The Love Doctor Presents: How sexy is your name?

 

According to studies, the first letter of your first name reveals your sexual identity ... What do you think?

You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up front person. When it comes to sex, it's action that counts not obscure hints. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important to you. You find the chase and challenge of the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate and sexual as well as being much more adventurous than you appear; however, you do not go around advertising these qualities. Your physical needs are your primary concern.

You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your expression of endearments and particularly when it comes to lovemaking. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite and abstain from sex if need be. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.

You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You must be able to talk to your sex partner before, during, and after. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sexual and sensual,needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to go for long periods without sexual activity. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.

Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead in pursuit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly sexual, passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement, sometimes possessive and jealous. Sex to you is a pleasure to be enjoyed. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, being free and open.

Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion for a bedmate. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important than the sexual act for you, but once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. When you don't have a good lover to fall asleep with, you will fall asleep with a good book. (Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good look.)

You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt,yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous,sexual,and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic lve scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very generous lover.

You are crap in bed! ( Remember....I didn't write this!!!! LOL)

You seek a mate who can enhance your reputation and earning ability. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be frugal in your spending and dating habits and equally cautious in your sexual involvement. You are a sensual and patient lover.

You have a great need to be loved,appreciated...Even worshipped.You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh.You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of sexual expression.You bore easily and thus require sexual adventure and change. You are more sensual than sexual,but you are sometimes downright lustful.

 

You are totally fu*king marvelous!

You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste.Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving,cuddling, wining,and dining to know that you're being appreciated.

You are very romantic, idealistic, andsomehow you believe that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate or attracting people who have unusual troubles. You see yourself as your lover's savior. You are sincere, passionate, lustful, and dreamy. You can't help falling in love. You really enjoy stimulating yourself, though you are fairly new to it. You fantasize and get turned on by movies and magazines. You do not tell others of this secret life, nor of your sexual fantasies.

You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and also enjoy mothering your mate.

You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You believe in total sexual freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible.You are a flirt,yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous, sexual,and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very generous lover.

You are very interested in sexual activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your sexual energy into making money and/or seeking power. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate, sexual lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. Sex is serious business; thus you demand intensity and diversity, and are willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.

You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of doing anything that might harm your image or reputation. Appearances count, therefore, you require a good-looking partner.You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy; A good fight stimulates those sex vibes. You are relatively free of sexual hang-ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.

You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you, sexually or otherwise. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to peo ple of other ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and lots of conversation to turn you on and keep you going.

You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is very important to you. You have to be proud of your partner. You are privately very sexy, but you do not brag, you are willing to serve as teacher. Sex is important; you can be a very demanding playmate.

You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this.Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along.

You are very sensitive, private, and sexually passive; you like a partner who takes the lead. Music, soft lights and romantic thoughts turn you on. You fantasize, but do not tend to fall in and out of love easily. When in love, you are romantic, idealistic, mushy, and extremely intense. You enjoy having your senses and your feelings stimulated, titillated, and teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, oftentimes all in your own head.

You are enthusiastic and idealistic when in love. When not in love, you are in love with love, always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as a challenge. You are a roamer and need adventure, excitement, and freedom. You deal in potential relationships. You enjoy giving gifts and enjoy seeing your mate looking good. Your sex drive is strong and you desire instant ratification. You are willing to put your partner's pleasures above your own.

You are individualistic, and you need freedom, space, and excitement. You wait until you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching him out. You feel a need to get into his head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to encentric types. Often there is an age difference between you and your lover. You respond to danger, thrills, and suspense. The gay scene turns you on, even though you yourself may not be a participant.

You are very proud, determined, and you refuse to take no for an answer when pursuing love. Your ego is at stake. You are romantic, idealistic, and often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner as he or she really is. You feel deeply and throw all of yourself into your relationships. Nothing is too good for your lover. You enjoy playing love games.

You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You talk while you make love. You can have the greatest love affairs,all by yourself, in your own head.

You are sexual, sensual, and very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forgot the whole thing. You want to control your relationships, which doesn't always work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation, enjoy necking and spending hours just touching, feeling and exploring. However, if you can spend your time making money, you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You need to prove to yourself and your partner what a great lover you are. You want feedback on your performance. You are an open, stimulating and romantic.

Sorry, there was no "Z" in this post. Catching "Z's" no doubt

S O M E T I M E S

 

Sometimes...
when you cry...
no one sees your tears.






Sometimes...
when you are in pain...
no one sees your hurt.






Sometimes...
when you are worried...
no one sees your stress.





