*Short Observations*

I dialed a number and got the following recording:



"I am not available right now, but

Thank you for caring enough to call.

 I am making some changes in my life.

Please leave a message after the

Beep. If I do not return your call,

You are one of the changes."




Aspire to inspire before you expire.

 





( I LOVE THIS ONE! )

My wife and I had words,

But I didn't get to use mine.


Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.







The irony of life is that, by the time

You're old enough to know your way around,

You're not going anywhere.









God made man before woman so as to give him time

To think of an answer for her first question.







I was always taught to respect my elders,

But it keeps getting harder to find one.






Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!"


 





What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,

And Panic is when both are pregnant.


 






Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?



Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted,

Dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.


 





A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident
 and confidential?"



Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.

Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential."