![]() |
Click above to visit the website |

Welcome to 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow!! Some posts may be seen as offensive. Posting is at 10AM, Noon and 2PM CST daily. Up to 12 days of posts on the main page. The archives have more. You can forward posts by clicking on the envelope at the bottom of the post. Enjoy your stay! *** If you need to contact me, or have a copyright issue, please use the "Contact The Wizard" form on the left side of 'OZ'. Original source and author is cited and credited in each post where possible. ***
***Disclaimer***
Tuesday, May 24, 2022
Message in a Bottle
Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners
I've opened a restaurant called: "Peace And Quiet..."
Kids meals: Only $150.
One is disgusted by a rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by a lack of RAM.

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."

Two friends arranged to meet at a store in the local mall. One never showed up, so the other went home. When they talked later that night, the second woman asked the first what had happened.
"It was terrible, "the first woman said. "I was on the escalator on my way to meet you, and it suddenly stopped running. I stood there for over an hour while they fixed it."
"You stood on the escalator for an hour while he fixed it?" the second friend asked
"Of course, what else would I do?"
"You dummy! Why didn't you sit down?"

An antelope and a lion entered a diner and took a booth near the window. When the waiter approached, the antelope said, “I’ll have a bowl of hay and a side order of radishes.”
“And what would your friend have?”
“Nothing,” replied the antelope.
The waiter persisted, “Isn’t he hungry?”
“Hey, if he were hungry,” said the antelope, “would I be sitting here?”

Bobby: What did you do?
Billy: I put the hose in my sister’s window and turned it on.
Bobby: That’s a pretty big mistake, when did you do that?
Billy: Wednesday.

I also might win the lottery.
Odds are about the same.


Me: I don't know.
Grandson: So he could hide in the cherry tree. Did you ever see an elephant in a cherry tree?
Me: No.

Monday, May 23, 2022
Paddy
Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven? O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father.
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

Paddy was in New York He was patiently waiting, and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, Okay pedestrians". Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman." Oh yeah?" said Charlie
"And how did this one end?" When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees. "Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?" She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken-shit!"
Beware the ATM!
Share and W-I-N!!
Extended to June 1st! Enter now!
Yes, that's right... The Wizard of 'OZ' is having a
"SHARE and WIN" contest!
Eagle's Nest
Sunday, May 22, 2022
Canadian temperature conversion ;)
+15° C = Vancouverites try to turn on the heat. Manitobans plant gardens.
+10° C = Victorians shiver uncontrollably. Winnipeggers sunbathe.
+5° C = Italian cars won't start. Winnipeggers drive with the windows down.
0° C = Distilled water freezes. Winnipeg's water gets thicker.
-5° C = Torontonians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Manitobans throw on a T-shirt.
-15° C = Quebecers begin to evacuate the province. Manitobans go swimming.
-20° C = Toronto landlords finally turn up the heat. Manitobans have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
-25° C = People in Vancouver cease to exist. Manitobans lick flagpoles.
-30° C = Calgarians fly away to Mexico. Manitobans throw on a light jacket.
-40° C = Hamilton disintegrates. Manitobans rent some videos.
-50° C = Mt. St. Helen's freezes. Manitoban Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes Winnipeg until it gets cold enough.
-60° C = Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Manitoba Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door-to-door.
-80° C = Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Winnipeggers pull down their earflaps.
-100° C = Ethyl alcohol freezes. Manitobans get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-200° C = Microbial life survives on dairy products. Manitoba cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-300° C = ALL atomic motion stops. Manitobans start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
TOO DUMB TO TRAVEL
Why some people should never be let out of the country... Actual comments from US travel agents: I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.











Saturday, May 21, 2022
PRE-SCHOOL TEST
Pre-school children were asked the following question:
"In which direction is the bus pictured below traveling?"

Look carefully at the picture.
Do you know the answer?
The only possible answers are "left" and "right."
Think about it
Still don't know?
Okay, I'll tell you.
The pre-schoolers all answered "left."
When asked, "Why do you think the bus is traveling in the left direction?" they answered:
"Because you can't see the door."

Feel pretty silly now, don't you?
I know .. me, too.
Hymn #365
A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."
See you at the river!!
As Russia's invasion of Ukraine approaches its 3-month mark, here's what's happened in key areas
![]() |
© Shutterstock |
From CNN's Joshua Berlinger
It is nearly three months since Russia invaded Ukraine – a 12-week period in which Russian forces have wrought devastation on the country and its people, resulting in death on a vast scale and causing millions to flee.
But the invasion has not been the military success Moscow hoped, and is now deep into its second phase.
The bulk of fighting has moved to the east after failed Russian advances in central Ukraine. The Ukrainians are focusing on retaking some key areas closer to the Russian border, while Moscow is seeing its troops beaten back in a few key battles.
Western aid is also flowing into Ukraine, NATO is set to be strengthened as Nordic countries seek to join, and the first Russian soldier accused of war crimes has stood trial.
Here’s what has happened in several key areas since the war began.
Friday, May 20, 2022
Who's your daddy?
A seminary professor was vacationing with his wife in Gatlinburg, TN. One morning, they were eating breakfast at a little restaurant, hoping to enjoy a quiet, family meal. While they were waiting for their food, they noticed a distinguished looking, white-haired man moving from table to table,visiting with the guests. The professor leaned over and whispered to his wife, "I hope he doesn't come over here." But sure enough, the man did come over to their table.
World Bee Day
May 20th is World Bee Day
Bees are one of the most important organisms on Earth, and do much more than simply buzz around flower beds. They are the world's most populous and productive pollinators, and are responsible for pollinating two thirds of the world's food supply. Climate change and wanton use of pesticides in the agriculture industry have seen the world bee population plummet at an alarming rate in recent years, and their disappearance would have catastrophic effects on the global supply chain.
The Snowdome
The SnowVolution concept is based on an innovative approach to indoor skiing. A snow covered rotating planar disc, up to 300 metres in diameter, is inclined at around 25 degrees and made up of 5 or 6 concentric rings each between 17 metres and 20 metres wide. Each of these rings is able to rotate independently in either direction around a static centre island at mean tangential speeds of up to 15 metres/per second.

Typically, adjacent rings would rotate in the same direction and be separated by a static or stationary ring, the remaining rings would rotate in the opposite direction. This arrangement spreads skiers and snowboarders across the whole width of the disc on both sides of the central zone leading to high levels of utilisation.
Thursday, May 19, 2022
R.I.P. Vangelis (1943 - 2022)
Vangelis, the Greek composer known for his music used in Chariots of Fire and Blade Runner, has died. He was 79.
Evángelos Odysséas PapathanassÃou, known professionally as Vangelis, was a Greek musician and composer of electronic, progressive, ambient, and classical orchestral music.
Part of the duo, Jon and Vangelis, produced rock hits like The Friends of Mr. Cairo.
R.I.P. John Aylward (1946 - 2022)
John Aylward, a prolific actor of stage and screen, has died. He was 75.
Aylward's agent Mitchell K. Stubbs confirmed the news in a message sent to PEOPLE, detailing that the actor died at his home in Seattle Monday of natural causes, according to his wife Mary Fields.
"John was a wonderful actor and a great friend to many," Stubbs wrote in the message. "He was proud of his film and television work although his life in the theatre was where he was the happiest. He was a good man."
Ole

Looking in
I was feeling a little nosey, so I thought I would look in on you and see if you are sitting at your computer... Yup, there you are!
