Gay Couple in Heaven

 

There were these two friends, one who was gay, who died in a horrible car accident. They both went to heaven and were standing at the pearly gates when St. Peter met them. St. Peter asked the first man for a picture of his wife. 

After looking at the picture, St. Peter asked him if he had ever cheated on her. The man replied, "I was unfaithful to my wife one time."St. Peter decided to give the man a station-wagon for him to drive around heaven.Now it was the second man's turn.St. Peter asked him for a picture of his wife and then asked if he had ever cheated on her.

The man replied, "Actually I'm gay, but here's a picture of my lover, and I never cheated on him."

St. Peter was very impressed and decided to give the man a Ferrari to drive around heaven.

After a few months in heaven, the two friends met up with each other. The second man was bragging about his Ferrari when the other turned to him and said, "I wouldn't be bragging if I were you. I just saw your lover on a skateboard."

Happy 4th of July to my American readers

 

A Nation's Strength

By William Ralph Emerson

What makes a nation's pillars high
And its foundations strong?
What makes it mighty to defy
The foes that round it throng?

It is not gold. Its kingdoms grand
Go down in battle shock;
Its shafts are laid on sinking sand,
Not on abiding rock.

Is it the sword? Ask the red dust
Of empires passed away;
The blood has turned their stones to rust,
Their glory to decay.

And is it pride? Ah, that bright crown
Has seemed to nations sweet;
But God has struck its luster down
In ashes at his feet.

Not gold but only men can make
A people great and strong;
Men who for truth and honor's sake
Stand fast and suffer long.

Brave men who work while others sleep,
Who dare while others fly...
They build a nation's pillars deep
And lift them to the sky.

RAGGED OLD FLAG

 

RAGGED OLD FLAG

I walked through a county courthouse square,
On a park bench an old man was sitting there.
I said, "Your old courthouse is kinda run down."
He said, "Naw, it'll do for our little town."
I said, "Your flagpole has leaned a little bit,
And that's a Ragged Old Flag you got hanging on it.

He said, "Have a seat", and I sat down.
"Is this the first time you've been to our little town?"
I said, "I think it is." He said, "I don't like to brag,
But we're kinda proud of that Ragged Old Flag."

"You see, we got a little hole in that flag there
When Washington took it across the Delaware.
And it got powder-burned the night Francis Scott Key
Sat watching it writing Oh Say Can You See".
And it got a bad rip in New Orleans
With Packingham and Jackson tuggin' at its seams."

"And it almost fell at the Alamo
Beside the Texas flag, but she waved on through.
She got cut with a sword at Chancellorsville
And she got cut again at Shiloh Hill.
There was Robert E. Lee, Beauregard, and Bragg,
And the south wind blew hard on that Ragged Old Flag."

"On Flanders Field in World War I
She got a big hole from a Bertha gun.
She turned blood red in World War II
She hung limp and low by the time it was through.
She was in Korea and Vietnam.
She went where she was sent by her Uncle Sam."

"She waved from our ships upon the briny foam,
And now they've about quit waving her back here at home.
In her own good land she's been abused --
She's been burned, dishonored, denied and refused."

"And the government for which she stands
Is scandalized throughout the land.
And she's getting threadbare and wearing thin,
But she's in good shape for the shape she's in.
'Cause she's been through the fire before
And I believe she can take a whole lot more."

"So we raise her up every morning,
Take her down every night.
We don't let her touch the ground
And we fold her up right.
On second thought I DO like to brag,
'Cause I'm mighty proud of that Ragged Old Flag."

Written by Johnny Cash

SHARE and W-I-N!

  

Yes, that's right... The Wizard of 'OZ' is having a 

"SHARE and WIN" contest! 

 

All you have to do is share a POST from 'OZ' that you like (any post, any date!) Take a screenshot of where you shared the post, such as facebook, Instagram, Twitter and more, as long as it it is by social media* and not just emailed to a person. Then email the screenshot to The_Wizard@othersideoz.ca - please put "$50 Gift Card Contest" in the subject. I will not share your email address and will delete all information at the end of the contest.

