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Thursday, October 22, 2020

The Templars

The Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ and of the Temple of Solomon (Latin: Pauperes commilitones Christi Templique Salomonici), also known as the Order of Solomon's Temple, the Knights Templar or simply the Templars, were a Catholic military order founded in 1119, headquartered on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem through 1128 when they went to meet with Pope Honorius II. 

They were recognized in 1139 by the papal bull Omne datum optimum.The order was active until 1312 when it was perpetually suppressed by Pope Clement V by the bull Vox in excelso.The Templars became a favored charity throughout Christendom and grew rapidly in membership and power. They were prominent in Christian finance. 

Templar knights, in their distinctive white mantles with a red cross, were among the most skilled fighting units of the Crusades. 

Non-combatant members of the order, who made up as much as 90% of their members, managed a large economic infrastructure throughout Christendom, developing innovative financial techniques that were an early form of banking, building its own network of nearly 1,000 commanderies and fortifications across Europe and the Holy Land, and arguably forming the world's first multinational corporation.


Everything Is Awful and I'm Not Okay : questions to ask before giving up

click on the image to read

Life isn't a competition

 

The Greatest

Moments

 

Working with idiots can kill you....

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Please Respond to Supervisor....

When asked to do something…simply send this reply...


Trunk Monkey

Humour: Zodiac Signs, What They Really MeanYour Horoscope

Once you have read this post, there's no turning back. Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits and predictions from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologist. Read your sign, then forward this post, (Click on the envelope icon and fill out the form. It's easy!), with your zodiac sign and label on the subject line, or you'll get bad luck for the number of years stated in your sign description. This is real sh*t, try ignoring it, and the first thing you'll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning - and it only gets worse from there.


(AUGUST 24 - SEPTEMBER 23)
VIRGO - The Virgin

Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward this post.


(OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 22)
SCORPIO - The Sex Addict

EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. Most erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.)
Always get what they want. Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward this post.


(SEPTEMBER 24 - OCTOBER 23)
LIBRA - The Lame Lover

Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! However not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward this post.


(MARCH 21 - APRIL 20)
ARIES - The Liar

Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward this post.


(JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 19)
AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water

Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward this post.


(MAY 22 - JUNE 21)
GEMINI - Does Twosomes

Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward this post.


(JULY 24 - AUGUST 23)
LEO - The Lion in bed

Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward this post.


(JUNE 22 - JULY 23)
CANCER - The Cutie

MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high sex appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward this post.


(FEBRUARY 20 - MARCH 20)
PISCES - The Piece of Ass

Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Sexy, DAMN IT. High sex appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward this post.


(DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 20)
CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover

Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Sexy. Cool. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward this post.


(APRIL 21 - MAY 21)
TAURUS - The Tramp

Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most sexiest people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward this post.


(NOVEMBER 23 - DECEMBER 22)
SAGITTARIUS - The Sexy one

Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found.Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward this post.

In two days tomorrow will be yesterday

Today is no special day and I have no particular reason for posting this... I have no news to tell you.... nor any problems to discuss with you.... or gossip to tell you... It's only one of those happy moments... when I thought of life... and I would like to share these thoughts with you...

MANY SMILES BEGIN BECAUSE OF ANOTHER SMILE... 

Always have good self esteem...

Take care of your friends, especially those dearest to you...

Take care of your body...

But most of all find time to relax...

Big Hug  from The Wizard of 'OZ'...
 

To The World You Might Be One Person; But To One Person You Might Be the World. 


Don't Gross Out The World - An Etiquette test!

 Click here to try your knowledge in International Eating Manners. Don't forget to post your score by adding a comment!

Click above to try your knowledge in International Eating Manners. Don't forget to post your score by adding a comment!

Condoms and Camels

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?

Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Lady 1: Where did you get it?

Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

"Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Mission To Make You Smile!

 Mission to make you smile. Click here

Click above to play!

FREDDIE'S SURGERY

Freddie can't get an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery.

Freddie asks what the surgery is and the doctor tells him they take the muscles from the base of a baby elephant's trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best. Freddie says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier, so he says ok.

The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later the gives Freddie the go ahead to "try out his new equipment". Freddie takes his wife out to dinner. While at dinner Freddie starts feeling incredible pressure in his pants. It gets unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants. No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs a apple from the fruit basket, and disappears back into his pants.

His wife sits in shock for a few moments, and then gets a sly look on her face. She says, "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?" With his eyes watering and a painful look on his face, Freddie says, "Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another apple up my ass."

Something For Everyone!

 

From the mouth of Maxine...

   

People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.

Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it.

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.

The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.

Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

Kids say the Darndest Things....these are CUTE

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him." 

 
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
 
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

 
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something! wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
 
 
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead."
 
 
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty!"

 
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Beware the Halloween Parties this year!

A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
 

He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.
 

So he took his costume and away he went.
 

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party. Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
 

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
 

His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his  current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
 

Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed. So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
 

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
 

She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.
 
He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
 

"Did you dance much ?"
 

"I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to...."