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Monday, January 23, 2017

Hold the flashlight

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.

The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place ......... smack his ass again!

If you didn't laugh on this one, there's no help for you..

Fairy Fabulous!!!

Tinkerbell

She's the shapely sprite who has become a Disney icon second only to Mickey Mouse himself. And yet Miss Bell has largely been a woman of mystery. Where did she come from? Where are her fellow fairies? And the burning question: Was she REALLY modeled on Marilyn Monroe?

Fortunately, the Disney Insider has done some sleuthing and learned, more or less, everything you ever wanted to know about Tinker Bell.

Tink originally appeared in J.M. Barrie's play, "Peter Pan." Well, sort of - onstage, the pixie never appeared in person, but was traditionally represented by a beam of light. When Walt Disney decided to film "Peter Pan," how to represent Tinker Bell was one of the great dilemmas to be resolved. Ultimately, Disney and his animators decided to put the mischievous fairy on the screen - but to keep with tradition in having her "voice" be a tinkling bell that only Peter can understand.

Although Tinker Bell's vavoom figure and winsome blonde appearance have led generations of moviegoers to compare her to Marilyn Monroe, animator Marc Davis actually modeled her on actress Margaret Kerry. The Studio was quick to point out that although Tink might LOOK like Ms. Kerry, her capricious and sometimes downright mean personality had nothing to do with the actress!

"Peter Pan" was a hit, but it was Tinker Bell who went on to become a cultural touchstone. The pixie proved so popular that she became something of an ambassador for Disney. In the process, her image has become less jealous pint-sized femme fatale and more dispenser of pixie dust, although that touch of mischief still remains part of her appeal.

These days you can see Tink at the opening of "The Wonderful World of Disney," in the air at Disney theme park firework shows, and on every Disney DVD. She's prominently featured in the 50th Anniversary parade at Disneyland, "Walt Disney's Parade of Dreams," and Tinker Bell costumes and toys rival Disney Princess gear in popularity among little girls.

Although she's a beloved and instantly recognized character, there are many unanswered mysteries about Tinker Bell, stemming all the way back to "Peter Pan." Where did she come from? Who are her friends? Where does Tinker Bell go when she isn't hanging out with Peter Pan and the Lost Boys? These are questions that are never answered by Barrie, or by the film. But Tink is such a vivid presence that for more than 50 years, children have wondered about her.

These burning questions led the Disney team to develop a detailed story about Tinker Bell and the world from which she comes. Tinker Bell's world will be unveiled in a story first introduced in the novel "Fairy Dust and the Quest for the Egg" (available this month) by Gail Carson Levine of "Ella Enchanted" fame. The books feature illustrations by David Christiana. There's also a global Web site at DisneyFairies.com where we can meet the fairies and a get a glimpse of their world and pastimes.

"I was so glad when the people at Disney Publishing invited me to be part of the project," Ms. Levine commented. "To enter the world of Peter Pan and weave in a new landscape has been an enormous honor. I'll be thrilled if readers join the fairies' quest and go on clapping and believing and keeping Never Land young forever."

We learn that Tinker Bell is, in fact, a talented tinker - good at mending metal objects with her little hammer. This refers all the way back to a little joke in Barrie's Peter Pan - Peter claims that Tink is a common "tinker" sort of fairy. Tinkers, in Victorian England, were traveling tinsmiths.

By exploring Tink's world, the artists of Disney hope that they will give the enduring fairy new dimension - and a new place in the hearts of children (and adults) everywhere. If you believe in fairies, clap your hands for Tinker Bell!

10 Husbands

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin.

What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?

"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative;
he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in Software Services;
he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from Field Services;
he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in Telemarketing;
even though he knew he had the order, didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an Engineer;
he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from Finance and Administration;
he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in Marketing;
although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychiatrist;
all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist;
all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector;
all he ever did was ... God, I miss him!

"But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the husband, "but, why?"

"Duh; you're a LAWYER. This time I KNOW I'm gonna get screwed!"

Why Women Think Men Are Childish

Why Women Think Men Are Childish

Why Women Think Men Are Childish

Why Women Think Men Are Childish

Why Women Think Men Are Childish

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Dry Dog - Wet Dog

Dry Dog - Wet Dog
Am I right? Am I right?