A random draw will be made for one $50.00 (fifty dollar) Gift Card of your choice (provided the gift card is available for purchase in Canada). Contest open to anyone 16 years old or older and a resident of Canada or The USA at the time of the random draw. 

 

The final winner will be declared on Sept 1st 2022 at 9PM (CST). The random drawing will be made by The Wizard of 'OZ' and the contest will be deemed to be over by 9PM (CST) on September 1st. 

 

Contest runs from July 2nd to September 1st 2022. Winner will be notified by the same email as the entry was submitted with. Contest may be extended past September 1, 2022 - If there are no entries during the contest period (The Wizard's prerogative.)

No purchase necessary.

*The fine print: Prize is in CDN dollars. The draw will be made September 1, 2022 by The Wizard of 'OZ', from all entries received up to and including September 1, 2022 at 9PM CST. There will be only one (1) winner chosen out of all entries received by the closing date and time. 1 gift card is available. The Wizard of 'OZ's decision will be final. Social media includes facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blogger (or other web log page), Linked in. Contest available only in Canada and The United States of America. Odds of winning is dependent upon the number of entries received. Winner's name will be published on 'OZ' (last name can be withheld by request). In the event that no one enters the contest, The Wizard reserves the right to extend the contest to a point in the future that The Wizard decides.  Contest void where prohibited by law. The Wizard of 'OZ' and the blog 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow make no money from this contest nor from the blog as a whole. The purpose of this contest is to increase visitors to my blog. Again, I make no money from the blog and 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow is 100% Paid ad free.

The Writings On The Stall

If you're like me, you just can't spend enough time reading in public restrooms. And there's always some guy standing in front of the next chapter on the wall by the urinal. And he seldom wants to be a dear and jot down the phone number. I kid. Comic relief.

But it is nice the computer age brings funny restroom graffiti direct to our screens, the modern bathroom monitors. Of course, we must do without the ambient flushes and floating cigarette butts.

This site is clogged with hundreds of actual messages noted in the Mens and Ladies, Guys and Dolls, Buoys and Gulls. We're told "They serve as (informal) forums for politics, pop culture, humor, and so forth." Please note: Explicit content and they're out of paper towels.

My personal favourite:

University of Colorado
Engineering Building
Boulder, Colorado USA 80023
Men's restroom, ground floor

E=MC2
(And underneath it)
Very nice Albert, next time show your work
Written on the side of a stall, Albert Einstein's famous equation.

The Writings on the Stall!
Entries posted on this site don't necessarily reflect the beliefs of its The Wizard.

Jail Time

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.  When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?"

She replied: a can of peaches.

The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.  She replied 6.

The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

He said, " What is it? "

The husband said  "She also stole a can of peas."

Just imagine sand fantasy

TV Evangelist

Grandma and Grandpa were watching a religious healing program on TV. The evangelist exhorted everyone that wanted to be healed, to put one hand on the TV and the other on the body part they wanted healed. Grandma hobbled to the TV and put one hand on the TV and the other on her arthritic hip.

Grandpa made his way to the set and put one hand on the TV and the other on his crotch.

Grandma looked at him with disgust. "You just don't understand, you old coot...the purpose of this program is to heal the sick, not raise the dead."

Things to do at WAL*MART to pass the time...

 
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares ..... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask! 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And, last, but not least!)

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in no particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them. Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping. Put them in reception.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in information technology.

If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day. Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the window. Put them on strategic planning.

And then last but not least. If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved. Congratulate them and put them in top management!!

You Know You Grew Up In The 80's or Early 90's

This like so so true..made me LOL!

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE"

2. You watched the Pound Puppies.

3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" and can do the" Carlton".

4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.

5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.

6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.

7. You know that "WOAH " comes from Joey on Blossom.

8. Two words: Hammer Pants

9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"

10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars... and "spokey-dokes" or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect.

11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales " (Woo ooh!)

12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles " on the big screen...and still know the turtles names.

15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.

17. You played the game "MASH " (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)

18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.

19. L.A. Gear....need I say more?

20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten. (She's truly outrageous.)

21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books.

22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"

23. You wanted to be a Goonie.

24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)

25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.

