***Disclaimer***

***** Disclaimer: The Wizard of 'OZ' makes no money at all from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow. 'OZ' is 100 % ad-free *****

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

It Only Takes A Minute

Please tell ten friends to tell ten today!

The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman.

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle).

This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

OZ Visitors can click below:

Click here to help!

For validity of the claim, click here.


*Thanks, SalTCBug

FEMA Calls Rebuilding Complete As New Orleans Restored To Former Squalor

NEW ORLEANS—After an unprecedented 18-month cleanup and repair effort supervised by the Federal Emergency Management Agency and several state and local government bureaus, Undersecretary for Federal Emergency Management R. David Paulison announced Monday that the city of New Orleans has been successfully returned to its pre–Hurricane Katrina state of decay and deterioration.

Our job here is done," said Paulison, who was joined by Louisiana Gov. Kathleen FEMA Calls Rebuilding Complete As New Orleans Restored To Former SqualorBlanco in a ceremony along the banks of the Industrial Canal. "Our beloved Big Easy has its soul back. The downtown shops are open and in full violation of code, the nightlife is alive with the sound of violence, and the streets are once again safe for poverty and vice."

The $41 billion restoration of the city's hallmark abandoned buildings, shacks, vacant lots, and standing trash piles was among the most complex and painstaking ever undertaken. Starting just four weeks after the August 2005 hurricane, workers recovered millions of pieces of flood-damaged debris, cleaned them of sediments and chemicals, and then replaced them where they were originally found.

The work, however, did not proceed without controversy, often grinding to a halt as preservationists quarreled in court over which sections of rot, toxic chemical compounds, PCBs, bacteria, and pathogens predated Katrina.

Despite the bitter disputes, Blanco declared the restoration project an "unqualified success," and invited the estimated 200,000 New Orleanians who still reside outside the city to return.

"We've done our best to ensure the city is as well off as it was before Katrina hit," Blanco said. "It's all back—the same abandoned cars, the broken bottles, the spent shotgun shells, the rat colonies, even the used diapers on the front lawns. People of New Orleans, welcome home."

--more--


*The Onion

Windows Vista DRM: "Suicidal"

VISTA DRMA lot of the hoopla surrounding the new Windows Vista operating system (OS) is based on it's new multimedia capabilities.

However, users purchasing Vista to use the much-hyped and enhanced multimedia capabilities to watch high definition or blu-ray DVDs -- or to listen to audio CDs -- may be in for a very upsetting surprise.

In a disturbing, albeit, eye-opening white paper detailing a cost analysis of Windows Vista Contect Protection, Peter Gutmann (a Department of Computer Science security engineering researcher at the University of Auckland, New Zealand) details the consequences of Microsoft's new Digital Rights Management (DRM) cost in terms of system performance, system stability, technical support overhead, as well as hardware and software costs and their affect on Windows Vista users and the computer industry.


Gates is a Zebra's Ass!!



In a nutshell: the paper explains how a new kind of technology is built into Windows Vista that will take high-definition DVDs, blu-ray DVDs, and audio discs, and degrade the play back quality drastically because of the content protection mechanism built into Vista, as well as the Microsoft requirements for drivers. At one point, he refers to the new content protection scheme as "suicidal."

Per the white paper, the new operating system will limit the functionality of certain pieces of hardware (such as video cards and monitors) from viewing High Definition (HD) content, requiring customized device drivers. It also requires that hardware vendors "get the OK" from major movie studios such as MGM, 20th Century Fox and Disney before releasing their drivers to the public.

On top of that, additional costs will be incurred by hardware vendors because Microsoft disallows a one-size-fits-all design for devices in the new system. Futhermore, it bans the use of add-ons such as TV-out encoders, DVI circuitry and other add-ons, since the new OS disallows the feeding of unprotected video and audio to external components.

According to the movie studios and Microsoft, that would make it too easy for a user to get around the copy right protected content. As a result, the devices will require a more custom design before being compatible with the new OS.

The white paper also details the elimination of open source hardware since Vista will require Hardware Functionality Scan (HFS) (basically a unique fingerprint) to make sure the content is genuine. In order to provide that kind of uniqueness, vendors and developers would not be able to release any details of their devices. If a weakness is found in the drivers or devices, the OS will disable it.

A 2 megabyte MS Word file from Microsoft, which details the content protection planned for Vista, is available from Ed Felten's (a professor of computer science at Princeton University) freedom to tinker blog.

The complete white paper by Mr. Gutmann is approximately 6000 words, and it barely touches the highlights. It's a long and technical read, but the author brings up several good points and a lot of things to think about before jumping head-first into Vista.

