Old Man On The Beach

  

R.I.P. Charles Grodin (1935 - 2021)

Actor Charles Grodin, best known for his work in movies (Beethoven, The Heart Break Kid...) and Broadway, died on Tuesday at his home in Wilton, Conn. at age 86.

Charles Grodin

Charles Grodin was an American actor, comedian, author, and former television talk show host. Grodin began his acting career in the 1960s appearing in TV serials including The Virginian. He had a small part as an obstetrician in Roman Polanski's Rosemary's Baby in 1968.

Question of the century....

If you pushed your own naked clone off the top of a tall building, would it be:

A) murder?

B) suicide? or

C) simply making an obscene clone fall?

Giggles, Gaffaws and Groaners...

The other day, I rang the Speaking Clock. It said, “What's the matter, can't you afford a watch? Are you too lazy to lift your arm up, you idiot?“

It was Greenwich Mean Time. 



My teenage son treats me like a god.

He acts like I don’t exist until he wants something. 



A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies.

The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual."

"Why is that?" the mother asked.

"We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he replied. 



Anyone want to buy some exercise equipment?

I'm having a going-out-of-fitness sale.



The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes...

And it was performed by the child sitting behind me on Delta flight 963 from LA to Tokyo. 

Joe: Every night I take two quarters to bed with me.

Peter: Whatever for?

Joe: They are my sleeping quarters.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...

Does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.

We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

A man is taking his son to buy his first car...

The son spots an old, used cop car at one of the lots. "Dad! I want that! It would be so cool! Can I test drive the cop car?" The father replies: "No, son. I want your car to have working turn signals and an accurate speedometer."

Did You Know?

 Locomotives are actually driven by ELECTRIC motors?

GM Electromotive SD70M

The diesel engine makes 3,200 horsepower, and the generator can turn this into almost 4,700 amps of electrical current. The four drive motors use this electricity to generate over 64,000 pounds of thrust. There is a completely separate V-16 engine and generator to provide electrical power for the rest of the train. This generator is called the head-end power unit. The one on this train can make over 560 kilowatts (kW) of electrical power.

This combination of diesel engine and electric generators and motors makes the locomotive a hybrid vehicle. In this article, we'll start by learning why locomotives are built this way and why they have steel wheels. Then we'll take a look at the layout and key components.

By going with a hybrid setup, the main diesel engine can run at a constant speed, turning an electrical generator. The generator sends electrical power to a traction motor at each axle, which powers the wheels. The traction motors can produce adequate torque at any speed, from a full stop to 110 mph (177 kph), without needing to change gears.

Steel Wheels

Ever wonder why trains have steel wheels, rather than tires like a car? It's to reduce rolling friction. When your car is driving on the freeway, something like 25 percent of the engine's power is being used to push the tires down the road. Tires bend and deform a lot as they roll, which uses a lot of energy.

The amount of energy used by the tires is proportional to the weight that is on them. Since a car is relatively light, this amount of energy is acceptable (you can buy low rolling-resistance tires for your car if you want to save a little gas).

Since a train weighs thousands of times more than a car, the rolling resistance is a huge factor in determining how much force it takes to pull the train.

The steel wheels on the train ride on a tiny contact patch -- the contact area between each wheel and the track is about the size of a dime, which isn't a whole lot larger than a tick:

The downside of using steel wheels is that they don't have much traction.

Traction

Traction when going around turns is not an issue because train wheels have flanges that keep them on the track. But traction when braking and accelerating is an issue.

In front of each wheel is a nozzle that uses compressed air to spray sand, which is stored in two tanks on the locomotive

This locomotive can generate 64,000 pounds of thrust. But in order for it to use this thrust effectively, the eight wheels on the locomotive have to be able to apply this thrust to the track without slipping. The locomotive uses a neat trick to increase the traction. In front of each wheel is a nozzle that uses compressed air to spray sand, which is stored in two tanks on the locomotive. The sand dramatically increases the traction of the drive wheels. The train has an electronic traction-control system that automatically starts the sand sprayers when the wheels slip or when the engineer makes an emergency stop. The system can also reduce the power of any traction motor whose wheels are slipping.

The Engine and Generator

The main engine in this locomotive is a General Motors 4,300 THP and the locomotive is equipped with EMD's 16-710G3C-T2 engine. The "710" means that each cylinder in this turbocharged, two-stroke, diesel V-16 has a displacement of 710 cubic inches (11.6 L). That's more than double the size of most of the biggest gasoline V-8 car engines -- and we're only talking about one of the 16 cylinders in this 3,200-hp engine.

The main engine in this locomotive is a General Motors EMD 710 series engine.

So why two-stroke? Even though this engine is huge, if it operated on the four-stroke diesel cycle, like most smaller diesel engines do, it would only make about half the power. This is because with the two-stroke cycle, there are twice as many combustion events (which produce the power) per revolution. It turns out that the diesel two-stoke engine is really much more elegant and efficient than the two-stroke gasoline engine.

You might be thinking, if this engine is about 24 times the size of a big V-8 car engine, and uses a two-stroke instead of a four-stroke cycle, why does it only make about 10 times the power? The reason is that this engine is designed to produce 3,200 hp continuously, and it lasts for decades. If you continuously ran the engine in your car at full power, you'd be lucky if it lasted a week.

Here are some of the specifications of this engine:

* Number of cylinders: 16
* Compression ratio: 16:1
* Displacement per cylinder: 11.6 L (710 in3)
* Cylinder bore: 230 mm (9.2 inches)
* Cylinder stroke: 279 mm (11.1 inches)
* Full speed: 904 rpm
* Normal idle speed: 269 rpm

This giant engine is hooked up to an equally impressive generator. It is about 6 feet (1.8 m) in diameter and weights about 17,700 pounds (8,029 kg). At peak power, this generator makes enough electricity to power a neighborhood of about 1,000 houses!

