Monday, February 08, 2016

Top 13 Reasons to become a Witch

It's great to be a witch!

13. I live for persecution!

12. I'm a night person at heart.

11. We respect our elders...and alders, and willows and oaks.

10. I just love explaining that a pentagram is NOT evil.

9. We do more after midnight than most people do all day!

8. Being burned at the stake is a great way to roast marshmallows.

7. We can talk to Elvis (and he IS dead).

6. You live, you learn, you die, you forget. Then you comeback...

5. Double the deities, double the fun!

4. We get more holidays.

3. Brooms get great mileage.

2. We were here first!

1. BELTANE!!!

~ Unknown

The Ross Sisters - Solid Potato Salad - Very flexible ladies!!

Trivia!

Q: What do the words zany, unreal, puking, and bedazzled have in common?

Keep Calm and Play Trivia



A: They all first appeared in Shakespeare plays. “Zany” was used in Love's Labour's Lost, “unreal” showed up in Macbeth, “puking” was in As You Like It, and “bedazzled” debuted in The Taming of the Shrew.

Have Bucket List, Will Travel...

Q: The Shotover River in Queenstown, on New Zealand's South Island, is recognized as the birthplace of jet boating. What other adrenaline-pumping activity is considered to have begun in Queenstown?

a) scuba diving
b) bungee jumping
c) skydiving
d) BASE jumping

Queenstown's Kawarau Gorge Suspension Bridge


A:  It is b. Bungee jumping was popularized at Queenstown's Kawarau Gorge Suspension Bridge.

Sunday, February 07, 2016

I Am Gay

This is an open letter to my Father, my Mother, my Brother, my Sister, my Aunt, my Uncle, my Grandmother, my Grandfather, my Cousin and my friend.

I am writing to You today with a heavy heart. I do not how to say this, so I guess I will just blurt it out.

I AM GAY.

I am afraid to tell You who I am.

I'm The Pink Sheep Of The FamilyI could be any of the following:

I am the daughter You gave birth to, I am the one You nursed.
I am the son You taught how to play baseball, I am the one You took fishing.
I am the Granddaughter You baked cookies for, I am the one You taught to sew.
I am the Grandson You saved Your card collection for, I am the one who holds Your hand on a walk.
I am the Mother You hug every night, I am the one who needs Your love.
I am the Father who worries a lot; I am the one who needs Your acceptance.
I am the sister You talk about Your fears to, I am the one who is hoping You are listening.
I am the brother You wrestle with, I am the one who hopes You will protect me.
I am the cousin You played hide and seek with, I am the one who is afraid, and is hiding.
I am Your friend.

Please accept me for what I am, and that is a person - who happens to be gay.

Think about it!

Mathematically Speaking....

Mathimatically Speaking

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and


K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Strip Tease

Click here to watch him take it all off!


Click above to watch him take it all off!

Quotes that changed people for ever...

Your life doesn't get better by chance, it gets better by change. -- Jim Rohn
Last year, someone on Reddit asked other users to share something that someone said to them that forever changed the way they thought about things. Needless to say, their responses went a step further than "good advice." The quotes they shared tapped into some deeper human truths and filled readers with love, patience and motivation for the things we all face on a daily basis.

As you read through the following 20 quotes, we suggest taking a moment to think about each one and how it can be applied to your life. Some may be challenging, but it's important to challenge ourselves and grow on a daily basis. Has anyone ever said something to you that completely changed the way you think about things? If so, share that knowledge with those around you. After all, according to #20, we're all "surrounded by teachers."

1. "You know you're an adult when you can be right without proving the other person wrong."

2. "Next year, you'll wish you had started today."

3. My mom was dying. A friend told me "you have your whole life to freak out about this-- don't do it in front of her. " It really helped me to understand that my feelings are not always what's important. It IS possible to delay a freakout, and that skill has served me innumerable times.

4. I was 13 years old, trying to teach my 6 year old sister how to dive into a swimming pool from the side of the pool. We were at a big, public pool, and nearby there was a woman, about 75 years old, slowly swimming laps. Finally she swam over to us just when I was really putting the pressure on, trying to get my sister to try the dive, and my sister was shouting, "but I'm afraid!! I'm so afraid!!" The old woman looked at my sister, raised her fist defiantly in the air and said, "So be afraid! And then do it anyway!"

5. "You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm."

6. I was sitting in a bus once, and we came to the railroad tracks. There were some cars sitting in between us and the next red light, so if a train came, we'd be stuck until it had passed. That was always a couple of annoying minutes.

Then the light turned green, and the bus went across the train tracks without having to wait for a train. Pheew, crisis averted. Then, behind me, a mother said to her small child:

"That was too bad, we didn't get to see the train today."
That was the perfect way to frame that. Why not enjoy what you get?

7. "Do it to do it, not to have done it."

