, researchers urged the general public to learn the three questions.

They presented their conclusions at the American Stroke Association annual meeting last February. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage.

A cardiologist says if everyone who hears of this information , let's other people know, you can bet that at least one life will be saved. Who knows, one day maybe this information will help save your life.


*Thanks, Daryn!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Can You Spot The Differences?


Why U.S. Navy Seals are better than the Iraqi Navy Seals... click on each link

U.S.
 
IRAQI 

and then there's Canada's...What aboot Canada, eh?

CANADA

Yee Haaa!!

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Aerobics For Your Brain

Click here

Click above

You know you are addicted to coffee if ...


You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You channel surf faster without a remote.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You short out motion detectors.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
You ski uphill.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You answer the door before people knock.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

Don't Let Allergies Keep Your Child Inside This Summer


Don't Let Allergies Keep Your Child Inside This Summer (ARA) - "My favorite part of summer is when the whole neighborhood gets together to play a huge game of tag," exclaims 11-year-old Abigail Lafferty from Pennsylvania. "That and no school for three months!"

For kids - and their parents - who have waited months to get outside to play, warm and sunny days mean it's time for tee ball, skateboarding, swimming and tons of outdoor fun.
But for children who suffer from seasonal allergies, warmer weather can mean the onset of symptoms such as sneezing, itchy, watery eyes, runny nose and itchy throat.

"More than 6 million children suffer from seasonal allergies that can be triggered during outdoor physical activity," says nationally renowned pediatrician Dr. Jennifer Trachtenberg, who is a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

A mother of three and a clinical instructor at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York, Dr. Trachtenberg recommends giving your child an allergy medication that is designed for children, like Children's Benadryl(R) Allergy Fastmelt(R) tablets, which can help relieve allergy symptoms and get them back outside. The easy-to-use, rapidly dissolving tablets offer an effective, painless solution for getting your child to take his medication.

Allergies are not the only thing that can curtail summer fun. Dehydration, skinned knees, stinging insects and sunburn can also prevent your child from enjoying outdoor activities.

"Before you send your kids out to play, be sure to take a few common-sense precautions," says Dr. Trachtenberg.

Here are some summer outdoor safety tips for parents based not only on her years of practicing medicine, but also her experience as a mom to two young boys and a little girl.

1. Don't get burned - Apply sunscreen to children generously and let it soak in for 15 to 30 minutes before they go outside. Cover all exposed skin, including ears, nose and neck and apply an SPF 15 lip screen as well. Make sure to reapply every two hours, or more often if kids are sweating or swimming.

2. Beware of poisonous weeds - Know how to identify poison ivy, poison sumac and poison oak - all are plants that produce a sap that can cause a red, swollen rash or blisters. Poison ivy has bright green leaves consisting of three irregular leaflets. Small greenish flowers grow in bunches attached to the main stem. Poison oak also has three leaflets, but the lobes are much more deeply cut. Poison sumac has green flowers and loose clusters of white fruits.

3. Bee careful - Keep bees away by having kids avoid perfumed soaps, shampoos and deodorants and wearing light-colored clothes, which attract fewer bees than dark clothes. If a bee does land on your child, tell him to act like a statue - swatting at a bee can encourage it to sting. If your child gets stung, wash the area with soap and water and apply ice to reduce the swelling.

4. Stay hydrated - Make sure your kids drink adequate liquids before, during and after outdoor activities. Kids can get easily dehydrated when they spend a lot of time outdoors, so know the symptoms: thirst, weakness, headaches, dark-colored urine or a slight decrease in body weight.

5. Minor scrapes - When your child ends up with skinned knees or elbows, stop the bleeding with direct pressure, and remember to follow the 3C's: Clean the wound with a gentle soap and water; Coat with an antibiotic ointment to prevent infection and help reduce scarring; and Cover the wound with a sterile bandage to protect it from further injury.

Keeping these simple guidelines in mind will ensure that both kids and parents have a fun, relaxing summer.

For more information on seasonal allergy prevention or Children's Benadryl Allergy Fastmelt tablets, visit www.benadrylusa.com .


300,000 attend Gay Pride parade in Paris


300,000 attend Gay Pride parade in Paris
300,000 attend Gay Pride parade in Paris


Some 300,000 people attended the Gay Pride parade on Saturday afternoon in Paris, claiming adoption and marriage rights for homosexual couples.

"Couples and parents: equality now" is the theme of this year's Gay Pride. Alain Piriou, spokesman of the Inter-LGBT association, which is LGBT's main vehicle for speaking with the government for LGBT equal rights and which organizes the Gay

Pride parade, called the French government to change the law and to authorize marriage and adoption for homosexual couples.