Here is the ELECTRIC part:

So where does all this power go? It goes into four, massive electric motors located in the trucks.

Propulsion

The traction motors provide propulsion power to the wheels. There is one on each axle.

Each motor drives a small gear, which meshes with a larger gear on the axle shaft. This provides the gear reduction that allows the motor to drive the train at speeds of up to 110 mph.

The traction motors provide propulsion power to the wheels. There is one on each axle

Each motor weighs 6,000 pounds (2,722 kg) and can draw up to 1,170 amps of electrical current.

...So now ya know!

*Howstuffworks.com

International Day Against Homophobia May 17 (This year and every year until homophobia is eradicated)

Homophobia is an insidious phenomenon that has succeeded in taking hold in a subtle, discreet and often invisible manner. Nobody is really immune from hostile manifestations toward homosexuality. And, surprisingly, some homosexual persons are adopting homophobic behaviour to shield themselves from negative reactions that others might have. The International Day Against Homophobia will try to reach out to everybody regardless of sexual orientation.  

May 17th: May 17th is symbolic due to its significance in the improvement of the status of gays and lesbians. IDAHO proposed this date for annually holding a day set aside to fight homophobia. In removing homosexuality from its list of mental illnesses on a May 17, the World Health Organisation (WHO) put an end to over a century of homophobia in the medical field. Borne out of the International Conference on LGBT Community Human Rights held in Montréal from July 26 to 29, 2006, prior to the opening of the first World Outgames, the Declaration of Montréal included a recommendation to have an International Day Against Homophobia on May 17 of each year recognised.

Donate Today at http://www.homophobiaday.org/

Cool Illusion

The Stonewall Riots

June marks the beginnings of the gay movement. The exact date is etched in our history. June 27, 1969. It was the day gays realized they had power and no longer had to take harassment. It was the day of the Stonewall riots in New York's Greenwich Village.

But, Stonewall was not an isolated moment.

It was the sixties, when all minorities were exerting their claims to liberation. The black movement. The women's movement. The anti-war movement. It is impossible to look at any of them as single events.

Frank Kameny coined the slogan "Gay is Good" in 1968 in clear imitation of "Black is Beautiful." Whatever else "Black is Beautiful" meant, it meant that equality should not depend on becoming identical to the dominant majority.

On Friday, June 27, 1969, eight officers from the public morals section of the first division New York City Police Department pulled up in front of the Stonewall Inn, one of the city's largest and most popular gay bars. Inside, dozens of gays were mourning the death of Judy Garland who was buried the day before.

At the time, the vice squad routinely raided gay bars. Patrons always complied with the police, frightened by the prospect of being identified in the newspaper. But this particular Friday night at the Stonewall Inn was different. It sparked a revolution, and a hidden subculture was transformed into a vibrant political movement. What began with a drag queen clobbering her arresting officer soon escalated into a full-fledged riot, and modern gay activism was born.

Here is an account from the New York Daily News the day after.

 

Homo Nest Raided, Queen Bees Are Stinging Mad
Reprinted from "The New York Daily News," July 6, 1969
By JERRY LISKER

She sat there with her legs crossed, the lashes of her mascara-coated eyes beating like the wings of a hummingbird. She was angry. She was so upset she hadn't bothered to shave. A day old stubble was beginning to push through the pancake makeup. She was a he. A queen of Christopher Street.

Last weekend the queens had turned commandos and stood bra strap to bra strap against an invasion of the helmeted Tactical Patrol Force. The elite police squad had shut down one of their private gay clubs, the Stonewall Inn at 57 Christopher St., in the heart of a three-block homosexual community in Greenwich Village. Queen Power reared its bleached blonde head in revolt. New York City experienced its first homosexual riot. "We may have lost the battle, sweets, but the war is far from over," lisped an unofficial lady-in-waiting from the court of the Queens.

"We've had all we can take from the Gestapo," the spokesman, or spokeswoman, continued. "We're putting our foot down once and for all." The foot wore a spiked heel. According to reports, the Stonewall Inn, a two-story structure with a sand painted brick and opaque glass facade, was a mecca for the homosexual element in the village who wanted nothing but a private little place where they could congregate, drink, dance and do whatever little girls do when they get together.

The thick glass shut out the outside world of the street. Inside, the Stonewall bathed in wild, bright psychedelic lights, while the patrons writhed to the sounds of a juke box on a square dance floor surrounded by booths and tables. The bar did a good business and the waiters, or waitresses, were always kept busy, as they snaked their way around the dancing customers to the booths and tables. For nearly two years, peace and tranquility reigned supreme for the Alice in Wonderland clientele.

The Raid Last Friday
Last Friday the privacy of the Stonewall was invaded by police from the First Division. It was a raid. They had a warrant. After two years, police said they had been informed that liquor was being served on the premises. Since the Stonewall was without a license, the place was being closed. It was the law.
All hell broke loose when the police entered the Stonewall. The girls instinctively reached for each other. Others stood frozen, locked in an embrace of fear.

Only a handful of police were on hand for the initial landing in the homosexual beachhead. They ushered the patrons out onto Christopher Street, just off Sheridan Square. A crowd had formed in front of the Stonewall and the customers were greeted with cheers of encouragement from the gallery.

