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Friday, December 15, 2017

A Long Time Ago

By Trent Deerhorn, Deerhorn Shamanic Services

“There is no such thing as ‘a long time ago’. There are only memories that mean something and memories that don’t.”
Sylvester Stallone – This Is Us

Isn’t it interesting how a memory can pop up and suddenly we are right back where we experienced that “thing” in the first place? Many studies on memory have shown that it is a bit elusive at best. Yes, we can memorise things. But when it comes to remembering details of events those details become cloudy with time, especially if they did not mean that much to us at the time of the event. I am reputed to have an excellent memory, to the point where at times I can actually quote dates, times, events, what people said, how they looked, what they wore and so on. But I have personally noticed that it works best when I can network it with other memories. So if I took the dog to the vet on Friday and then Saturday afternoon something happened and 2 years later I am asked about that event, I would also be remembering the dog at the vet in relation to the time factor of the event. From there I would go through the evening and into the morning of Saturday, what I was doing and who I was seeing and then get to Saturday afternoon’s event and recall with crystal clarity. This can all take a matter of a minute. It gets exhausting how people react to that at times. I think that they are freaked out by my saying things like, “And you were wearing that paisley blouse with red and aqua blue, your tourmaline earrings, an onyx pendant on a silver chain, red nail polish and that turquoise ring that your boyfriend gave you the week before…”

The thing is, if it did not matter to me I won’t necessarily recall the fine details, if I recall anything at all. It has to matter to me in some way. So if I have forgotten something, you can pretty much guage how important that thing actually was to me. One of my daughters is like that as well. She has a delightful habit of saying things like, “Ya well, that really didn’t mean anything to me so…whatever.” Sometimes our children can be so much like ourselves that we are proud and terrified simultaneously.

Sometimes we are haunted by things that happened a long time ago. When we don’t work on healing our experiences we will naturally be haunted by them. That is not to say that we have to forget them. On the contrary. If they are important we must remember them. However, that haunting of memories is our mind’s way of telling us that healing work is needing to get done. Perhaps the memory is of a traumatic event. Heal it. Perhaps it is of the loss of a loved one to death. Heal that as well. Healing it does not mean to magically snap your fingers and it is suddenly done. It can take a long time to heal. That is alright. We need not be in a race about it. In fact. much of post traumatic stress disorder will stay with us for years before we actually manage the perfect combination of healing modalities to assist us.

I remember when I was a child I heard my mom talk about a woman that we knew who woke up in the middle of the night screaming in pain. Then she dropped dead right there beside her husband. Turned out that she had an embolism in the middle of the night. Another acquaintance woke up to find that her husband had died while sleeping beside her…at the age of 35…from a heart attack. Now, when hearing about these types of events, the thing that went through my mind was, “God…I sure hope that I never have to wake up beside my partner to find them dead beside me…that would be CREEPY.” Years later that is pretty much what happened. Now, because this mattered to me I will likely never forget it. But the trauma of the event has, over the last 4 years, been continuously healing. It no longer is a memory that brings me stress or terror or deep soul sorrow. It is now a memory that is important but does not have the same emotional impact. The same can be said for many other experiences that I have had over the many years of my life. It is not that time heals anything really. It is that with time we have the energy to put the effort into doing the healing work. And yes, it can be a LOT of work. But if we try to avoid doing that healing work we will inevitably be haunted. If we never do that work we will be haunted till the day we die…and perhaps beyond.

Fortunately, the way memory works, we can also access the amazing and happy times of our lives with a simple memory. Things that bring a smile to our face or a chuckle from our bellies. The more important the memory is, the easier it is to access them at various times. Some even use the good memories to help get them through difficult moments. For example, when I was a kid I used to love building sand castles. To this day, when I find myself stressed over something, I will go into the memory of building sand castles on the beach. I feel myself going into relaxation and calm right away. I am also aware that, although I do enjoy driving, I do not like the way many other drivers put other people’s lives at risk on a daily basis. It was getting so that I would enjoy getting behind the wheel and by the time I arrived at the destination I was a tight ball of nerves. So I decided to use my body memory to conquer this. It has absolutely NO EFFECT on other drivers. It has profound effects on my well being. So whenever I reach a red light, instead of keeping my hands on the steering wheel, I drop my hands to my lap. This immediately places me into a calm space. Then it really doesn’t matter what happens along the way. From that place of calm I will deal with whatever I encounter along the way once that light turns green. While my hands are on my lap my breathing changes to slow and deep…naturally. It is not like I am forcing that. My mind clears and I am then able to proceed from a much better place within. The funny thing is that, in using this practice, even if I leave a bit late for my destination I usually arrive there early…without speeding or forcing anything along the way. I look forward to the red lights as a short break from the hustle and bustle of the traffic flow. Where most are likely angry at having to stop yet again, I look forward to it. And then when the green light comes I have already placed myself in the mental state of being very clear minded and respond to the traffic with ease.

