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Thursday, September 17, 2020

From The Emerald City

From The Emerald City


Hey folks, Blogger is having some display issues. Sometimes the text is black (on black) and some of the hyperlinks are a strange colour. Here's to hoping Blogger fixes this issue sooner than later.


Yours,

The Wizard

 

You are in good hands...


The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so the chauffeur climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.

The Pope proceeds to hop on 95 and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. Well he gets to about 90 mph and, WHAM !, there are the blue lights of our friendly State Patrol in his mirror.

He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. Well the trooper, seeing who it was, says "just a moment please I need to call in." The trooper radio's in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief "I've got a REALLY important person pulled over and I need to know what to do."

The chief replies "Who is it, not Ted again ?" The trooper says, "No, even more important." The chief replies, "It's the Governor, is it ?" The trooper replies "No, even more important." "It's isn't the President is it ?" "No, more important", replies the trooper. "Well WHO the HECK is it !", screams the chief. "I don't know " says the trooper. "But he's got the Pope as a chauffeur."

Fractal Cheetah by artofpain




 
Click on the image for a larger view

by artofpain, Deviant Art

You might be Canadian, eh?

 


I just LOVE DP!


Dr Pepper is made up of 23 flavours

What are the 23 flavours?

The 23 flavors are cola, cherry, licorice, amaretto (almond, vanilla, blackberry, apricot, blackberry, caramel, pepper, anise, sarsaparilla, ginger, molasses, lemon, plum, orange, nutmeg, cardamon, all spice, coriander juniper, birch and prickly ash.

These flavors combined made up the smell of the pharmacy where Dr Pepper was created. So and So wanted to recreate the smell from his pharmacy because he liked how it smelled so much. He successfully recreated the smell of his pharmacy which ended up becoming the smell of Dr Pepper. People say there are still places you can buy the original Dr Pepper made with real cane sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup but supposedly it does not taste as good as people have reported.

They say it tastes really strange and does not taste like the Dr Pepper we all know and love today.

The Faces of Facebook






It is the time to kiss goodbyes to boredom websites because The Faces of Facebook is going to break all the boredom in your life and is going to leave you with hours of searching crazily on this site. You may find this website utterly crazy when you land on its homepage but trust me it is so much fun.

All you have to do is just click on one of the spots and it is going to showcase some of the pictures of Facebook users here. Now click on desirable picture and it will lead you to their FB profile. Isn’t it so much fun to do?

Click here to check it out!


Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners





During the geography class on the Eastern Mediterranean, the teacher asked Little Johnny, "What are the Phoenicians noted for?"

Little Johnny paused and then replied, " For their blinds!"




Student: "Professor, I can't go to class today."

Professor: "Why?"

Student: "I don't feel well."

Professor: "Where don't you feel well?"

Student: "In class."



Growing up, I was really jealous of my best friend. His grandmother lived in a two story house which he went over to visit quite often.

My grandmother lived in a one story house.

The only story I ever heard was "The Little Engine That Could", OVER AND OVER AGAIN!



At a training session in the fire station, the team was assembled around the kitchen table.

The training officer was discussing the behavior of fire. "You pull up to a house and notice puffs of smoke coming from the eaves, blackened out windows and little or no visible flame. What does this tell you?" he asked.

He was expecting to hear that the house is in a possible back draft situation, a condition very dangerous to fire fighters. Instead he heard the following from one quick wit in the back, "You got the right place!"



A man is on trial for stealing an overcoat. The judge went straight to the point. "Did you steal this man's overcoat?" he demanded.

"No sir," the defendant replied, with a grin. "I was just playing joke on him."

"And where did you take the coat?" asked the judge.

"I removed it from the coat rack in the restaurant and carried it home with me."

"Guilty," snapped the judge.

"Guilty! Guilty of what?" asked the defendant.

"Guilty of carrying a joke too far!"




