"I’m not an Alcoholic, I’m a Drunk – Alcoholics go to Meetings!"
"This Is Not The Life I Ordered!"
"Jesus is Coming – Look Busy"
"Homosexuals are Gay"
"Sex is like air, it’s not really that important until you’re not getting any…"
"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you’re abusing the privilege"
"I need someone really bad… Are you really bad?"
"Screw me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we met before?"
"One out of four people in this country is Mentally Unbalanced – think of your three closest friends, if they seem ok, then you’re the one…"
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