26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

27. You took lunch boxes to school... and traded Garbage Pail Kids in the schoolyard.

28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.

29. You still get the urge to say "NOT " after every sentence

30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.

31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.

32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.

33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.

This needs no explanation!

34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes. (and like #24, probably in neon colors, too)

35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"

36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.

38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.

39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.

40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.

41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.

42. You remember "Popples".

43. "Don't worry, be happy"

44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.

45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do...getting yelled at by "younger hip" members of the family)

46. You remember boom boxes..?and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.

47. You remember watching both "Gremlins "movies.

48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"

49. You remember watching "Rainbow Bright" and "My Little Pony Tales"

50. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.

51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.

52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB".

53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.

55. You just sang those words to yourself.

56. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.

57. Homemade Levi shorts... (the shorter the better)

58. You remember when mullets were cool!

59. You had a mullet!

60. You still sing "We are the World"

61. You tight rolled your jeans.

62. You owned a banana clip

63. You remember "Where's the Beef?"

64. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' about Willis?"

65. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.

66. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!!!

67."Thunder...thunder...thunder...thundercats...HO!!!!!!!

68. You wore overalls with only one strap on your shoulder.

69. You see the new commercial of the "Heinz" boy Mikey and wonder if that is REALLY him, all grown up.

70. You know that Adam Sandler started his career as Theo's friend on Cosby.

71. You watched you can't do that on television faithfully and still can't figure out which character was Alanis Morrisette

And finally...



72. Michael Jackson was COOL!

Share and W-I-N!!

 

Yes, that's right... The Wizard of 'OZ' is having a 

"SHARE and WIN" contest! 

 

All you have to do is share a POST from 'OZ' that you like (any post, any date!) Take a screenshot of where you shared the post, such as facebook, Instagram, Twitter and more, as long as it it is by social media* and not just emailed to a person. Then email the screenshot to The_Wizard@othersideoz.ca - please put "$50 Gift Card Contest" in the subject. I will not share your email address and will delete all traces of it when the contest is over.

A random draw will be made for one $50.00 (fifty dollar) Gift Card of your choice (provided the gift card is available for purchase in Canada). Contest open to anyone 16 years old or older and a resident of Canada (void in Quebec), or The USA at the time of the random draw. 

 

The final winner will be declared on Sept 1st 2022 at 9PM (CST). The random drawing will be made by The Wizard of 'OZ' and the contest will be deemed to be over by 9PM (CST) on September 1st. 

 

Contest runs from July 2nd to September 1st 2022. Winner will be notified by the same email as the entry was submitted with. Contest may be extended past September 1, 2022 - If there are no entries during the contest period (The Wizard's prerogative.)

No purchase necessary.

*The fine print: Prize is in CDN dollars. The draw will be made September 1, 2022 by The Wizard of 'OZ', from all entries received up to and including up to September 1, 2022 at 9PM CST. There will be only one (1) winner chosen out of all entries received by the closing date and time. 1 gift card is available. The Wizard of 'OZ's decision will be final. Social media includes facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blogger (or other web log page), Linked in. Contest available only in Canada and The United States of America. Odds of winning is dependent upon the number of entries received. Winner's name will be published on 'OZ' (last name can be withheld by request). In the event that no one enters the contest, The Wizard reserves the right to extend the contest to a point in the future that The Wizard decides.  Contest void where prohibited by law. The Wizard of 'OZ' and the blog 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow make no money from this contest nor from the blog as a whole. The purpose of this contest is to increase visitors to my blog. Again, I make no money from the blog and 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow is 100% Paid ad free.

R.I.P. Sonny Barker (1938 - 2022)

Hells Angels founder Sonny Barger died. The founder of the Hells Angels, Sonny Barger, died at 83, according to a social media statement and his former attorney. He had cancer.

A statement on Barger's Facebook page notes his death.

His former attorney, Fritz Clapp, said in a phone call Thursday that Barger had liver cancer and that he died peacefully at his home Wednesday night. 

Gift Card Winner announced!