In response to Mr. Gutmann's paper, Microsoft issued a response on their Windows Vista Team blog which, as usual, raises more questions than answers.

Note also that if a user purchases another sound card and installs it after Vista has been installed, for example, this will modify your computer's hardware profile (a unique fingerprint). If Vista determines that it's running on a different profile, you'll need to reactivate Vista or it will run in "reduced" mode.

So, is the new Windows Vista content protection scheme "suicidal" as this paper explains, or is it much ado about nothing? We'll find out soon.

Oh yeah, one more thing: if you're ordering a new computer from one of several manufacturers, bear in mind that you should still be able to demand one with Windows XP if preferred.


*by Bill Lindner, InfoPackets
**Thanks, Ken

Author Sidney Sheldon dies at 89

Sidney SheldonLOS ANGELES (AP) - Sidney Sheldon, who won awards in three careers, Broadway theater, movies and television, then at age 50 turned to writing best-selling novels about stalwart women who triumph in a hostile world of ruthless men, has died. He was 89.

Sheldon died Tuesday afternoon of complications from pneumonia at Eisenhower Medical Center in Rancho Mirage, said Warren Cowan, his publicist. His wife, Alexandra, and his daughter, author Mary Sheldon, were by his side.

"I've lost a longtime and dear friend," Cowan said. "In all my years in this business, I've never heard an unkind word said about him."

Sheldon's books, with titles such as "Rage of Angels," "The Other Side of Midnight," "Master of the Game" and "If Tomorrow Comes," provided his greatest fame. They were cleverly plotted, with a high degree of suspense and sensuality and a device to keep the reader turning pages.

"I try to write my books so the reader can't put them down," he explained in a 1982 interview. "I try to construct them so when the reader gets to the end of a chapter, he or she has to read just one more chapter. It's the technique of the old Saturday afternoon serial: leave the guy hanging on the edge of the cliff at the end of the chapter."

Analyzing why so many women bought his books, he commented: "I like to write about women who are talented and capable, but most important, retain their femininity. Women have tremendous power — their femininity, because men can't do without it."

Sheldon was obviously not aiming at highbrow critics, whose reviews of his books were generally disparaging. He remained undeterred, promoting the novels and himself with genial fervor. A big, cheerful man, he bragged about his work habits.

Unlike other novelists who toiled over typewriters or computers, he dictated 50 pages a day to a secretary or a tape machine. He corrected the pages the following day, continuing the routine until he had 1,200 to 1,500 pages.

"Then I do a complete rewrite_ 12 to 15 times," he said. "I spend a whole year rewriting."

Several of his novels became television miniseries, often with the author as producer.

Sheldon began writing as a youngster in Chicago, where he was born Feb. 17, 1917. At 10, he made his first sale: $10 for a poem. During the Depression, he worked at a variety of jobs, attended Northwestern University and contributed short plays to drama groups.

At 17, he decided to try his luck in Hollywood. The only job he could find was as a reader of prospective film material at Universal Studio for $22 a week. At night he wrote his own screenplays and sold one, "South of Panama," to the studio for $250.

Sheldon honoured with a commemorative Stamp set
During World War II, he served as a pilot in the Army Air Corps. In the New York theater after the war he established his reputation as a prolific writer. At one time he had three musicals on Broadway: a rewritten "The Merry Widow," "Jackpot" and "Dream with Music." He received a Tony award as one of the writers of the Gwen Verdon hit "Redhead." His Broadway success brought about his return to Hollywood.

His first assignment, "The Bachelor and the Bobbysoxer," starring Cary Grant, Myrna Loy and Shirley Temple, brought him the Academy Award for best original screenplay of 1947.

While under contract to MGM, he recalled in 1982, "I worked like hell and I never stopped. Dore Schary (then production head) one day looked at a list of MGM projects. I had written eight of them, more than three other writers put together. That afternoon, he made me a producer."

With the movie business hurting because of television's popularity, Sheldon decided to try the new medium.

"I suppose I needed money," he remembered. "I met Patty Duke one day at lunch. So I produced 'The Patty Duke Show' (in which she played two cousins), and I did something nobody else in TV ever did. For seven years, I wrote almost every single episode of the series."

Another series, "Nancy," lasted only a half-season, but "I Dream of Jeannie," which Sheldon's Jeanniehe also created and produced, lasted five seasons, 1965-1970. The show concerned an astronaut, Larry Hagman, who lands on a desert island and discovers a bottle containing a beautiful, 2,000-year-old genie, played by Barbara Eden. She accompanies him back to Florida and eventually marries her.

