Adult Rhymes

Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To have a little fun-Stupid Jill
Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread

Little Miss Muffet
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Simple Simon
Simple Simon met a Pieman
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you dickhead!"

Humpty Dumpty
Humpty dumpty sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men
had scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast

Hickory Dickory Dock
Hickory dickory dock,
Three mice ran up the clock
the clock struck one,
and the others got away with minor injuries

Hey Diddle Diddle
Hey diddle, diddle,
the cat did a piddle,
all over the bedside clock,
The little dog laughed to see such fun
And the cat died of electric shock.

Mary
Mary had a little lamb,
It walked into a pylon,
10,000 volts went up it's arse,
And turned it's wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgy
Georgie Porgy Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
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