Parental Guidance Suggested

'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow

'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow

Send in computer questions by clicking on The Wizard at the top of 'OZ'. Posting is at 10AM and 2PM CST daily. 4 days of posts are on the main page. The archives have more. You can forward posts by clicking on the envelope at the bottom of the post - Enjoy your stay! ***If there is a copyright issue, please email me by clicking on The Wizard at the top right of the page and I will provide credit, change it to a link, or remove the post.***

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Follow the link and "Escape!"


This one will drive you nuts!!

The object of the game is to move the red block around without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls.

If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal.

It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes.

Give it a try!! Click here.

The Old's Maid Burglar


A story I'll tell of a burglar bold
Who started to rob a house;
He opened the window, and then crept in
As quiet as a mouse.
He looked around for a place to hide,
'Till the folks were all asleep,
Then said he, "With their money
I'll take a quiet sneak."
So under the bed the burglar crept;
He crept up close to the wall;
He didn't know it was an old maid's room
Or he wouldn't have had the gall.
He thought of the money that he would steal,
As under the bed he lay;
But at nine o'clock he saw a sight
That made his hair turn gray.
At nine o'clock the old maid came in;
"I am so tired," she said;
She thought that all was well that night
So she didn't look under the bed.
She took out her teeth and her big glass eye,
And the hair from off her head;
The burglar, he had forty fits
As he watched from under the bed.
From under the bed the burglar crept,
He was a total wreck;
The old maid wasn't asleep at all
And she grabbed him by the neck.
She didn't holler, or shout or call,
She was as cool as a clam;
She only said, "The Saints be praised,
At last I've got a man!"
From under the pillow a gun she drew,
And to the burglar she said,
"Young man, if you don't marry me,
I'll blow off the top of your head!"
She held him firmly by the neck,
He hadn't a chance to scoot;
He looked at the teeth and the big glass eye,
And said, "Madam, for Pete's sake, shoot!"

Dog's Pet Peeves About Humans!



1. When you push me away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.

2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.

3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A DOG !!

4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)

5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?

6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.

7. Yelling at me for rubbing my butt on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet....

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

10. Dog sweaters... Have you noticed the fur? Sheesh!

11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home!

12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?


dog luaghing

Saskatchewan Cruise Ship


Saskatchewan Cruise Ship

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Flying Luxury Hotel


The Moby

This is not a Blimp. It's a sort of flying Queen Mary 2 that could change the way you think about air travel. It's the Aeroscraft, and when it's completed, it will ferry pampered passengers across continents and oceans as they stroll leisurely about the one-acre cabin or relax in their well-appointed staterooms.

Unlike its dirigible ancestors, the Aeroscraft is not lighter than air. Its 14 million cubic feet of helium hoist only two thirds of the craft's weight. The rigid and surprisingly aerodynamic body—driven by huge rearward propellers—generates enough additional lift to keep the behemoth and its 400-ton payload aloft while cruising. During takeoff and landing, six turbofan jet engines push the ship up or ease its descent.

Moby This two-football-fields-long concept airship is the brainchild of Igor Pasternak, whose privately-funded California firm, Worldwide Aeros Corporation, is in the early stages of developing a prototype and expects to have one completed by 2010. Pasternak says several cruise ship companies have expressed interest in the project, and for good reason: The craft would have a range of several thousand miles and, with an estimated top speed of 174 mph, could traverse the continental U.S. in about 18 hours. During the flight, passengers would peer at national landmarks just 8,000 feet below or, if they weren't captivated by the view, the cavernous interior would easily accommodate such amenities as luxury staterooms, restaurants, even a casino.

To minimize noise, the aft-mounted propellers will be electric, powered by a renewable source such as hydrogen fuel cells. A sophisticated buoyancy-management system will serve the same purpose as trim on an airplane, allowing for precise adjustments in flight dynamics to compensate for outside conditions and passenger movement. The automated system will draw outside air into compartments throughout the ship and compress it to manage onboard weight.