Congratulations to the Gift card winner! Mike Semantian of Toronto ON has won the contest. Thanks to everyone for helping to get 'OZ' to go viral by sharing posts. I hope you continue to share posts that are interesting to you. The Gift Card Contest is over. Stay tuned to 'OZ' for a new contest starting tomorrow and running till Sept 1st.

R.I.P. Joe Turkel (1927 - 2022)

Joe Turkel, a prolific character actor known for his turns in The Shining and Blade Runner, has died at 94, a representative confirmed to Entertainment Weekly. Turkel died Monday at St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica, Calif. with his sons Craig and Robert by his side.

Of his 100-plus film and TV credits, Turkel is perhaps best known for his role as Lloyd, the preternaturally calm, credit-extending bartender in Stanley Kubrick's The Shining.  

Happy Canada Day!

 

155 Years Young!

Strong and Free, 2000

Together we are Canada

My name is British Columbia
The jewel of the West Coast.
Forestry and fishing are
The things that I do most

Hi, I am Alberta
A wild west kind of place
With cows and oil and mountains
And lots of open space.

I am Manitoba
And I’m Saskatchewan
We’re the golden prairies
Where fields of wheat grow in the sun

Hi, I am Ontario
The home of government
To me each year the leaders
Of our democracy are sent.

Bonjour, I am Quebec
Here French is my language too
When I want to ask “how are you?”
I say, “comment t’allez vous?”

Newfoundland, New Brunswick
And Nova Scotia -- those are we,
We are Atlantic Provinces
The three musketeers of the sea.

I’m Prince Edward Island
And I know I may be small
But without me all the rest of you
Would have no potatoes at all.

The Yukon, Nunavut and North West
Territories are up north.
Through ice and cold and polar bears
Few brave souls venture forth.

Together we are Canada
One nation strong and free
With sharing, friends and happiness
Forever we will be!

Under the Rainbow, 2000

*Art by Steve Walker, Fans of Steve Walker's Art

Happy 155th Canada Day, from The Wizard of 'OZ'!

 

Click above to see a special Canada Page and powerpoint

THE TOMATO COMPANY

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.

The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."

Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address.

To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day."

Stunned, the man leaves not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25 lb. crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family.

During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly.

Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck.

At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him.

By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard.

Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed over one million dollars.

Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance.

Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned, "What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"

"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at Sears and making $5.35 an hour."

Which brings us to the moral of the story:

Since you got this story by e-mail, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a millionaire.

Sadly, I received it also.

Anagrams

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Actual Ads

These are actual newspaper ads:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little bitch. Bites

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.

FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs Neutered. Speaks German.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out awhile. Better be a reward for this nasty little thing.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.

(AND THE BEST ONE)

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.

OUTlive Homophobia

 

OUTLIVE HOMOPHOBIA. Click here for The OUT Saskatoon Website

Share and W-I-N!!

LAST DAY TO ENTER!!

Yes, that's right... The Wizard of 'OZ' is having a 

"SHARE and WIN" contest! 

 

All you have to do is share a POST from 'OZ' that you like (any post, any date!) Take a screenshot of where you shared the post, such as facebook, Instagram, Twitter and more, as long as it it is by social media* and not just emailed to a person. Then email the screenshot to The_Wizard@othersideoz.ca - please put "$25 Gift Card Contest" in the subject. 

A random draw will be made for one $25.00 (twenty-five dollar) Gift Card of your choice (provided the gift card is available for purchase in Canada). Contest open to anyone 16 years old or older and a resident of Canada or The USA at the time of the random draw. 

 

The final winner will be declared on July 1st 2022 at 9PM (CST). The random drawing will be made by The Wizard of 'OZ' and the contest will be deemed to be over by 9PM (CST) on July 1st. 

 

Contest runs from April 1st to July 1st 2022. Winner will be notified by the same email as the entry was submitted with.

No purchase necessary.