Sometimes...
when you are happy...
no one sees your smile.

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

But FART!! just ONE time...

And everybody knows!!

Gotcha!! You thought it was going to be one of those heart-touching stories!

You know you are addicted to coffee if ...

 

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You channel surf faster without a remote.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You short out motion detectors.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
You ski uphill.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You answer the door before people knock.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

Aerobics For Your Brain

 

Click above

R.I.P. Bob Saget (1956 - 2022)

Bob Saget, the actor and comedian who gained fame on the sitcom Full House and as host of America’s Funniest Home Videos before thoroughly shedding his wholesome image, died Sunday at the age of 65.

According to a tweet from the Orange County Sheriff’s Office, Saget was found unresponsive in his hotel room at the Ritz-Carlton Orlando, Grande Lakes, after authorities responded to a call at 4:00 p.m. on Saturday afternoon. Authorities pronounced Saget dead at the scene.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE - A true story

 

Susie is recouping at an incredible pace for someone with a massive stroke all because Sherry saw Susie stumble - -that is the key that isn't mentioned below - and then she asked Susie the 3 questions. So simple - this literally saved Susie's life - - Suzie failed all three so 911 was called.

Even though she had normal blood pressure readings and did not appear to be having a stroke, as she could converse to some extent, the Paramedics took her to the hospital right away.

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify.

Unfortunately,the lack of awareness spells disaster.

The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

*Ask the individual to SMILE.
*Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
*Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE.
 

*And, if you have one, give them an aspirin right away.

If they have trouble with any of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

After discovering that a group of non-medical volunteers could identify facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems, researchers urged the general public to learn the three questions.

They presented their conclusions at the American Stroke Association annual meeting last February. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage.

A cardiologist says if everyone who hears of this information , let's other people know, you can bet that at least one life will be saved. Who knows, one day maybe this information will help save your life.

25 Signs Showing You Might Be Canadian

 

1. You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK".

2. You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine on the chesterfield."

3. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.

4. You drink Pop, not Soda.

5. You know that a Mickey and 24's mean, "party at the camp, eh!!!"

6. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars.

7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.

8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.

10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.

11. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.

12. You brag to Americans that; Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & Mike Myers are Canadians.

13. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!

14. You know what a toque is.

15. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

16. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed".

17. Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

18. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work.

19. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.

20. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

21. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan".

22. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'.

23. You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade.

24. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than, "Huh?"


25. You actually understand these jokes, and forward this post to all of your Canadian friends! Then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them!

The Confused Philosopher

 

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

An whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?

If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide... is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it scarey that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?

Would a wingless fly be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean it up?

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy on the streets?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?

Whatever happened to preparations A through G?

What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Who coined the phrase: 'To coin a phrase'?

How come only fat people drink diet cola?

If books get dog-ears, do dogs get book-ears?

If love isn't a game, why are there so many players?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Why are there D batteries, C batteries, AAA batteries, AA batteries, but no B or single A batteries?

If an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and a stitch in time saves nine, would surgery cost less if only healthy organs were removed?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

A point to ponder...
The Lord's prayer is 66 words. The Gettysburg Address is 286 words. There are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence but the government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.

Brain Teasers

 
Try them first, then if you give up... Click on the picture of the brain:

Number 1:

Can You Solve It?

10, 4, 3, 11, 15...

What number is next?

a) 14
b) 1
c) 17
d) 12

Number 2:

Can You Solve It?

AALLLOUGNINCEACELSSSEANRYTELNETCTEERS

If you cross out all unnecessary letters in the above string of letters, a logical sentence will remain. Can you read what it says?

Number 3:

Can You Solve It?

Imagine you are in a sinking rowboat surrounded by great white sharks. How would you survive?

Click on the brain for the answers

The ZEN of Computing

In Japan, they are considering replacing the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft Error messages with Haiku poetry messages.

Haiku poetry has strict construction rules.

Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables: five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third.
Haiku is used to communicate a timeless message often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity -- the essence of Zen:

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Website you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Learn Yer Kid Good

Click on the flag to see why...

 

R.I.P. Sidney Poitier (1927 - 2022)

Sidney Poitier, the groundbreaking actor and enduring inspiration who transformed how Black people were portrayed on screen, became the first Black actor to win an Academy Award for best lead performance and the first to be a top box-office draw, has died. He was 94.

The legendary actor, director, and former diplomat Sidney Poitier died last night, according to Bahamian Minister of Foreign Affairs Fred Mitchell. He was 94. The first Black man to win the Academy Award for best actor—in 1964.

Stick It To The Telemarketers!

 

Click here.

biarn teirwsts

 

1) The Elder Twin

One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. How come?

2) Manhole Covers

Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones?

This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle which can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an interview question for prospective employees.

3) The Deadly Party

A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?

4) Trouble with Sons

A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?

5) The Man in the Bar

A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says 'Thank you' and walks out.

This puzzle has claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of figuring it out.

Click here for the answers.

I wish I had known..

 

Click here.

Bye Bye Facebook

Well it's been about a month now since I was active on Facebook. I feel that now I can delete my account. I have to download all my content, but then yes, I will permanently delete my account. I truly don't miss it anymore and you know what? I started walking during my lunch at work. I walk approximately 4000 steps instead of checking the Facebook feed. 

I say, if you aren't getting anything out of Facebook, and you find it angersome with all the Covid talk and false scammy ads, go ahead. Break the connection. If I can do it, then you can!

The Wizard

A Lesson in Witchcraft

 

Does This symbol scare you? It shouldn't....
Click here to find out why.

R.I.P. Peter Bogdanovich (1939 - 2022)

Oscar-nominated director Peter Bogdanovich, who was one of the 'New Hollywood' directors and a star in The Sopranos, has died at his home in Los Angeles aged 82.

Peter's daughter, Antonia Bogdanovich, confirmed the news that the director of The Last Picture Show had passed away.

100 Ways To Live To 100

 

I know that you have seen this before. Another reminder. Click here.

Are You Smarter Than A 4 Year Old?

(This one's a bit wet)

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Wrong Answer : Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.

Correct Answer : Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer : The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions, correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting! This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.

(No doubt Anderson were at the meeting with the other crocodiles -- The Wizard)

"Sign" Language

 

Read Row by row, left to right...

The consequences of an instantaneous switch to the metric system in the U.S.

 

Border Crossing Guards




OOPS!












A hand is a hand, or so I thought....


Metric Scale


Drug Metrics 101


Use Yer Eyes, Man!

Strange People (Facts)

 

Click Below:

Ten reasons to go to work naked..actually 11...

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

3. Inventive way to finally meet that hottie in Human Resources.

4. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

5. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

6. You want to see if it's like the dream.

7. So that-with a little help from Muzak-you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your already exaggerated resume.

8. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

9. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work stoned.

10. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

11. No one steals your chair.

EEC GLOSSARY OF ENGLISH/GERMAN MOTORING TERMS

 

ACCIDENT - Der bludimessen
BONNET - Pullenob und knucklechopper
BREATHALYSER - Die puffintem fur pistenarsen
CLUTCH - Die kuplink mit sclippen und schaken  

 

CYCLIST - Der pedalpushink pillloken
ESTATE CAR - Der bagerroom fur shaggininauto
EXHAUST - Spitzenpoppen bangentuben
FOOTBRAKE - Der edbangeronvindschreen stoppenquick
GEAR LEVER - Biggensticken fur kangaroojumpen
 

HEADLIGHTS - Das dippendontdazzelubastad
HIGHWAY CODE - Der wipen fur arsen
INDICATORS - Die plinken tickentocken
JUGGERNAUT - Der fukkengretten trukken
LEARNER - Die twaten mit elplatz
 

NEAR ACCIDENT - Der fukken nearen schittenselfen
PARKING METER - Der tennerpinscher und klockenwerr
PUNCTURE - Die phlatt mit bludyfukken
SEATBELTS - Der klunkenklicker frauleintrapper
SKID - Der bannanan waltzen
 

SPEEDOMETER - Das Egoboozta mit Digitsundneedle
TYRES - Flattenfahrts
WINDSCREEN WIPER - Der flippenflappen muckenschpredder

The Old Couple

The two old boys were rocking back and forth on the front porch of the Happy Trails Gay Senior home. They had been together for more than 50 years, and now they enjoying their golden years at the retirement centre.

Slowly they rocked, in rhythm as this was their time to spend a few quiet moments and after years of practice they rocked to the same pace.

Suddenly Bruce stopped, grabbed his cane, and with a loud and hard WHACK hit Mort across the shins.

Poor old Mort's eyes watered and tears ran down his cheeks. When he finally caught his breath he gasped and asked, "What'd you do that fer?"

"That's fer fifty years of bad sex," Bruce said.

Mort just nodded his head, saying nothing.

Slowly they began to rock again. Again they kept pace. Back and forth, back and forth they rocked, until suddenly Mort stopped, and picked up his cane.

