The Physical...

During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level.

I described a typical day this way:

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk.

About 7 miles, through some pretty rough terrain.

I waded along the edge of a lake.

I pushed my way through brambles.

I got sand in my shoes and my eyes.

I avoided standing on a snake.

I climbed several rocky hills.

I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees.

The mental stress of it all left me shattered.

At the end of it all I drank eight beers".

Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoorsman!"

"No, just a shitty golfer".