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Monday, October 22, 2018

PRESENCE By Tayha Hanson

Tayha Hanson
Soul Voice® Practitioner
Website: www.soulsoundpyramid.com
Blog: www.soulsoundpyramid.blogspot.ca

I hosted a weekly sound bath event one Sunday evening. Nobody showed up. I sat in solitude in my sacred space with soft crystal light, a glowing candle and the scent of frankincense burning, and sounded. Connecting to the subtle frequencies in the heartmosphere, I used my voice and focused intention to create a container for humanity to open to love, compassion, and a deeper connection to themselves and each other. Diving deep into an ocean of breath, I filled my reserve and then poured sound frequencies out into the room. Suddenly, I was no longer alone but accompanied by the presence of my soul tribe, my guides, and the Earth herself.

There is something moving in the undercurrent: in the spaces between people and the breath between words; across great distances on Earth and in the cosmos; in a single heartbeat; a cry; a whisper; in silence. As human-doings in a three dimensional, materialistic and dualistic world, being and presence provide an invisible dimension, rich and ripe. Humans only use a portion of our brains and with that a mere sliver of our potential in body, sense, and imagination. As such, what is ‘the real world’ we inhabit? Perhaps we are aware of only the abridged version of our story.

What is occurring unseen in the everyday experience of ‘walkin’around folks’ is the simultaneous and eternal expansion of reality beyond time, space, and materiality. It is a symphonic masterpiece of multifaceted, overlapping elaborate and subtle frequencies all happening at once, changing and shifting, rolling and churning like waves in a Great Ocean of Existence.

Take a moment to consider every action, reaction, and stillness that occurred in your day today. Whether sleeping, showering, drinking your morning coffee, walking your dog, sending an email, sitting in traffic, screaming at a neighbor; those are just small brush strokes in the overall picture. For instance, microcosmically in the universe that is your body, your cells are always in action and transformation; your coffee is creating chemical reactions in your bodily systems. Macrocosmically, while you interact with your dog, your computer or neighbor, you are simultaneously interconnecting with technology, symbols, social and cultural norms and expected behaviors, the spinning of the planet on its axis, and the pull of the moon. We are part of an endless web ofconnectivity within and beyond our own bodies and tangible experiences, regardless of awareness; and our awareness colors our experience.

Have you experienced a 3D optical illusion that when you stare at it long enough it reveals a hidden image? The image is always there but you have to stop looking for it in order to see it. It’s never apparent at first glance but if you have experienced it once you will know it’s there even when you cannot see it. To reconnect requires focussed attention and presence.

Photo: http://bonnelljvdamales.blogspot.ca/2010/06/3d-optical-illusions_27.html

Imagine now, if you can, an illusion that involves not just optics but every human sense. Add all of the connections you make throughout the day in the physical world including all thoughts, ideas, and emotions around your physical experience and relationships. Imagine that this whole spectrum of human experience can be represented by a single musical note or frequency. Now hold that note.

On a deeper level still, ponder your DNA, your genetic blueprint – the atomic expression of your tangible youness encoded in a unique way in this universe – as its own rare frequency. The essence of you resonates in its own special way, mingling its frequencies with others - deep and low, soft and sweet and all layers of light and magic in between.

These frequencies may not be audible to the human ear but they are definitely heard, felt, and processed by the heart. In our everyday interactions, we match, mimic, complement, and counter each other’s DNA frequencies in a great cosmic composition. The planet herself is a song with a permeating rhythm; there is a song of each species, each continent, and element of Earth playing all at once. Each individual grain of sand, blade of grass; every kitten's whisker, every moving cloud has its own frequency too. As life animated, we are dancing in a great stream of frequency that we are both in and of, wholly unified.

Now recall that single note encapsulating all of physical Earth and human experience, both tangible and intangible? Imagine this as one note in a universal, cosmic, inter-dimensional symphony, streaming in an iridescent song line past-present-future. Like looking through a kaleidoscope and turning it a quarter turn to the left, allow your whole view to shift as new light, colors, shapes, boundaries and openings enter your perception. Here an awareness of an inherently wider reality emerges. But then what do we do with this awareness? There is nothing to do; in fact, it has nothing to do with doing at all. It is simply being; presence; essence; embodiment.

