Flirting

 

When it comes to flirting it seems that straight people have their own unique system, but maybe there's something to learn from them, with a few modifications.

Eye to Eye….Contact
Repeated contact...at least three separate verbal or non-verbal clues need to be given. One to make sure it`s really him that you are flirting with, two so he knows it's him and gets flushed and three to introducing yourself.

Beware three different forms of eye contact in a gay bar send out completely different signals. Far from a tentative step towards an introduction, you’ll be half way back to his bedroom with your pants round your ankles and a stray finger tickling your starfish before you can say ‘Well Bugger Me Billy-O’

Hard Shoulder
Look over your shoulder...and smile at him. This asymmetrical position is always a signal you are interested.

The only asymmetrical position that will win you favor in a gay bar involves whipping both legs behind your head and trouser syncing to ‘Yankee Doodle Dandy.’

Gently Does It
Treat men gently...If someone you are not interested in approaches you and flirts ...be nice....All the other men are watching to see what you do. Try shaking his hand and saying something like: "It was so nice of you to approach me...what's your name? Tom? Tom, I know how hard it is to meet people...I might have a girlfriend who would be interested in you.”

Whatever happened to ‘treat em mean – keep em keen’? If ‘Tom’ minces his way over to you with the face of a wart hog, then don’t be an ass and palm him off on one of your friends. Simple scream for security and make like he’s dealing or something. A night in the slammer will help him re-evaluate his attractiveness!

Whispering Your Name
Whisper...it always gets their attention. Ask them if you can tell them a secret...Then whisper in their ear: "I just love your tie...can I buy it from you when you are done with it?

Firstly – have you ever tried whispering in a gay bar? – you have to practically pop a lung to order a drink over Cher’s dulcet tones these days. Gay men don’t tend to wear ties unless fetish requirements dictate, so perhaps replace with more appropriate gay accessories such as fake tan, highlights or Botox.

Who’s Your Buddy
Use the Buddy system. Walk through a group of men and have someone watch to see who's checking you out.

This relies on your ability to be able to trust your gay friends. Gay men are not to be trusted at any time, and while you’re slinking your little tuchy across the floor, your ‘so called’ best friend will be hot footing it off with your man. It’s all a question of survival, you know.

Simply Irresistible
Become More Irresistible! Show a little leg....wear higher heels... Arch your back a little as you sit up tall and cross your legs high. Wear earrings that are interesting enough to make someone comment on them.

Unless you happen to find yourself in ‘Trannie Central’ then perhaps hang fire with all this legs crossing and high heel business. Arch your back to show off your tits, by all means, but if you’re wearing earrings that beg a comment it’s time to ditch the Pat Butcher look, my sweet!

Head To Toe
Give him a look all over from head to toe - nod with approval and then flash him your most winning smile.

It’s one thing to show him that you’re still blessed with your own teeth, but smiles don’t win the day in gayland. Try flashing him a spitting trouser snake and you’ll be having company tonight, Miss Otis!

*by Chuck Winston, 365Gay.com Love & Sexuality Writer