Going Out

A couple was going out for the evening. They got ready, put the dog out, and were ready to go. When the taxi arrived, the dog shot back in the house. They didn't want the dog shut in the house, so the wife went out to the taxi while the husband went upstairs to chase the dog out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty, explained to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband got into the cab.

"Sorry I took so long," he said. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the backyard! She better not sh*t in the vegetable garden again either!"