Miss Harriet - a short story hand picked by The Wizard

by Guy de Maupassant


There were seven of us on a drag, four women and three men; one of the latter sat on the box seat beside the coachman. We were ascending, at a snail's pace, the winding road up the steep cliff along the coast.

Setting out from Etretat at break of day in order to visit the ruins of Tancarville, we were still half asleep, benumbed by the fresh air of the morning. The women especially, who were little accustomed to these early excursions, half opened and closed their eyes every moment, nodding their heads or yawning, quite insensible to the beauties of the dawn.

It was autumn. On both sides of the road stretched the bare fields, yellowed by the stubble of wheat and oats which covered the soil like a beard that had been badly shaved. The moist earth seemed to steam. Larks were singing high up in the air, while other birds piped in the bushes.

The sun rose at length in front of us, bright red on the plane of the horizon, and in proportion as it ascended, growing clearer from minute to minute, the country seemed to awake, to smile, to shake itself like a young girl leaving her bed in her white robe of vapor. The Comte d'Etraille, who was seated on the box, cried:

"Look! look! a hare!" and he extended his arm toward the left, pointing to a patch of clover. The animal scurried along, almost hidden by the clover, only its large ears showing. Then it swerved across a furrow, stopped, started off again at full speed, changed its course, stopped anew, uneasy, spying out every danger, uncertain what route to take, when suddenly it began to run with great bounds, disappearing finally in a large patch of beet-root. All the men had waked up to watch the course of the animal.

Rene Lamanoir exclaimed:

"We are not at all gallant this morning," and; regarding his neighbor, the little Baroness de Serennes, who struggled against sleep, he said to her in a low tone: "You are thinking of your husband, baroness. Reassure yourself; he will not return before Saturday, so you have still four days."

She answered with a sleepy smile:

"How stupid you are!" Then, shaking off her torpor, she added: "Now, let somebody say something to make us laugh. You, Monsieur Chenal, who have the reputation of having had more love affairs than the Due de Richelieu, tell us a love story in which you have played a part; anything you like."

Leon Chenal, an old painter, who had once been very handsome, very strong, very proud of his physique and very popular with women, took his long white beard in his hand and smiled. Then, after a few moments' reflection, he suddenly became serious.

"Ladies, it will not be an amusing tale, for I am going to relate to you the saddest love affair of my life, and I sincerely hope that none of my friends may ever pass through a similar experience.

"I was twenty-five years of age and was pillaging along the coast of Normandy. I call 'pillaging' wandering about, with a knapsack on one's back, from inn to inn, under the pretext of making studies and sketching landscapes. I knew nothing more enjoyable than that happy-go-lucky wandering life, in which one is perfectly free, without shackles of any kind, without care, without preoccupation, without thinking even of the morrow.

One goes in any direction one pleases, without any guide save his fancy, without any counsellor save his eyes.

One stops because a running brook attracts one, because the smell of potatoes frying tickles one's olfactories on passing an inn. Sometimes it is the perfume of clematis which decides one in his choice or the roguish glance of the servant at an inn.

Do not despise me for my affection for these rustics. These girls have a soul as well as senses, not to mention firm cheeks and fresh lips; while their hearty and willing kisses have the flavor of wild fruit.

Love is always love, come whence it may. A heart that beats at your approach, an eye that weeps when you go away are things so rare, so sweet, so precious that they must never be despised.

Click here for the full story!

LOL, funny cuz it's true!

 

Be careful what you wish for...

 

Words from nature

 

“Drink water from the spring where horses drink. The horse will never drink bad water.
 
Lay your bed where the cat sleeps.
 
Eat the fruit that has been touched by a worm.
 
Boldly pick the mushroom on which the insects sit.
 
Plant the tree where the mole digs.
 
Build your house where the snake sits to warm itself.
 
Dig your fountain where the birds hide from heat.
 
Go to sleep and wake up at the same time with the birds – you will reap all of the days golden grains.
 