Whether it is body memory or memory recall from the past, those memories have purpose. They can at times sustain us. They can direct us to where our healing needs to be focused. They can also serve to keep the memory of a loved one who has passed in our hearts forever. If it is important in any way, it will be there for us, bridging all time and space.

*View more stories like this one at Deerhorn Shamanic Services

Look at these three photos

Do not glance at the end until you have looked at the three photos! Pay close attention to each scene, Colgate has created a very ingenious advertising campaign to promote their dental floss. Observe the photo quietly on your own then scroll to the next.

Alright.......... now that you've had time to quietly observe the images......

* In the first photograph, you might have noticed that the woman has six fingers on her left hand
* In the second photograph, a phantom arm is floating behind the man
* and in the third photograph, the man has only one ear.

The campaign attained its purpose. It proved that food debris on your teeth draws more attention than any physical defect does.

How well did you do??

So now you know that no matter what physical "defect" you might feel self-conscious about, just stick a chunk of spinach between your front teeth and no one will notice anything else about you!

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Euphemistically Speaking

Whether you wish to assess your ability to replace an indelicate term with one that is inoffensive, or to brush up on the telling of the occasional polite lie, you may wish to avail yourself of the opportunity this humble quiz presents.

1. The tender hearted may use euphemisms in an attempt to courteously communicate that which is disagreeable. Your considerate and mild mannered companion is attempting to inform you that a dear friend of yours, having reached that inevitable hour, has shuffled off this mortal coil, crossing the river to reach his eternal reward. Since you seem perplexed, your companion is a bit more direct and informs you that your friend has "bought a pine condo".

What rude word describes the state of your dearly departed friend?

Hint: Four letters, beginning and ending in "d".

2. At times the use of an appropriate euphemism is mostly a matter of convention. Because euphemisms may evolve differently in different locations, at times one may have difficulty communicating an urgent physical need despite a shared language. Utilizing which of the following terms to request access to a toilet in an American restaurant is most likely to result in uncomfortable delays?


3. Linguists call the coining of a less offensive term for an offensive one "taboo deformation". However, not all alternate terms emphasize what is less distasteful. Which of the following would probably NOT be considered a more polite and genteel term for being drunk and hence not a euphemism for it?

In one's cups

4. With time and usage, a term that was adopted as a less disagreeable substitute may begin to take on the same connotations as the originally more distasteful term. This leads to the coining of a new term. The process may repeat itself resulting in the development of a series of expressions for the one that originally offended. Which of the following terms came last?


5. A euphemism may be intended to protect the speaker as well as (or even instead of) the hearer. This seems particularly true in matters of public relations. Which of the following is NOT a correct pairing of a euphemism with the item euphemized?

Jailhouse incident - prison riot
Friendly fire incident - mismanaged controlled burn
Collateral damage - civilian casualties
Sanitation workers labor action - garbage strike

6. Some have pointed out that in certain circumstances the word "euphemism" is itself a euphemism for another word that describes a common practice. What is the word for this practice?

hint: Three letters, starting with "L"

7. "Dysphemism" is an antonym for "euphemism". "Dysphemism" denotes the replacement of a more refined word with one that is coarser. Which of the following occupational dysphemisms is paired with the wrong occupation?

Quack - doctor
Pettifogger - politician
Bean counter - accountant
Grease monkey - mechanic

8. Some euphemisms depend on humor to remove the sting from the offensive term. Which of the following could NOT qualify as a lighthearted allusion to defective mental processing?

The wheel is spinning, but the hamster's dead
In reduced circumstances
Not firing on all cylinders
Knitting with only one needle

9. Some euphemisms may achieve humor without humor being the intent of the person coining the euphemism. In 1979, during the Three Mile Island nuclear reactor crisis, a reporter asked a power company spokesman what might happen if the hydrogen bubble inside the reactor came in contact with a spark. What did the company spokesman indicate the result might be?

A modest explosion
A spontaneous energetic disassembly (of the reactor)
An easily contained outburst
A theoretical scenario

10. Finally, I will give you an opportunity to make an educated guess regarding the phrase columnist John Leo chose as 'euphemism of the year' for the year ending in February 2004. Which of the following was it?

Mass presiders
Disposable mucus recovery systems
Wardrobe malfunction
Depopulate the bull calf operation

Click here, here or even here, for the answers

From The Emerald City

Ok, so I've received a number of emails from my loyal 'OZ' readers who had some posers for me, The Wizard of 'OZ'. I will attempt to address them:

Q.:What is your real name?
A: Oz's real name is Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs. Because the initials spell out the word pinhead, my name has been shortened further to Oz.

Q: Where do you live
A: The Emerald City, of course!

Q: Are you a real wizard?
A: The Wizard appears in a different forms, usually as a giant head, once or twice as a beautiful fairy, once as a ball of fire, and once as a horrible monster. Eventually, ends up that I, Oz, is actually none of these things, but rather an ordinary blogger from Saskatoon Saskatchewan, who has been using a lot of elaborate magic tricks, HTML code and props to make myself seem "great and powerful".

