Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners

 

Three years after the honeymoon it appears their puppy love had matured.

"You don't love me any more," she sobbed. "You use to be so nice to me, and now you are always barking and growling."

"What do you expect," he demanded. "You've always got me in the doghouse."



On a cross country train, one of the passengers told the Pullman porter, "I must get off in Chicago. I'll probably be very sleepy, irritable, and may even object to getting off. Don't mind that. Throw me off the train if necessary."

The train had long since passed Chicago when the passenger woke on his own accord. He stormed down the train looking for the porter. As they almost collided between cars the porter's eyes popped really big and he said, "My goodness! How did you get back on this train?"



The well known concert pianist agreed to listen to a friend's daughter play the piano. He was a very polite man and didn't make a wry face, even though he wanted to.

"Do you think I should go to the conservatory in Paris?" she asked after she had finished.

"It can't hurt," he replied hastily. "There are many eligible bachelors there."



Three Engineering students at a prestigious university were sharing a can of "one-calorie" diet cola. After pouring it equally into three cups one of them drank his. Then the second drank hers.

The third Engineer just stared at the cup suspiciously. "I wonder who got the calorie?"

Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policemen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.

"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."

Amazed, the driver asked for what.

The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."

One day YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge...

It'll be called YouTwitFace.