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Saturday, November 30, 2019

Senior's Texting Codes

senior texter

Young people have theirs, now Seniors have their own texting codes:
* ATD - At the Doctor's

* BFF - Best Friends Funeral

* BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

* BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth

* CBM - Covered by Medicare

* CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

* DWI - Driving While Incontinent

* FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

* GGPBL- Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

* GHA - Got Heartburn Again

* HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement

* LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

* LOL - Living on Lipitor

* OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas

* TOT - Texting on Toilet

* WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?

* WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again

Hope these help.


So... GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!)

Way too cute... and comfortable

baby and puppies


baby and puppies


baby and puppies

baby and puppies

baby and puppies

baby and puppies

The Philosophy of Ambiguity


FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:

1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15. WHY DO THEY LOCK PETROL STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?

25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?

31. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

32. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

33. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?

34. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

Narcisse and Inwood Manitoba Canada - Garter Snake Capitals of the World

Narcisse, Manitoba - NARCISSE GARTER SNAKE DENS NEAR INWOOD MANITOBA

The Narcisse Snake Pits are located six kilometers north of Narcisse, Manitoba. The dens are the winter home of tens of thousands of Red-sided Garter Snakes (Thamnophis sirtalis parietalis). These pits are the largest concentration in the world of this particular type of snake. Their winter dens are subterranean caverns formed by the area's water-worn limestone bedrock. In the spring, they come up from their dens to the snake pits, where they engage in mating rituals. Then they disperse into the nearby marshes for the summer.



The best time to visit the Narcisse Snake Pits is late April to early May, which is the mating season. Another good time to go is early September, when the snakes slither back down to their winter dens.

Bob and Betty

CastleBob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe... as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.
A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill , and this is my wife Betty . We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!"
Bob brings his wife in.

An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist.. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor , bring them down to the laboratory"

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor 's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor . Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor 's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music.. Stunned, he watches as Bob 's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.

He bursts in and shouts to his master:

"Master, Master! ....... The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"


(I am soooooo sorry........ But you really should've seen that coming)

AT&T Don't Text While Driving Documentary

Friday, November 29, 2019

One Eyed Bob's Innapropriate Gifts For Children

Kids just want to have fun - maybe not always doing things we'd prefer them to do. Here's an unusual collection of toys to encourage the inquisitive, provocative and often mischievous children in your life.

Clone Your own cow!

We've got the beef! In the current climate of uncertainly over the safety of our food supply what could possible be better than growing your own? Cloning has come further than you think. Our kit includes starter cells and everything you need to get your calf growing. We suggest buying two kits (one male, one female) so you can establish your own herd. Make sure you have enough space if you go that route. $99.95 USD.

Took me a while...

Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning:

"Windows frozen, won't open."


Husband texts back:
"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"Computer really screwed up now.”

How Babies are made in Canada

Canadian photographer Patrice Laroche surely will have no trouble explaining to his kids about the birds and the bees. During his wife Sandra Denis’ pregnancy the artist created hilarious explanatory photo series titled “How to Make a Baby”. The creative couple planned and carried out their project throughout the whole period of 9 months taking pictures in the exact same settings as Sandra’s figure expanded. The pregnancy saga of Sandra and Patrice certainly denounces all the traditional cabbage and the stork stories.








German Hammer Juggler

This Guy Knows Math

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out is window and gave the woman the finger.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, And here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day..

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.
That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry
weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so...

INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS

Boy at Church
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque.It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.' Good morning Pastor, he replied, still focused on the plaque. Pastor, what is this? The pastor said, Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service. Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,

"Which service...the 8:30 or the 10:30?"

Thursday, November 28, 2019

The Top 10 Facts of ALL Time


Cool facts

1. Where is Uranus?

We can't believe people keep asking us this one since the answer is so obvious. "Well, where do you think?" If the entire solar system were reduced to the scale of your body - with the sun at your head and Pluto at your feet - then Uranus would be located exactly where you think it'd be. Incidentally, if anyone ever asks you if Uranus has any rings around it, you should stand up and proudly say, "Yes, indeed! Nine, to be exact. But you can't see them with the naked eye. They are only visible through high-powered telescopes."

2. Do mummies have brains?

We've been asked this question so many times that we finally went out and learned the real answer, which is something we ordinarily hate to do. It turns out that mummies don't have brains for the simple reason that the Egyptians dug them out and tossed them. They reached in through their mummy noses with little hooks and fished them out. It's all part of the mummification process. (There now, aren't you glad you asked? )

3. Do Termites have gas problems?

Yes, they do. But before you act all surprised and grossed out, remember that termites eat wood and wood is difficult to digest. Try it sometime. The result is unfortunate, but hardly unexpected, often leading to awkward social situations. Incidentally, there are enough termites in the world, and each of them emits enough methane, that they (and cows, too, for that matter) have been identified as significant sources of greenhouse gases and thus, contribute to global warming.
P.S. Ancient termites have been discovered trapped in pieces of amber in which tiny bubbles can sometimes be seen in a little chain coming from their south ends. How embarrassing is that?