He reached over and with a loud, sharp WHACK, he hit Bruce across the shins.

As soon as Bruce's eyes quit watering and he could speak he asked, "What was that fer?"

"That," said Mort, as he began to rock again, "is fer knowin' the difference."

Medical Terminology

 

Anally -- occurring yearly
Artery -- study of paintings
Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria
Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U

Caesarian section -- district in Rome
Cat scan -- searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- sheep dog
Coma -- a punctuation mark

Congenital -- friendly
D&C -- where Washington is
Diarrhea -- journal of daily events
Dilate -- to live long
Enema -- not a friend

Fester -- quicker
Fibula -- a small lie
Genital -- non-Jewish
G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- suitcase

Hangnail -- coathook
Impotent -- distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- torture in a teepee
Labour pain -- got hurt at work
Medical staff -- doctor's cane

Morbid -- higher offer
Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate
Node -- was aware of
Outpatient -- person who had fainted
Pap smear -- fatherhood test

Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- letter carrier
Protein -- favouring young people
Rectum -- damn near killed 'em
Recovery room -- place to do upholstery

Rheumatic -- amorous
Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- study of knighthood

Tablet -- small tablet
Terminal illness -- sickness at airport
Tibia -- country in North Africa
Tumour -- an extra pair
Urine -- opposite of you're out
Varicose -- located nearby
Vein -- conceited

Try Something New And Fun!

 

Build a city! Click here.

Where are all my loyal 'OZ' Readers?

 

I am a little surprised there are none from Mexico, South America or Africa, and only 5% from Canada. Not surprised there are only 1 visitor from China and none from North Korea.

Watch This . . .

 

  THANKS TO ME... YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO FOR A LITTLE WHILE NOW!!   Have a Wonderful Day!

Humour

ONLY IN CANADA 

1. Only in Canada .......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance 

2. Only in Canada .......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 

3. Only in Canada .....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in Canada .......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 

5. Only in Canada .......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 

6. Only in Canada .......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 

7. Only in Canada .......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 

8. Only in Canada .....do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight. 

9. Only in Canada ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning bloodsucking creatures'. 

10. Only in Canada ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

 

EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? 

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? 

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? 

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? 

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? 

Why is it that to stop Windows XP, you have to click on "Start"? 

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? 

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? 

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food? 

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? 

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? 

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? 

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! 

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? 

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? 

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? 

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? 

Can You Spot The Differences?

Why U.S. Navy Seals are better than the Iraqi Navy Seals... click on each link

U.S.
 
IRAQI 

and then there's Canada's...What aboot Canada, eh?

CANADA

Walking in winter

 

"I hope..."

By Trent Deerhorn

I am not one who makes New Year’s resolutions. I frankly find those to be a joke, considering that very few people ever succeed with them. But I do have wishes and hopes for the coming year. These are for me, yes, but they are also for everyone else who resonates with them. So here goes:

I hope that you allow yourself to forgive whatever part of yourself from your past that is holding onto any form of shame or guilt.

I hope that you allow yourself to let go of any negative thoughts and beliefs that are not resonant with the divine and sovereign being that you truly are.

I hope that you take the appropriate steps to create a vast and beautiful life for yourself.

I hope that you learn to love yourself more deeply every day.

I hope that you find fulfillment in life, in relationships and in your work.

I hope that you recognize that what you do for a living is not who you are.

I hope that you come to know yourself better each day and that you are happy with who you know.

I hope that you pursue your dreams with as much vigor and resilience as you have been using in a job that does not value you as a person.

I hope that you avoid, at all costs, the temptation to sink into mediocrity.I hope that you see your dreams as valid opportunities that you only need to put effort into to manifest.

I hope that each day you take at least one step toward what your life’s goals are.

I hope that you adjust your life’s goals to weed out the materialistic and plant the humanitarian aspects.

I hope that you will be someone’s hero and that you will also be your own hero.

I hope that you will feel a deep connection to the Earth and all her creatures.

I hope that you will feel a deep connection to the divine.

I hope that you will recognize all that which only serves as a distraction from what you truly want, and that you will eliminate it from your life.

I hope that you will allow yourself time in silence, for it is in silence that true inspiration takes place.

For more articles from the Shaman's Hut, visit Trent's blog at

www.deerhornshamanic.com

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

 

Happy New Year from The Wizard of 'OZ'!

I wanted to take this time to thank all my wonderful readers and to reach out to each and every one of you and wish you all a truly Happy New Year and the best to you in 2022. I promise to keep posting 3 times a day every day for your reading pleasure.

--The Wizard