Did you hear the one about the cruel manicurist who married the mean dentist?
They fought tooth and nail.
Malcolm: What sight do you remember most vividly from your trip to Alaska?
Maurice: I was startled to see an Eskimo playing ice hockey with a polar bear!
Malcolm: That’s amazing!
Maurice: Not really. It turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Barry.
Barry who?
Barry me not on the lone prairie
History teacher: Little Joey, go to the map and find North America.
Little Joey: Here it is.
History teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: Little Joey!
Just the facts
A baby is an addition that becomes a deduction.
Not found in Webster's
autobiography: A work of fiction in which the author is the hero.
Bartender: So you had another argument with your wife?
Monty: Yes, but I got in the last words!
Bartender: Way to go! What did you say?
Monty: “You’re right, I’m sorry.”
Pam: Wasn’t your uncle an American ambassador for thirty years?
Sam: Yes, and after he retired, he traveled around the world visiting all the friends he’d made.
Pam: Wow! How long did that take?
Sam: He was back the next morning.
Omar: How did you like visiting your girlfriend’s family?
Chester: Great! Her brothers were particularly friendly.
Omar: Why do you say that?
Chester: Because every time we went out, they all volunteered to carry my wallet.
They fought tooth and nail.
Malcolm: What sight do you remember most vividly from your trip to Alaska?
Maurice: I was startled to see an Eskimo playing ice hockey with a polar bear!
Malcolm: That’s amazing!
Maurice: Not really. It turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Barry.
Barry who?
Barry me not on the lone prairie
History teacher: Little Joey, go to the map and find North America.
Little Joey: Here it is.
History teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: Little Joey!
Just the facts
A baby is an addition that becomes a deduction.
Not found in Webster's
autobiography: A work of fiction in which the author is the hero.
Bartender: So you had another argument with your wife?
Monty: Yes, but I got in the last words!
Bartender: Way to go! What did you say?
Monty: “You’re right, I’m sorry.”
Pam: Wasn’t your uncle an American ambassador for thirty years?
Sam: Yes, and after he retired, he traveled around the world visiting all the friends he’d made.
Pam: Wow! How long did that take?
Sam: He was back the next morning.
Omar: How did you like visiting your girlfriend’s family?
Chester: Great! Her brothers were particularly friendly.
Omar: Why do you say that?
Chester: Because every time we went out, they all volunteered to carry my wallet.
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