So what does it mean? It means that by your very existence, you are contributing your unique rhythm and frequency to the planet and the song of Gaia – not only in this present moment but also in other times and dimensions - the past, the future, and simultaneous other-worlds, planets and galaxies. It is alive and real – more so than the incomplete human story we act in (incomplete because though we perceive it to be the ‘real deal’ - tangible, measurable, and true - we only use tiny bits of our brains and portions of our DNA). That which seems to have no purpose is not mere junk only because it does not fit in our childlike puzzle; it most definitely has a purpose. The purpose threads through the poetry of all life on Earth, holding it together like cosmic glue, giving wordless response to the question, “Why?”

For you who are holding a space - propping the door open to alternative ways of thinking, being, and experiencing life on the planet; offering an essence or a spirit to places and spaces where gateways have been closed before; embodying a frequency of love and compassion and presence and passion for all that you are; waiting for the community and the world to wake up – your presence alone is enough.

With your being, in full expression of your unique essence, you are contributing much more than can be seen, heard, tasted, smelled, and touched. You are having a powerful effect on humanity’s vibration. The impact of such presence cannot be measured by any man-made device, dollar amount, or public recognition. It is honorable, admirable and respectable work you do, simply by being aware, being present, and being a living expression of All That You Are.

Originally published in Flight: A Living, Breathing Document of Consciousness, Volume 3 Issue 34 December, 2014

You can read all the issues at Deerhorn Shamanic Services, or subscribe to Flight for free by emailing deerhorn007@gmail.com

My First Time....

I was scared at first. It was very wide,

and very long, and it angled straight up.

I decided I had to try it once.

I slowly and carefully eased myself onto it.

It felt weird at first. Then I got used to it.

I went up and down, and up and down on it.....

I was really loving it!

Now I ride on

escalators all the time.

A Funny Thing Happened On My Way Thru Customs

The Bible outa context

Things the Bible says about marriage

A. Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.) Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

B. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed.(Deut 22:13-21)

C. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

D. Since marriage is for life, neither the Constitution nor the constitution of any state, nor any federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

E. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

F. Any man with a beautiful wife may pass her off as his sister, and have her sleep with a powerful man to his own advantage. (Gen 12:13)

Other silly things the Bible says in the same chapter in which it appears to condemn homosexuality:

Among other things, the Holiness Code of Leviticus 18-20 prohibits:

  • Sexual intercourse during a women's menstrual cycle
  • Tattoos
  • Wearing certain types of jewelry
  • Eating certain kinds of meat
  • Wearing clothing made from blended textiles (cotton-polyester blends)
  • Cross-breeding livestock
  • Sowing a field with mixed seed
  • Eating or touching the dead flesh of pigs, rabbits, & some forms of seafood (there goes football!)
  • Men cutting their hair or shaving their beards
Also endorses polygamy and requires Saturday to be reserved as the Sabbath

2. Look under "Traditional values." You'll find a whole bunch that ought to make the white-picket-fence bourgeois types a leetle bit uncomfortable. About homosexuality, there's nothing (just like the gospels).

But high on the list we just happen to see:

"The Curse of Sodom":

"This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched." -- Ezekiel 16:49

The best reply, I think, to all the proof-texting in Leviticus is that God was speaking to the Jews there, not to the whole world. (Just ask them). It's their book, their law.) The question arose in apostolic times whether conversion to Christianity implied submission to the Old Testament law, and the considered, formal decision of the apostles was that it did not. This decision is recorded in Acts 15.

To ask why Leviticus verse y is unimportant when verse x is important, if even for the sake of argument, surrenders needless ground. I'd ask instead whether Acts chapter 15 is in their canon; and if so, what they think it means.

That still leaves us with a few verses from St. Paul to ponder. One can say various things about them, including whether they are correctly translated. I'd wonder why anyone should pick on gays when this writer takes such a dim view of *all* sex and marriage. Demand a single verse in the entire New Testament that justifies an obligation either to marry or to reproduce, or that links marriage to procreation. What did he say that marriage *is* for?

