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Saturday, August 31, 2019


(Los Angeles, California) Judith Sheindlin, familiarly known as television's Judge Judy, fixes the lawbreaker with her trademark brace-yourself-buddy glare.

"You're drinking my tea?" she says to Jerry Sheindlin, her husband of many years, who's lunching alongside her during a production break on her court show. Not bothering to appeal, he stops pouring from her cup into his and returns the property to its rightful owner.

For Judy Sheindlin,  as the star of one TV's top-rated syndicated shows, watched by 10 million people daily, enforcing justice is a full-time job. Her grandchildren may enjoy some slack; all others, watch out.

That unforgiving approach to small-claims disputes culled from courts across the country is what draws viewers. When Phil McGraw barks at an errant spouse or parent on Dr. Phil, he's reflecting the influence of Sheindlin's decade of TV toughness.

"Accept responsibility for what you do in everything," the former New York family court judge said in an interview. She was referring to her own expectation of how judges - and, in a more expansive view, the world - should behave.

At one point, she interrupts herself to search her purse for a stash of newspaper clippings, reports on a series of violent deaths of New York children that have raised questions about city government oversight.

"All these articles, you know who they blame? They blame the Administration for Children's Services. Now, I'm not absolving them. . . . But that's not where the fault is, really," she said. "The people who are supposed to protect children are their parents."

Her unshakable mantra is personal responsibility. It's a position that played well when her show began and may be even more beguiling in a time vexed by the forces of war and terror. The real power is yours, Sheindlin tells us; who wouldn't want to believe?

The 77-year-old who reminds you she successfully raised five children and stepchildren will not brook excuses from those she sees as skirting their duties.

A defendant who faced her recently found out how that applied to him. The college student, who stiffed a roommate for rent after an injury forced him out of a good-paying valet job, told Sheindlin he had no choice.

The judge did some quick math. If he had taken a minimum-wage job, say at a fast-food restaurant, and worked 10 hours a day, seven days a week, he could have met most of his financial obligation to the roomie.

"She's not related to you. She doesn't love you like your mother does," Sheindlin told him, delivering her lecture in the pitiless tone so at odds with the visual: a petite woman, dwarfed by a realistic courtroom setting, and with her black robe softened by a dainty lace collar.

Afterward, the defendant weighed in for the camera. "I was made to look like a fool and a deadbeat, he wailed - while the show picked up the tab for the roughly $2,000 US judgment, as it always does.

Petri Hawkins Byrd, who served as her bailiff in New York and cuts an imposing figure in the same role on TV, admires Sheindlin as "blunt, witty, sharp as a tack" and for her refusal to accept any nonsense. Would he want to come before her in court?

"Hell, no," he said, laughing. "And I don't advise any of my friends to do so. Not if they want to maintain their love of the judicial system."

Sheindlin was scheduled to receive a special Valentine Day's treat: her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Also, she garnered a Daytime Emmy Awards nomination, her 10th overall, for the upcoming April ceremony.

A big air kiss came her way last year when her name was floated by novelist Kurt Vonnegut and a newspaper columnist as a replacement for retiring Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. The suggestions may have been ironic but she likely could have found more public favour than Harriet Miers.

Sheindlin's popularity earns her a reported $30 million yearly. She travels to work by private jet from the Naples, Fla., home she shares with her husband, a retired judge who also did his time in a TV courtroom with People's Court. She flies in every other week to Los Angeles for three days of taping.

While new judges crowd into the TV courtroom, including Judge Alex and the upcoming Judge Maria Lopez, Sheindlin remains the queen bee with ratings that put her in the company of top syndicated performers including Oprah Winfrey and Wheel of Fortune.

"I think Judge Judy is, like Oprah, sort of the star of her genre," said analyst Stacey Lynn Koerner of New York-based media agency Initiative. "She lays it on the line and she doesn't let you get away with anything. . . . She stands out as an ethical voice that speaks to the common man."

Some uncommon voices, however, have been raised against her. Harvard Law professor Alan Dershowitz declaimed her for presenting the image of a judge as tyrant. A New York Times column recently accused Sheindlin of using the law as a bludgeon against the underclass: ". . .the lower a party's apparent status, the harsher Judge Judy is free to be."