A Tale, Founded On A Fact, Which Happened In January, 1779

by William Cowper

Where Humber pours his rich commercial stream,
There dwelt a wretch, who breathed but to blaspheme.
In subterraneous caves his life he led,
Black as the mine, in which he wrought for bread.
When on a day, emerging from the deep,
A Sabbath-day, (such Sabbaths thousands keep!)
The wages of his weekly toil he bore
To buy a cock -- whose blood might win him more;
As if the noblest of the feathered kind
Were but for battle and for death designed;
As if the consecrated hours were meant
For sport, to minds on cruelty intent.
It changed, (such chances Providence obey,)
He met a fellow-labourer on the way,
Whose heart the same desires had once inflamed,
But now the savage temper was reclaimed.
Persuasion on his lips had taken place;
For all plead well who plead the cause of grace.
His iron-heart with Scripture he assailed,
Wooed him to hear a sermon, and prevailed.
His faithful bow the mighty preacher drew,
Swift as the lightning-glimpse the arrow flew.
He wept; he trembled; cast his eyes around,
To find a worse than he; but none he found.
He felt his sins, and wondered he should feel.
Grace made the wound, and grace alone could heal.
Now farewell oaths, and blasphemies, and lies!
He quits the sinner's for the martyr's prize.
That holy day was washed with many a tear,
Gilded with hope, yet shaded too by fear.
The next his swarthy brethren of the mine
Learned by his altered speech, the change divine,
Laughed when they should have wept, and swore the day
Was nigh when he would swear as fast as they.
'No,' said the penitent: 'such words shall share
This breath no more; devoted now to prayer.
Oh! if thou seest, (thine eye the future sees,)
That I shall yet again blaspheme, like these,
Now strike me to the ground, on which I kneel,
Ere yet this heart relapses into steel;
Now take me to that heaven I once defied,
Thy presence, thy embrace!' -- He spoke, and died!

Finally The Wizard of 'OZ' has a domain!

First, I want to let you know that 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow is NOT changing. It will remain as othersiderainbow.blogspot.ca

WWW

The domain is as follows:
www.othersideoz.ca

I will eventually put my resumes etc on that page, but I will be moving my many hundreds of web pages over to that over the next few months. I write web pages that jump from my main blog, 'OZ'. It is those pages I am updating. If you encounter a broken link in the main time, please let me know where the jump is (where you are before you clicked on the link), in the contact the wizard. Easiest way would be to put  a comment on the page linking to the bad page.

Thanks for Your Help,

The Wizard

January

Terry and Norma

from MedicAlert.ca
Terry and Norma, married for 42 years, live in Brantford, a mid-sized city about an hour and a half from Toronto, Ontario.

Terry and Norma, married for 42 years, live in Brantford, a mid-sized city about an hour and a half from Toronto, Ontario.

When Norma was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 2011, Terry became his wife's sole caregiver. It's common for caregivers to feel an enormous sense of loss and grief as a loved one ‘slips away', and Terry was no different.

In mid-November of last year, Norma accompanied Terry, a colon cancer survivor, when he went to the hospital for his annual checkup.

While looking for change to pay the parking machine, Terry took his eyes off his wife for a few seconds. When he looked up, Norma was gone.

Panic. Fear. Helplessness.

What followed was a harrowing experience to which almost every caregiver can relate.

Terry rushed outside to look for Norma, and then ran back into the hospital. No sign of her anywhere. Increasingly desperate, he got into his car and drove around the neighbourhood.

"I couldn't find her anywhere. I was panic-stricken. I almost had a heart attack."

He went back to the hospital, where nurses attempted to track her down. He contacted hospital security, who checked video footage, with no luck.

More than an hour after his ordeal began, the police were called in the hopes that they might have found her. To Terry's great relief, the local police did in fact have his beloved wife.

The story behind Norma's disappearance was pieced together shortly after husband and wife were joyfully reunited.

A Good Samaritan comes to Norma's rescue, with a little help from MedicAlert.

Rebecca, an occupational therapist at the Brantford hospital, was driving home after work. She saw Norma disoriented and wandering on a busy street. She approached Norma who, in addition to having Alzheimer's, is unable to communicate due to a condition called aphasia.

Fortunately, Rebecca didn't need Norma to speak.

She saw the distinctive MedicAlert® Safely Home® bracelet on Norma's wrist, with the words MedicAlert clearly visible on the front of the ID. Using the information on the back of the ID, Rebecca immediately called the MedicAlert 24/7 Emergency Hotline, and then the police. In the time that Norma disappeared, she had wandered some 12 blocks away from the hospital when she was discovered by Rebecca.

"It's a scary picture. Norma was wandering on a busy street. People drove by her, and didn't stop. Thankfully my neighbour was reached by MedicAlert and went and picked Norma up. Fortunately, nothing happened to her", says Terry.

We later learned that both Rebecca's grandparents had dementia and she's trained on how to approach people with dementia from her job. Rebecca has shared her experience on her social network and some responded that they never thought to check the bracelet. Not only Rebecca helped Norma to reunite with Terry, she has also helped to spread the word about the importance of having MedicAlert medical IDs!

Terry applauds the MedicAlert® Safely Home® Program for its commitment to those suffering from Alzheimer's or other cognitive diseases.

"My daughter recommended getting MedicAlert when her mom was first diagnosed. But you can't fully appreciate the service until something like this happens. Why wait for an emergency to take action?

Consider the person you care about and love. But think about your own peace of mind, as well." Terry says.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Becoming the Devil They Fear

The following auto-biographical novel was written by a friend of mine, Ryan Willey, of Saskatoon, SK Canada. It is also a book of shadows including spells, magical correspondence tables, rituals, prayers, etc.

This is the final excerpt from Ryan's book. I will post a link on 'OZ' when I get it for those of you interested in purchasing his book.