*The fine print: Prize is in CDN dollars. The draw will be made July 1, 2022 by The Wizard of 'OZ', from all entries received up to and including July 1, 2022 at 9PM CST. There will be only one (1) winner chosen out of all entries received by the closing date and time. 1 gift card is available. The Wizard of 'OZ's decision will be final. Social media includes facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blogger (or other web log page), Linked in. Contest available only in Canada and The United States of America. Odds of winning is dependent upon the number of entries received. Winner's name will be published on 'OZ' (last name can be withheld by request). In the event that no one enters the contest, The Wizard reserves the right to extend the contest to a point in the future that The Wizard decides.  Contest void where prohibited by law. The Wizard of 'OZ' and the blog 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow make no money from this contest nor from the blog as a whole. The purpose of this contest is to increase visitors to my blog. Again, I make no money from the blog and 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow is 100% Paid ad free.

Still off facebook!

I don't even know how long its been! I really don't miss facebook and all the drama that comes with it. I still use Messenger as I find that useful and non intrusive. 

I went cold turkey many months ago now, and like I say, I don't miss it! My biggest issue was all the garbage posts trying to get me to "buy" a piece of technology, they were scams. Every day my feed was inundated with these fake ads - all to phish your credit card info. Beware!

That was the last straw for me. But please, if you are still on facebook, and viewing an 'OZ' post that you like, click on the facebook icon in the social media bar after the post and share away!

Fido Dido - The Mind Reader

 Requires Flash player**

Click here. 

**Download Flash Player Emulator for Chrome here.

'Dog sh*t' ham

A Wakefield man lost his appetite when he found "dog sh*t" listed among the ingredients on a packet of ham.

Mick Woods, 34, examined another of the 300g containers and saw the same 'additive' listed on the label.

And he admitted: "Obviously I haven't eaten it. It sort of puts you off."

His partner Tracey, 28, bought the 99p packs of cooked, sliced ham from a store near their home.

The dad-of-three added: "We spent 40 minutes laughing. But we haven't put any in the kids' sandwiches and we had something else for our tea."

Manufacturer H R Hargreaves & Son said it axed an employee over the labeling prank and was trying to recall the ham.

A spokesman for the Manchester firm said: "We can't have people fooling about with food products. A number of packs are affected. We're trying to find out what shops they're in."

Jokes

Q. Why can't the bride of Frankenstein have children?
A. Because Frankenstein has a "Hollow-weenie”!

Q. Why is a fire truck red?

A. Well, there are 8 wheels and 4 men, and 8+4=12. There are 12 inches on a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. Elizabeth was also a ship. The ship sailed in the ocean, and in the ocean there are fish. On the fish there are fins. The Fins fought the Russian, and the Russians wore red.

A.2. Why is a fire truck always red: Because it’s always rushing!

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

Confucius say...Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Confucius say: Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Confucius say: Man who fart Vaseline bubbles not suitor for woman!

This woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the tv, eat dinner, and sit some more. He would never do those little household repairs that most husbands take care of. This frustrated the woman quite a bit.
One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said sweetly, "Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look at it?" 

Her husband snarled, "What do I look like? The Tidy-Bowl man?" and sat down on the sofa.
The next day, the garbage disposal wouldn't work. When her husband got home she said, very nicely, "Honey, the disposal won't work. Would you try to fix it for me?"
Once again, he growled, "What do I look? Mr. Plumber?" 

The next day, the washing machine was on the blink. When her husband got home, she steeled her courage and said, "Honey, the washer isn't running. Would you check on it?"
And again she was met with a snarl, "What do I look like? The Maytag repairman?"
Finally, she had had enough. The next morning, the woman called three repairmen to fix the toilet, the garbage disposal, and the washer. 

When her husband got home, she said, "Honey, I had the repairmen out today."
He frowned, "Well, how much is that going to cost?"
"Well, honey, they all said I could pay them by baking them a cake or having sex with them."
"Well, what kind of cakes did you bake them?"
She smiled. "What do I look like, BETTY CROCKER?"

At Frederick's of Hollywood a husband wants to buy his wife the sheerest lingerie he can find. "This is $200," says the saleswoman, showing him an item. "I want one that's more sheer," says he. "This one is $350." 

"Sheerer than that." 

"This is the sheerest we have. It's $500." 

"I'll take it!" he replies. The man goes home to his wife and shows it to her, saying, "Go put this on and come down to model it for me." She goes upstairs, opens the box and thinks, "This thing is so see-through that the old coot won't even notice if I'm wearing it or not. I can take it back for a refund and he won't know the difference." 