3. Misha Schutt writes: When I googled "leviticus sell daughter slavery" I got several versions of the passage several (if not all) of us had remembered, but I also found a more deadly earnest site:


The compiler of this site probably doesn't have a life, since among other detailes, he (she?) calculates that in the course of the Old Testament, "God kills 371,186 people directly and orders another 1,862,265 people murdered." He also finds a passage where if you beat your slave so heavily that s/he dies, you must be punished, but if the slave dies only after a few days rather than in the course of the beating, you don't get punished. I wonder if the Lubavitchers keep slaves?

4. And finally this classic, Joan Condell writes: Here's a letter to everyone who, like Dr. Laura, uses a few verses of the Bible's Book of Leviticus to lecture homosexuals, when they wouldn't dare lecture anyone about any number of other prohibitions from the very same page of that very same book of the Bible :

Dr. Laura Schlessinger
c/o Premier Radio Networks
15260 Ventura Blvd., 5th Floor
Sherman Oaks, CA 91403

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

A Wife's Poem...

He didn't like the casserole

And he didn't like my cake.

My biscuits were too hard...

Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right

He didn't like the stew,

I didn't mend his socks

The way his mother used to do..

I pondered for an answer

I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and smacked him...

Like his Mother used to do!

The Love Doctor

The Love Doctor The Love Doctor Special Post

Dear Readers,

I came across this piece of advice and decided to share it with you. Each line is so simple. But not always so simple to practice. Enjoy!

(found on Reddit)

50 Timeless Pieces Of Advice About Love & Relationships

1. Don’t stay with someone who antagonizes you or belittles you.
2. If you feel lonely, you’re better off being alone.
3. Know when to walk away.
4. You can gauge a person’s love for you by how they treat you when they are upset with you.
5. Love is a verb, not a noun.

6. When a lightbulb goes out, you fix the lightbulb. You don’t get a new house.
7. Don’t settle for someone who has zero regard for your feelings or wants just because you’ve been together a long time.
8. Just because you love each other does not mean that you’re good together long-term.
9. No relationship is perfect and there will be conflict. What matters is the desire to solve the problem.
10. Always fight the problem, not the other person. If you keep this in mind when arguing, you’ll be able to actually resolve the issue than be mad at each other.

11. Don’t look for a girl you want to treat like a princess, look for a girl you want to treat like a partner.
12. Don’t disparage your SO behind their back.
13. Confidence isn’t “I know she likes me”, confidence is “I’ll be okay whether she likes me or not.”
14. There are a number of people you can be compatible with. No one is perfect. You have to work at love.
15. You’re not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

16. Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get when you see food coming at a restaurant.
17. The grass is not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it.
18. Stop trying to find the right person and start trying to BE the right person.
19. The person who cares least in the relationship has the most control.
20. Don’t fall in love with your waitress, hooker, or therapist.

21. It’s better to be happy than to be right.
22. Always be the first to genuinely apologize after a fight.
23. You can’t expect someone to love you when you can’t love yourself.
24. Just because you liked the friend-version of someone doesn’t mean you’ll like the relationship-version of them.
25. Before you move in with your partner, go on a road trip with them.

26. Don’t be afraid to open up and be vulnerable. Vulnerability can bring you closer together and strengthen the two of you.
27. When you and your SO are arguing, remember—it’s you and them VS the problem. Not you VS them.
28. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
29. Don’t fall in love with someone’s potential.
30. It takes two happy individuals to make a happy relationship.

31. If the world didn’t give each other second chances, we would all be single.
32. Everyone is searching for the perfect person, but no one is trying to be the perfect person.
33. If you love the memories more than the relationship, it’s time to move on.
34. Just because a person is right or perfect for you, you may not be the right one for them.
35. If it’s broken, fix it. If you’ve lost count of how many times it’s broken, or the cost of repair far outweighs the initial outlay, throw it away and move on.

36. Out of all the things needed for a successful relationship, love barely makes the top 5. Honesty, loyalty, trust, and communication all have to be there.
37. Always hold hands when talking about the hard stuff. It helps to keep the negative emotions in check & shows you care.
38. Be the man or woman you would want your future or current child dating.
39. Love is about appreciation, not possession.
40. Don’t go to bed angry. Everything will be there and worse in the morning.