The company envisions a cargo-carrying version that could deliver a store's worth of merchandise from a centralized distribution center straight to a Wal-Mart parking lot or, because the helium-filled craft will float, a year's worth of supplies to an offshore oil rig. "You can land on the snow, you can land on the water," Pasternak says. "It's a new vision of what can be done in the air."

Aeroscraft
Purpose: Long-range travel for passengers who are more concerned with the journey than the destination
Dimensions (feet): 165 h x 244 w x 647 l
Max Speed: 174 mph
Range: 6,000 miles
Capacity: 250 passengers

--more--

Keep It Off Your Cursor!


Japanese.... I provide no other hints!

Keep it Off Your Cursor


Click above

If Hamster Only Knew What Happened To Last Hamster


Hamster

The children begged for a hamster, and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it, they got one. They named it Danny. Two months later, when Mom found herself responsible for cleaning and feeding the creature, she located a prospective new home for it.

The children took the news of Danny's imminent departure quite well, though one of them remarked, "He's been around here a long time--we'll miss him."

"Yes," Mom replied, "But he's too much work for one person, and since I'm that one person, I say he goes."

Another child offered, "Well, maybe if he wouldn't eat so much and wouldn't be so messy, we could keep him."

But Mom was firm. "It's time to take Danny to his new home now," she insisted. "Go and get his cage."

With one voice and in tearful outrage the children shouted, "Danny? We thought you said Daddy!"

Flower Dogs - ( puppious flowerious)


Flower Dogs
Flower Dogs
Flower Dogs
Flower Dogs

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

'Bizarre Little Flash Animation'


David Firth has made a bizarre little Flash animation called The Latest Model. It makes a caustic point about fashion, violence, and peer pressure. I'm not entirely sure what that point is, but it's clearly caustic.

Warning: It may be considered violent

Click on the picture below:


'Bizarre Little Flash Animation'

Use your 'Back' button to return to 'OZ'

Naked Fireman NSFW


Click here.












LOL!

Who's your daddy?


A seminary professor was vacationing with his wife in Gatlinburg, TN. One morning, they were eating breakfast at a little restaurant, hoping to enjoy a quiet, family meal. While they were waiting for their food, they noticed a distinguished looking, white-haired man moving from table to table,visiting with the guests. The professor leaned over and whispered to his wife, "I hope he doesn't come over here." But sure enough, the man did come over to their table.

"Where are you folks from?" he asked in a friendly voice.
"Oklahoma," they answered.

"Great to have you here in Tennessee," the stranger said. "What do you do for a living?"

"I teach at a seminary," he replied.

"Oh, so you teach preachers how to preach, do you? Well!, I've got a really great story for you." And with that, the gentleman pulled up a chair and sat down at the table with the couple .

The professor groaned and thought to himself, "Great ... Just what I need ..another preacher story!"

The man started, "See that mountain over there? (pointing out the restaurant window). Not far from the base of that mountain, there was a boy born to an unwed mother. He had a hard time growing up, because every place he went, he was always asked the same question, 'Hey boy, Who's your daddy?' Whether he was at school, in the grocery store or drug store, people would ask the same question, 'Who's your daddy?'

He would hide at recess and lunchtime from other students. He would avoid going in to stores because that question hurt him so bad.

"When he was about 12 years old, a new preacher came to his church. He would always go in late and slip out early to avoid hearing the question, 'Who's your daddy?' But one day, the new preacher said the benediction so fast he got caught and had to walk out with the crowd. Just about the time he got to the back door, the new preacher, not knowing anything about him, put his hand on his shoulder and asked him, Son, who's your daddy?

The whole church got deathly quiet. He could feel every eye in the church looking at him. Now everyone would finally know the answer to the question, Who's your daddy?'

"This new preacher, though, sensed the situation around him and using discernment that only the Holy Spirit could give, said the following to that scared little boy ... "Wait a minute! I know who you are. I see the family resemblance now. You are a child of God. "

With that he patted the boy on his shoulder and said, " Boy, you've got a great inheritance. Go and claim it."

