Parental Guidance Suggested

'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow: Newfie Birth Control

'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow

Send in computer questions by clicking on The Wizard at the top of 'OZ'. Posting is at 10AM and 2PM CST daily. 4 days of posts are on the main page. The archives have more. You can forward posts by clicking on the envelope at the bottom of the post - Enjoy your stay! ***If there is a copyright issue, please email me by clicking on The Wizard at the top right of the page and I will provide credit, change it to a link, or remove the post.***

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Newfie Birth Control

Note: For my non-Canadian reader's, a 'Newfie' is someone from Newfoundland...)

Dear Doctor White

Lard thunderin' jassssus bye, I'm at me wits end and I'm prayin' you'll operate on me so I can have me nuts cut off and make me sterile.

Me reasons are numerous.

After being married for seven years and having had 9 children, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are friggin' useless.

After getting married here in Ganderbye, I was advised by the priest to use the rhythm method. Despite trying the Tango and the Samba, me wife fell pregnant, and I ruptured meself doing the Cha-Cha. Apart from dat, where do ye find a band when ye get the urge at two o'clock in the mornin'?

Another doctor suggested the safe period. At the time, we wus livin' with de in-laws and we had to wait 3 weeks fer the safe period, when the 'ouse was empty. Needless to say dat didn't work, and da missus got pregnant again. Twins dis time.

A lady of several years' experience said if we made love while breast feeding we would be all right. Well, I finished up with clear skin, silky hair and was very healthy... but da wife, well she got pregnant again.

Another tale we 'eard was if da wife jumped up and down after intercourse dis would prevent pregnancy. She slipped a disk, stubbed 'er big toe, but she still got pregnant again. Jaaaaasus, 'nother set of twins. I asked the pharmacist about the condoms and he demonstrated them, so I bought a big box. Me wife fell pregnant again, which did not surprise me as I never did believe how stretching one of dem tings over yer index finger could ever stop da missus from getting knocked up yet again.

We tried the coil next but dat didn't work. It had a left-hand screw and me wife is definitely a right-hand screw.

The Dutch cap was next and seemed to be our answer, but the wife got severe headaches when the only size available was too tight across 'er forehead. ...Ye can see me problems right?

If I can't 'ave da operation I will 'ave to resort to oral sex, but lard jasssssus bye I can't believe dat talking bout it is any substitute fer the real ting.

Do ye??


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home


-- advertisements--

Preserving Old Time Radio - Click above to order your favourite shows today!

Buy this and other great posters from

Click above to buy this and other great posters from®


--end advertisements--


Chat rooms monitored. Blogs deleted. Websites blocked. Search engines
restricted. People imprisoned for simply posting and sharing information. The Internet is a new frontier in the struggle for human rights.
Governments \96 with the help of some of the biggest IT companies in the world \96 are cracking down on freedom of expression.
Amnesty International, with the support of The Observer UK newspaper, is launching a campaign to show that online or offline
the human voice and human rights are impossible to repress. Click Above to find out more.


- The Other Side of the Rainbow is a collection of Jokes, humor, GLBT news and views, Computer help, cartoons, Things about The Wizard of OZ, links to other Gay and 

Lesbian sites, and is your source for escaping from daily life.

If you believe this I have bridge to sell.. but seriously... never click on
these "warnings" as they can lead to getting spyware and other not so niceties
such as adware and browser hijackers, key loggers and more. (Of course you
CAN trust The
Wizard's Page!)

Saskatoon Shines!

Why the bear? Click on it!

Get the TRUTH! Visit 'OZ' Daily!

1,500,000 VISITORS TO 'OZ'!! Thanks to all 

my Wonderful Readers!

1.5 Million visitors to 'OZ'- Thanks to all my Wonderful Readers!

'OZ' was inspired by 'Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World'

by Israel 'IZ' Kamakawiwo'ole

(Born May 20, 1959 - Died June 26, 1997, at the age of 38)

Star Trek - Hidden Frontier Fansite - watch some episodes! "Live Long and Prosper!"

Cinosam - My Wiccan name

Cinosam - My Wiccan name

"AnkhIwiEmHotep" - "Life and Peace Be with you"

So, in a nutshell, here's what's going on:
All Wiccans are witches, but not all witches are Wiccans.
All Wiccans are Pagans, but not all Pagans are Wiccans.
Finally, some witches are Pagans, but some are not.
Clear? Cool ;P

Post comments here

Put a pushpin on the map! Click above. 'OZ' wants to know where you are!

Wizard License Plate

 Time Left For The Wizard On Earth :


"A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others."

© 2006 The Wizard of 'OZ'

Back to top

*unless otherwise noted, all images are © by their respective owners, and used for non-commercial purposes only.
Downloading these images from this website may be in contravention of copyright law.
*The Wizard of OZ and associated images are © Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc.