PIANO TUNER - A man appeared at a woman's front door and announced: "Madam, I'm the piano tuner." "I didn't send for a tuner," the piano-playing lady said. "I know, lady," the man replied. Your neighbor did."
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait.
TOURIST: (to farmer): Lived here all your life? FARMER: Not yet.
At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
Out of the Mouths of Babes . . . A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
What would you get if you crossed a comedian and a spiritualist? A happy medium.
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