“How long have you been working here?” one employee asked to another.
“Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.”
A tactical wife is one who makes sure she spends so much on herself that her husband can't afford another woman.
One guy to another, “Last week I took the first step towards getting divorced.”
“Did you see a lawyer?”
“No, I got married.”
Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stamp out burning ducks.
Three immigrants to the U. S. were just mastering the language. One was telling the others about the difficulty they were having in attempting to start a family. He said, "I think my wife must be impregnable." The second said," that's not the right word, she is inconceivable". To which the third replied, "You are both wrong she is unbearable."
A down and out musician was playing his harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman asked, “May I please see your permit?” I don’t have one,” confessed the musician. “In that case, you’ll have to accompany me.”
“Splendid!” exclaimed the musician. “What shall we sing?”
A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since it seem quite unique the fact that her new husband was a ‘funeral director.’ After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a funeral director. The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse carriers. With a smile on her face she explained, ‘I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.’
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