Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON DO WE GET CUT RATES FOR URNS?

ADULTS: 1 USD

CHILD: 50 CENTS

CADAVERS: SUBJECT TO NEGOTIATION

--sign at ferry terminal, Davao, Philippines

ON GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS, EXTRAORDINARILY STRANGE
Umberto Bossi. Been born, 1941. Conjugated, 4 sons. In 1979 enters into contact with the world and ne she becomes the flagman...Journalist, is founding of various various journalistic heads and average...he comes to an agreement himself with the Pole of Freedoms.

--from the listing of government officials on the official Web site of the Italian government (www.governo.it), later removed (The official excuse was that they were using a machine translation software as a trial run, and not for general consumption.)

ON THANKS FOR THE INSIGHT
"This global terrorism is everywhere."

--Madonna

ON REALITY PROBLEMS, RED SOX ANNOUNCERS AND
"I think that ball fooled Nomar. I think it was hit harder than it actually was."

--Red Sox sportscaster Joe Castiglione

ON THIS GIVES NEW MEANING TO THE PHRASE “LOUD CLOTHING”
"[That was] the shirt heard round the world."

--Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Massachusetts)

ON SECOND COMINGS, MAKING THEM EASIER
CHRIST IS COMING!

PLEASE DO NOT OBSTRUCT THESE GATES.

--two signs, one on top of the other, at St. Paul’s Cathedral, London

ON EXCUSES, TYPICAL CLINTONIAN
"There were a lot of times when we were alone, but I never really thought we were. "

--President Bill Clinton, in his grand jury testimony