4. Are Martians dangerous?

Only one person that we know of has been killed by a Martian and there's an asterisk attached since the person was actually a dog (in Nakhla, Egypt, 1911). And the Martian was actually just a rock that came from Mars. But still. The rock was exploded off the surface of Mars millions of years ago by an asteroid impact. It then proceeded on a long flight plan that eventually ended on the head of an Egyptian dog. The meteorite was saved and, more than 50 years later, analyzed. Only then was it discovered to have originated on Mars.

5. How do they get rid of the bugs, before they make cereal?

The answer, you'll be a little unhappy to learn, is they don't. At least not all of them. Cereal is made from things like rice or wheat or corn, and grains like that have lots of insects on them when they get harvested. Plus, bugs get into them when they are stored and transported. The processing kills most of them (hopefully) but that leaves dead bug carcasses and dead bug parts. Yuck. The law allows a percentage of every box of cereal to be "insect parts and bodies." Although you will not find them on the list of ingredients, they are in there. In two cups of cereal (50 grams) there are allowed to be 75 insect parts.

6. I think my little brother is an ape. He says he is not. Who's right?

Technically speaking, he is; but it's actually very close. Ninety-nine percent of an ape's DNA is identical to human DNA.

7. Are bugs bugged by bugs?

You'd think bugs would be nice to each other, since they're all about the same size and sort of look alike and so forth. But in fact, a lot of bugs are horrible to each other - really horrible. For example: Did you know that fleas have fleas? (We're calling them fleas, but they're actually mites.) Except that when you're already a flea, your own fleas are about the size of Frisbees (relatively speaking). Or think what life is like for the caterpillar. One species of wasp lays its eggs inside a caterpillar with its stinger. Then the baby wasp grows up, eating the caterpillar from the inside out. Yuck! Fortunately, caterpillars know how to fight dirty, too. They are able to eject their tiny doo-doo at high speed toward the attacking wasps. Ready! Aim! Fire doo-doo!

8. What do well-bred ladies do with whale vomit?

The answer, you'll be pleased to know, is put it behind their ears. But wait a minute! Don't worry! They don't use new whale vomit (that would be disgusting). They use old whale vomit. It washes up on beaches sometimes. French perfume manufacturers have used it for years in their more expensive fragrances. These days, good quality whale vomit is very rare and illegal to sell in the U.S. (Google "ambergris" if you don't believe us.)

9. If the rate of population growth doesn't change in the future, what's going to happen?

The population of the Earth, which is a little over 6 billion people, will double every 40 years. Therefore, if we do the math, 2,400 years from now Planet Earth will be a packed ball of human flesh expanding outward at the speed of light.

10. What would happen if a penny dropped off the Empire State Building and hit me on the head?

You'll probably be disappointed with this answer, but it would not burn a hole in your head. A falling penny acts a good bit more like a feather than a rock. A penny reaches a top speed of something like 40 mph in free fall. It might sting, but that's about it.

dr.a.g. - A new unique coffee table book of art



Christopher Logan is an actor (Connie and Carla, Saving Silverman, Tron Legacy, Alcatraz)  who has produced a coffee table book of the top drag performers shot by fashion and celeb photographers. The book is published worldwide by Tectum Publishers and is to raise funding for independent film.

Click on any picture to see a larger one!


The book features top names in the New York drag scene (Lady Bunny, Joey Arias, Sherry Vine, Hedda Lettuce, Charles Busch), from the Vegas Strip (Frank Marino, Eddie Edwards, Mr. Kenneth Blake), cast from RuPaul's Drag Race (Nina Flowers, Raja, Chad Michaels, Tammie Brown, Jujubee, Bebe Zahara Benet, Shannel, Ongina). 






Jackie Beat, Miss Coco Peru, Jimmy James, legendary drag icon Jim Bailey, and Montreal legend MADO, with photography from Austin Young, Magnus Hastings, Mike Ruiz, Peter Palladino and Jose A. Guzman Colon, among others.

photo credit Mike Ruiz, www.mikeruiz.com

I have had the pleasure of reading this unique coffee table book. The girls are fantastic, and the photography is sublime. Christopher Logan has produced a very interesting book. The attention to detail, the models, the photographers, and Christopher have put into this work of art is simply fabulous (with a capital F!!!)