"With that, the boy smiled for the first time in a long time and walked out the door a changed person. He was never the same again. Whenever anybody asked him, 'Who's your Daddy?' he'd just tell them, 'I'm a Child of God.'"

The distinguished! gentleman got up from the table and said, "Isn't that a great story?"

The professor responded that it really was a great story!

As the man turned to leave, he said, "You know, if that new preacher hadn't told me that I was one of God's children, I probably never would have amounted to anything!" And he walked away.

The seminary professor and his wife were stunned. He called the waitress over & asked her, "Do you know who that man was who just left that was sitting at our table?"

The waitress grinned and said, "Of course. Everybody here knows him. That's Ben Hooper. He's the former governor of Tennessee!"

Looking in...


I was feeling a little nosey, so I thought I would look in on you and see if you are sitting at your computer...

Yup, there you are!

giraffe

Have a Great Day!

Monday, April 21, 2014

Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners


Haeeya!

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are cute!” The wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was now “cute.” She said, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”

Her husband replied, “The drugs are wearing off!”

HYUK!

The lawyer was cross-examining a witness.

“Isn’t it true, “he bellowed, “that you were I given $500.00 to throw this case?”

The witness did not answer. Instead, he just stared out the window as though he hadn’t

heard the question. The attorney repeated himself, again getting the same reaction - no response.

Finally, the judge spoke to the witness, “Please answer the question.”

“Oh,” said the startled witness, “I thought he was talking to you.”

HYUK!

During training exercises, the Lieutenant driving down a

muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud

with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.

"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the Lieutenant as he pulled

alongside.

"Nope," replied the Colonel, coming over and handing him

the keys, "Yours is."

HYUK!

A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.

She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?"

Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.'"

HYUK!

A man is incomplete until he is married… then he is finished.

HYUK!

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car, his father asked him three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home and I wanted to stay with you guys."

HYUK!

Eight men have been at a mental hospital for a period of time and are being tested to find out how they are progressing in order for them to leave the institution. The doctor in charge takes them all into a room and with a ball pen draws a door on the wall and asks each one of the patients to try and open the door for him as part of the test. Seven of them rushed out and attempted to open the door on the wall. The doctor was disappointed with the results but never the less call on the last one who was still sitting down and asked him why didn’t he stand up and try to open the door with the others. The eighth man replied: “because I was holding the key to the door”

HYUK!

Two elderly couples were enjoying a friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great."

"That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?"

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's it!"

He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"

HYUK!

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing? “The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize. “How?" asks the man, puzzled. “Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field."

HYUK!

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."

HYUK!

Selling at an auction was halted when the auctioneer announced, “Someone in the room has lost his wallet containing $2,000. He is offering a reward of $500.00 for its immediate return.” After a moment of silence, there was a call from the back of the room, “$550.00”

clapping

33 Unbelievable Places To Visit Before You Die


It’s hard to believe these places exist right on our planet. Here are 33 landmarks that look like paintings instead of photos!!

Salar De Uyuni, Bolivia

Salar De Uyuni, Bolivia


During the rainy season, the world’s largest salt flat becomes the world’s largest mirror. The Salar was born when several prehistoric lakes joined into one. The salt flat is so reflective, it’s used to calibrate satellites.

--31 more--

*Thanks, Gary!

O Captain, My Captain


Patrick Stewart often talks about his childhood and the torment his father put him and his mother through. However, how he answered this vulnerable and brave fan's question is one of the most eloquent, passionate responses about domestic violence I've ever seen. WARNING: At 2:40, he's going to break your heart a little.

Moving through tranquil waters


tranquil waters

 

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Star Trek - Hidden Frontier Fansite - watch some episodes! "Live Long and Prosper!"

Cinosam - My Wiccan name

Cinosam - My Wiccan name

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