"During the last year of 'I Dream of Jeannie,' I decided to try a novel," he said in 1982. "Each morning from 9 until noon, I had a secretary at the studio take all calls. I mean every single call. I wrote each morning — or rather, dictated — and then I faced the TV business."

The result was "The Naked Face," which was scorned by book reviewers and sold 21,000 copies in hardcover. The novel found a mass market in paperback, reportedly selling 3.1 million. Thereafter Sheldon became a habitue of best-seller lists, often reigning on top.

Sheldon prided himself on the authenticity of his novels. He remarked in 1987: "If I write about a place, I have been there. If I write about a meal in Indonesia, I have eaten there in that restaurant. I don't think you can fool the reader."

For "Windmills of the Mind," which dealt with the CIA, he interviewed former CIA chief Richard Helms, traveled to Argentina and Romania, and spent a week in Junction City, Kan., where the heroine had lived.

Having won a Tony, an Oscar and an Emmy (for "I Dream of Jeannie"), Sheldon declared that his final medium was the best.

"I love writing books," he commented. "Movies are a collaborative medium, and everyone is second-guessing you. When you do a novel you're on your own. It's a freedom that doesn't exist in any other medium."

Sheldon was married for more than 30 years to Jorja Curtright Sheldon, a stage and film actress who later became a prominent interior decorator. She died in 1985.

He married Alexandra Kostoff, a former child actress and advertising executive, in 1989.

Along with his wife and daughter, survivors include his brother Richard, two grandchildren and other family members.

Private funeral services were pending.


*By BOB THOMAS, Associated Press Writer

12-Year Old Begins Sex Change Therapy

(Vienna) A twelve year old German is believed to be the youngest person in the world to start a sex-change procedure.

Born biologically male and named Tim by her parents, the child from birth rejected male identifiers, adopted the name Kim, and at the age of 12 was diagnosed officially as transsexual.

Following physical and psychological examinations doctors determined it would be in Kim's best interests to immediately begin gender reassignment.

Her birth records have been changed to reflect her correct sex and name and doctors started administering hormone treatments.

That was two years ago, although media reports in Europe are just reporting her story.

In an interview with the the German news magazines Stern and Der Spiegel, Kim's father, identified only as Lutz P said that while they were at first concerned the grew to see their child as a girl.

"We saw Kim as a girl, but not as a problem. Our life was surprisingly normal," he said.

But he said that when Kim began to show the first signs of puberty she became depressed.

"At that stage we realized that she was terrified of growing facial hair and her voice breaking."

While some doctors wanted to wait until she was older before starting sex reassignment others said it should commence immediately because growing up to be a man could permanently damage her emotionally.

"Kim is a mentally well-developed child who appears happy and balanced," Dr Bern Meyenburg who studies transsexuality in teens at Frankfurt University, wrote in his diagnosis.

"There is no doubt of the determined wish, that was already detectable since early childhood. It would have been very wrong to let Kim grow up to be a man. It is rare to have such a clear-cut case."


*365Gay.com

Related:
The Odyssey of Jin Xing - Click here
The Odyssey of Jin Xing

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

A Quickee

With high-definition TV everything looks bigger and wider. Kind of like going to your 25th high school reunion...

HYUK!

The Wiz On The Street

Former Panamanian strongman Manuel Noriega is to be returned to Panama to face murder charges when he is released from a U.S. prison in September. So the Wizard hit the streets again, asking, "What do you think?"

Jake TroyerJake Troyer,
Fish Cleaner
"Poor guy. All his U.S. prison tattoos are going to be useless down in Panama."

Laura KnackertLaura Knackert,
Gunsmith
"With Noriega and Ortega back in the news again, all signs point to a strong Van Halen comeback."

Carlos PetrieCarlos Petrie,
Systems Analyst
"I'm not too clear on this: Was he the one we were selling drugs to, or the one we were buying drugs from?"


*American Voices, The Onion

Why parents get gray!

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad".

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion ... Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.


*thanks, Again, Andy!

Eye Exam


Eye Exam

If you can't read this, you are prolly over the hill already! Try squinting!
*Thanks, Andy

Greetings from "Dorky Dottypants"

MY NEW NAME IS IN THE SUBJECT... DON'T LAUGH UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHAT YOUR NEW NAME IS!

We all need a little stress-reliever! This only takes a minute.

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. If we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not.

Here is your dose of humour...


A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.

B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject box and forward it to friends and family and co-workers.

Don't forget to put your new moniker in the comments - a senior manager is now known far and wide as Dorky Gizzardsniffer!

