The Love Doctor

Dear Love Doctor,

Help! My boyfriend has suddenly decided that he wants to change sex. I like men. I won’t be attracted to him. He has already begun to wear women's clothes and I don't know what to make of it all.

How do I manage this one. He says that he’s thought about it carefully and knows that he can rely on me to support him – but he can’t. I'm just not into women.

Signed,

In2Men

Dear In2,

If he says he’s thought about it carefully then you have to take his word for this. You need to be truthful though and tell him that this will cause problems both for you personally and the two of you as a couple.

There are all sorts of reasons why people consider gender-reassignment, almost all of them valid.

If your boyfriend were born a woman in a male body then you need to support his understanding of this even if you can't continue a romantic affair.

The bond you have as two people is surely stronger than the sexual bond alone. If it isn't your relationship was doomed anyway.

If he has not already started a counseling program encourage him to do so. There are a great many excellent therapists who are gay positive and a number who have had extensive experience in working with the transgendered.

It may well help the two of you to go along together.

And, remember even if you lose a lover, you need not lose a friend.

The Love Doctor

--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)