41. Always seduce your lover, even if you are in a committed relationship. Otherwise, another person will.
42. If she threatens to leave, help her pack her bags.
43. Keep no secrets, tell no lies.
44. Sometimes you gotta wise up and let go. Yes, it hurts. But it’ll hurt more in the future.
45. Relationships aren’t hard. If it is hard, you are probably with the wrong person.

46. Love is not a feeling. Feelings fade, change, respond to situations and events. Love is a choice.
47. If it feels wrong at the beginning, it probably won’t get better.
48. If you’re keeping score you already lost.
49. Love is an action, not a feeling. It’s learned and developed skill, not an experience. Not that the romantic feeling doesn’t exist or isn’t a wonderful part of the relationship, but it doesn’t make it last.
50. The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

Hope this helps,

The Love Doctor

--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Pictures You Don't Often See

Hey .. shouldn't they be home baking cookies?

What? Too many shakes? 

Looks like UPS wins!!!

Come on..... just one? (Looks like a place I used to work at!)

Starting with spelling!!!

I think it was the FedEx driver
I bet this is by the school that teaches Arithetic
It must have been the FedEx driver


A guy, a pig, and a dog were the survivors of a terrible shipwreck, and they found themselves stranded on a desert island. After being there for awhile, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down.

One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle.... a perfect night for romance!

As they sat there, the pig started looking better and better to the guy. So, he leaned over and put his arm around the pig. But the dog became jealous and started growling fiercely until the guy removed his arm.

After that the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and low and behold there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young man. He was in pretty bad shape and after they nursed him back to health, they introduced him to their evening ritual of watching the sunset.

It was another beautiful evening, warm breezes, red sky, a perfect night for romance. Pretty soon the guy started to "get those feelings" again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally leaned over to the young man cautiously and whispered in his ear...

"Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"

Aerobics For Your Brain

Click here

Click above

I remember it well...

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together - over 50 years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

"Yes," she says, "I remember it well!"

"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but very good idea!"

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.

They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.

As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Suddenly, they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen! This goes on for about forty minutes.

Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know.

After about a half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman, still watching thinks, this was truly amazing. He's got to ask them what their secret is.

As the couple passes, he say to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

electric fence

Tennis Challenge

When you need a change of pace try this...

Tennis Challenge

Click above

This Will Keep you busy or Drive You Nuts!

Inter-Galactic Travel

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night.

They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response and the older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you"

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.

Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien warned his comrade saying, "You don't want to do that! I don't think you should make him mad."

"Rubbish," replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire.

There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, crumpling mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

About a half hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big green head.

"What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, when a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself and then stick it in his ear, you REALLY don't want to mess with him!"
gas pumps

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Journey to Mars

The first future human mission to Mars and those that follow will require the ingenuity and dedication of an entire generation. We take the next step on that journey with the uncrewed, first flight test of Orion.
Image Credit: NASA
In the not-too-distant future, astronauts destined to be the first people to walk on Mars will leave Earth aboard an Orion spacecraft. Carried aloft by the tremendous power of a Space Launch System rocket, our explorers will begin their Journey to Mars from NASA's Kennedy Space Center in Florida, carrying the spirit of humanity with them to the Red Planet.

The first future human mission to Mars and those that follow will require the ingenuity and dedication of an entire generation. It's a journey worth the risks. We will take (took) the next step on that journey this Thursday, Dec. 4, 2014 with the uncrewed, first flight test of Orion. (Follow along on the Orion Blog, or see the full schedule of events and launch viewing opportunities).

Orion is the first spacecraft built for astronauts destined for deep space since the storied Apollo missions of the 1960s and 70s. It is designed to go farther than humans have ever traveled, well beyond the moon, pushing the boundaries of spaceflight to new heights.

Orion will open the space between Earth and Mars for exploration by astronauts. This proving ground will be invaluable for testing capabilities future human Mars missions will need. The area around our moon, in particular, called cis-lunar space, is a rich environment for testing human exploration needs, like advanced spacewalking suits, navigating using gravity, and protecting astronauts from radiation and extreme temperatures.

One of Orion's early missions in the 2020s will send astronauts to explore an asteroid, which will be placed in a stable orbit around the moon using a robotic spacecraft. This Asteroid Redirect Mission will test new technologies, like Solar Electric Propulsion, which will help us send heavy cargo to Mars in advance of human missions. Astronauts aboard Orion will return to Earth with samples of the asteroid, having tested a number of collection tools and techniques we'll use in future human missions to Mars or its moons.