The whole proceeding took on the aura of a homosexual Academy Awards Night. The Queens pranced out to the street blowing kisses and waving to the crowd. A beauty of a specimen named Stella wailed uncontrollably while being led to the sidewalk in front of the Stonewall by a cop. She later confessed that she didn't protest the manhandling by the officer, it was just that her hair was in curlers and she was afraid her new beau might be in the crowd and spot her. She didn't want him to see her this way, she wept.

Queen Power
The crowd began to get out of hand, eye witnesses said. Then, without warning, Queen Power exploded with all the fury of a gay atomic bomb. Queens, princesses and ladies-in-waiting began hurling anything they could get their polished, manicured fingernails on. Bobby pins, compacts, curlers, lipstick tubes and other femme fatale missiles were flying in the direction of the cops. The war was on. The lilies of the valley had become carnivorous jungle plants.

Urged on by cries of "C'mon girls, lets go get'em," the defenders of Stonewall launched an attack. The cops called for assistance. To the rescue came the Tactical Patrol Force.

Flushed with the excitement of battle, a fellow called Gloria pranced around like Wonder Woman, while several Florence Nightingales administered first aid to the fallen warriors. There were some assorted scratches and bruises, but nothing serious was suffered by the honeys turned Madwoman of Chaillot.

Official reports listed four injured policemen with 13 arrests. The War of the Roses lasted about 2 hours from about midnight to 2 a.m. There was a return bout Wednesday night.

Two veterans recently recalled the battle and issued a warning to the cops. "If they close up all the gay joints in this area, there is going to be all out war."

Bruce and Nan
Both said they were refugees from Indiana and had come to New York where they could live together happily ever after. They were in their early 20's. They preferred to be called by their married names, Bruce and Nan.
"I don't like your paper," Nan lisped matter-of-factly. "It's anti-fag and pro-cop."

"I'll bet you didn't see what they did to the Stonewall. Did the pigs tell you that they smashed everything in sight? Did you ask them why they stole money out of the cash register and then smashed it with a sledge hammer? Did you ask them why it took them two years to discover that the Stonewall didn't have a liquor license."

Bruce nodded in agreement and reached over for Nan's trembling hands.

"Calm down, doll," he said. "Your face is getting all flushed."

Nan wiped her face with a tissue.

"This would have to happen right before the wedding. The reception was going to be held at the Stonewall, too," Nan said, tossing her ashen-tinted hair over her shoulder.

"What wedding?," the bystander asked.

Nan frowned with a how-could-anybody-be-so-stupid look. "Eric and Jack's wedding, of course. They're finally tieing the knot. I thought they'd never get together."

Meet Shirley
"We'll have to find another place, that's all there is to it," Bruce sighed. "But every time we start a place, the cops break it up sooner or later."
"They let us operate just as long as the payoff is regular," Nan said bitterly. "I believe they closed up the Stonewall because there was some trouble with the payoff to the cops. I think that's the real reason. It's a shame. It was such a lovely place. We never bothered anybody. Why couldn't they leave us alone?"

Shirley Evans, a neighbor with two children, agrees that the Stonewall was not a rowdy place and the persons who frequented the club were never troublesome. She lives at 45 Christopher St.

"Up until the night of the police raid there was never any trouble there," she said. "The homosexuals minded their own business and never bothered a soul. There were never any fights or hollering, or anything like that. They just wanted to be left alone. I don't know what they did inside, but that's their business. I was never in there myself. It was just awful when the police came. It was like a swarm of hornets attacking a bunch of butterflies."

A reporter visited the now closed Stonewall and it indeed looked like a cyclone had struck the premisses.

Police said there were over 200 people in the Stonewall when they entered with a warrant. The crowd outside was estimated at 500 to 1,000. According to police, the Stonewall had been under observation for some time. Being a private club, plain clothesmen were refused entrance to the inside when they periodically tried to check the place. "They had the tightest security in the Village," a First Division officer said, "We could never get near the place without a warrant."

Police Talk
The men of the First Division were unable to find any humor in the situation, despite the comical overtones of the raid.
"They were throwing more than lace hankies," one inspector said. "I was almost decapitated by a slab of thick glass. It was thrown like a discus and just missed my throat by inches. The beer can didn't miss, though, "it hit me right above the temple."

Police also believe the club was operated by Mafia connected owners. The police did confiscate the Stonewall's cash register as proceeds from an illegal operation. The receipts were counted and are on file at the division headquarters. The warrant was served and the establishment closed on the grounds it was an illegal membership club with no license, and no license to serve liquor.

The police are sure of one thing. They haven't heard the last from the Girls of Christopher Street.

WindowsWindows

ADHD Linked To Lead, Smoking

*by Lindsey Tanner, Associated Press

(Chicago, Illinois) About one-third of attention deficit cases among U.S. children may be linked with tobacco smoke before birth or to lead exposure afterward, according to provocative new research.  Even levels of lead the government considers acceptable appeared to increase a child's risk of having attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, the study found. 

It builds on previous research linking attention problems, including ADHD, with childhood lead exposure and smoking during pregnancy, and offers one of the first estimates for how much those environmental factors might contribute. 

"It's a landmark paper that quantifies the number of cases of ADHD that can be attributed to very important environmental exposures," said Dr. Leo Trasande, assistant director of the Center for Children's Health and the Environment at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York. 

More importantly, the study bolsters suspicions that low-level lead exposure previously linked to behavior problems "is in fact associated with ADHD," said Trasande, who was not involved in the research. 

The study's estimate is in line with a National Academy of Sciences report in 2000 that said about 3 percent of all developmental and neurological disorders in U.S. children are caused by toxic chemicals and other environmental factors and 25 percent are due to a combination of environmental factors and genetics. 