So she comes out wearing nothing at all and strikes a pose at the top of the stairs. "So, how do you like it?" she asks. 

He looks at her a moment and says, "Well, you'd think for $500 they'd iron the thing."

Share and W-I-N!!

 Final 2 Days! Enter Now!

Yes, that's right... The Wizard of 'OZ' is having a 

"SHARE and WIN" contest! 

 

All you have to do is share a POST from 'OZ' that you like (any post, any date!) Take a screenshot of where you shared the post, such as facebook, Instagram, Twitter and more, as long as it it is by social media* and not just emailed to a person. Then email the screenshot to The_Wizard@othersideoz.ca - please put "$25 Gift Card Contest" in the subject. 

A random draw will be made for one $25.00 (twenty-five dollar) Gift Card of your choice (provided the gift card is available for purchase in Canada). Contest open to anyone 16 years old or older and a resident of Canada or The USA at the time of the random draw. 

 

The final winner will be declared on July 1st 2022 at 9PM (CST). The random drawing will be made by The Wizard of 'OZ' and the contest will be deemed to be over by 9PM (CST) on July 1st. 

 

Contest runs from April 1st to July 1st 2022. Winner will be notified by the same email as the entry was submitted with.

No purchase necessary.

*The fine print: Prize is in CDN dollars. The draw will be made July 1, 2022 by The Wizard of 'OZ', from all entries received up to and including July 1, 2022 at 9PM CST. There will be only one (1) winner chosen out of all entries received by the closing date and time. 1 gift card is available. The Wizard of 'OZ's decision will be final. Social media includes facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blogger (or other web log page), Linked in. Contest available only in Canada and The United States of America. Odds of winning is dependent upon the number of entries received. Winner's name will be published on 'OZ' (last name can be withheld by request). In the event that no one enters the contest, The Wizard reserves the right to extend the contest to a point in the future that The Wizard decides.  Contest void where prohibited by law. The Wizard of 'OZ' and the blog 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow make no money from this contest nor from the blog as a whole. The purpose of this contest is to increase visitors to my blog. Again, I make no money from the blog and 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow is 100% Paid ad free.

From The Emerald City

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From The Emerald City - Crisis in Ukraine

My Dear 'OZ'ians,

Interesting pictograph:

War is expensive. But the real cost is lives lost... 😢

Stay strong Ukraine! 

Слава Україні!

 

The Wizard 

Note: This post is the opinion of The Wizard of 'OZ' and no-one else and reflects as best I can tell from the available information out there.

The Birth Order Of Children

 

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.


Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month


The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?


Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your first born.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.


Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.


Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.


Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.


Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.


At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.


Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!


GRANDCHILDREN--- God's reward for allowing your children to live.

Third graders

Three third graders, an Irish kid, an Italian kid and a Hillbilly kid are in the playground at recess. One of them suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest weenie," he says.

"Okay." They all agree.


The Italian kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out.


"That's nothing," says the Irish kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer.


Not to be outdone, the Hillbilly kid whips his out. It is by far the biggest.

That night, eating dinner at home, the Hillbilly kid's mother asks him what he did at school today. "Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ... and during recess, my friends and I played 'Let's see who has the largest weenie.


"What kind of game is that, honey?" asks the mother.


"Well, me, Anthony and Patrick each pulled out our weenies and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm a Hillbilly. Is that true, Mom?"


Mom replies, "No, Honey. It's because you're twenty-three."

 

Chinese Proverbs**

Man who run in front of car get tired.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

 

**Is this post racist? 

-- The Wizard

Share and W-I-N!!

 

Yes, that's right... The Wizard of 'OZ' is having a 

"SHARE and WIN" contest! 

 

All you have to do is share a POST from 'OZ' that you like (any post, any date!) Take a screenshot of where you shared the post, such as facebook, Instagram, Twitter and more, as long as it it is by social media* and not just emailed to a person. Then email the screenshot to The_Wizard@othersideoz.ca - please put "$25 Gift Card Contest" in the subject. 

