What do you do when people do not understand bi-polar disorder, depression and you? What if they don't understand 'being gay'? Call it a double whammy..
I don't know. What I do know is that I have to live every day with mood swings, (not as severe that I am on medications.. and the highs have mostly gone, most days I feel just o.k. or depressed). No. Unless you have experienced what I am going through, then you can't know. No. This is not self pity. This is my reality.
What do you do if you see no future for yourself? No-one can give you a future. You have to earn it, yes? What if, no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem do it? Can't seem to make it happen.
I just don't know what I can do about this. I keep trying and keep failing. I want to be closer to my son, whom I love with all my heart, yet, I cannot get too involved in his life until I am better. I think of my son every day and I miss him every day. I have been told that I 'chose' to be depressed, 'chose' to be gay, 'chose' to be alone, 'chose' to stay away from my son. The only 'choice' I made was to get married, have a kid and try to live a 'normal' life. What the F*CK is 'normal' anyways..
Sucks to be me. Sucks to be people who know me. Sucks to be everything. Life just plain sucks.
No one understands. Not unless they are me. I know that usually The Wizard has some fun posts and such, but he just does not feel up to posting any more today. Sorry.
I don't know. What I do know is that I have to live every day with mood swings, (not as severe that I am on medications.. and the highs have mostly gone, most days I feel just o.k. or depressed). No. Unless you have experienced what I am going through, then you can't know. No. This is not self pity. This is my reality.
What do you do if you see no future for yourself? No-one can give you a future. You have to earn it, yes? What if, no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem do it? Can't seem to make it happen.
I just don't know what I can do about this. I keep trying and keep failing. I want to be closer to my son, whom I love with all my heart, yet, I cannot get too involved in his life until I am better. I think of my son every day and I miss him every day. I have been told that I 'chose' to be depressed, 'chose' to be gay, 'chose' to be alone, 'chose' to stay away from my son. The only 'choice' I made was to get married, have a kid and try to live a 'normal' life. What the F*CK is 'normal' anyways..
Sucks to be me. Sucks to be people who know me. Sucks to be everything. Life just plain sucks.
No one understands. Not unless they are me. I know that usually The Wizard has some fun posts and such, but he just does not feel up to posting any more today. Sorry.
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