Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON YOU COULD TAKE THIS EITHER WAY
"Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the green."

--commentator Richie Benaud, during a British Masters golf tournament

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON INSTRUCTIONS, HARD TO FOLLOW
"When you’re talking about me, keep your mouth shut."

--Toronto mayor Allan Lamport

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON UH, OOOOOKAY

Game show host Les Dennis: Name something sold by gypsies.

Contestant: Bananas.

--on the game show Family Fortunes, ITV (UK)

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON MAY THEY NEVER COME BACK, AMEN
"Our choir sang in a broadcast from Minneapolis. It was nice to hear them and realize they were nearly a thousand miles away."

--in a church bulletin

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON WHO WOULDN’T BE?
"ANNE BAXTER PROUD OF HER GRANDFATHER’S ERECTIONS"

--headline for an article about actress Anne Baxter—and her pride in having famed architect Frank Lloyd Wright as her grandfather

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON AMUSEMENT PARK SAFETY SIGNS, VITAL
"DO NOT SEPARATE YOUR EGGS."

--sign at the top of a water slide at an amusement park in Salou, Spain