Eat more green – you will have strong legs and a resistant heart, like the beings of the forest.
 
Swim often and you will feel on earth like the fish in the water.
 
Look at the sky as often as possible and your thoughts will become light and clear.
 
Be quiet a lot, speak little – and silence will come in your heart, and your spirit will be calm and full of peace.”

It's a Mad World

 


Tuesday, September 15, 2020

"The Story of An Hour"

By Kate Chopin (1894)

Knowing that Mrs. Mallard was afflicted with a heart trouble, great care was taken to break to her as gently as possible the news of her husband's death.

It was her sister Josephine who told her, in broken sentences; veiled hints that revealed in half concealing. Her husband's friend Richards was there, too, near her. It was he who had been in the newspaper office when intelligence of the railroad disaster was received, with Brently Mallard's name leading the list of "killed." He had only taken the time to assure himself of its truth by a second telegram, and had hastened to forestall any less careful, less tender friend in bearing the sad message.

She did not hear the story as many women have heard the same, with a paralyzed inability to accept its significance. She wept at once, with sudden, wild abandonment, in her sister's arms. When the storm of grief had spent itself she went away to her room alone. She would have no one follow her.

There stood, facing the open window, a comfortable, roomy armchair. Into this she sank, pressed down by a physical exhaustion that haunted her body and seemed to reach into her soul.

She could see in the open square before her house the tops of trees that were all aquiver with the new spring life. The delicious breath of rain was in the air. In the street below a peddler was crying his wares. The notes of a distant song which some one was singing reached her faintly, and countless sparrows were twittering in the eaves.

There were patches of blue sky showing here and there through the clouds that had met and piled one above the other in the west facing her window.

She sat with her head thrown back upon the cushion of the chair, quite motionless, except when a sob came up into her throat and shook her, as a child who has cried itself to sleep continues to sob in its dreams.

She was young, with a fair, calm face, whose lines bespoke repression and even a certain strength. But now there was a dull stare in her eyes, whose gaze was fixed away off yonder on one of those patches of blue sky. It was not a glance of reflection, but rather indicated a suspension of intelligent thought.

There was something coming to her and she was waiting for it, fearfully. What was it? She did not know; it was too subtle and elusive to name. But she felt it, creeping out of the sky, reaching toward her through the sounds, the scents, the color that filled the air.

Now her bosom rose and fell tumultuously. She was beginning to recognize this thing that was approaching to possess her, and she was striving to beat it back with her will--as powerless as her two white slender hands would have been. When she abandoned herself a little whispered word escaped her slightly parted lips. She said it over and over under hte breath: "free, free, free!" The vacant stare and the look of terror that had followed it went from her eyes. They stayed keen and bright. Her pulses beat fast, and the coursing blood warmed and relaxed every inch of her body.

She did not stop to ask if it were or were not a monstrous joy that held her. A clear and exalted perception enabled her to dismiss the suggestion as trivial. She knew that she would weep again when she saw the kind, tender hands folded in death; the face that had never looked save with love upon her, fixed and gray and dead. But she saw beyond that bitter moment a long procession of years to come that would belong to her absolutely. And she opened and spread her arms out to them in welcome.

There would be no one to live for during those coming years; she would live for herself. There would be no powerful will bending hers in that blind persistence with which men and women believe they have a right to impose a private will upon a fellow-creature. A kind intention or a cruel intention made the act seem no less a crime as she looked upon it in that brief moment of illumination.

And yet she had loved him--sometimes. Often she had not. What did it matter! What could love, the unsolved mystery, count for in the face of this possession of self-assertion which she suddenly recognized as the strongest impulse of her being!

"Free! Body and soul free!" she kept whispering.

Josephine was kneeling before the closed door with her lips to the keyhold, imploring for admission. "Louise, open the door! I beg; open the door--you will make yourself ill. What are you doing, Louise? For heaven's sake open the door."

"Go away. I am not making myself ill." No; she was drinking in a very elixir of life through that open window.