Saskatchewan author, Ryan Wiley
Saskatchewan author, Ryan Willey
Becoming the Devil They Fear, by Ryan Willey

Outgrowing Christianity (1 excerpt)

My role as the Co-chair of the Saskatoon branch of Integrity caused me to become fairly involved with the Anglican Church.  It was to the point where the lesbian youth minister I mentioned, who was ordained as a Priest, wanted me to start ministry and theology courses.  I thought that I may have felt a calling to do so because it seemed that’s where my life was headed.

I had met with the Anglican Archdeacon of Saskatoon and had also discussed courses with a professor in the seminary.  It was agreed that I become more involved with an Anglican Church and I naturally followed where the lesbian priest served.

As I became more involved in the church, however, my mind was in a state of what I call “religious overload”.  I began taking the religion too seriously and started to conform to how other people acted in the church.  When I realized how much this church relied on money rather than faith, it was the final straw and I stopped going.

During the time period in which I became involved with the Anglican Church and shortly after the protest, I was contacted by a former Pastor who desperately wanted to speak with me.  A member of Integrity forwarded his phone number to me while asking me to be careful because we knew nothing about this man besides that he was probably gay.

I called him and he mentioned that he didn’t wish to reveal his identity because he was a very well-known individual within the Christian community.

Unfortunately, this is the last excerpt of his book.

You can purchase the book Becoming the Devil They Fear from McNally Robinson. They ship books as well. I will post the details when the book is ready

The Weirdest Video on YouTube - Hateful Love

Cows with guns - Still The Wizard's favourite

Cows With Guns. Click here to watch.
"Cows With Guns "Click above

Did The Earth Move For You, Darling?

Did The Earth Move For You, Darling?

Friday, January 20, 2017

My Money Is On The Cat...

Moose and Fluffy

Becoming the Devil They Fear

The following auto-biographical novel was written by a friend of mine, Ryan Willey, of Saskatoon, SK Canada. It is also a book of shadows including spells, magical correspondence tables, rituals, prayers, etc.

I will post some excerpts over several days.

Saskatchewan author, Ryan Wiley
Saskatchewan author, Ryan Willey
Becoming the Devil They Fear, by Ryan Willey

Religious Manipulation in Regards to Homosexuality (1 excerpt)

The Christian sharing circle was told that there would be a talk in a Roman Catholic Church which apparently was going to be something positive towards gay and lesbian people.  It sounded appealing to us and we attended.

We met in a room with couches and sat around in a circle for this unique gathering.  We were left in the dark that there was a man who would be sharing his story and he was very involved in “Courage”, a Roman Catholic support group which promoted the practice of disowning homosexual desires.
He touched on some sexual abuse which happened to him as a child and began talking about “wisdom” that only the Roman Catholic Church obtained.  Thus stating that as Roman Catholic people they were to abide by their catechism which states:

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,141 tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."142 They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfil God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

Obviously this theory on homosexuality is outdated and inaccurate.  For example when it says that tradition has always viewed homosexuality as disordered, it only pertains to the culture in which this was written.  There were Pagan cultures in which members would celebrate same-sex relationships and even went as far as to ceremonially officiate their relationships.  To say that homosexuality has always been viewed as “disordered” is nothing but a fabrication and surely we can’t take what the catechism says as a science or “God breathed” for that matter.

We called him out on what he was saying.  Some of the people in our group were in college to become ministers and therefore had a few facts to bring up which contradicted what the catechism says.  I, however, did not care much about what the catechism says because it has been modified before in regards to divorce...except they do not call it divorce, they call it an “annulment” which apparently isn’t divorce to them.  The difference to them is that a divorce is a civil proceeding whereby money and property are divided up, legal rights are established, and child visitation schedules are established.  A Catholic annulment is when a husband and wife simply decide to split up. So let me get this straight... because of money and legal rights an annulment is not a sin?  That doesn’t sound very “righteous” if you ask me.

I mentioned that there was no point in following the catechism word for word since the church always comes to some sort of change after so many years and the catechism gets revised.  It’s happened before and it surely will happen again.  There is hope for Roman Catholic family and friends after all.

This event ended with total disagreement between our group and this fellow telling his story and promoting disowning one’s same-sex desires.  There was nothing more to be said as he closed the talk and some of the members of the Christian Sharing Circle were very upset.  Those negative echoes hit a very personal note with us who embrace intimate love with the same sex.  We were always going to hear them from people outside of our group, and this little event only prepared us for another event which was similar but much more public.

Stay tuned tomorrow for another excerpt of his book.

You can purchase the book Becoming the Devil They Fear from McNally Robinson. They ship books as well. I will post the details when the book is ready

RULES OF THE AIR

airplane circling the earth

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot starts sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No-one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you and a tenth of a second ago.

25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old bold pilots.

NEVER Trust a stranger taking your picture...

NEVER Trust a stranger taking your picture....
NEVER Trust a stranger taking your picture....
NEVER Trust a stranger taking your picture....
NEVER Trust a stranger taking your picture....