Astronauts will board Orion for a first crewed flight in 2021. Many of Orion's systems needed for that flight and others will be tested with the first uncrewed flight test.

Orion’s flight test was designed to test many of the riskiest elements of leaving Earth and returning home in the spacecraft. It will evaluate several key separations events, including the jettison of the launch abort system that will be capable of carrying astronauts on future missions to safety if a problem were to arise on the launch pad or during ascent to space, and the separation of the Orion crew module from its service module ahead of its reentry though Earth’s atmosphere.

Orion’s heat shield also will be tested to examine how the spacecraft endures its high speed return from deep space. The heat shield will experience temperatures near 4,000 degrees Fahrenheit during Thursday’s test, and will come back at about 80 percent of the speed the spacecraft would endure returning from the vicinity of the moon.

Other elements will also be put to the test, including how Orion’s computers handle the radiation environment in the Van Allen Belt, the spacecraft’s attitude control and guidance and how its 11 parachutes slow the crew module to just about 20 mph ahead of its splashdown in the Pacific Ocean.

Teams also will evaluate the procedures and tools used to recover Orion from the ocean after it touches down about 600 miles southwest of San Diego and is transported back to shore.

Testing these capabilities now will help ensure that Orion will be the next generation spacecraft for missions in the 2020s that will put Mars within the reach of astronauts in the 2030s.

As development continues on Orion, astronauts aboard the International Space Station are helping us learn how to protect the human body for longer durations, which missions to Mars will require. Researchers operating increasingly advanced rovers and spacecraft on and around Mars are revealing the planet's history while characterizing its environment to better prepare for human explorers. Here on Earth, the U.S. spaceflight industry is building and testing next generation technologies NASA will need to send astronauts to Mars and return them safely.

The Journey to Mars is humanity's Next Giant Leap into our solar system. The Orion spacecraft and its first flight test will help make it possible.

Visit theNASA .gov full site

Meanwhile in Canada...

2 feet of snow fell

5 Undeniable Facts

1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it.

2. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.

3. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS.

4. Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband.

5. Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

I haven't verified this on Snopes, but it sounds legit…

A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

nudge nudge wink wink say no more, know what I mean?


Here is a turkey recipe that includes the use of uncooked popcorn as stuffing ingredient -- imagine that! When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when the turkey is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

For an 8 - 15 lb. turkey, 1cup melted butter, 1 cup stuffing (Stove Top is good), 1 cup un-popped popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT IS BEST) Salt/pepper to taste Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt and pepper.

Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan making sure the neck end is toward the back of the oven, not the front. After about 4 hours listen for the popping sounds.

When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room.... it's done.

And, you thought I couldn't cook.

Psychiatrist vs. Bartender


I've got problems. Every time I go to bed -- I think there's somebody under It. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.

Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.

How much do you charge?

Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor.

I'll sleep on it, I said.

Six months later the doctor met me on the street.

Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having? He asked.

Well, Eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck.

Is that so? With a bit of an attitude he said, and how, may I ask, did a Bartender cure you?

He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.




A Minute With The Goddess

The Triple Goddess
My name is The Goddess. You hardly have time for me. I love you and will always bless you.

I am always with you.

I need you to spend 60 seconds of your time with Me today.

Don't pray, just praise.

Why do we feel sleepy in prayer, but stay awake through a 3 hour movie?

Why are we so bored when we look at the Book of Shadows but find it easy to read other books?

Why are prayers getting smaller, but bars and clubs are expanding?

Why is it so easy to worship a celebrity, but very difficult to engage with The Goddess?

When one door closes, The Goddess opens two.

The Goddess has no iPhone or Android, but She's my favorite contact.
She is not on FACEBOOK, but she is my best friend.
She is not on TWITTER but I still follow Her, and even without the INTERNET, I am always connected to Her.

She is not on gmail but She's always online.

Blessed Be!

Cinosam "AnkhIwiEmHotep"
Life and Peace be with You --Cinosam

Friday, October 19, 2018

The Pharmacist's Monday

RxUpon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him,

"Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.