Sheindlin once coyly parried Dershowitz, in print, by joking that she should have gone to the prom with him. Randy Douthit, the show's executive producer and director, takes on the allegation of class warfare.

"I think she's an equal opportunity abuser," Douthit said of Sheindlin.

Because the show draws from small-claims courts in which judgments generally are limited to no more than $5,000, cases tend to involve the less affluent. But the show aims to be as "upscale as possible," Douthit said, avoiding Jerry Springeresque elements.

* by Lynn Elber, Associated Press


Click here

Click above for The Judge Judy Soundboard - Hours of fun!

New Stealth Fighter!

New Stealth Fighter!

Story of Two Houses

LOOK OVER THE DESCRIPTIONS OF THE FOLLOWING TWO HOUSES AND SEE IF YOU CAN TELL WHICH BELONGS TO AN ENVIRONMENTALIST.

HOUSE # 1:

A 20-room mansion (not including 8 bathrooms) heated by natural gas. Add on a pool (and a pool house) and a separate guest house all heated by gas. In ONE MONTH ALONE this mansion consumes more energy than the average American household in an ENTIRE YEAR. The average bill for electricity and natural gas runs over $2,400.00 per month. In natural gas alone (which last time we checked was a fossil fuel), this property consumes more than 20 times the national average for an American home. This house is not in a northern or Midwestern "snow belt," either. It's in the South.


HOUSE # 2:

Designed by an architecture professor at a leading national university, this house incorporates every "green" feature current home construction can provide. The house contains only 4,000 square feet (4 bedrooms) and is nestled on arid high prairie in the American southwest. A central closet in the house holds geothermal heat pumps drawing ground water through pipes sunk 300 feet into the ground. The water (usually 67 degrees F.) heats the house in winter and cools it in summer. The system uses no fossil fuels such as oil or natural gas, and it consumes 25% of the electricity required for a conventional heating/cooling system. Rainwater from the roof is collected and funneled into a 25,000 gallon underground cistern. Wastewater from showers, sinks and toilets goes into underground purifying tanks and then into the cistern. The collected water then irrigates the land surrounding the house. Flowers and shrubs native to the area blend the property into the surrounding rural landscape.


HOUSE # 1 (20 room energy guzzling mansion) is outside of Nashville, Tennessee. It is the abode of that renowned environmentalist (and filmmaker) Al Gore.


HOUSE # 2 (model eco-friendly house) is on a ranch near Crawford, Texas. Also known as "the Texas White House," it was the private residence of the former President of the United States, George W. Bush.


So whose house is gentler on the environment? Yet another story you WON'T hear on CNN, CBS, ABC, NBC, MSNBC or read about in the New York Times or the Washington Post. Indeed, for Mr. Gore, it's truly "an inconvenient truth."

Heehee!

A postman, on his route, picked up a letter from a mailbox that was addressed to God. The postman seeing that the letter was not sealed, and there being no postage on it, opened and read it.

It was from a man who was down on his luck and was asking God for help. The letter asked for $50 to get his family through the next week. The postman, being a Mason, took the letter to Lodge that evening, read it, and asked for donations for the unfortunate fellow. The Masons, wanting to help, took up a collection, and received twenty five dollars from the brethren. The Secretary placed the cash in a Lodge envelope, and gave it to the postman to deliver the following day, which he did.

Another day passed, and the postman again found an unsealed letter in the mailbox addressed to God. Again he opened and read the letter, which thanked God for the money, but instructed him to send it through the Knights of Columbus next time as the Masons kept half for a 50/50 draw.


heehee

*Masonic Humour

Ear Hair

My neighbour found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears. He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine.

The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At the register the druggist tells her, "If you're going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days."

The lady says: "I'm not using it under my arms."

The druggist says: "If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days."

The lady says: "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."

The druggist says: "Stay off your bicycle for a week."

Why I Mow My Own Yard

Lee Trevino: a true story, you gotta love him.


Lee Trevino


One day, shortly after joining the PGA tour in 1965, Lee Trevino, a professional golfer and married man, was at his home in Dallas , Texas mowing his front lawn as he always did. A lady driving by in a big, shiny Cadillac stopped in front of his house, lowered the window and asked, "Excuse me, do you speak English?"

Lee responded, "Yes Ma'am, I do."

