Dear Love Doctor,
I feel awful. Let me give you some background on why. I am a gay man and have been out for 20 years. Prior to being out I had relationships with several guys, and they started when I was younger, with boys my own age. The relationships were nice, but didn't last too long, around a year or so. Most of the time, they broke it off with me and told me they weren't gay and that we had made a mistake in getting intimate. What I am feeling bad about is that the majority of guys I was intimate with have either killed themselves or died from other causes. One by pills, one by poison, one by what can only be described as a car accident being no accident at all. 2 have died from AIDS. It seems to be an inordinate amount. I wonder why they are choosing to die? Did I have some part in that? What do you think, Doctor?
Signed,
Typhoid Mark
Dear Mark,
While I think you've had bad luck, it would be hard pressed to say with any certainty that you caused them to kill themselves. It is more likely that they couldn't handle being gay in a heterosexual society. It's sad to note that you have had so much heartache in your life regarding the partners you had. You don't say how many have died - what about how many have lived? Look up some of your old partners and talk with them. Find out how they are doing. You will be surprised, likely that far more of your former partners are living comfortable lives. So no, I don't believe you should feel bad about the partners that you had have committed suicide. The odds are in your favour that there is no correlation with that.
The Love Doctor
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