Her fancy was running riot along those days ahead of her. Spring days, and summer days, and all sorts of days that would be her own. She breathed a quick prayer that life might be long. It was only yesterday she had thought with a shudder that life might be long.

She arose at length and opened the door to her sister's importunities. There was a feverish triumph in her eyes, and she carried herself unwittingly like a goddess of Victory. She clasped her sister's waist, and together they descended the stairs. Richards stood waiting for them at the bottom.

Some one was opening the front door with a latchkey. It was Brently Mallard who entered, a little travel-stained, composedly carrying his grip-sack and umbrella. He had been far from the scene of the accident, and did not even know there had been one. He stood amazed at Josephine's piercing cry; at Richards' quick motion to screen him from the view of his wife.
When the doctors came they said she had died of heart disease--of the joy that kills.

A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof, and when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven.

 


Pokéhmon

 


The Scream

The Scream is the popular name given to a composition created by Norwegian Expressionist artist Edvard Munch in 1893. The original German title given by Munch to his work was Der Schrei der Natur (The Scream of Nature), and the Norwegian title is Skrik (Shriek). The agonised face in the painting has become one of the most iconic images of art, seen as symbolising the anxiety of the human condition.

Burger King & Ronald McDonald kiss in ad celebrating “everyone’s right to be just the way they are”

The posters include the tagline, "Love Conquers All."

by Bill Browning, LGBTQNation.com
  
A new ad from Burger King celebrating LGBTQ pride features the fast-food mascot kissing rival Ronald McDonald. The posters include the tagline, “Love Conquers All.”

The campaign celebrates Pride week in Helsinki, Finland. While the normal festival has been canceled due to coronavirus restrictions, the celebration continues virtually and smaller public events.

“Burger King has always stood for equality, love, and everyone’s right to be just the way they are,” Burger King Finland’s brand manager Kaisa Kasila said.

“The only instance where it might not seem so is when we’re bantering with our competitor. But we want to be clear – it all stems from the respect we have for them. And we know McDonald’s stands for the values we stand for, too.”

“The idea behind the painting sprung from our desire to celebrate love in all forms,” Kasila continued. “We thought, what a better way to convey our values than by portraying an all-encompassing kiss between Burger King and McDonald. We wanted to show that in the end, love always wins.”

Burger King Mexico decided to honor Pride month in an unusual and controversial way earlier this year when they teamed up with Rappi, an on-demand delivery service popular in Central and South America, to celebrate out loud and proud.

The fast-food giant changed its corporate logo to “Burger Queer” on their social media accounts and gave away rainbow-colored crowns.

True

 


Monday, September 14, 2020

Hawaii cruise



A blonde woman in Vancouver was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Hawaii in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."


Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy and you'll keep me happy."

The blonde nodded. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Hawaii would give her life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and then they made passionate love until dawn.

Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Hawaii, and in return he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the Captain said. "You're on the Nanaimo Ferry."

Blonde Lady Motorist

A blonde lady motorist was two hours from San Diego- when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked,

"Are you going to San Diego?""Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"

"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be delivered to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you fifty dollars for your trouble."

"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of the crowd.

With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde."What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you fifty dollars to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."

"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde, "but we had money left over---so we went to the movies too!!!

Divorce Settlement

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit...Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit... Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local Realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10 of what the house had been worth...But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ....... including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

DUH!

 

You Think The Taliban Is Bad? Check Out These Quotes from the 'The American Taliban'

Bailey Smith  "With all due respect to those dear people, my friend, God Almighty does not hear the prayer of a Jew."

Beverly LaHaye (Concerned Women for America)  "Yes, religion and politics do mix. America is a nation based on biblical principles. Christian values dominate our government. The test of those values is the Bible. Politicians who do not use the bible to guide their public and private lives do not belong in office."