"The findings of this study underscore the profound behavioral health impact of these prevalent exposures, and highlight the need to strengthen public health efforts to reduce prenatal tobacco smoke exposure and childhood lead exposure," said the authors, led by researcher Joe Braun of the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. 

The study was to be published online Tuesday in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives. 

ADHD is a brain disorder affecting between 4 percent and 12 percent of school-age children - or as many as 3.8 million youngsters. Affected children often have trouble sitting still and paying attention and act impulsively at home and at school. Researchers aren't certain about its causes but believe genetics and environmental factors including prenatal exposure to alcohol, tobacco or illicit drugs may play a role. 

Dr. Helen Binns, a researcher at Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago, said the study is a thoughtful analysis but doesn't prove lead exposure is among the causes. It's possible, for example, that young children with ADHD are more likely than others to eat old leaded paint chips or inhale leaded paint dust because of their hyperactivity. 

The researchers analyzed data on nearly 4,000 U.S. children ages 4 to 15 who were part of a 1999-2002 government health survey. Included were 135 children treated for ADHD.

They asked whether mothers had smoked during pregnancy but used blood tests to determine lead exposure, said co-author Dr. Bruce Lanphear, a researcher at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center. Children whose mothers smoked during pregnancy were 2 1/2 times more likely to have ADHD than children who weren't prenatally exposed to tobacco.  Children with blood lead levels of more than 2 micrograms per deciliter were four times more likely to have ADHD than children with levels below 0.8 microgram per deciliter. The government's "acceptable" blood lead level is 10 micrograms per deciliter, and an estimated 310,000 U.S. children ages 1 to 5 have levels exceeding that. 

Based on study estimates, more than 5 million 4-to-15-year-olds nationwide have levels higher than 2 micrograms per deciliter, Lanphear said. 

Trasande said the study adds further proof that the government should lower its threshold for safe lead exposure. 

Exposure to tobacco smoke after birth was not associated with increased ADHD risks, even though childhood exposure to lead was. 

"Saying there are different periods of vulnerability to different toxins is perfectly plausible," said Dr. Robert Geller, a pediatric toxicologist at Emory University. 

"There may be very specific periods of vulnerability," depending on when the developing brain is exposed, Geller said.

The 25 worst tech products of all time

 

1. America Online (1989-2006) How do we loathe AOL? Let us count the ways. Since America Online emerged from the belly of a BBS called Quantum "PC-Link" in 1989, users have suffered through awful software, inaccessible dial-up numbers, rapacious marketing, in-your-face advertising, questionable billing practices, inexcusably poor customer service and enough spam to last a lifetime. And, all the while, AOL remained more expensive than its major competitors. This lethal combination earned the world's biggest ISP the top spot on our list of bottom feeders. But at least they provided us with all those free coffee cup coasters and mobiles.. 

2. RealNetworks RealPlayer (1999) A frustrating inability to play media files--due in part to constantly changing file formats--was only part of Real's problem. RealPlayer also had a disturbing way of making itself a little too much at home on your PC--installing itself as the default media player, taking liberties with your Windows Registry, popping up annoying "messages" that were really just advertisements and so on. 

3. Syncronys SoftRAM (1995) Back in 1995, when RAM cost $30 to $50 a megabyte and Windows 95 apps were demanding more and more of it, the idea of "doubling" your system memory by installing a $30 piece of software sounded mighty tempting. The 700,000 users who bought Syncronys's SoftRAM products certainly thought so. Unfortunately, that's not what they got. 

4. Microsoft Windows Millennium (2000) This might be the worst version of Windows ever released--or, at least, since the dark days of Windows 2.0. Windows Millennium Edition (a.k.a. Me, or the Mistake Edition) was Microsoft's follow-up to Windows 98 SE for home users. Shortly after Me appeared in late 2000, users reported problems installing it, getting it to run, getting it to work with other hardware or software and getting it to stop running. Aside from that, Me worked great. To its credit, Me introduced features later made popular by Windows XP, such as system restore. Unfortunately, it could also restore files you never wanted to see again, like viruses that you'd just deleted. Forget Y2K; this was the real millennium bug. 

5. Sony BMG Music CDs (2005) When you stick a music CD into your computer, you shouldn't have to worry that it will turn your PC into a hacker's plaything. But that's exactly what Sony BMG Music Entertainment's music discs did in 2005. The discs' harebrained copy protection software installed a rootkit that made it invisible even to antispyware or antivirus software. Any moderately clever cyber attacker could then use the same rootkit to hide, say, a keylogger to capture your bank account information, or a remote-access Trojan to turn your PC into a zombie. 

6. Disney The Lion King CD-ROM (1994) Few products get accused of killing Christmas for thousands of kids, but that fate befell Disney's first CD-ROM for Windows. The problem: the game relied on Microsoft's new WinG graphics engine, and video card drivers had to be hand-tuned to work with it, says Alex St. John. He's currently CEO of game publisher WildTangent, but in the early 1990s he was Microsoft's first "game evangelist". In late 1994, Compaq released a Presario whose video drivers hadn't been tested with WinG. When parents loaded the Lion King disc into their new Presarios on Christmas morning, many children got their first glimpse of the Blue Screen of Death. But this sad story has a happy ending. The WinG debacle led Microsoft to develop a more stable and powerful graphics engine called DirectX. And the team behind DirectX went on to build the Xbox--restoring holiday joy for a new generation of kids. 