The lady then asked, "What do you charge to do yard work?"

Lee said, "Well, the lady in this house lets me sleep with her."

The lady hurriedly put the car into gear and sped off.

Friday, August 30, 2019

Royal Canadian Mounted Police

Doesn't get any better than this....our very own Canadian Tenors along with our incredible Royal Canadian Mounted Police...can't get any more Canadian! EH?

Watch for a close up of the Queen; the expression on her face is priceless!

THE LOVE STORY OF RALPH AND EDNA

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

Kung Fu

i know Kung-Foo!Two kung-fu masters were carrying on about their respective skills. "Why, my reflexes are such that you will not believe," boasted Master Foo and drawing his sword, he sliced at a passing fly, which promptly dropped dead in two pieces.

"That's nothing," said Master Koh. Drawing his sword, he made two deft cuts at another passing fly.

Master Foo was highly amused. "What are you talking about?" he sneered. "That fly is still flying."

"Ah yes," replied Master Koh, "but now it can never have children."

ALERT!!


There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, verbally, and by hand.

This virus is called Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means, DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put on your jacket and take two good friends to the nearest liquor store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

I'm Not Happy I'm Gay

Facts About Canada, eh?


Politic al Map of Canada. Click here to see larger version Background: A land of vast distances and rich natural resources, Canada became a self-governing dominion in 1867 while retaining ties to the British crown. Economically and technologically the nation has developed in parallel with the US, its neighbor to the south across an unfortified border. Canada's paramount political problem is meeting public demands for quality improvements in health care and education services after a decade of budget cuts. The issue of reconciling Quebec's francophone heritage with the majority anglophone Canadian population has moved to the back burner in recent years; support for separatism abated after the Quebec government's referendum on independence failed to pass in October of 1995.

Geography
Location:
Northern North America, bordering the North Atlantic Ocean on the east, North Pacific Ocean on the west, and the Arctic Ocean on the north, north of the conterminous US
Geographic coordinates: 60 00 N, 95 00 W
Map references: North America
Area: total: 9,984,670 sq km
Land: 9,093,507 sq km
Water: 891,163 sq km
Area - comparative: somewhat larger than the US
Land boundaries: total: 8,893 km
Border countries: US 8,893 km (includes 2,477 km with Alaska)
Coastline: 202,080 km
Maritime claims: territorial sea: 12 nm


Climate: varies from temperate in south to subarctic and arctic in north
Terrain: mostly plains with mountains in west and lowlands in southeast
Elevation extremes: lowest point: Atlantic Ocean 0 m
Highest point: Mount Logan 5,959 m
Natural resources: iron ore, nickel, zinc, copper, gold, lead, molybdenum, potash, diamonds, silver, fish, timber, wildlife, coal, petroleum, natural gas, hydropower
Land use: arable land: 4.96%
permanent crops: 0.02%
other: 95.02% (2001)
Irrigated land: 7,200 sq km (1998 est.)

Natural hazards: continuous permafrost in north is a serious obstacle to development; cyclonic storms form east of the Rocky Mountains, a result of the mixing of air masses from the Arctic, Pacific, and North American interior, and produce most of the country's rain and snow east of the mountains Environment - current issues: air pollution and resulting acid rain severely affecting lakes and damaging forests; metal smelting, coal-burning utilities, and vehicle emissions impacting on agricultural and forest productivity; ocean waters becoming contaminated due to agricultural, industrial, mining, and forestry activities

Environment - international agreements: party to: Air Pollution, Air Pollution-Nitrogen Oxides, Air Pollution-Persistent Organic Pollutants, Air Pollution-Sulfur 85, Air Pollution-Sulfur 94, Antarctic-Environmental Protocol, Antarctic-Marine Living Resources, Antarctic Seals, Antarctic Treaty, Biodiversity, Climate Change, Climate Change-Kyoto Protocol, Desertification, Endangered Species, Environmental Modification, Hazardous Wastes, Law of the Sea, Marine Dumping, Ozone Layer Protection, Ship Pollution, Tropical Timber 83, Tropical Timber 94, Wetlands signed, but not ratified: Air Pollution-Volatile Organic Compounds, Marine Life Conservation

Geography - note: second-largest country in world (after Russia); strategic location between Russia and US via north polar route; approximately 90% of the population is concentrated within 160 km of the US border