Bob Dornan (Rep. R-CA)  "Don't use the word 'gay' unless it's an acronym for 'Got Aids Yet'"

David Barton (Wallbuilders)  "There should be absolutely no 'Separation of Church and State' in America."

David Trosch  "Sodomy is a graver sin than murder. – Unless there is life there can be no murder."

Fob James (Governor of Alabama)  "Behind this judicial wall of separation there is a tyranny of lies that will fall... I say to you, my friends, let it fall!" "A good butt-whipping and then a prayer is a wonderful remedy."

Fred Phelps (Westboro Baptist Church)  "If you got to castrate your miserable self with a piece of rusty barb wire, do it." "Hear the word of the LORD, America, fag-enablers are worse than the fags themselves, and will be punished in the everlasting lake of fire!" "You telling these miserable, Hell-bound, bath house-wallowing, anal-copulating fags that God loves them!? You have bats in the belfry!" "American Veterans are to blame for the fag takeover of this nation. They have the power in their political lobby to influence the zeitgeist, get the fags out of the military, and back in the closet where they belong!" "Not only is homosexuality a sin, but anyone who supports fags is just as guilty as they are. You are both worthy of death."

Gary Bauer (American Values)  "We are engaged in a social, political, and cultural war. There's a lot of talk in America about pluralism. But the bottom line is somebody's values will prevail. And the winner gets the right to teach our children what to believe."

Gary North (Institute for Christian Economics)  "The long-term goal of Christians in politics should be to gain exclusive control over the franchise. Those who refuse to submit publicly to the eternal sanctions of God by submitting to His Church's public marks of the covenant–baptism and holy communion–must be denied citizenship." "This is God's world, not Satan's. Christians are the lawful heirs, not non-Christians."

Gary Potter (Catholics for Christian Political Action)  "When the Christian majority takes over this country, there will be no satanic churches, no more free distribution of pornography, no more talk of rights for homosexuals. After the Christian majority takes control, pluralism will be seen as immoral and evil and the state will not permit anybody the right to practice evil."

George Bush Sr. (President of the United States)  "I don't know that atheists should be considered citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God." G

George W. Bush (President of the United States)  "I don't think that witchcraft is a religion. I wish the military would rethink this decision."* "God told me to strike at al Qaida and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did, and now I am determined to solve the problem in the Middle East. If you help me I will act, and if not, the elections will come and I will have to focus on them." "Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists." "This crusade, this war on terrorism is going to take a while." *Comment about Wiccans in the military

Henry Morris (Institute for Creation Research)  "When science and the Bible differ, science has obviously misinterpreted its data."

J. B. Stoner (White Supremacist)  "We had lost the fight for the preservation of the white race until God himself intervened in earthly affairs with AIDS to rescue and preserve the white race that he had created.... I praise God all the time for AIDS." "AIDS is a racial disease of Jews and Niggers, and fortunately it is wiping out the queers. I guess God hates queers for several reasons. There is one big reason to be against queers and that is because every time some white boy is seduced by a queer into becoming a queer, means his white bloodline has run out."

James Dobson (Focus on the Family)  "Those who control the access to the minds of children will set the agenda for the future of the nation and the future of the western world." "State Universities are breeding grounds, quite literally, for sexually transmitted diseases (including HIV), homosexual behavior, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, alcoholism, and drug abuse." "Today's children... They're damned. They're gone." James

Kennedy (Center for Reclaiming America)  "The Christian community has a golden opportunity to train an army of dedicated teachers who can invade the public school classrooms and use them to influence the nation for Christ."

James Watt (Secretary of the Interior)  "We don't have to protect the environment, the Second Coming is at hand."* *Secretary of the Interior in the Reagan Admin. Responsible for National Policy regarding the Environment

Jay Grimstead (Coalition on Revival)  "We are to make Bible-obeying disciples of anybody that gets in our way."