7. Microsoft Bob (1995) No list of the worst of the worst would be complete without Windows'a idiot cousin, Bob. Designed as a "social" interface for Windows 3.1, Bob featured a living room filled with clickable objects, and a series of cartoon "helpers", like Chaos the Cat and Scuzz the Rat, that walked you through a small suite of applications. Fortunately, Bob was soon buried in the avalanche of hype surrounding Windows 95, though some of the cartoons lived on to annoy users of Microsoft Office and Windows XP (Clippy the animated paper clip, anyone?). 

8. Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 (2001) Full of features, easy to use and a virtual engraved invitation to hackers and other digital delinquents, Internet Explorer 6.x might be the least secure software on the planet. How insecure? In June 2004, the U.S. Computer Emergency Readiness Team (CERT) took the unusual step of urging PC users to use a browser--any browser--other than IE. Their reason: IE users who visited the wrong website could end up infected with the Scob or Download.Ject keylogger, which could be used to steal their passwords and other personal information. Microsoft patched that hole, and the next one, and the one after that, and so on, ad infinitum. 

9. Pressplay and MusicNet (2002) Digital music is such a great idea that even record companies, finally, begrudgingly accepted it after years of implacable opposition. In 2002, two online services backed by music industry giants proposed giving consumers a legitimate alternative to illegal file sharing. But, the services' stunningly brain-dead features showed that the record companies still didn't get it. 

10. Ashton-Tate dBASE IV (1988) In the early days of the PC, dBASE was synonymous with database. By the late 1980s, Ashton-Tate's flagship product owned nearly 70 percent of the PC database market. But, dBASE IV changed all that. Impossibly slow and filled with more bugs than a rain forest, the $795 program was an unmitigated disaster. 

11. Priceline Groceries and Gas (2000) The name-your-price model worked for airline tickets, rental cars and hotels--why not groceries and gas? Unfortunately, even Priceline spokescaptain William Shatner couldn't keep these services in orbit. Grocery shoppers could find real discounts bidding for products online, but only if they weren't picky about brands and were willing to follow Byzantine rules on what they could buy and how they paid for them. 

12. PointCast Network (1996) Back in the mid-90s, so-called "push" technology was all the rage. In place of surfing the web for news and information, push apps like the PointCast Network would deliver customized information directly to your desktop--along with a healthy serving of ads. But, push quickly turned into a drag, as PointCast's endless appetite for bandwidth overwhelmed dial-up connections and clogged corporate networks. 

13. IBM PCjr. (1984) Talk about your bastard offspring. IBM's attempt to build an inexpensive computer for homes and schools was an orphan almost from the start. The infamous "Chiclet" keyboard on the PCjr. was virtually unusable for typing, and the computer couldn't run much of the software written for its hugely successful parent, the IBM PC. A price tag nearly twice that of competing home systems from Commodore and Atari didn't improve the situation. Two years after Junior's splashy debut, IBM sent him to his room and never let him out again. 

14. Gateway 2000 10th Anniversary PC (1995) After a decade as one of the computer industry's major PC builders, the folks at Gateway 2000 wanted to celebrate--not just by popping a few corks, but by offering a specially configured system to show some customer appreciation. But, instead of Cristal champagne, buyers got Boone's Farm--the so-called 6X CD-ROM spun at 4X or slower (a big performance hit in 1995), the video card was a crippled version of what people thought they were getting, and the surround-sound speakers weren't actually surround-capable. Perhaps Gateway was sticking to the traditional gift for a tenth anniversary: it's tin, not gold. 

15. Iomega Zip Drive (1998) Click-click-click. That was the sound of data dying on thousands of Iomega Zip drives. Though Iomega sold tens of millions of Zip and Jaz drives that worked flawlessly, thousands of the drives died mysteriously, issuing a clicking noise as the drive head became misaligned and clipped the edge of the removable media, rendering any data on that disc permanently inaccessible. 

16. Comet Systems Comet Cursor (1997) Thank CometCursor for introducing spyware to an ungrateful nation. This simple program had one purpose: to change your mouse cursor into Bart Simpson, Dilbert or one of thousands of other cutesy icons while you were visiting certain websites. But, Comet had other habits that were not so cute. For example, it assigned your computer a unique ID and phoned home whenever you visited a Comet-friendly website. When you visited certain sites, it could install itself into Internet Explorer without your knowledge or explicit consent. And it was bundled with RealPlayer 7 (yet another reason to loathe RealPlayer). Some versions would hijack IE's search assistant or cause the browser to crash. 

17. Apple Macintosh Portable (1989) Some buildings are portable, if you have access to a Freightliner. Stonehenge is a portable sun dial, if you have enough people on hand to get things rolling. And, in 1989, Apple offered a "portable" Macintosh--a 4-inch-thick, 16-pound beast that severely strained the definition of "laptop"--and the aching backs of its porters. Huge lead-acid batteries contributed to its weight and bulk; the batteries were especially important because Portable wouldn't run on AC power. Some computers are affordable too; the Portable met that description only if you had $6500 of extra cash on hand. 

18. IBM Deskstar 75GXP (2000) Fast, big and highly unreliable, this 75GB hard drive was quickly dubbed the "Deathstar" for its habit of suddenly failing and taking all of your data with it. About a year after IBM released the Deskstar, users filed a class action suit, alleging that IBM had misled customers about its reliability. IBM denied all liability, but last June it agreed to pay $100 to Deskstar owners whose drives and data had departed their desks and gone on to a celestial reward. Well before that, IBM had washed its hands of the Deathstar, selling its hard drive division to Hitachi in 2002. 

