Divorce, Polish style

A Polish guy married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well. Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him- "very quick. " The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: Have you any grounds?

POLISH GUY: JA, JA, an acre and half and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms.

LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

POLISH GUY: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded.

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"

POLISH GUY: "No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"

POLISH GUY: "All my relations are in Poland."

LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

POLISH GUY: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

LAWYER: No, I mean Does your wife beat you up?

POLISH GUY: No, I'm always up before her.

LAWYER: Why do you want this divorce?

POLISH GUY: She going to kill me.

LAWYER: What makes you think that?

POLISH GUY: I got proof.

LAWYER: What kind of proof?

POLISH GUY: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read -- it says, "Polish Remover."