by Julien Durand, Flyboy, traveller, some mistakes in the past.
Sex related:
*A guy asking me if he could masturbate even though the seat belt sign was on;
*A guy browsing his porn magazine with a kid on the seat next to him (magazine confiscated, kid displaced, guy "lectured");
*A lady in her sixties offers to literally eat the thirty years or so neighbour (the victim was willing);
*Countless couples thinking they were invisible...
Health:
*Alzheimers freaking out;
*Very serious conditions you wouldn't want to see (flesh eating diseases for instance);
*Heart attacks; and my personal worst: a quadraplegic back from Africa, with the subsequent diarrhea, and his chaperon not lifting a finger, so we did what had to be done, and made sure the chaperon never boards one of our flights again.
Bizarre:
*A lady with a lead blouse, afraid of radioactivity;
*A Nigerian with a freshly cut antelope's head (it started dripping from the overhead bunk);
*Another Nigerian with a car engine in the cabin;
*A Vietnamese with a poorly sealed gallon sized bottle of nuoc mam sauce (also dripping from above);
*Countless men, travelling with their loved one, having benefitted for x or y reason of one upgrade, therefore travelling business or first while madam stays in coach (the Frenchman in me is appalled);
*Countless everyday freaks.
Plain bad taste:
*Drunken Russian sailors;
*People ignoring what paper and flush are (ewwww)
*People walking barefoot on board, even in the toilets (ewwww2)
*Parents believing we are their toddler's nanny, 100%;
Celebrity freaks:
*Mariah Carey ("You won't upgrade my entire staff in first class, I'll harass your crew" Ma'am Carey, you do not want to know what was put in your coffees...)
*Naomi Campbell ("Don't you know who I am?!")
*Some of my country's politicians (most of them were weird on board)
Et cetera...
Sex related:
*A guy asking me if he could masturbate even though the seat belt sign was on;
*A guy browsing his porn magazine with a kid on the seat next to him (magazine confiscated, kid displaced, guy "lectured");
*A lady in her sixties offers to literally eat the thirty years or so neighbour (the victim was willing);
*Countless couples thinking they were invisible...
Health:
*Alzheimers freaking out;
*Very serious conditions you wouldn't want to see (flesh eating diseases for instance);
*Heart attacks; and my personal worst: a quadraplegic back from Africa, with the subsequent diarrhea, and his chaperon not lifting a finger, so we did what had to be done, and made sure the chaperon never boards one of our flights again.
Bizarre:
*A lady with a lead blouse, afraid of radioactivity;
*A Nigerian with a freshly cut antelope's head (it started dripping from the overhead bunk);
*Another Nigerian with a car engine in the cabin;
*A Vietnamese with a poorly sealed gallon sized bottle of nuoc mam sauce (also dripping from above);
*Countless men, travelling with their loved one, having benefitted for x or y reason of one upgrade, therefore travelling business or first while madam stays in coach (the Frenchman in me is appalled);
*Countless everyday freaks.
Plain bad taste:
*Drunken Russian sailors;
*People ignoring what paper and flush are (ewwww)
*People walking barefoot on board, even in the toilets (ewwww2)
*Parents believing we are their toddler's nanny, 100%;
Celebrity freaks:
*Mariah Carey ("You won't upgrade my entire staff in first class, I'll harass your crew" Ma'am Carey, you do not want to know what was put in your coffees...)
*Naomi Campbell ("Don't you know who I am?!")
*Some of my country's politicians (most of them were weird on board)
Et cetera...
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