*Defence Attorney:* Will you please state your age?
*Little Old Lady:* I am 86 years old.
*Defence Attorney:* Will you tell us in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
*Little Old Lady:* There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
*Defence Attorney:* Did you know him?
*Little Old Lady:* No, but he sure was friendly.
*Defence Attorney:* What happened after he sat down?
* Little Old Lady:* He started to rub my thigh.
*Defence Attorney:* Did you stop him?
*Little Old Lady: *No, I did
*Defence Attorney:* Why not?
*Little Old Lady:* It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died some 30 years ago.
*Defence Attorney:* What happened next?
*Little Old Lady:* He began to rub my breasts.
*Defence Attorney:* Did you stop him then?
*Little Old Lady:* No, I did not stop him.
*Defence Attorney:* Why not?
*Little Old Lady: *His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited I haven't felt that good in years!
*Defence Attorney:* What happened next?
*Little Old Lady:* Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!"
*Defence Attorney: *Did he take you?
*Little Old Lady: *Hell, no! He yelled, "April Fool"!! And that's when I shot the little bastard.
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