What were YOU thinking??

I was scared at first.
It was very wide,
and very long,
and it angled straight up.
I decided I had to try it once.
I slowly and carefully eased myself onto it.

It felt weird at first.
Then I got used to it.
I went up and down,
and up and down on it.
I was really loving it.





*Now I ride on escalators all the time.*



I took my fingers and slowly,
gently stretched it apart.
It was so pure and white.
I licked it once, twice...
I found I couldn't stop.
I licked it faster and faster, and harder.
I began to scrape my teeth against it.
There it was, in my mouth!
All sweet and creamy.

I was done.





*And I threw away the outsides of my Oreo cookies*



It was laying limp in my hand.
It was very long, kind of thin.
I slid it between my fingers
until I got to the end of it.

I was turning it on.
It became firm in my hands,
and the end was wet.
Then it got very hard

and began gushing out of the tip.





*Then I took the garden hose and watered the bushes.*



I knew it could be done.
I wanted to try
but I didn't know if I could do it.
I called my friend.
He said he knew how to do it
and would teach me.

He put his arms around me and started.
I watched nervously in the mirror.
He finally finished and pulled back slowly.

I felt relieved that it was over.





*I hate neckties.*



It looked warm and dark,
and juicy and inviting.
I wasn't sure just what
I wanted to do with it.
I carefully pulled it apart
with my fingers to look into it better.

I knew how great it would be
if I just started eating it.





*But I decided to put ketchup on my burger.*



MORAL?

It is not the word that corrupts the mind, but the mind that corrupts the word.