This book deserves to be read! (ok, oogled at!)... a great conversation starter - just leave it out, it will generate conversation!! This is a great piece of art! From cover to cover, it flourishes with beauty. So much more than a collection of pictures of drag queens -- one can see the individuality of each queen, all dressed up in the elegance of drag. The photographers have managed to capture these beauties in all their extravagance  Each pose has the reader enveloped in their charm and charisma. This is truly an unique book, well deserving of any discerning person's coffee table!

To purchase this wonderful book that is much more than a book, go to www.bookthefilm.com as where to purchase.

LOLIGAGGLES








Mama and her Bible

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said "I had a big house built for Mama".

The second said "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house "

The third said "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."


The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote:

"Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway"

Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

Does a horse have a lap?

A baby horse on its mom's lap

Some pictures just don't need captions.

There is nothing like Mom's lap no matter who you are. This is precious!

This is a newborn offspring of Taskin, a Gypsy Stallion owned by Villa Vanners of Oregon.

These pictures were taken immediately after his birth on last April 6. The mare laid down, and then he trotted around and crawled right up into her lap.

baby horse in mother's lap

baby horse in mother's lap

baby horse in mother's lap

baby horse in mother's lap

baby horse in mother's lap

Colour Overlay



Colour TV was widely available by the late 1960s but was prohibitively expensive. Enter the TV colour screen—a coloured plastic sheet placed over the TV screen to simulate colour  The $1 overlay was separated into four bands: The top was blue-tinted, the next orange, then yellow, then red. The strips were supposed to blend together to create the illusion of colour  but all they did was make faces look orange and grass look red.

tags: trivia

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Funny Auto-Corrects - McDonald's n' more

Funny McDonald's auto-correct

funny autocorrect

funny autocorrect

funny autocorrect

funny autocorrect

funny autocorrect

Awesomly punny!

fanta-sea
Full size by clicking on it!

Ever wanted to know Mountainese?


Hi Youins!

If you have a bit of time, check out this link:

www.realcountrylife.com/dictionary.html 

Very funny.... found it trying to find the original of “get a lickin”.

The Love Doctor


The Love Doctor Dear Love Doctor,

My mom told me that boys have pens and girls have Virginias. Is that true?

Signed,

Mom doesn't lie


Dear Mom,

No. And at age 40, it's time that you moved out of your parents house! Get real.

The Love Doctor

--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)

What do you think caused your heterosexuality? ;-)

1.What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and how did you decide that you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you may grow out of?

4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. Isn't it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

6. Heterosexuals have histories of failure in gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned to heterosexuality in fear of rejection?

7. If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer it?

8. If your heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?

9. With whom have you discussed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

10. Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you don't try to force it on me. Why do people feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation?

11. If you choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?

12. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

13. Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

14. How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusive heterosexual object choice, and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, natural, God-given homosexual potential?

15. Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to narrowly restricted sex roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?

16. How can you enjoy a fully satisfying sexual experience or deep emotional rapport with a person of the opposite sex, when the obvious physical, biological, and temperamental differences between you are so vast? How can a man understand what pleases a woman sexually, or vice-versa?

17. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

18. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

19. How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you, considering the menace of overpopulation?

20. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed with which you might be able to change if you want to. Have you ever tried therapy?

21. A disproportionate number of criminals, welfare recipients, and other irresponsible or anti-social types are heterosexual. Why would you want to hire a heterosexual for a responsible position?

22. Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust other of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?

23. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?

24. Why do you make a point of attributing heterosexuality to famous people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?

25. Could you really trust a heterosexual therapist/counselor to be objective and unbiased? Don't you fear that s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his/her own leanings?

Giggles, Guffaws, and Groaners

Why did Dorothy get lost in Oz?

She had three men giving her directions.

HYUK!

A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. When they were asked what their secret was to a long lasting marriage they said:

"We take the time to go out to a restaurant two times a week. A candlelight dinner, soft music and a slow walk home. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays."

HYUK!

You Know you are Addicted to the Internet When...

· You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved, and you don't have a clue when it happened.

· Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

· All of your friends have an @ in their names.

· Your dog has its own home page.

· You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem.

· You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

· You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.

· You get a new suit that says, "This best viewed with Netscape 4.01 or higher."

· The last girl you asked out was only a jpeg.

· Your wife says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

HYUK!

A schoolteacher's son brought his report card home. The father said; let's see what you have accomplished. He opens the report and to his dismay sees all bad grades. What do you have to say about this Johnny? Well dad at lease you know I'm not cheating.

Woo! HOO!!