Some dignitaries, including Paris Mayor Bertrand Delanoe and National secretary of the Green party Yann Wehrling, also called for legislation.

At 4:00 p.m. (local time), the parade stopped midway to keep three-minute silence dedicated to victims of AIDS.

Source: Xinhua

Monday, May 02, 2005

Kettle Math


Kettle Math

Click above for this great clip (wmv - ~2.5MB)

Brings back great memories!

Use your 'BACK' button to return to 'OZ'

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Personality Test

Personality Test - Click here

Click above

Top 4 Cheap Ways to Show Him You Care

You don't have to be a baller or have an affinity for bling to show your man you care. If your special someone is on your mind, don't wait for his birthday or an anniversary. Give him these cheap gifts and score enough points to last you a lifetime. 

1) Handwritten Letter The art of the handwritten letter is long gone. In the age of convenience and instant lazy access, writing a letter with an actual pen on paper is the most sincere way to show you care. He'll be impressed that you took the time to write (especially when you could have easily sent him an email). Want to sweeten the deal? Sray it with your favorite cologne and drop it in the mail. Chances are he only gets bills and junk in his box, so your good-smelling letter will be a pleasant surprise. 

2) Single Exotic Flower You don't have to wait for a special day or reason to give flowers. Flowers make any day special. Steer clear of the cheesy rose, though; and don't get him a dozen. Keep the mystery alive by choosing a single exotic flower. The more rare and beautiful, the better. Keep it in the flower shop paper and give it to him in a nonchalant manner (as if it's your first date). He may not respond to the gesture like a game show winner while you're around, but he'll tell his friends how sweet you are later. 

3) Video Phone Message Most newer cell phones are equipped with a video camera. Instead of filming endless reels of your puppy running in circles, be your own star. Record a private message just for him. Let your imagination be the creative director. Most wireless services charge to use this feature, but spending a few extra cents can get you cast in his own personal sequel. 

4) Mixed CD I've always been a fan of the mixed playlist. They're a great way to communicate any message. Why argue, say you're sorry or "I love you" when a CD can do it for you? Your compilation can be about sappy love, wild fun times or a tribute to Al Green. Who cares? He'll appreciate getting a good gift that keeps on giving. Want to save even more money? Get the blank CD from a friend.

* From Ramon Johnson, Your Guide to Gay Life. FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now

Parrot held in prison

Goes by the name

A parrot has spent five days under police 'interrogation' in prison in Argentina.

A judge ordered Pepo to be held in custody until he told police who was his real owner, reports UOL.

Two neighbours, Jorge Machado and R Vega, were disputing ownership of the bird.

Judge Osvaldo Carlos decided the parrot should be sent to prison until he said the name of his owner.

After five days, Pepo said Jorge's name and also sung the anthem of his favourite football team San Lorenzo.

Mr Machado said: "I knew he wasn't going to let me down, he is a real friend and we support the same football team."

Teen squirts milk through his eyes

An Indian teenager has become famous for his ability to take in milk through his nose and to squirt it out of his eyes. 

Praveen Kumar Sehrawat sucks milk up his nostrils and squirts it up to 12ft through his tear ducts, reports Asian News International. 

The feat has earned him a place in the Limca Book of Records, India's version of the Guinness Book of World Records.  

The 16-year-old wrestler, from Dariyapur Kalan, near Delhi, also holds the national record for eating 170 green chillies in 5 minutes 7 seconds. And he says he can hammer a nail into his nose without discomfort. His brother Ashok Kumar said: "He is an inspiration for many around the village. "Some people here are even trying stunts that were earlier unthinkable. I hope others will come forward to carry on his torch."

*Ananova

Colour Test


Colour Test

Got a clue? Check to see...

The average person only gets 7 right so use all lobes of your brain. This can be more difficult than it looks - it just shows how little most of us really see!


There are 25 questions about things we see every day or have known about all our lives. How many can you get right? These little simple questions are harder than you think. It just shows how little we pay attention to the commonplace things of life.

RULES: Put your thinking caps on. No cheating! No looking around! No getting out of your chair! No using anything on or in your desk or computer!

Can you beat 13? (The average is 7) Write down your answers and check answers (on the bottom) AFTER completing all the questions .

REMEMBER - NO CHEATING!!! It doesn't matter if you cheat, actually, because if you have to cheat, then you don't know the answer, so, you've already missed the question. BE HONEST!That means no looking at your phone or anything on your desk...


LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE. - If not, just have fun!


Here we go!


1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?

2. How many states are there in the USA? (Don't laugh, some people don't know.)

3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?

4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?

5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?

6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg? (Don't you dare get up to see!)

