PAWTUCKET, RI—Bitter, maniacal laughter sounded from the eternal winter of Hasbro CEO Mortimer Z. Hassenfeld's office chambers Monday as yet another relationship fell to the diabolical machinations of his company's popular board game Scrabble.
Hassenfeld, who has not left the gloomy solitude of the Hasbro Corporation's Dark Tower in more than 40 years, was reportedly most pleased as he surveyed on a bank of TV monitors the doom and destruction dealt by Scrabble to the once-happy couple.
"Ha! Foolish Ron [Jeffers] and Karen [Dreyer]! You really thought your so-called 'courtship' could withstand the divisive power of the almighty Scrabble?" shouted Hassenfeld, who is said to personally inspect each game board to ensure that it contains the correct maddening distribution of vowels, consonants, and blank tiles. "Your fate was sealed, fair Karen, the moment you reached out to gently place the letters A-X-I-O-M down for a triple-word score!"
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Thursday, July 09, 2009
Jilted Hasbro CEO Laughs Coldly As Scrabble Destroys Another Relationship
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