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Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Yuk Yuks

The New Deputy

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Tommy - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.

"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Tommy, what is 1 and 1?"

"11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."

"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"

"Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Tommy supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

"Now Tommy, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

Tommy looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, Tommy wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Tommy was exultant.

"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

Crazy North Carolina Laws

All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart. Making love in the space between the beds is strictly forbidden.

If a man and a woman who aren't married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.

It's against the law to sing off key.

Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.

A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent.

In Barber NC, fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.

In Charlotte NC, women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.

In Elon College NC, there is to be no rollerblading during daylight hours, on the roads, or on the bricks. All the sidewalks at this college are made of brick. (Repealed in 1998)

In Forest City NC, you must stop and call City Hall before entering town in an automobile. This is so the townspeople will have time to go out and hold their horses until you get through town.

In Greensboro NC, restaurants "with on sidewalk dining" must post their menu so that it is clearly readable from the sidewalk, but is not readable from the street.

In Horneytown NC, massage parlors have been banned.

In Kill Devil Hills NC, you may not ride a bicycle without having both your hands on the handle bars.

In Rocky Mount NC, it is required that you must pay a property tax on your dog.

In Southern Shores NC, it is against the law to rollerblade on a state highway.

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