Dangerous Church

In a small southern town, Billy Joe shows up at the doctor's office at 2:00 p.m. one Sunday afternoon with several bruises on his face.

The doctor says, "Another barroom brawl, eh Billy Joe?"

"No!" answers Billy Joe. "This happened in church!"

"In church? What happened?" asks the doctor.

Billy Joe says, "Well, I went to church and sat in the pew. Then a real big fat woman sits in the pew in front of me. We get up to sing, and I see that her dress is stuck up the crack of her butt, so I pulled it out for her. Then she whopped me with her purse."

The doctor treats his wounds and warns him not to do that again.

A week later, on Sunday afternoon, Billy Joe is back at the doctor's office, bruised worse than before. The doctor said, "Now this must have come from your friends at the bar, right Billy Joe?"

Billy Joe looks sadly into the doctor's eyes and cries, "No! No! This happened in church again!" Extremely puzzled, the doctor asks for the explanation.

Billy Joe says, "I went to church and sat in the pew. My friend John Boy comes in and sits down next to me. Then comes this same big fat woman again, and she sits in the pew in front of us. We get up to sing, and her dress is stuck up the back of her butt again."

The doctor says, "Oh no, Billy. You didn't pull it out again! Didn't you learn your lesson last week?"

"No, no, Doc, I didn't pull it out," replies Billy Joe. "John Bob did. And knowing how much she doesn't like that, I tried to push it back in for her!"