Jerry Falwell  "We're fighting against humanism, we're fighting against liberalism...we are fighting against all the systems of Satan that are destroying our nation today...our battle is with Satan himself." "AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharoah's chariotters." "The Bible is the inerrant ... word of the living God. It is absolutely infallible, without error in all matters pertaining to faith and practice, as well as in areas such as geography, science, history, etc." "AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals." "If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being."

Jesse Helms (Sen. R-NC)  "The New York Times and Washington Post are both infested with homosexuals themselves. Just about every person down there is a homosexual or lesbian." "All Latins are volatile people. Hence, I was not surprised at the volatile reaction." "Your tax dollars are being used to pay for grade-school classes that teach our children that cannibalism, wife-swapping and murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior." "Homosexuals are weak, morally sick wretches."

Jimmy Swaggart (Jimmy Swaggart Ministries)  "The Media is ruled by Satan. But yet I wonder if many Christians fully understand that. Also, will they believe what the Media says, considering that its aim is to steal, kill, and destroy?" "Sex education classes in our public schools are promoting incest." "Evolution is a bankrupt speculative philosophy, not a scientific fact. Only a spiritually bankrupt society could ever believe it...Only atheists could accept this Satanic theory."

John Ashcroft (Attorney General)  "Civilized people – Muslims, Christians, and Jews – all understand that the source of freedom and human dignity is the Creator."

John Whitehead (Rutherford Institute)  "The [Supreme] Court, by seeking to equate Christianity with other religions, merely assaults the one faith. The Court in essence is assailing the true God by democratizing the Christian religion."

Joseph McCarthy (Sen. R-WI)  "Today we are engaged in a final, all-out battle between Communistic Atheism and Christianity."

Joseph Morecraft (Chalcedon Presbyterian Church)  "Nobody has the right to worship on this planet any other God than Jehovah. And therefore the state does not have the responsibility to defend anybody's pseudo-right to worship an idol."

Joseph Scheidler (Pro-Life Action League)  "I would like to outlaw contraception...contraception is disgusting – people using each other for pleasure."* *I get the distinct impression that Mr. Scheidler's poor wife isn't guilty of feeling any pleasure…

Kay O'Connor (Kansas Senate Republican)  "I'm an old-fashioned woman. Men should take care of women, and if men were taking care of women today, we wouldn't have to vote."

Keith A. Fournier (Catholic Way)  "We need a legal strategy which protects the rights of those of us who hold Christian convictions which will afford us the opportunity to contend once again for the mind of this culture."

Laura Schlessinger  "I want to coin a phrase here, and I don't mind help. What would be the communication version of "ethnic cleansing?" Because that's what in particular the homosexual activists try to do."

Lester Roloff (Texas Homes for Wayward Youth)  "Better a pink bottom than a black soul."* *Roloff opened a chain of homes for "wayward" youth in the state of Texas; he was later jailed in 1973 and again in 1975 for child abuse due to the punitive punishment techniques used in his homes. He would have been finished had he not of been specifically given permision to re-open his homes by, you guested it, Governor George W Bush.

Lt. Gen. William G. Boykin  “George Bush was not elected by a majority of the voters in the United States, he was appointed by God.”

Pat Buchanan (Presidential Candidate)  "Our culture is superior. Our culture is superior because our religion is Christianity and that is the truth that makes men free." "There were no politics to polarize us then, to magnify every slight. The "negroes" of Washington had their public schools, restaurants, bars, movie houses, playgrounds and churches; and we had ours." "Rail as they will about 'discrimination,' women are simply not endowed by nature with the same measures of single-minded ambition and the will to succeed in the fiercely competitive world of Western capitalism."

Pat Robertson (Christian Coalition)  "The Islamic people, the Arabs, were the ones who captured Africans, put them in slavery, and sent them to America as slaves. Why would the people in America want to embrace the religion of slavers." "Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different...More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history." "When lawlessness is abroad in the land, the same thing will happen here that happened in Nazi Germany. Many of those people involved with Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many of them were homosexuals – the two things seem to go together." "The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." "You say you're supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and the Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that, and the other thing. Nonsense, I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist." "I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period." "[Homosexuals] want to come into churches and disrupt church services and throw blood all around and try to give people AIDS and spit in the face of ministers." "[Planned Parenthood] is teaching kids to fornicate, teaching people to have adultery, every kind of bestiality, homosexuality, lesbianism – everything that the Bible condemns."