People
Population: 32,805,041 (July 2005 est.)
Age structure: 0-14 years: 17.9% (male 3,016,032/female 2,869,244)
15-64 years: 68.9% (male 11,357,425/female 11,244,356)
65 years and over: 13.2% (male 1,842,496/female 2,475,488) (2005 est.)
Median age: total: 38.54 years
male: 37.54 years
female: 39.56 years (2005 est.)
Population growth rate: 0.9% (2005 est.)
Birth rate: 10.84 births/1,000 population (2005 est.)
Death rate: 7.73 deaths/1,000 population (2005 est.)
Net migration rate: 5.9 migrant(s)/1,000 population (2005 est.)
Sex ratio: at birth: 1.05 male(s)/female
under 15 years: 1.05 male(s)/female
15-64 years: 1.01 male(s)/female
65 years and over: 0.74 male(s)/female
total population: 0.98 male(s)/female (2005 est.)
Infant mortality rate: total: 4.75 deaths/1,000 live births
male: 5.21 deaths/1,000 live births
female: 4.27 deaths/1,000 live births (2005 est.)
Life expectancy at birth: total population: 80.1 years
male: 76.73 years
female: 83.63 years (2005 est.)
Total fertility rate: 1.61 children born/woman (2005 est.)
HIV/AIDS - adult prevalence rate: 0.3% (2003 est.)
HIV/AIDS - people living with HIV/AIDS: 56,000 (2003 est.)
HIV/AIDS - deaths: 1,500 (2003 est.)

Nationality: noun: Canadian(s)
adjective: Canadian
Ethnic groups: British Isles origin 28%, French origin 23%, other European 15%, Amerindian 2%, other, mostly Asian, African, Arab 6%, mixed background 26%
Religions: Roman Catholic 42.6%, Protestant 23.3% (including United Church 9.5%, Anglican 6.8%, Baptist 2.4%, Lutheran 2%), other Christian 4.4%, Muslim 1.9%, other and unspecified 11.8%, none 16% (2001 census)
Languages: English (official) 59.3%, French (official) 23.2%, other 17.5%
Literacy: definition: age 15 and over can read and write
total population: 97% (1986 est.)

Government
Country name: conventional long form: Canada
conventional short form: Canada
Government type: confederation with parliamentary democracy
Capital: Ottawa
Administrative divisions: 10 provinces and 3 territories*; Alberta, British Columbia, Manitoba, New Brunswick, Newfoundland and Labrador, Northwest Territories*, Nova Scotia, Nunavut*, Ontario, Prince Edward Island, Quebec, Saskatchewan, Yukon Territory*
Independence: 1 July 1867 (union of British North American colonies); 11 December 1931 (independence recognized)
National holiday: Canada Day, 1 July (1867)
Constitution: made up of unwritten and written acts, customs, judicial decisions, and traditions; the written part of the constitution consists of the Constitution Act of 29 March 1867, which created a federation of four provinces, and the Constitution Act of 17 April 1982, which transferred formal control over the constitution from Britain to Canada, and added a Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms as well as procedures for constitutional amendments
Legal system: based on English common law, except in Quebec, where civil law system based on French law prevails; accepts compulsory ICJ jurisdiction, with reservations

Suffrage: 18 years of age; universal
Executive branch: chief of state: Queen ELIZABETH II (since 6 February 1952), represented by Governor General Adrienne CLARKSON (since 7 October 1999)
head of government: Prime Minister Paul MARTIN (since 12 December 2003); Deputy Prime Minister Anne MCLELLAN (since 12 December 2003)
cabinet: Federal Ministry chosen by the prime minister from among the members of his own party sitting in Parliament elections: none; the monarchy is hereditary; governor general appointed by the monarch on the advice of the prime minister for a five-year term; following legislative elections, the leader of the majority party or the leader of the majority coalition in the House of Commons is automatically designated prime minister by the governor general

