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Sunday, January 09, 2022

The Confused Philosopher


Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

An whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?

If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide... is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it scarey that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?

Would a wingless fly be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean it up?

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy on the streets?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?

Whatever happened to preparations A through G?

What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Who coined the phrase: 'To coin a phrase'?

How come only fat people drink diet cola?

If books get dog-ears, do dogs get book-ears?

If love isn't a game, why are there so many players?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Why are there D batteries, C batteries, AAA batteries, AA batteries, but no B or single A batteries?

If an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and a stitch in time saves nine, would surgery cost less if only healthy organs were removed?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

A point to ponder...
The Lord's prayer is 66 words. The Gettysburg Address is 286 words. There are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence but the government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.

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