8. I'm the oldest of three kids. I'm older than my little brother by 2.5 years and my little sister by 9.5. When I was about fourteen or so, arguing with my dad in private about something I don't remember, he, being the second-oldest of eight kids, told me:

"Any decision you make in this household, you make three times. Once when you make it, once when your brother makes the same decision after watching you do it, and once when your sister makes the same decision after watching you and your brother do it. How you treat your brother will tell him how he can treat your sister; and how you treat your sister tells her how she will expect to be treated for the rest of her life, even as far as her future boyfriends."

That kinda shook me up and made me rethink my role as the oldest child; I started taking my responsibilities as the role model a lot more seriously after that.

9. "Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but, when we look back everything is different..." - C.S Lewis

10. "I learned to give... not because I have too much. But because I know how it feels to have nothing."

11. My old boss, the CEO of a small hospital, told me a story from back when he was a lab technician (for simplicity, let's call him Dan). Dan had forgotten to check some sort of mechanism on a piece of equipment he used, it malfunctioned and broke the equipment which ended up having around a $250,000 repair bill. The next day Dan's boss called him in to talk about it, and he was sure he was going to be fired. His boss asked him why he didn't do a proper check, made sure he understood what happened and sent him back to work. Dan asked him "Am I not getting fired? I was almost sure that's what this was about." His boss said "No way, I just spent $250,000 teaching you a lesson you'll never forget. Why would I fire you now?"

It seems silly, but that attitude always resonated with me. Don't make professional decisions based on emotional responses. Always know what your goal is when dealing with someone, and what exact problem you are trying to solve. Everyone makes mistakes, and yelling at them just makes them resent you and become defensive. Being calm and understanding will make people look up to you.

12. "If you're scared of doing it because you're afraid that people will judge you, trust me they won't even remember it after a year."

13. "A fool thinks himself to be a wise man, a wise man knows himself to be a fool."

14. I was having a bad day one time and being all "Why me?" when a coworker said "Why not you?". I had never thought about it before, but it was a good point. So I shut up and got over it.

15. "There's no point trying to track down your SO when they go out, or even asking them not to go, just because you're afraid of being cheated on. If they want to cheat on you, they will. They will miss a day of work, or lie about visiting their parents, or even fake a medical appointment. There's nothing you can do about that. The only thing you can do, is being a loving, caring person. This is the most effective way of obtaining someone’s love and trust."

16. "The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so try to make yourself as interesting as possible. "

17. When I was 38 I contemplated beginning a two year Associates Degree in Radiography. I was talking to a friend and had almost talked myself out of doing it. I said "I'm too old to start that. I'll be 40 when I get my degree." My friend said "If you don't do it, you'll still be 40, but without the degree." I'm nearly 60 now, and that degree has been the difference between making a decent living, and struggling to get by.

18. I met a person who was in a wheelchair. He related a story about how a person once asked if it was difficult to be confined to a wheelchair. He responded, "I'm not confined to my wheelchair - I am liberated by it. If it wasn't for my wheelchair, I would be bed-bound and never able to leave my room or house. "

19. "Education is expensive, but no education is more expensive." Definitely took school more seriously after someone said that to me.

20. "Everyone you meet knows something you don't." My grandfather told me this, and it's been a good reminder that I am surrounded by teachers.

Saturday, February 06, 2016

Bridge Over Troubled Water Or Something?

Click on the picture for a larger version - comment on what you see!

Bridge Over Troubled Water Or Something?

A Paradox of Our Time

The following is reported to be said by George Carlin, however that is incorrect. It was posted in May 1998 by Jeff Dickson, Called "A Paradox of Our Time"...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

When Welshmen Do When They Get Bored

Find 6 Words in the picture

Find 6 Words
Find 6 words, make a comment when you find them

Friday, February 05, 2016

Smoking in the rain....

2 old ladies!

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.

Saskatchewanians are good people!

Last summer, I was sitting on the patio, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.

Cheryl from next door saw us and was so upset that she came over and yelled at me,"You lazy prick! Sitting there drinking beer while your poor wife pushes that ancient lawn mower around! Get up off your fat arse and give her a break!"

I thought 'Shit women!' Took another swig from my stubby, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my sunnies, stared directly at this nosey cow and told her in no uncertain terms to sod off and mind her own business. I told her my wife had green fingers and that she really enjoyed gardening.

After a few days I felt really bad, so I went out and bought her a ride-on mower to show my sensitive side. I'm really proud of the deal I got and also very proud that my wife can now sit down while mowing the lawn. Yes guys, we should take good care of our wives... then maybe they'll take good care of us.

I've posted a picture of it below...

Riding Mower
I KNOW I'M TOO BLOODY SOFT WITH HER. SHE'LL PROBABLY WANT GEARS ON IT NEXT!!

You Go Girl!

Betty White is sick of your shit

LIFE

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