19. OQO Model 1 (2004) The 14-ounce OQO Model 1 billed itself as the "world's smallest Windows XP computer"--and that was a big part of its problem. You needed a magnifying glass to read icons or text on its 5-by-3-inch screen, and the hide-away keypad was too tiny to accommodate even two adult fingers. The Model 1 also ran hot to the touch, and at $1900+ it could easily burn a hole in your wallet. Good things often come in small packages, but not this time. 

20. DigitalConvergence CueCat (2000) Appearing at the tail end of the dot com craze, the CueCat was supposed to make it easier for magazine and newspaper readers to find advertisers' websites (because apparently it was too challenging to type www.pepsi.com into your browser). The company behind the device, DigitalConvergence, mailed hundreds of thousands of these cat-shaped bar-code scanners to subscribers of magazines and newspapers. Readers were supposed to connect the device to a computer, install some software, scan the barcodes inside the ads and be whiskered away to advertisers' websites. Another "benefit": the company used the device to gather personally identifiable information about its users. 

21. Eyetop Wearable DVD Player (2004) Some things just aren't meant to be done while walking or driving, and one of them is watching DVDs. Unfortunately, that message was lost on Eyetop.net, makers of the Eyetop Wearable DVD Player. This system consisted of a standard portable DVD player attached to a pair of heavy-duty shades that had a tiny 320-by-240-pixel LCD embedded in the right eyepiece. You were supposed to carry the DVD player and battery pack in an over-the shoulder sling, put on the eyeglasses, and then... squint. Or maybe wear a patch on your left eye as you walked and watched at the same time. Up close, the LCD was supposed to simulate a 14-inch screen. Unfortunately, the only thing the Eyetop stimulated was motion sickness. 

22. Apple Pippin @World (1996) Before Xbox, before PlayStation, before DreamCast, there was Apple's Pippin. Wha-huh? That's right--Apple had an internet-capable game console that connected to your TV. But, it ran on a weak PowerPC processor and came with a puny 14.4-kbps modem, so it was stupendously slow offline and online. Then, too, it was based on the Mac OS, so almost no games were available for it. And it cost nearly $600--nearly twice as much as other, far more powerful game consoles. Underpowered, overpriced and underutilized--that pretty much describes everything that came out of Apple in the mid-90s. 

23. Free PCs (1999) In the late 90s, companies competed to dangle free PCs in front of you: all you had to do was sign up, and a PC would eventually show up at your door. But, one way or another, there was always a catch: you had to sign up for a long-term ISP agreement, or tolerate an endless procession of web ads or surrender reams of personal information. Free-PC.com may have been the creepiest of them all. First, you filled out an extensive questionnaire on your income, interests, racial and marital status, and more. Then, you had to spend at least 10 hours a week on the PC and at least 1 hour surfing the web using Free-PC's ISP. In return, you got a low-end Compaq Presario with roughly a third of the screen covered in ads. And, while you watched the PC (and the ads), Free-PC watched you--recording where you surfed, what software you used and who knows what else. 

24. DigiScents iSmell (2001) Few products literally stink, but this one did--or at least it would have, had it progressed beyond the prototype stage. In 2001, DigiScents unveiled the iSmell, a shark-fin-shaped gizmo that plugged into your PC's USB port and wafted appropriate scents as you surfed smell-enabled websites--say, perfume as you were browsing Chanel.com, or cheese doodles at Frito-Lay.com. But, skeptical users turned up their noses at the idea, making the iSmell the ultimate in vapourware. 

25. Sharp RD3D Notebook (2004) As the first "autostereo" 3D notebook, Sharp's RD3D was supposed to display 3D images without requiring the use of funny glasses. But, "auto-headache" was more like it, as the RD3D was painful to look at. When you pressed the button to enable 3D mode, the notebook's performance slowed, and the 3D effect was noticeable only within a very narrow angle-and, if you moved your head, it disappeared. Maybe the funny glasses weren't so bad after all.

*ITWorldCanada

A Man Is Like A Deck Of Playing Cards...

 

The Rainbow Flag

 

Color has long played an important role in our communities' history and expression of pride. In Victorian England, for example, the color green was associated with homosexuality. The color purple (or, more accurately, lavender) became popularized for the lesbian and gay communities with "Purple Power". And, of course there are the pink and black triangles. The pink triangle was first used by Hitler to identify gay males in Nazi concentration camps, and the black triangle was similarly used to identify lesbians and others deemed "asocial". The pink and black triangle symbols were reclaimed by our communities in the early 1980s to signify our strength of spirit and willingness to survive oppression. 

As we gain acceptance of our rights, the symbols of oppression are gradually being replaced by the symbols of celebration. By far the most colorful of our symbols is the Rainbow flag, and its rainbow of colors - red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple, which represent the diversity of our communities. The first rainbow flag was designed in 1978 by Gilbert Baker, a San Francisco artist, in response to calls by activists for a symbol for the community. Baker used the five-striped "Flag of the Race" as his inspiration, and designed a flag with eight stripes: pink, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. These colors were intended to represent respectively: sexuality, life, healing, sun, nature, art, harmony, and spirit. Baker dyed and sewed the material for the first flag himself - reminiscent of Betsy Ross and the creation of the US Flag. 

When Baker approached a company to mass-produce the flags, he found out that "hot pink" was not commercially available. The flag was then reduced to seven stripes. In November 1978, San Francisco's lesbian, gay and bisexual community was stunned when the city's first openly gay supervisor, Harvey Milk, was assassinated. Wanting to demonstrate the gay community's strength and solidarity in the aftermath of the tragedy, the Pride Committee decided to use Baker's flag. The indigo stripe was eliminated so that the colors could be divided evenly along the parade route - three colours on one side and three on the other. Soon the six colors were incorporated into a six-striped version that became popularized and that, today is recognized by the International Congress of Flag Makers. The flag has become an international symbol of pride and the diversity our communities. 

