Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

 ON MUST WE? It’s time to put our blood or our urine where our mouth is. --Iowa State Representative and Speaker of the Iowa House Pat Murphy, referring to drug testing  

ON PASS THE PAELLA INSTEAD, PLEASE • Grilled Knives • Clams to the Sailor • Turned Around of Mushrooms --menu items, Spain 

ON RÉSUMÉS FROM HELL

• Qualifications: Twin sister has accounting degree. • Salary requirements: Starting over due to recent bankruptcies. Need large bonus when starting job. • References: Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers. --included on actual résumés

ON “ON SECOND THOUGHT, LET’S GO FOR A BIG MAC” TRY A 50 YEAR OLD WHOPPER WITH CHEESE! --sign outside a Burger King (advertising the fact that the Whopper had been invented 50 years before) 

ON HOTEL GUESTS WE HAVE RESERVATIONS ABOUT • Are you open on weekends? • Are we confined to our room or are we allowed to go out? • How dare you fold the towels in the room like that! That’s not how I fold them at home! I reserved this room a month ago; you knew I was coming here! --actual questions/comment from guests to a front desk employee of a major hotel (thanks to Crystal Lemcke)