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Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Sadly Necessary Warnings and Instructions

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- 'Do not turn upside down.'

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- 'Warning: contains nuts.'

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- 'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.' (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- 'Product will be hot after heating.'

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap -- 'Directions: Use like regular soap.'

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- 'Serving suggestion: Defrost.' (but, it's just a suggestion.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- 'Do not iron clothes on body.'

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- 'Warning: May cause drowsiness.'

On most brands of Christmas lights -- 'For indoor or outdoor use only.' (as opposed to?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- 'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.'

On a child's Superman costume -- 'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.'

On a Swedish chainsaw -- 'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.'

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals

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