A random draw will be made for one $25.00 (twenty-five dollar) Gift Card of your choice (provided the gift card is available for purchase in Canada). Contest open to anyone 16 years old or older and a resident of Canada or The USA at the time of the random draw. 

 

The final winner will be declared on July 1st 2022 at 9PM (CST). The random drawing will be made by The Wizard of 'OZ' and the contest will be deemed to be over by 9PM (CST) on July 1st. 

 

Contest runs from April 1st to July 1st 2022. Winner will be notified by the same email as the entry was submitted with.

No purchase necessary.

*The fine print: Prize is in CDN dollars. The draw will be made July 1, 2022 by The Wizard of 'OZ', from all entries received up to and including July 1, 2022 at 9PM CST. There will be only one (1) winner chosen out of all entries received by the closing date and time. 1 gift card is available. The Wizard of 'OZ's decision will be final. Social media includes facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blogger (or other web log page), Linked in. Contest available only in Canada and The United States of America. Odds of winning is dependent upon the number of entries received. Winner's name will be published on 'OZ' (last name can be withheld by request). In the event that no one enters the contest, The Wizard reserves the right to extend the contest to a point in the future that The Wizard decides.  Contest void where prohibited by law. The Wizard of 'OZ' and the blog 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow make no money from this contest nor from the blog as a whole. The purpose of this contest is to increase visitors to my blog. Again, I make no money from the blog and 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow is 100% Paid ad free.

ROFLMAO!!!!

This is hilarious. Try to guess first.

Here is a riddle for the true intellectual. Try to come up with the answer on your own. The answer is at the end for those who are unable to think this one through!

At the exact same time, there are two 35 year old men on opposite sides of the earth:

One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers. The other is getting a blowjob from an 85-year-old woman.

They are both thinking the exact same thing...........What are they both thinking?

ANSWER:

They are both thinking...... Don't look down... Don't look down... Don't .......look... down...........

Swimmers

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.

She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other."

He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."

So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple.

This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.

She said, "That was incredible!"

He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along."

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end.

She did laps in freestyle, breast-stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing heavy.

He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"

"No, she said, "I was a hooker in Saskatoon and I worked both sides of the river."

Seven Reasons Why Gay People Are Better Than Straight People

You know you think it all the time. Now we justify it for you. Wizard's Note: We do not think all gay people are better than all straight people. We, in fact, do not think all gay people are anything. (Or all straight people, for that matter.) These are just some general observations. So please, lighten up. 

1) When we have kids it’s because we really want them. Goodness knows we all hear about those silly “breeders” who practice unsafe sex and then get a “surprise” one day. Gay people don’t have it so easy. When we want to have children there’s always a third party (be it a test-tube, a surrogate, an adoption agency, etc.), adding to the already great challenge of deciding to become a mother or a father. We’re not saying it makes us better parents, but… OK, that’s what we’re saying. 

2) We have better style. If we didn’t, would there have been a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? We think not. And given that most celebrated male fashion designers bat for our team, we rest our case. 

3) We set the trends. How else can you explain us wearing $500 designer jeans years before they were popular? And where would metrosexuality be if we hadn’t been getting ourselves plucked and waxed for eons? These may not be good things, but still, we were there first. 

4) We take better care of ourselves. You know you walked into your 10-year high school reunion with more hair, fewer wrinkles, less fat, and better fashion than any other guy in your class. Be proud. 

5) When it comes to partying, we do it up right. Every straight gal pal of yours (and some of your hetero guy friends too) tells you they have more fun at a gay club than they do at a straight club. And naturally most of the hottest party planners are queer. It’s because we’re more fun. No really, we are. 

6) We are devoted. Be good to us, we’ll be good to you. No matter the generation, we stick with our divas (see Judy, Barbra, Bette, Madonna). And, hey, we’re brand loyal too! 

7) Watch out for our wit. Growing up as outsiders (to one degree or another) forces us to be verbally fast on our feet. So be nice, or a cutting remark will slice you down to size.

Disorder in the Court

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

ATTORNEY: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

      

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

         

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS: Forty-five years.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan.

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

       

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh....

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh?

This is Number one

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law!