Q: Can you grant things using magic?
A: Nope, I can only show people what they already have... just show them how wonderful they are.

Finally, if you have further questions, go ahead and click below if you are adventurous:

Not sheep. Look again...

A Parable

A Parable
A Parable
A Parable
A Parable
A Parable
A Parable

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Dottown - a puzzle from MIT

Far off, in Fantasyland, there is a secluded town called Dottown. Every resident of Dottown has a colored dot upon his or her forehead. This dot is always either red or blue, and everyone in town knows this. In fact, this is proclaimed as a point of pride at the daily noon gathering of the entire populace.

Every day at noon, the entire town gathers together, and each person sees every other person and every other person's forehead dot. No one ever misses this gathering.

No one dies in Dottown for any reason, with one exception. If anyone knows the color of his or her own dot, that person will die that night. Everyone else will notice this at the gathering at noon the next day (and not before).

For fear of death, there are no mirrors in Dottown, and no one ever says anything about the dots, except for the formal proclamation at noon each day.

Everyone in town is extremely intelligent, so if it is possible to figure out the color of one's own dot, one will do so immediately. Unfortunately, there is no way to avoid this.

One day, after many years of peace in the town, a stranger arrives in Dottown. At the noon meeting on that day, the stranger announces to all, ``There is at least one person in this town with a red dot.'' All believe this mysterious stranger. The stranger then leaves town, without saying anything further.

What happens to Dottown?


This is a mathematical puzzle. That is, there is no trick buried in my narrative above. No one is colorblind, or any such thing.

Let's call the day of the pronouncement Day 0. So, what happens on Day 1, Day 2, and so forth? If you want to use variables, call the numeric population P, the number of persons with red dots R, and the number of persons with blue dots B. Thus, P = R + B.

I've never seen this puzzle in written form before, but I've heard it several times.

Good luck. Give yourself a chance to solve the puzzle before checking the hints and answers.



Puzzle for printing
Thanks for playing!

Climb ev'ry mountain and Reach!

Just something to give you a friendly push when life seems to be at an impasse...

click here

Amish Christmas Lights

Amish Christmas Lights

Messin' wit' yer mind, eh?

Guidance Kit

I have a Guidance Kit I purchased from Witch's Brew (or The Brew as we affectionately call it). What it does is help you to predict what is going to happen, what may be true or lies, and things about the past.

guidance Kit

It is a pendulum that swings around. You hold on to the pentacle and then ask a question. Completely give your mind over to it - that means give up control of the outcome, then let the pendulum go.

The pendulum is let go over the pentagram in the centre of the cloth.

It swings either deosil (clockwise) or widdershins (counter-clockwise)and will very quickly move in a back and forth movement swaying between, Yes or No, Maybe, Try Again, Will not answer or rephrase.

This is kind of like scrying - though much easier to use. Got to show this one to my non witch friends - they WILL be amazed! I was, and I was the one doing it!

Reminiscent of a Ouija Board, but no way to cheat! And infinitely more serious.


Tuesday, December 12, 2017

I wish I had known..

Click here.

Tribute to Steve Irwin

Tribute to Steve Irwin - Click here

Click above

How to choose your next boyfriend based on his footwear

Click here to read more
Click above to read how this works.

The Wizard at Bikini Bottom

Below are some pictures of me taken in Saskatoon, behind a skater shop. Who says grafitti can't be art! What makes these wonderful images sad is that they are hidden behind the building where few Saskatonians are likely to see them. I apologize for the quality as they were taken with my BlackBerry:

SpongeBob and The Wizard
SpongeBob, The Wizard and Mr. Krabs
Patrick Star and The Wizard
The Wizard and Squidward
The Wizard, Sandy and Planton

Monday, December 11, 2017

See No Spoilers

See No Spoilers

What engineers do when they are bored

Large size Rube Goldberg machine!

Melvin The Magical Mixed Media Machine from HeyHeydeHaas on Vimeo.


1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.

6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor

11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.


Considering only 120 episodes, that's friggin' amazing!!!

Hey Buddy... I wanna help ya!


It can buy a house

But not a home

It can buy a clock
But not time

It can buy you a position

But not respect

It can buy you a bed
But not sleep

It can buy you a book
But not knowledge

It can buy you medicine
But not health

It can't buy you blood
Or life

So you see money isn't everything

And it often causes pain and suffering

I tell you this because I am your friend

And as your friend I want to

Take away your pain and suffering!!


Send me all your money

And I will suffer for you!

Cash only please

Sunday, December 10, 2017

World's Easiest Quiz

(Passing requires 4 correct answers)

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What colour is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Burning question mark
All done? To check your answers click here.


Try moving your mouse near this Guy's head .....

Installing Love On The Human Computer

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart? Laughing

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you'll have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge Your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to ensure it's completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you.

Things I wish I had known...

click above