The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...So :-
 
1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:

a = snickle

b = doombah

c = goober

d = cheesey

e = crusty

f = greasy

g = dumbo

h = farcus

i = dorky

j = doofus

k = funky

l = boobie

m = sleezy

n = sloopy

o = fluffy

p = stinky

q = slimy

r = dorfus

s = snooty

t = tootsie

u = dipsy

v = sneezy

w = liver

x = skippy

y = dinky

z = zippy


2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin

b = feather

c = batty

d = burger

e = chicken

f = barffy

g = lizard

h = waffle

i = farkle

j = monkey

k = flippin

l = fricken

m = bubble

n = rhino

o = dotty

p = hamster

q = buckle

r = gizzard

s = lickin

t = snickle

u = chuckle

v = pickle

w = hubble

x = dingle

y = gorilla

z = girdle


3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt

b = boob

c = face

d = nose

e = hump

f = breath

g = pants

h = shorts

i = lips

j = honker

k = head

l = tush

m = chunks

n = dunkin

o = brains

p = biscuits

q = toes

r = doodle

s = fanny

t = sniffer

u = sprinkles

v = frack

w = squirt

x = humperdinck

y = hiney

z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.

Now figure out your name and mark it down in the Comments. Let's see how many variations we can record!

Monday, January 29, 2007

The Amazing Art of Jim Warren.. Painted Worlds


Painted Worlds - The Amazing Art of Jim Warren
*Thanks, for the link, Auntie 'M'

WOULD YOU RE-MARRY??

Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question.

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do"

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND : "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --





HUSBAND: "Shit."


*Thanks, Andy

ONE DAY AT A TIME

The most useless thing to do............Worry

The greatest Joy..............................Giving

The greatest loss................................Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work..............Helping others

The ugliest personality trait......................Selfishness

The most endangered species...................Dedicated leaders

The greatest "shot in the arm"..................Encouragement

The greatest problem to overcome.............Fear

Most effective sleeping pill.............Peace of mind

The most crippling failure disease.........Excuses

The most powerful force in life......................Love

The most dangerous pariah................................A gossiper

The world's most incredible computer........The brain !

The worst thing to be without................... Hope

The deadliest weapon....The tongue.......

The two most power-filled words..............."I Can"

The greatest asset................Faith

The most worthless emotion...............Self-pity

The most prized possession................Integrity

The most beautiful attire..................A SMILE!

The most powerful channel of communication ............Prayer

The most contagious spirit............ .....Enthusiasm

The most important thing in life.........................GOD

Everyone needs this list to live by.


*Thanks, Dad

Ground up beetles found in yogurt -- carmine serves as insect-based food coloring ingredient

Cochineal BeetleThis is not a joke: there are ground up red beetles being used right now as a food coloring ingredient in yogurt, ice cream, juice drinks and many other grocery products. The ingredient is called "carmine."

Carmine is literally made from dried, ground-up red beetles, and its coloring (bright red) is used in yogurt, juice drinks, candies, and a long list of other products, including many "natural" products.

It's not that these red beetles are dangerous. Except for a few individuals who suffer severe allergic reactions to the beetles, most people do just fine eating carmine. Beetles are probably good for you, just like ants. High in protein, low in fat... you get the picture.

But there's a grossness factor that probably explains why products using this ingredient list "carmine" instead of "powdered red beetles" on the label. The Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) has even petitioned the FDA to ban carmine(1), or, at the very least, require its clear labeling. The CSPI cites a study conducted by the doctors at the University of Michigan (headed by Dr. Baldwin, University of Michigan Medical Center) that demonstrated carmine can cause a severe allergic reaction known as anaphylaxis -- a condition that can put a person into shock and require hospitalization. But these reactions are extremely rare.

WHY DO MANUFACTURERS USE CARMINE?

Cochineal BeetlePeople tend to buy foods that look good. The redder the juice drink, for example, the more "alive" it looks. That's why we pick bright-red apples and bright-orange oranges in the grocery store. The vibrant colors tell us, "This is ripe and healthy!"

It's no surprise, then, that consumers purchase food products with vibrant colors. Carmine adds this vibrancy and color to foods, making them more appealing to consumers. In other words, if it looks good, we are more apt to buy it.

There are also technical reasons why carmine is a useful food coloring. If you're curious about what the food manufacturers say about carmine, read: http://www.foodproductdesign.com/archive/1998/0398AP.html


HOW IS CARMINE MADE / WHERE DOES IT COME FROM?

Cochineal BeetleMost carmine used in the United States is imported from Peru and the Canary Islands. They are harvested as follows (Quoted from: labs.agilent.com:
"The insects are carefully brushed from the cacti... and placed into bags. The bags are taken to the production plant and there, the insects are then killed by immersion in hot water or by exposure to sunlight, steam or the heat of an oven. It is to be noted that the variance in appearance of commercial cochineal is caused by the different methods used during this process. It takes about 70,000 insects to make one pound (454 gm) of cochineal. The body of one coccineal is said to contain between 18-20% of carminic acid.

The part of the insect that contains the most carmine is the abdomen that houses the fertilized eggs of the coccineal. Once dried, a process begins whereby the abdomens and fertilized eggs are separated from the rest of the anatomical parts. These are then ground into a powder and cooked at temperatures in excess of 212? F (100? C) to extract the maximum amount of color. This cooked solution is filtered and through special processes that cause all carmine particles to precipitate to the bottom of the cooking container. The liquid is removed and the bottom of the container is left with pure carmine."

Yum. Not exactly what you had in mind when you were eating yogurt, was it? The most appetizing part of this description has to be, "...the abdomens and fertilized eggs are separated from the rest of the anatomical parts..."


WHAT ARE THE HEALTH EFFECTS OF CARMINE?

Cochineal BeetleThe surprising answer is that, based on the health-enhancing properties of other pigmentation chemicals from the animal world (such as astaxanthin found in crustaceans and salmon -- it's 500 times stronger than vitamin E as an antioxidant), carmine may very well be good for you. It's certainly better for you than any synthetic color, such as FD&C No. 40, which is derived from coal tar.

Would you rather be eating a pigment created by insects, or one derived through the refining of fossil fuels? Personally, I'd rather eat the insect pigment.

And although there are no studies that demonstrate health benefits of carmine, I wouldn't be surprised to hear of some in the coming years.


ARE THERE ALTERNATIVES TO CARMINE?

Cochineal BeetleYes. One company, Canandaigua Wine, introduced a substitute product derived from grape skins. According to the Canandaigua website, this new product has no allergic reactions, has better pH resistance (that's really important to food manufacturers), and has a lower "gross" factor. Nobody gets the shivers reading, "colored with grape skin extract" on the label.

There's also another bonus: the color stands up under fluorescent lighting. Carmine (and most other food colorings) tend to fade under fluorescent lights, reducing their shelf life.

Plus, we all know just how powerful grape skins are at lowering LDL cholesterol and promoting cardiovascular health. A food coloring ingredient made from grape skins would, if widely consumed, help protect the health of the public. It would probably give you all the health benefits of drinking wine, but without the alcohol.

WHAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE WITH CARMINE?

Cochineal BeetleLike most consumers, you've probably been eating ground-up red beetles for years. You just didn't know it. Although you probably suffered no health effects from eating carmine, my personal belief is that the name "carmine" on the label is misleading. People have the right to know what they're eating, even if it doesn't pose an immediate health risk.

This is especially true when ingredients are derived from living creatures. Whether it's beetles, cows or kangaroos, I want to know what I'm eating, don't you? After all, what good are the FDA's food labeling requirement if ingredients are cloaked in a secret food-industry code that nobody else really understands? It's just like calling MSG "yeast extract," which is a labeling deception widely used by makers of "natural" or vegetarian foods.

As with most food-labeling issues, awareness is the ultimate answer. If enough people become aware of the carmine issue, and sufficient pressure is put on the food manufacturers and the FDA, something will probably change.

At the same time, I would much rather eat carmine than artificial food colorings. With the beetles, at least the color comes from nature, not a chemical plant. In fact, South American cultures (the Aztecs and Incas, namely) have used carmine as coloring for thousands of years (although it's not clear whether they used it in foods). Technically speaking, you could almost call carmine a "natural" product.

Keep your eyes open for yogurt with a label that reads, "colored with all-natural, organic ground-up red beetles from Peru!"


*NewsTarget.com

Sunday, January 28, 2007

I Like My Lap Tops Extra Crispy!


I Like My Lap Tops Extra Crispy!

Speaking of "Smarter than the average bear.." I present: Bart the bear

Bart the bear, (born January 10, 1977) was perhaps the most famous bear actor of his time.

Bart the bearBart the Bear is perhaps one of Hollywood's most remarkable animal stars. The Alaskan brown bear was born in 1977 and was brought in by Hollywood animal trainer Monty Cox. Bart's mother was a bear who was also in films like "Grizzly" and Day of the Animals. Bart started to train in acting in 1980 and grew to 9 feet tall, the average for brown bears.

Bart starred in numerous movies, including Clan of the Cave Bear, The Great Outdoors, On Deadly Ground and The Edge. Bart's co-stars included John Candy, Dan Aykroyd, Steven Seagal, Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin, all of whom were very impressed with how good a bear could be trained to act, and enjoyed the experience with working with animals. Sadly, Bart died in 2000 of natural causes at the age of 23, around the age when bears usually die, but Bart does have cubs who just may be introduced to the screen in the future.

Bart died during the filming of the documentary Growing Up Grizzly (2001) (TV) which was presented by Brad Pitt - who plays Tristan Ludlow in Legends of the Fall (1994), the character that is killed by Bart at the end of the film.

Bart the Bear's Trademark legacy went far beyond his film career. He is Bart The Bearthe "spokesbear" for the Animal Cancer Center at Colorado State University but his greatest role was as ambassador for the Vital Ground Foundation. Vital Ground has procured threatened wildlife habitat along the Rocky Mountain front and on Kodiak Island. Because of Bart¹s life in captivity many of his wild brothers are able to roam free.

Bart's Offspring: Little Bart the Bear who had a cameo at the end of Dr. Dolittle 2 (2001) was named after Bart.


*Wikipedia

A True Female Joke

I have long contended there are male jokes and there are female jokes.

Here is a joke I consider a true female joke. I offer it to you in the hopes that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it.

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her.

Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00, on one condition."

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was.

The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address.

She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said...

"Clean my house."


*Thanks, Andy

The Dialogue

Old Couple In Bed Husband: Oh, come on.
Wife: Leave me alone!
Husband: It won't take long.
Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.
Husband: I can't sleep without it.
Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?
Husband: Because I'm Hot.
Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times.



Husband: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.
Wife: If you love me you'd be more considerate.
Husband: You don't love me anymore.
Wife: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.
Husband: Please...come on

Wife: All right, I'll do it.
Husband: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?
Wife: I can't find it.
Husband: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!
Wife: There! Are you satisfied?
Husband: Oh, yes.
Wife: Is it up far enough?
Husband: Oh, that's good.
Wife: Now go to bed and from now on when you want the window open, do it yourself!

What were you thinking?


*Thanks, Andy

Protect Your Belongings


Lost In Space B9 Robot

Can't think to get something for that special someone? Check out this replica of the Lost In Space B9 robot. It can be had for only...

Lost In Space B9 robot
$24,500 (Price includes shipping within the continental United States.)

Get yours today! Get 2! Start a Family! A Space-Family Robinson!


*Lostinspacerobot.com

1911 Photos of Niagara Falls - Frozen Over


1911 Photos of Niagara Falls - Frozen Over
1911 Photos of Niagara Falls - Frozen Over
1911 Photos of Niagara Falls - Frozen Over
1911 Photos of Niagara Falls - Frozen Over
*Thanks, Ken!

The Best Door Mat Ever!


Best Door Mat Ever!
*Thanks, Chickschick

Saturday, January 27, 2007

VISTA Does Everything Twice As Well As Windows XP!


VISTA ERROR, er uh... ERROR

Magic Gopher Answer

Ok...My inbox has been flooded, over this Magic Gopher. Click below to find out how he does it. Warning - Spoiler!


Magic Gopher - Click here

Click Above.

Self-Explanatory

Anger Control

Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?"

Wife: "I clean the toilet bowl."

Husband: "How does that help?"

Wife: "I use your toothbrush."


WooHoo!

*Thanks, Andy!

Pope Calls For Christian Unity In Fighting Gay Marriage

Pope Benedict(Vatican City) (Associated Press) Pope Benedict on Thursday called for "honest dialogue" among Christians as he expressed sadness over tensions between churches following centuries of divisions.

Benedict, head of the Roman Catholic Church, presided at a prayer service in St. Paul Outside the Walls Basilica in Rome to mark the end of a week of prayer dedicated in churches around the world to efforts aimed at uniting Christians.

"Honest and loyal dialogue constitutes the typical and indispensable instrument in the search for unity," Benedict said.

Christians were praying "so that all the disciples of Christ be one, and so ... they can give harmonious testimony to the men and women of our times," said Benedict, who is devoting much of his papacy to achieving Christian unity.

In his homily, Benedict said through such encounters as Thursday's service it has been possible to perceive the joy of brotherhood, together with sadness for the tensions that remain.

The Vatican is eager for Christian churches to work together on positions they can share, such as opposition to abortion, euthanasia and same-sex marriages.

Benedict reached a milestone on the path toward possible Christian unity two months ago when he met with Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew I, the spiritual leader of the world's Orthodox Christians, in Istanbul.

Tensions with the Orthodox Church in Russia kept the late John Paul II from making his hoped-for pilgrimage there. Vatican officials said this week they are hoping Benedict can go to Moscow but that there are no concrete plans despite improving relations with Russian Orthodox.


Blogger Thrown In Jail --- For Blogging!


Blogger Nabil

Egyptian blogger, Abdel Kareem Nabil, 22, who has been in detention since his arrest in early November 2006, peers from the prison vehicle Thursday, Jan. 25, 2007, in Alexandria, Egypt. An Egyptian court refused to release on bail Nabil who is on trial on charges of insulting Islam in his Internet writings in Egypt's first prosecution of a blogger.


A Beer A Day....

Benito

Benito, a 5-year-old Chihuahua, drinks beer from a bottle in the southern town of Hulst, Netherlands, Sunday Jan. 21, 2007. Terrie Berenden, a pet shop owner in the town of Zelhem created a non-alcoholic beer for her Weimaraner dog made from beef extract and malt, and consigned a local brewery to make and bottle the beer, called Kwispelbier.


"Angus And The Pennies"

"Angus And The Pennies"

A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently.

Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'...perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's noo time aboot time for a wee cuddle."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds.

Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg."

The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed. The the two turned once again to gaze out over the lock before the girl spoke again.

"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

The young man glanced down with a furled brow. "Well,noo," he said, "my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time."

"Really?" said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

"Aye," said the lad, nodding.

The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.

Then he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"


Jock"Jock And The Lottery"

Jock finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial problems. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help.

"God, please help me. Ah've lost ma wee store and if Ah dinna get some money, Ah'm going to lose my hoose too. Please let me win the lottery!"

Lottery night! Someone else wins... Jock prays again.

"God, please let me win the lottery! Ah've lost my wee store, ma hoose and Ah'm going to lose ma car as weel!"

Lottery night again! Still no luck... Jock prays again.

"Ah've lost ma business, ma hoose and ma car. Ma bairns are starving. Ah dinna often ask Ye for help and Ah have always been a good servant to Ye. PLEASE just let me win the lottery this one time so Ah can get back on ma feet!"

Suddenly there is a blinding flash as the heavens open and the voice of God Himself thunders:

"Jock at least meet Me half way and buy a ticket!"

*The Old Fart's Blog

Virgin Komodo dragon gives birth

BEIJING,(Xinhuanet) -- Over Christmas, a virgin Komodo dragon gave birth.

In an evolutionary twist, Flora, the Komodo dragon, has managed to become pregnant without any male help. It would seem the timing is auspicious: seven baby Komodo dragons are due this festive season.

"We were blown away when we realised what she'd done," said Kevin Buley Wednesday, a reptile expert at Flora's home at the Chester Zoo in northern England. "But we certainly won't be naming any of the hatchlings Jesus."

Virgin Mother Komodo
Virgin Mother Komodo
The Virgin Mother

Baby Komodo

Baby Komodo
The Baby Komodo


*China View

Friday, January 26, 2007

Redneck Time-Out

Redneck Time-Out
*Thanks, Andy

The "Whys" of Men...

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(don't know.....it never happened)

( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

And my personal favorite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

Little Johnny

Remember reading all the Internet jokes about little Johnny?

You know, the kid the teachers are afraid to call on for answers in fear of what he may say......

Well finally, a photo of little Johnny. Think you can pick him out?


Which is Little Johnny?
*Thanks, Andy!

The 10 all-time biggest scandals on the Internet

Many a reputation has gone swirling down the tubes, thanks to the Net's ability to expose scoundrels, scalawags, liars, cheats, and fools -- and then broadcast the scandal to a billion glowing screens. Here are our picks for the 10 all-time biggest scandals on the Internet.  

10. Don't ask, don't tell -- and don't tell AOL 

9. The rootkit of all evil 

8. Sex-video scandal #387 in a series 

7. 'I sue dead people' 

6. The not-so-secret service 

5. Scandalous feats 

4. The China sydrome 

3. Dan Rather bids a font farewell 

 2. A real page turner 

1. Monica-gate and Whitewater

Phallic snow sculpture turns heads on trail

Local artist, Doug Taylor's snow sculpture spurs discussion, not complaints

It sticks out from the wholesome snow sculptures along the River Landing trail like a . . . well, giant penis.

Mushroom? Or....
... rumour has it it is actually a Mushroom...

The River Landing roundabout located at the base of the Traffic Bridge ( Spadina Crescent & 3rd Avenue South ) is the home of a Saskatoon centennial snow sculpture. Meewasin is managing the project with funding support from the City of Saskatoon , Whitecap Dakota First Nations, Allan Construction Co. Ltd., and The Partnership.

Internationally acclaimed local artist Patricia Leguen worked on some sculptures the week of January 30th. Although this sculpture is seasonal, the roundabout will provide future opportunities for artistic interpretation of the heritage resources of Saskatoon. The roundabout is a gateway to River Landing reinforcing the transition from vehicle to pedestrian traffic as one enters the site.


War Against Smoking Reaches Milestone

(Reno, Nevada)(The Associated Press) Thirty years after it began as just another quirky movement in Berkeley, Calif., the push to ban smoking in restaurants, bars and other public places has reached a national milestone.

For the first time in the nation's history, more than half of Americans live in a city or state with laws mandating that workplaces, restaurants or bars be smoke-free, according to Americans for Nonsmokers' Rights.

"The movement for smoke-free air has gone from being a California oddity to the nationwide norm," said Bronson Frick, the group's associate director. "We think 100 percent of Americans will live in smoke-free jurisdictions within a few years."

Mickey Smoking? Say it isn't so!Seven states and 116 communities enacted tough smoke-free laws last year, bringing the total number to 22 states and 577 municipalities, according to the group. Nevada's ban, which went into effect Dec. 8, increased the total U.S. population covered by any type of smoke-free law to 50.2 percent.

It was the most successful year for anti-smoking advocates in the U.S., said Frick, and advocates are now working with local and state officials from across the nation on how to bring the other half of the country around.

In a sign of the changing climate, new U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi banned smoking in the ornate Speaker's Lobby just off the House floor this month, and the District of Columbia recently barred it in public areas. Arizona, Colorado, Hawaii, Louisiana, New Jersey and Ohio also passed sweeping anti-smoking measures last year.

"That's how life is now. They're banning smoking everywhere," said Rep. Devin Nunes, R-Calif., an occasional smoker.

Susan Burgess, the mayor pro tem of Charlotte, N.C., said what's fueling the push is a U.S. Surgeon General's report released last June that found just a few minutes inhaling someone else's smoke harms nonsmokers, and separate smoking sections don't offer enough protection.

She said the report gave momentum to the anti-smoking front even in North Carolina - the nation's No. 1 tobacco state - and influenced Nevada voters to approve a ballot measure banning smoking at restaurants, bars that serve food, and around slot machines at supermarkets, gas stations and convenience stores. Nevada, where gambling and smoking had been assumed to go hand in hand, previously had one of the nation's least restrictive smoking laws.

"The Nevada vote shows that when people are given accurate information about the dangers of secondhand smoke, it's almost a no-brainer" they'll support smoking controls, said Burgess, founder of the anti-smoking group Smokefree Charlotte.

Not all elected officials and business owners embrace the cause. They maintain such laws drive away smoking customers and cut profits.

"There's a fear that we would lose restaurant business to nearby towns if we passed a smoking ordinance," Moline, Ill., Mayor Don Welvaert said. "Before acting, we would need real proof that cities have not experienced business losses because of smoking regulations."

Nevada's smoking restrictions have been challenged in state court by a coalition of businesses. Opponents say the ban, which does not apply to the gambling floors of casinos on and off the Las Vegas Strip, is unconstitutional, vague and unenforceable.

In Columbia, Mo., one business owner displayed his displeasure at a new local ordinance banning smoking with a sign: "Smoking allowed until Jan. 9, City Council banning beer next, and hopefully, karaoke!"

R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. plans to continue to fight smoking bans at adult-only businesses because it thinks such restrictions infringe on the rights of owners and adversely affect business, spokesman David Howard said from the company's headquarters in Winston-Salem, N.C.

But Columbia Mayor Darwin Hindman said studies show bans will not force smoking customers to go elsewhere. The Surgeon General's report reached a similar conclusion.


Advertisement
Quit Smoking Forever Hypnosis Session
End Advertisement


"I don't think it's a legitimate fear that bars and restaurants will lose business," Hindman said. "From what I've read, smokers keep going to bars and restaurants even after smoking is banned. Smoking restrictions should be based on health issues anyway."

Amy Winterfeld, health policy analyst for the National Conference of State Legislatures based in Washington, D.C., said smoke-free legislation is pending in at least seven states.

"When you see an issue like this passing in a number of states it does give it momentum in other states," Winterfeld said. "It's certainly possible that a number of states will take it up this year."


Watch The Birdie!

***Not safe for work - Rated PG***  

Click here.

*Thanks, DW