7. How many matches are in a standard pack?

8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?

9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial? (Don't look at that dial)!

10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise? (Get out of the bathroom!)

11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?

12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?

13. On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?

14. Which way do fans rotate?

15 How many sides does a stop sign have?

16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?

17 How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?

18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?

19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey & Doc. Who's missing?

20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?

21. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?

22. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?

23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?

24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?

25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?




ANSWERS

1. Bottom

2. 50

3. Right

4. Blue, red, white, yellow, black &gold

5. 1, 0

6. Right

7. 20

8. Red

9. 87.7

10. Clockwise (north of the equator)

11. From lower right to upper left

12. 12 (there is no #1)

13. Left

14. Clockwise as you look at it from the front. (unless they have a reverse switch).

15. 8

16. Left

17. 5

18. 6

19. Bashful

20. 8

21. Ace of spades

22. Left

23. * and #

24. 3

25. Counter

Philip Seymour Hoffman


Philip Seymour Hoffman (Los Angeles, California) For all who have followed Philip Seymour Hoffman’s film career, it has been an exciting journey. “Multiply that by one thousand, for me,” says Hoffman, recently, when I speak with him after his Oscar win for the mesmerizing and stunning portrayal of the late, effete and gay, Truman Capote - an icon in his era, for part of his life, at least. “Capote” was one of those small films - a film that cost next to nothing to make - that was so good, in every sense of the word, that it found an audience of film lovers and the Academy found it, nominating it for a plethora of Oscars, including Best Picture and Director. Hoffman’s win for Best Actor, however, is the real prize, because without Hoffman, there would have been no “Capote” on the big screen. --more--

Saturday, April 30, 2005

17 Bumper Stickers You Would Like To See...


Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.

Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"

The proctologist called...they found your head.

Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me,"

Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

If you can read this..I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

Hang up and drive!!

And The Number One Bumper Sticker you'd Like To See:

Welcome to Canada...now speak English, or French, or Scottish, or Ukrainian, or Hebrew, or German, or Dutch, or.. well... You get the picture...

*Thanks, Auntie 'M'

Thursday, April 28, 2005

CLASS PROJECT GONE WRONG


CLASS PROJECT GONE WRONG

*Thanks, Rimsky

What those words in your performance review really mean...

What those words in your performance review really mean... *Thanks, Andy

God Bless George ..

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." 

George thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George. 

The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"

*Thanks, Vil

Speedo - The next generation...


Speedo - The next generation...
Click on the picture for the larger version you can use as wallpaper.

*Thanks, Daryn

Churches in Las Vegas

This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas, but there are more Catholic churches there than casinos. Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed. Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to process these offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in. This is done by the chip monks. Didn't see it comin' did ya?

*Thanks, Andy

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Burning Drugs


Burning Drugs - click here

Click above for funny clip. (wmv - ~512 KB)

Use your 'BACK' button to return to 'OZ'


*Thanks, Daryn

The Perfect Dog!


The perfect dog

Marriage is...


Marriage is... *Thanks, Andy!

Mr Gisby's TOTALLY GAY PET SHOP


The home of The Brave

Click above. Use your back button to return to 'OZ'

Fairy Tale


Fairy Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased....

she did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, had all the hot water to herself, never had pubic hairs under the toilet seat lid, watched girlie movies, never had football on, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up your ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked good in sweat pants and shirt, and burped, swore, & farted all the time.


THE END


*Thanks, Andy!

One-Question IQ Test


Mute Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day...... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself? Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer... Arrow Blind man He opens his mouth and says. "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses" If you got this wrong - please turn off your computer and call it a day. I've got mine shutting down right now.

*Thanks, Ken

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Quiz Me!

At the end of this, you are asked a question. Answer it immediately. Don't stop and think about it. Just say the first thing that pops into your mind.

This is kind of spooky!

Do not go to the next calculation before you have finished the previous one. You do not need to write or remember the answers, just do it using your mind. You'll be surprised. Handle each calculation separately...


How much is . .
15 + 6
3 + 56
89 + 2
12 + 53
75 + 2
25 + 52
63 + 32
I know! Calculations are hard work, but it's nearly over..
Come on, one more..
123 + 5

QUICK! THINK ABOUT A TOOL AND A COLOUR, then Click here!

MS Word - New Version


Word For Blondes

Little Johnny

Little Johnny and his classmates are supposed
to draw a picture on the board



James returned to his seat
the teacher called on Ernie next



Ernie returned to his seat
Now it was Suzy's turn



Suzy returned to her seat
Next, the teacher called Jerry to the board



Jerry returned to his seat
Kim was called to the board



Kim returned to her seat

About this time little Johnny began
waving his arm hysterically.
Little Johnny was well known for
being dirty-minded, so the
teacher was reluctant to
call on him for anything.
But as the teacher looked
at the picture on the chalkboard,
she thought that there was no
way that little Johnny could
possibly do anything to make
this picture dirty.