"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."

"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."

He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing.

When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke."

"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a Rectal thermometer.

And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.

Victoria's Secret - Turnabout is Fair Play - Victor's Secret

Victoria's Secret

The Wizard thinks that it's only fair. If they televise Victoria's Secret, 
they should also televise Victor's Secret...
Garçon Model: Combining Style and Comfort in Men's Underwear
Am I right? Am I right?

Seniors test for glasses


Do you need glasses??

Look carefully at the picture below.

Bare Bum? Nope!
Did you see the bare bum of the girl in the background?

If you did see that in the picture, you need to have your eyes checked, as that is the armpit of the girl holding the camera.

Your appointment is at 2 pm tomorrow


A Liar

12 Truths About Lying


My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet.

Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out.

After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet.

As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, I got home and realized her predicament.

We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts.

Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this).

Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them...... I just never saw one mounted and framed."

Everything's A-OK! Baby gives thumbs up!

Cool! Baby gives thumbs up during ultrasound

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Flash Mob: The U.S. Air Force Band at the Smithsonian

Let me Google that for you.

1. The most important occupant of your brood box can lay about how many eggs per day?

I don't know. Google it.

One way to find the answer:

Go to Google and search [brood box] and find articles on beekeeping that reveal that a brood box is a hive box used to raise honeybees. Search [hive brood box] and find that a hive’s brood box is where a queen bee lays her eggs. Search [number eggs queen bee] and find many articles with estimates ranging from _______ to _______ eggs per day.

2. One of Britain’s greatest naval commanders lost one arm and sight in one eye but never shook this incurable vocational sickness. What did he suffer from throughout his life whenever he worked?

I don't know. Google it.

One way to find the answer:

Go to Google and search [British naval commander lost arm and eye] to find Horatio Nelson. Search [Horatio Nelson sickness] to learn he suffered from _____________.

3. After coining the term radioactive, a well-known female scientist discovered two radioactive elements, one of which you can find easily in cigarette smoke. What is that element?

I don't know. Google it.

Go to Google and search [coined term radioactive] to find Marie Curie. Search [Marie Curie discovered] to learn that in 1898 she discovered both radium and __________. Search [__________ in cigarettes] to confirm that the answer is __________. Radium also occurs in cigarette smoke, but only in trace amounts.

Wise Words

Be Wise
Be Wise!Qualities

You attract people by the qualities that you display and you keep people by the qualities that you possess.

Be Wise!Human Spirit

The human spirit lives on creativity and dies in conformity and routine.

Be Wise!Loving your parents

Don’t wait for Mother or Father’s day to show your love and gratitude to your parents.

Be Wise!Responsibility

Some, given the scepter of responsibility, confuse it with the club of authority.

Be Wise!Creative lives

"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong."

--Joseph Chilton Pierce

Be Wise!Oven racks cleaning made easy

Lay the oven rack on an old towel in the bathtub. Cover them with warm water and some ammonia, let it sit a while, the job will be much easier.

Be Wise!Beautiful Hair

Many things in your diet help to achieve healthy hair, and one of the important nutrients are biotins. Biotins can be found in foods like lentils, peas, brewer´s yeast, brown rice, soybeans, oats, walnuts, and sunflower seeds. You can also take biotin as a supplement via capsule form.

Be Wise!Bunch O' Honey

Honey just might be the pre-exercise energy source. Honey has been found as a better pre-exercise carbohydrate than other sweet treats used to energize, such as candy and soft drinks. Studies show that eating as little as 3 tablespoons of honey an hour before you workout can keep you from losing steam during your workout. Honey seems to give you more energy flow than other sugars do.

Be Wise!Building Endurance

If you want to walk or jog for longer periods of time without getting fatigued, continue with a weight-lifting routine.

Lifting weights not only builds strong muscles, but also can improve your aerobic capacity. Improving your aerobic endurance level will enable you to walk, bike, swim, or jog for longer periods of time before exhausting yourself.

Be Wise!QUOTE: Persistence, Calvin Coolidge

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."

-Calvin Coolidge

Be Wise!Participation/Happiness

"Do it! Move it! Make it happen! No one ever sat their way to success, but remember, success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get.

--H. Jackson Brown (paraphrased)