Home for the Holidays
A student was heading home for the holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to New York and as she gave the agent her luggage she asked, "I'd like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii, and my red suitcase to London."
The confused agent said, "I'm sorry, we can't to that."
"Really? I am so relieved to hear you say that because, that's exactly what you did to my luggage last year!"
Same Place As Before
Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture and bagged six big bucks.
The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected and he said, "The plane can only take four of your elk, you will have to leave two behind."
They argued with him. The year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the same model and capacity. Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard. But when they attempted to take off and leave the valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"
"I think so," replied the other hunter. "I think this is about the same place where we landed last year!"
Divorce Fee
Husband: What's your fee for getting a divorce?
Lawyer: $800
Husband: But you charged only $300 for my marriage license a few years ago!
Lawyer: Freedom is always expensive.
Why Not Take the Bus?
Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”
Man: “I had to get to work.”
Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”
Man: "I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus."
Country Puddle
A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. "Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked.
"I reckon so," replied the farmer.
The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface. As his head broke the surface the man said to the farmer, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!"
"Well, golly," said the farmer, scratching his head. "It only come up chest-high on my ducks!"
A student was heading home for the holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to New York and as she gave the agent her luggage she asked, "I'd like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii, and my red suitcase to London."
The confused agent said, "I'm sorry, we can't to that."
"Really? I am so relieved to hear you say that because, that's exactly what you did to my luggage last year!"
Same Place As Before
Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture and bagged six big bucks.
The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected and he said, "The plane can only take four of your elk, you will have to leave two behind."
They argued with him. The year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the same model and capacity. Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard. But when they attempted to take off and leave the valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"
"I think so," replied the other hunter. "I think this is about the same place where we landed last year!"
Divorce Fee
Husband: What's your fee for getting a divorce?
Lawyer: $800
Husband: But you charged only $300 for my marriage license a few years ago!
Lawyer: Freedom is always expensive.
Why Not Take the Bus?
Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”
Man: “I had to get to work.”
Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”
Man: "I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus."
Country Puddle
A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. "Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked.
"I reckon so," replied the farmer.
The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface. As his head broke the surface the man said to the farmer, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!"
"Well, golly," said the farmer, scratching his head. "It only come up chest-high on my ducks!"
No comments:
Post a Comment