Stupid Pick-Up Lines

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.

2. (Lick finger and wipe on his shirt)... Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

3. Nice ass... what time does it open?

4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

7. I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Cocked Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

9. Wanna play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Wal-Mart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

13. You might not be the best-looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

14. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

15. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

16. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

17. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

18. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Easy Bottom?

19. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

20. My name is Mark... remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

21. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

22. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

23. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

24. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anywhere you want to.

25. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

26. If you and I were the last men on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

27. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

28. Dude, I'm an American Express lover... you shouldn't go home without me.

29. Do you sleep on your stomach? No...? Can I ???

30. Do you wash your jeans in Windex? ...because I can see myself in them.