WHAT THE RAINBOW FLAG SIGNIFIES A symbol of pride The rainbow flag, symbol of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered pride. Pride at having not only survived, but thrived in a world which has often been a hostile place. It is pride in being who we are, it is pride in becoming a full and equal citizen of Canada, it is pride in standing up for what we believe in. 

A symbol of hope In addition to being the symbol of pride, the rainbow is a symbol of hope. Tremendous progress has been made in the fight for equal rights. Step by step, lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgendered people are obtaining recognition as equal members of Canadian society, in big cities and in towns and villages across Canada. Our anti-gay opponents are becoming frustrated because their hate cannot defeat our love. Things are not perfect, but the progress we are making is extraordinary...and the rainbow affirms our hopes for an even better future. 

A symbol of diversity Finally, the rainbow is a symbol of diversity. Although myths and stereotypes portray all gays and lesbians as having a single, monolithic "agenda", the reality is that ours is an extraordinarily diverse community. Across all races and cultural backgrounds, across all languages, with or without disabilities, across all religions, our communities continue to flourish. Sometimes, our own communities are divided between gay and lesbian, between "gay" and "queer", between those in big cities and those in the suburbs and small towns, between "assimilationists" and those who want to live apart from the mainstream. While diversity poses its challenges, it is also enriching. There are as many opinions as there are people. There is no lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered "lifestyle", there are only lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered people. Millions of us, each one unique. This is our strength. So, why should we bother?

Because some governments will not allow us to marry the person of our choice; animated  rainbow flag

Color has long played an important role in our communities' history and expression of pride. In Victorian England, for example, the color green was associated with homosexuality. The color purple (or, more accurately, lavender) became popularized for the lesbian and gay communities with "Purple Power". And, of course there are the pink and black triangles. The pink triangle was first used by Hitler to identify gay males in Nazi concentration camps, and the black triangle was similarly used to identify lesbians and others deemed "asocial". The pink and black triangle symbols were reclaimed by our communities in the early 1980s to signify our strength of spirit and willingness to survive oppression. 

As we gain acceptance of our rights, the symbols of oppression are gradually being replaced by the symbols of celebration. By far the most colorful of our symbols is the Rainbow flag, and its rainbow of colors - red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple, which represent the diversity of our communities. The first rainbow flag was designed in 1978 by Gilbert Baker, a San Francisco artist, in response to calls by activists for a symbol for the community. Baker used the five-striped "Flag of the Race" as his inspiration, and designed a flag with eight stripes: pink, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. These colors were intended to represent respectively: sexuality, life, healing, sun, nature, art, harmony, and spirit. Baker dyed and sewed the material for the first flag himself - reminiscent of Betsy Ross and the creation of the US Flag. 

When Baker approached a company to mass-produce the flags, he found out that "hot pink" was not commercially available. The flag was then reduced to seven stripes. In November 1978, San Francisco's lesbian, gay and bisexual community was stunned when the city's first openly gay supervisor, Harvey Milk, was assassinated. Wanting to demonstrate the gay community's strength and solidarity in the aftermath of the tragedy, the Pride Committee decided to use Baker's flag. The indigo stripe was eliminated so that the colors could be divided evenly along the parade route - three colours on one side and three on the other. Soon the six colors were incorporated into a six-striped version that became popularized and that, today is recognized by the International Congress of Flag Makers. The flag has become an international symbol of pride and the diversity our communities. 

WHAT THE RAINBOW FLAG SIGNIFIES A symbol of pride The rainbow flag, symbol of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered pride. Pride at having not only survived, but thrived in a world which has often been a hostile place. It is pride in being who we are, it is pride in becoming a full and equal citizen of Canada, it is pride in standing up for what we believe in. 

A symbol of hope In addition to being the symbol of pride, the rainbow is a symbol of hope. Tremendous progress has been made in the fight for equal rights. Step by step, lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgendered people are obtaining recognition as equal members of Canadian society, in big cities and in towns and villages across Canada. Our anti-gay opponents are becoming frustrated because their hate cannot defeat our love. Things are not perfect, but the progress we are making is extraordinary...and the rainbow affirms our hopes for an even better future. 

A symbol of diversity Finally, the rainbow is a symbol of diversity. Although myths and stereotypes portray all gays and lesbians as having a single, monolithic "agenda", the reality is that ours is an extraordinarily diverse community. Across all races and cultural backgrounds, across all languages, with or without disabilities, across all religions, our communities continue to flourish. Sometimes, our own communities are divided between gay and lesbian, between "gay" and "queer", between those in big cities and those in the suburbs and small towns, between "assimilationists" and those who want to live apart from the mainstream. While diversity poses its challenges, it is also enriching. There are as many opinions as there are people. There is no lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered "lifestyle", there are only lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered people. Millions of us, each one unique. This is our strength. So, why should we bother?

Because some governments will not allow us to marry the person of our choice; animated  rainbow flag

Because people are still denied jobs, promotions or denied accommodation because of their sexual orientation; 

 Because gay teenagers are disproportionately at risk of suicide; 

 Because Canadians are still beaten or murdered for being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered; 

 Because we are still made to feel uncomfortable when holding the hand of a partner while walking down the street; 

 Because our materials are still censored by the government and banned from schools;  Because our relationships remain unrecognized in hundreds of federal, provincial and territorial laws. 

