I'm in my early 20s and have been always single. I have been feeling so worthless lately as all I've been having is casual sex. I mean I sleep with a different man EVERY night. My friends all think I'm trying to get HIV, by sleeping with so many men. I always use protection so nothing is wrong with that end. My issue is that I am unable to get into a relationship. I'm not afraid of commitment. I have a cat. But when I meet guys, we go for coffee, talk then we have sex. I want to end this cycle. Can you help me?
Dear Mr. Casual,
Casual experiences don't have to be meaningless, cold, or transactional. How many of those partners are repeaters? I would say, go after the repeaters. They obviously like you more than just a one night stand. You say you aren't afraid of commitment, yet every day you lather, rinse and repeat. I'm not sure a cat has the same level of commitment that a loving relationship has. Relationships are not always as good as they are cracked up to be. Especially if you don't handle commitment well. Perhaps. in the meantime, I would try to limit the # of sex partners in a given week. I mean, while condoms are really good at protecting you from HIV they are NOT 100%. Be careful, and always find out their status, it may make you more careful and you can maybe prevent a very bad thing from happening. If you are super serious about getting into a longer term romantic entanglement, I suggest going (alone) to friends parties, or for coffee etc, but make it a point -- NO SEX ON THE FIRST DATE!
The Love Doctor PHD*
OZians? Can you talk about your casual-yet-meaningful experiences? Or events that only took an hour?
*Pretty Handsome Dude