Legislative branch: bicameral Parliament or Parlement consists of the Senate or Senat (members appointed by the governor general with the advice of the prime minister and serve until reaching 75 years of age; its normal limit is 105 senators) and the House of Commons or Chambre des Communes (308 seats; members elected by direct, popular vote to serve for up to five-year terms)
elections: House of Commons - last held 28 June 2004 (next to be held by NA 2009)
election results: House of Commons - percent of vote by party - Liberal Party 36.7%, Conservative Party 29.6%, New Democratic Party 15.7%, Bloc Quebecois 12.4%, Greens 4.3%, independents 0.4%, other 0.9%; seats by party - Liberal Party 134, Conservative Party 99, Bloc Quebecois 54, New Democratic Party 19, independent 2
Judicial branch: Supreme Court of Canada (judges are appointed by the prime minister through the governor general); Federal Court of Canada; Federal Court of Appeal; Provincial Courts (these are named variously Court of Appeal, Court of Queens Bench, Superior Court, Supreme Court, and Court of Justice)
Political parties and leaders: Bloc Quebecois [Gilles DUCEPPE]; Conservative Party of Canada (a merger of the Canadian Alliance and the Progressive Conservative Party) [Stephen HARPER]; Green Party [Jim HARRIS]; Liberal Party [Paul MARTIN]; New Democratic Party [Jack LAYTON]

International organization participation: ACCT, AfDB, APEC, ARF, AsDB, ASEAN (dialogue partner), Australia Group, BIS, C, CDB, CE (observer), EAPC, EBRD, ESA (cooperating state), FAO, G-7, G-8, G-10, IADB, IAEA, IBRD, ICAO, ICC, ICCt, ICFTU, ICRM, IDA, IEA, IFAD, IFC, IFRCS, IHO, ILO, IMF, IMO, Interpol, IOC, IOM, ISO, ITU, MIGA, MINUSTAH, MONUC, NAM (guest), NATO, NEA, NSG, OAS, OECD, OPCW, OSCE, Paris Club, PCA, UN, UNAMSIL, UNCTAD, UNDOF, UNESCO, UNFICYP, UNHCR, UNMOVIC, UNTSO, UPU, WCL, WCO, WFTU, WHO, WIPO, WMO, WToO, WTO, ZC
Flag description: two vertical bands of red (hoist and fly side, half width), with white square between them; an 11-pointed red maple leaf is centered in the white square; the official colors of Canada are red and white

Economy
Economy - overview: As an affluent, high-tech industrial society, newly entered in the trillion dollar class, Canada closely resembles the US in its market-oriented economic system, pattern of production, and affluent living standards. Since World War II, the impressive growth of the manufacturing, mining, and service sectors has transformed the nation from a largely rural economy into one primarily industrial and urban. The 1989 US-Canada Free Trade Agreement (FTA) and the 1994 North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) (which includes Mexico) touched off a dramatic increase in trade and economic integration with the US. Given its great natural resources, skilled labor force, and modern capital plant Canada enjoys solid economic prospects. Solid fiscal management has produced a long-term budget surplus which is substantially reducing the national debt, although public debate continues over how to manage the rising cost of the publicly funded healthcare system. Exports account for roughly a third of GDP. Canada enjoys a substantial trade surplus with its principal trading partner, the United States, which absorbs more than 85% of Canadian exports.

GDP: purchasing power parity - $1.023 trillion (2004 est.)
GDP - real growth rate: 2.4% (2004 est.)
GDP - per capita: purchasing power parity - $31,500 (2004 est.)
GDP - composition by sector: agriculture: 2.3%
industry: 26.4%
services: 71.3% (2004 est.)
Labor force: 17.37 million (2004)
Labor force - by occupation: agriculture 3%, manufacturing 15%, construction 5%, services 74%, other 3% (2000)

*Click on the map to see a larger version

Thursday, August 29, 2019

Red Skelton on Marriage

Red Skelton
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, then comes good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in Tucson.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for ourm anniversary.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" She said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there is water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me "In the Lake."

8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember. Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. Statistically, 100% of all divorces start with marriage.

12. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

13. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!

**Red Skelton at Wikipedia

Interesting....

Burma Scene

This is a picture of a rock formation near a lake in Burma. The photo can only be taken on a specific day once a year when the sun rays touch the rocks at a certain angle. What do you see?



Tilt your head to the left and then look at it again....

Burma Scene



Here the picture is switched to vertical:

Burma Scene

Amazing eh? Ahhh... the power of Photoshop

Hungry? Eat like a real man...

