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Tuesday, June 14, 2016

One or Two Liner Puns

1. Archaeologists in Britain found part of an ancient door. It had a stone hinge on it.

2. I just "affixed" a stamp to an envelope as the envelope instructed me to do. I realised that I enjoy affixing stamps. Does this make me a stamp affixionado?

3. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure...

4. Ever since my friend had all the digits amputated from his feet, I find him very annoying. I think I might be lack-toes intolerant.

5. Did you hear that the French have brought out a portable stereo which looks like a big chocolate cake. It's called a gateaux blaster.

6. The policeman pulls over a car onto the side of the road and walks over to the driver.
"Do you realise you've got two snakes attached to the front of your car?" he asks.
"It's all right," replies the driver, "they're just my windscreen vipers."

7. My Father was a brick layer before he was sent to prison; to this day he still isn't a free mason.

8. There was one a dromedary whose fur was an amazingly close match in colour to the desert sand, and he was almost impossible to see. Some called him 'the invisible dromedary', but in reality he wasn't invisible; he was just really well camel-flaged.

9. Did you hear about the new line of Elvis Presley-themed steakhouses? They will be for people who love meat tender.

10. The price of chess pieces was going up. I had to buy quickly, so I decided to contact my pawn broker.

When asked if my friends understood these puns... not one Pun-In-Ten-Did.

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