Dearest Billy Bob:
I'm writing this real slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your daddy read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I can't send you the address because the last family that lived here was from north Georgia. They took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, but I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We ain't seen 'em since.
The weather ain't bad here. It only rained twice last week. The first time was for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send. Your Uncle Pa said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with them buttons on, so we cut 'em off and put 'em in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your daddy out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.
Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and finally drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to the bank. Sam and Junior were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down!
There isn't much more news at this time Billy Bob. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Your Favorite Aunt,
Mom
*Thanks, Andy
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