Catty Men!

Four men were bragging about their smart cats.

The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, and the fourth was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies, then divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Teaspoon, do your stuff." Teaspoon got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, then got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was pretty amazing.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?". The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate all the cookies, drank all the milk, took a crap on the paper, mounted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation, and the rest of the day on sick leave.