Patrick Mahoney (Christian Defense Coalition)  "It is deeply troubling to have an appointed, unelected commission remove an elected official from office [Roy Moore]. The Court of Judiciary has overturned an election and crushed the democratic process through their actions."* *Interesting perspective coming from someone who's President was appointed by a group of "unelected judges", thus overturning a democratic election.

Paul Cameron  "I think that actually AIDS is a guardian. That is I think it was sent, if you would, about forty years ago, to destroy Western civilization unless we change our sexual ways. So it's really a Godsend." "Homosexuality is a crime against humanity." "Causes of homosexuality include: 'sex with animals'"* "Unless we get medically lucky, in three or four years, one of the options discussed will be the extermination of homosexuals." *Paul Cameron was discharged from the American Psychological Association, the Nebraska Psychological Association, and the American Sociological Association due to his unethical practices and biased research regarding Homosexuals. His "research" has since been discredited by the scientific community; however his work is still referenced by many fundamentalist organizations as credible.

Randall Terry (Operation Rescue)  "I want you to just let a wave of intolerance wash over. I want you to let a wave of hatred wash over you. Yes, hate is good...Our goal is a Christian nation. We have a biblical duty, we are called by God to conquer this country. We don't want equal time. We don't want pluralism." "Our goal must be simple. We must have a Christian nation built on God's law, on the ten Commandments. No apologies." "I don't think Christians should use birth control. You consummate your marriage as often as you like – and if you have babies, you have babies." "When I, or people like me, are running the country, you'd better flee, because we will find you, we will try you, and we'll execute you. I mean every word of it. I will make it part of my mission to see to it that they are tried and executed."* "There is going to be war, [and Christians may be called to] take up the sword to overthrow the tyrannical regime that oppresses them." *It is interesting to note that Randell Terry's son is Gay

Jerry Vines (Southern Baptist Convention)  "They would have us believe that Islam is just as good as Christianity. Christianity was founded by the virgin-born son of God, Jesus Christ. Islam was founded by Muhammad, a demon-possessed pedophile who had 12 wives, the last one of which was a nine-year-old girl."

Rick Santorum* (Sen. R-PA)  "If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual [Gay] sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything!" *Now known as Rick "Santorum" Santorum

Robert Simonds (Citizens for Excellence in Education)  "As the church watches from the sidelines, the ungodly elect atheists and homosexuals to school boards and legislatures to enact policies and laws that destroy our Christian children and discriminate against Christian families." "Atheistic secular humanists should be removed from office and Christians should be elected...Government and true Christianity are inseparable." "We'll take away their power and their money. Money comes from students. We'll break their backs by taking 24 million kids out of the public schools."

Robert T. Lee (Society for the Practical Establishment of the Ten Commandments)  "Raising your children under Americanism or any other principles other than true Christianity is child abuse." "You do not have the right to be wrong, regardless of what any man-made or demonic charter says." "Democracy originated in the mind of a rational being who has the deepest hatred for God." "Do you realize that the only thing that gives democracy existence is sin? The absence of democracy is perfect obedience to god." "The best way to insure the earth is never over populated is for sensible and righteous governments to clear all forms of atheism and heresy."

Ronald Reagan (President of the United States)  "For the first time ever, everything is in place for the Battle of Armageddon and the Second Coming of Christ."

Roy Moore (Former Alabama Judge)  "If they want to get the Commandments, they're going to have to get me first."* "Worship With Your Vote" *Interesting observation of the Radical Right, Judge Roy Moore commits peaceful civil disobedience by refusing to remove the Ten Commandments Monument from the Court. He is considered a Hero. Mayor Gavin Newsom commits peaceful civil disobedience by issuing same-sex marriage licenses. He is considered an Anarchist.

Rush Limbaugh  "Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society." "If you commit a crime, you're guilty."* "There is only one way to get rid of nuclear weapons... use them" *Seems logical enough, doesn't it Rush?

Star Parker (Coalition on Urban Renewal & Education)  "Anybody that believes in separation of church and state needs to leave right now."

Tony Evans (Promise Keepers)  "The demise of our community and culture is the fault of sissified men who have been overly influenced by women."

William Rehnquist (Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court)  "The 'wall of separation between church and state' is a metaphor based on bad history, a metaphor which has proved useless as a guide to judging. It should be frankly and explicitly abandoned."

Michael Savage (Savage Nation)  "Oh, you're one of the sodomites. You should only get AIDS and die, you pig. How's that? Why don't you see if you can sue me, you pig. You got nothing better than to put me down, you piece of garbage. You have got nothing to do today, go eat a sausage and choke on it."*

*Statement made on live national television

Daddy Cut The Big One...

 

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Sunday, September 13, 2020

You've Got to "Hand" It To Them!

 







A Daily Affirmation

A Daily Affirmation

With open heart and opened mind,
I embrace the world.
In perfect love and perfect trust,
I embrace the world.
Let all who I encounter
Grant me the same accord.
May we see only friends
In the faces that we pass.
Cast off dark thoughts
And walk into the light.
This is my will.

Do you remember... Chiclets

 

Remember these? You could play the empty ones as a kazoo by blowing into the empty package. Had to have the cellophane window though.

The Gollum Girls..

 


Saturday, September 12, 2020

Name one movie in this picture

 

There are 40. Put your answers in the comments

ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO SASKATCHEWAN



1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
 
3. Remember: We say please and thank you a lot. Men also nod their heads at everyone they walk by and women smile. We are just nice like that.
 
4. Get used to the phrase "It's not the cold, it's the wind and the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August.".
 
5. Don't tell us how you did it somewhere else, we will be polite but honestly Nobody cares.
 
6. If you think it's too hot in the Summers, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December
 
7. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Tractor, a quad or a pick-up is.
 
8. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.
 
9. Every 30 kilometers or so you will find a Dollar Store, Timmy's or a Subway.
 
10. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called "courtesy", if you don't understand this, reconsider moving to a rude province.
 
11. Grilling is a necessity..No matter the weather.. someone is outside grilling something.
 
12. Roughriders and Blue Bomber games must be taken into consideration for weddings, funerals, and divorces. Don't plan ANYTHING on these days.
 
13. Everything is better with Ranch dressing or ketchup
 
14. DO NOT honk your horn at us to be obnoxious, we will sit there until we die.
 
15. We pull over and stop for emergency vehicles to pass.
 
16. We pull over for funeral processions, turn our music off and men remove hats or caps. Some people put their hand over their heart.
 
17. "OPE" is a way of saying scuse me. You will catch on😂
 
18. If you don't like the weather here, wait 15 minutes, it will change.
 
19. Hauling hay is a rite of passage.
 
20. The index finger wave from the steering wheel to everyone you pass on a country road.
 
21. If you hear your family or friends talk about POTLUCK or a CASSEROLE, sit down and take notes.
 
22. Every corner you take, you will see a cow, rig or a old barn.
 
23. We do say hey, don't judge us.
 
24. We do support our oil field!
 
25. We do support our farmers!!
 
26. Its a bunny hug. Not a hoodie!!!
 
27. We drink VICO, not chocolate milk!
 
28. We eat dinner @ noon, and supper @ 6:00!
A lunch is something you take with you!
 
Welcome to Saskatchewan the NICER province... as far as province's go, were pretty good.
 
(do not throw out your bacon grease you will need it for fry bread)
 
So true!