Burlesque Witticisms

No Sex



A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr. Chang. So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said 'OK take off all your crose. 'The woman did as she was told. 'Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.' Again the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said 'OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.' So she did. Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said 'Your probrem vewy bad.

You haf Ed Zachary diease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.' Worried the woman asked anxiously 'Oh my God Dr.Chang what is Ed Zachary Disease ?'

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied 'Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass.'


An Old Nursery Something

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.



Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.



Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Jack forgot his condom and Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.



Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.