BY CELEBRATING PRIDE TOGETHER, WE REMEMBER OUR PAST, AFFIRM OUR FUTURE AND PROVIDE IMPORTANT VISIBILITY WHICH ADVANCES OUR STRUGGLE FOR EQUALITY.

MEMO:

Dear Employee,

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.

Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.

Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the next fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.

This program will be known as SLAP (Severance of Late-Aged Personnel).

Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.

SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program will be called SCREW.

SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Elderly Workers).

All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.

This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).

Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.

If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get:

HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).

As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.

Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our: Special High Intensity Training (SHIT).

We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.

Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand.

And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us!


Human Resources

What The Hell?

Update: It appears that this issue may have been corrected. I contacted several readers and they have no problem accessing 'OZ'. But its one of those things that one never really knows as most people will just believe the site has phishing involved (again, it DOES NOT). We will see how the traffic is affected. If there is a major drop its still an issue.

All my pictures on 'OZ' are being blocked saying they come from a suspicious website - they of course do not they are from Blogger and Google. I hope they fix this issues asap! So for now at least no pictures on my blog! This is bad! I pride myself on a quality blog...

This has happened after Firefox and Chrome were updated. Not sure what's triggering this but I can tell you, I do NOT phish or have any malware on this site! I am looking into this. You can force pictures to load by proceeding and ignoring the warning. I am hopeful this issue will be addressed and 'OZ' will be exonerated.

>8-(

 The Wizard

Ukrainian Fire Department Story

One dark night outside a small town in Saskatchewan, a fire started inside the local sausage plant and in a blink it exploded into massive flames. 

The alarm went out to all the fire departments from miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. 

They must be saved and I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact." 

But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files. From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. 

It was the nearby Dauphin-Yorkton rural township volunteer fire department composed mainly of Ukrainians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Ukrainians, passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant... and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. 

Outside the other firemen watched as the Ukrainian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the Yorkton old-timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Ukrainian firefighters. 

The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on film sking, "What are you going to do with all that money?" "Vell," said Nick Sputski, the 70-year-old fire chief,"..... da furst thing vee gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck."

TGIF!

 

Life's Been Good - Joe Walsh Feat. Daryl Hall

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.

Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing cricket without a box.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND;


He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . ..... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . .. I would but you're never there.

He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said .. . They don't have time

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.

She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

From The Emerald City

Hey folks, 

Overall 'OZ's traffic has been steady at around 11K to 14K visitors per month, way down from my heyday of 200K in a month many years ago. Granted, there's a lot more websites out there so less people end up getting attracted to 'OZ'. And there are now so many blogs out there that 'OZ' is lost in the crowd! I am hoping my visitor count doesn't continue dropping. There was no difference when I changed posting to 3/day rather than 6/day. And of course my regular readers still come to 'OZ'. 

What do you think I can do to attract more visitors? Let me know in the comments or use the Contact The Wizard form on the left side of 'OZ'.

Thanks!

The Wizard

 

Truth in advertising...

$10,000

06' Suzuki GSXR 1000

Farmington, UT 84025 - Aug 7, 2006

2006 Suzuki 1000. This bike is perfect! It has 1000 miles and has had its 500 mile dealer service. (Expensive) It's been adult ridden, all wheels have always been on the ground. I use it as a cruiser/commuter. I'm selling it because it was purchased without proper consent of a loving wife. Apparently "do whatever the f *** you want" doesn't mean what I thought. Call me, Steve. (801)867-8292

Bean Jovi

 

Golden Girls on the pandemic

 

Three Good Friends

"Three good friends went for a swim.

The one who was fat wished she was thin.

The one who was curvy wished she was clever.

The one who was clever wished she swam better.

The really great swimmer wished she was witty.

The one who was witty wished she was pretty.

All three friends thought the other two were just fine. 

If only they could let their own bright light shine. 

So throw on your swimsuit if you're fat or you're thin. 

Enjoy fun and friendship .... love the skin that you're in! "

The World's Worst Website Ever!

 How many of these are you guilty of?

Click above to visit it

For a list of all errors or atrocities click here

Here is another example: 

Click above to visit it

 

The Recycle Bin (a.k.a. Trash)

In my opinion the Recycle Bin is the greatest innovation in computer desktop history. I can't count the number of times it has saved me from losing data! There is one in Windows, MAC and Linux... It's always on the desktop of my Ubuntu PC's.

LOL

In computing, the trash is temporary storage for files that have been deleted from file manager by the user, but not yet permanently erased from the file system. Typically, a recycle bin is presented as a special file directory to the user, allowing the user to browse deleted files, undelete those that were deleted by mistake, or delete them permanently.

CARNATION MILK

A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farm since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.

When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores back in the 1940's, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with "Carnation Milk is best of all...."

She thought to herself, I know all about milk and dairy farms. I can do this!

She sent in her entry, and a bout a week later, a black limo drove up in front of her house. A man got out and said, "Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $1000, even though we will not be able to use it."

Here is her entry:

From The Emerald City

Not speaking or reading English? The Wizard has heard your request!

I realize that only about 3/4 of my readers speak English. Or some are just more comfortable reading it in their native language. I have added a Translate button (Powered by Google Translate) so you can translate 'OZ' into your native language. Choose from 109 different languages. Click on the link in the left hand margin of 'OZ' - pick a language. "Easy-Peasy Ooh So Breezy!"

Note: The above is just a picture. Use the one on the left hand side of 'OZ'

 

 

Thanks and Happy Translating!

The Wizard

P.S. Go ahead and play with it. It's fascinating when looking at other languages. Some SO complex, how do people learn them?