Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners

 

Why do bees stay in their beehives all through the winter?

Swarm.



Mrs. Goldberg was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, "How much are these oranges?"

"Two for a dollar," answered the vendor.

"How much is just one?" she asked.

"Sixty cents," answered the vendor.

"Then I'll take the other one," said Mrs. Goldberg. 



A Sunday School teacher was trying to explain about saying grace before meals.

One of the pupils was the young son of the minister of that church, so she started the discussion by asking him, "Jerry, what does you father say when the family sits down to dinner?"

Jerry answered, "Dad says 'Go easy on the butter, kids - it's three bucks a pound!'" 



"Wise men are always in doubt. Only idiots are sure of their case."

"Are you sure of that?"

"Yes, absolutely."  

Salesman: "Madam, do you want this powder?"

Housewife: "For what?"

Salesman: "For ants."

Housewife: "No. If I give powder today, they will ask for lipstick tomorrow."

Why did the man place scissors inside the refrigerator?

To remind himself he needed cold cuts!