So she called on little Johnny, and he ran to the chalkboard...



Little Johnny had done it again!

How To Sell A Toothbrush

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like shit!" Then I would say, "It is shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"


The Drunk, The Priest, and The Pope

A drunk man, who smelled like beer, sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of booze was sticking out of his coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the man turned to the priest and asked. "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replied, "My Son, it's caused by loose living; being with cheap, wicked women; too much alcohol; contempt for your fellow man; sleeping around with prostitutes; and lack of bathing."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be darned," then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."


*Thanks, Daryn!

Stress Management

Just in case you're having a rough day, here's a stress management technique recommended by one of the latest psychological texts. ...and it really works. 

1. Picture yourself near a stream. 

2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air. 

3. No one but you knows your secret place. 

4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "the world." 

5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. 

6. The water is crystal clear. 

7. Even though your eyes are closed, you can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater. 

8. See, you're smiling already.

*Thanks, Daryn!

Monday, April 25, 2005

Evil Sesame Street


Evil Sesame Street

Weird, Wired News

Drunk broke into flat to cook pork chops A New York state man has been arrested for breaking into an apartment and cooking pork chops while drunk. The 37-year-old, of Glen Falls, New York state, has been charged with burglary and criminal mischief, reports the Post Star. The resident of the apartment came home in the early hours of the morning to find the man in his bathroom. Pork chops were cooking on the stove and a smoke alarm had been ripped down from the kitchen ceiling. The intruder had apparently lived in the apartment building in the past. The resident knew him, but only by his first name. Glens Falls Police Captain Kevin Conine said the man was drunk when officers arrived to arrest him. 

Drink driver blamed Shania Twain A drink driver escaped conviction in Canada because he believed Shania Twain was helping him to drive. Matt Brownlee was arrested after police spotted a pickup truck speeding along a busy street in downtown Ottawa. The 33-year-old told psychiatrists that he believed the country singer was helping him drive, reports CBC News. A judge ruled Brownlee was not criminally responsible because he suffers from delusions that female celebrities communicate with him telepathically. He could now be detained in hospital, released under supervision or given an absolute discharge. 

Smoking Is Bad for You Still More Reasons Not to Smoke, Beyond What the Surgeon General Told You: In February, the cigarette of a 46-year-old woman in Parkersburg, W.Va., accidentally set fire to her long hair, and she later died at the West Penn Burn Center in Pittsburgh, Pa. Also in February, Dennis Crouch, 53, who had earlier chased his wife with a knife during an argument in Daytona Beach, Fla., resisted police when they arrived, provoking one officer to fire her Taser, which struck a cigarette lighter in Crouch's shirt pocket, setting fire to his upper body. (His burns weren't serious.) 

Man dies after plummeting into large hole that opened beneath his home ALTA, California (AP) - It was like a scene from a horror film: A 27-year-old man plummeted into a gaping hole that suddenly opened beneath a house, trapping him beneath foundation rubble and killing him. Authorities say the home, built in the 1980s, may have been sitting atop a decades-old underground mine. Recent rains could have softened the ground under the home, in an isolated area near Lake Alta. "It's unbelievable," Placer County Sheriff's Department spokeswoman Dena Erwin said. "From the front of the house, it's absolutely normal. Then, in the middle of the house, is this enormous hole." The victim was awake and on the ground floor about 9:30 p.m. Friday when the concrete foundation near the kitchen gave way, sending him plunging into to the ground, Erwin said. Rescuers had trouble reaching him because the ground began to shift, creating an unsafe situation for work crews. Authorities returned to the home Sunday to try and remove the man's body, though geologists were still testing the house's soundness. The man's identity hadn't been positively established.


You Kicked My Dog

WARNING!!
DO NOT OPEN AT WORK! "F" WORD and MORE USED!


You Kicked My DOG!

Click above. Requires flash. Use your back button to return to 'OZ'

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Some Interesting Facts


Star

 In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

Star In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?)

Star Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)

Star The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!")

Star There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world, that even comes close to this?)

Star In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

Star Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

Star In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the First time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.)

Star In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

Star In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)

Star Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?)

Star Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

Star The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue...(Hummm.... I won't touch THAT one!)

Star The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...? -- did the govt. pay for this research??)

Star Butterflies taste with their feet. (Ah, geez.)

Star Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that, too.)

And, the best for last.....

Star Turtles can breathe through their butts. (Do you think they have bad breath?)