When feeling very hungry, you should pay restaurant Waldgeist in Hofheim a visit. They will serve you the biggest Schnitzel. The plates in the following pictures are the size of a pizza-plate (!). This all for very affordable prices. Every table has rolls of alu-foil, ready to be used. Those that have to use the alu-foil are considered cowards. Drinks are, unless otherwise ordered, served in 2-litre glasses and their bestseller is “Der Bembel des Todes” a 5-litre glass filled with Bacardi-Cola for only 35 Euro.




And for those that are not too fond of Schnitzels - Why not try their sausage???




If you can‘t get to Hofheim then check out these burgers!


Building your life


Building Your Life

After 30 years of building houses for Ben, a prominent land developer, Sam announced he wanted to retire, buy some land, and build a small home for himself and his wife.

Sam had hoped for a large bonus for all his years of service. Instead, Ben asked him if he would build one more house. He gave Sam plans for a lovely home located on a choice piece of land with a magnificent view. It was for a very important person, Ben said, and he urged Sam to do his best work.

Because Sam was resentful, his heart was not in the project and his work was shoddy. He ignored architectural details and even substituted inferior materials so he could pocket the difference. When the house was finished, there was a big celebration. Ben gave Sam an envelope as a parting gift.

"At last, my bonus," Sam thought.

There was no check in the envelope. Instead, it included a key and a note: "For everything you`ve done -- the house is yours!"

Sam was ashamed and embarrassed. He had not only misjudged Ben, he had betrayed his professionalism by constructing an inferior home, one that turned out to be his own.

Through our daily actions we all build the houses we will ultimately live in. Careless decisions, neglected relationships, lies, and insincerity are the shoddy workmanship and inferior materials of life-building.

Whenever we take shortcuts, we shortchange ourselves. Whenever we put in less than our best and ignore our potential for excellence, we create a future full of creaky floors, leaky roofs, and crumbling foundations.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Make A Difference


A really heartwarming movie.
Click above to watch it. Get out your kleenex!

42 Celebrities who have come out

Anderson Cooper
Click above to see them at Huffington Post.com

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Stephen Frayne - Impossiblist!

Two Types of YOGA

Yoga in india
Yoga in Saskatchewan

When women wear leather

When women wear leather
Pointing hand
Because she smells

like a New Truck!



Truck

Two tough questions!!!

Questions

Question 1:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.


Question 2:

It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A. Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B. He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C. He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be our choice? Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.


















Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt. Candidate B is Winston Churchill. Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

Is This How Stonehenge Was Constructed ?

One man raising heavy weights by gravity

Here's something that will make you wonder about all our modern technology..


Tuesday, August 27, 2019

The true test of a true believer

wwjd?An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.

He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof--and the horn--screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE TELLS IT ALL

GirlA mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"

"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied.

"It's not polite."

"OK", the little girl says, "How much do! y ou weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business."

Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

"That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

"My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend.

"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32"

The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

The mother is past surprised and shocked now. "How in heaven's name did you find that out?"

"And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce."

"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"

"Because you got an F in sex."

Funky New Linen...

Funky New Linen...
Funky New Linen...
Funky New Linen...

The chicken and the horse

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.
Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best buddies, best pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? (Yep. You betcha. There is a moral!)

'When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Harley to pick up chicks!

Finding Nimoy

Finding Nimoy

Are You A Caffeine Addict?

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Click above to take a quick test!

Monday, August 26, 2019

EQUATIONS

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Cheesy Equals

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Cheesy Equals

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

Cheesy Equals

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Cheesy Equals

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Cheesy Equals

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Cheesy Equals

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

Cheesy Equals

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Cheesy Equals

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

The Sexes in the shower

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Man in Shower

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat. Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.

Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!

Test For Dementia

Freakin Sweet"It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test."

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

So, take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it," The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you have made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and ... begin.

WELL MAYBE NOT THAT CLEAR!

1. What do you put in a toaster?






Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?








Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as Children's World. If you said "water" then proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?







Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions?????

If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?






Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated.

If you said, "Don't bury the survivors", then proceed to the next question.

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?



Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!

Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

Now pass this post along to all your "smart friends" and hope they do better than you did.

Everybody Feng Shui Tonight (Everybody Have Fun Tonight)

Everybody Feng Shui Tonight
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