Monday, April 27, 2015

So God Made A Gay Man (from

Cogito ergo sum



















*Thanks, Gary

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Has anybody seen this rooster?

Creator of the cronut set to open towering bakery in Tokyo


In this June 3, 2013 file photo, chef Dominique Ansel makes Cronuts, a croissant-donut hybrid, at the Dominique Ansel Bakery in New York. (Richard Drew / AP Photo)
In this June 3, 2013 file photo,
chef Dominique Ansel makes Cronuts, a croissant-donut hybrid,
at the Dominique Ansel Bakery in New York. (Richard Drew / AP Photo)
The French chef, who has been delighting New Yorkers with his cronuts since 2013, will open his first foreign outpost in the land of the rising sun. On June 20, a futuristic stand-alone tower in the business and fashion district of Shibuya will be dedicated exclusively to the bakery and all of the French chef's latest creations.

Dominique Ansel announced last September that he intended to bring a bit of New York and Paris to Tokyo. It'll be mission accomplished on June 20 with the opening of his latest outpost, a next generation bakery to transport the pastry wizard's confections into the future.

According to Line, the Japanese design studio Ansel trusted to bring this project to life, the launch zone will be a stand-alone three-story tower, a rare find in Tokyo where many retail spaces are located in enormous shopping malls.

A tower of delicacies

The ground floor, dedicated to retail, will be decorated in a design inspired by New York City and Paris subway stations. There, connoisseurs will be able to revel in Dominique Ansel's creations, including the famous cronut, a doughnut and croissant hybrid that orchestrates a delightful dance of flavors including lemon, raspberry and coconut.

At the rear of the first floor will be seating space beneath a custom work of art depicting a combination of the NYC subway and Paris metro lines. Instead of actual stops on the lines, though, customers will notice on one the names of the chefs that inspired Ansel, on another the various names of cronuts past, and on another some expressions and sayings from the chef's kitchens.

On the second floor is a café with table service where waiters will offer a menu different from the one downstairs. The menu's emphasis will be on eggs, in part because chef Ansel has been so impressed with the quality of the eggs in Japan.

The most curious will venture up to the third floor, where they will have the opportunity to see all of Ansel's tasty treats being prepared behind glass walls. And based on the fervor of the Japanese for the work of Pierre Hermé and the chocolates of Pierre Marcolini, you can expect that third floor to be crawling with visitors at all times.

This Japanese outpost will join the French pastry chef's growing network, which already includes the first store in New York's Soho and a second one opening not far away in the West Village at the end of the month.

Wise Words

Be Wise
Be Wise!Career Skills - Resume Tip

Employers make snap judgments when glancing at your resume. If they see unrelated job titles or skills the likelihood is very high that they will make an immediate assumption that you are not qualified for the job you want. Adding to this problem is the fact that employers don't have the time to read through each of your job descriptions to determine if you have the skills they need. You Must Do That For Them!

Be Wise!Love Quotes - Blessed

Be blessed that you have someone in your life that can hold you when your down, catch you when you fall, and be there for you when you need support the most. Be blessed that you are loved. I'm sure their blessed to have found you.

Be Wise!Words of Knowledge - Self-Esteem

"To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are."

- Kurt Cobain

Be Wise!Self-Improvement - Icebergs

An iceberg is a good analogy of our character and personality. The tip of the iceberg is what is seen first by other people; our personality. The part that lies underneath the water is our character, which lays unseen and hidden. Our personality is our image, techniques and skills that influence our outward success, but our true success will come from the goodness of our character that lies beneath the surface.

Be Wise!Famous Quote - True patriotism

"True patriotism hates injustice in its own land more than anywhere else."

- Clarence Darrow

Be Wise!Self-Improvement - Hard Time!

If you are not having a hard time, you are not developing you character.

Be Wise!One-Liners - Disappearing act

Love comes and goes in the same way, suddenly....

Be Wise!Health - Sleep Apnea

Chronic Sleep Apnea is a condition in which one actually quits breathing for short episodes during sleep. The condition is easily diagnosed by doctors trained in sleep disorders, by simply going to a sleep clinic. Some signs and symptoms include; loud snoring with moments of complete silence; a "snorting" sound with abrupt wakening; feeling exhausted even after you have slept for several hours; lack of concentration; and even falling asleep during the day while driving or on the job. This condition can be life threatening and is treatable.

Be Wise!"What a ride!"

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "WOW, What a ride!!!"

- James Fineous McBride

Be Wise!Famous Quote - Intelligence

“If I had 6 hours to cut down a tree I would spend 4 hours sharpening the axe.”

- Abraham Lincoln -

Be Wise!Fitness - Stretching

Stretching is the most overlooked, but the most important factor of exercising. Stretching helps prevent muscle pulls and tears. Run or walk on a treadmill, or ride a stationary bike to warm up your muscles before stretching. Then, stretch all the basic muscle groups, including arms, buttocks, abs, neck, shoulders, legs, hips, and back. Hold each stretch for at least 30 seconds with a soft amount of tension. Do not bounce in a stretch! Be sure to stretch out again as part of your cool-down.

Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners

Would You Remarry?
An elderly couple was in bed one night and the woman woke up from a bad dream. She was scared and panicking.

Her husband awoke and turned the light on to calm her. He asked what was wrong.

She said "I had a dream that I died and you got remarried." She asked him, "If I died tomorrow, would you get remarried?"

He said "Sure, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life lonely."

Then she asked, "Well would you two live in this house?"

He replied "Sure, we just got finished paying off our mortgage."

She asked again, angry now, "Well would she sleep in this bed?"

He snickered and said "Yes, of course, this bed is brand new and expensive, there's no reason to rid of it."

She asked irately, "Well would she use my golf clubs?!"

He replied with a straight, serious face, "No. She's left handed."
Texan Engineer
A very loud Texan Engineer was visiting Australia, and talking big about all of the large civil works in the USA that he was involved in. To be polite his Australian counterpart took him on a tour of some of Sydney's larger constructions.

First he took him to Gladesville Bridge. The Texan exclaimed, "What's that!" In reply the Australian said, "That's the Gladesville Bridge".

"Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build?" The Australian replied, "About 5 years with 1000 men."

The Texan replied, "Well in Texas we would've done it in 2 years with 500 men."

Next they went to the Sydney Opera House. "What's that" said the Texan. "That's the Sydney Opera House" was the reply.

"Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build?" The Australian replied, "About 10 years with 200 men."

The Texan replied "Well in Texas we would've done it in 4 years with 200 men."

By this stage the Australian was a little put out by the Texan's attitude so he decided to get some revenge, they walked around the Sydney Opera House and as they did the Sydney Harbor Bridge came into view.

Immediately the Texan exclaimed, "Wow! What's that?"

The Australian Engineer replied, "I don't know, it wasn't there yesterday."
All right, all right, I'm dying to know
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a very strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, The same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and again fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?"

The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles, when you find these numbers, you will become a monk."

The man sets about his task. Some 54 years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery.

He says, "I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth."

The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound."

The monks lead the man to a wooden door where the head monk says, "The sound is right behind that door." The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.

He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?" The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.

The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.

Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire, And so it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."

The man is relieved to know that he has finally reached to the end .

He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

But he can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.
Don't Worry Ma'am
A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her hard glances and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in hurry and not a happy camper about the slowness of the line.

When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to get out of here and home before Christmas!"

"Don't worry, ma'am," replied the clerk. "With a good tail wind and that brand new broom you have there, you'll be home in no time."

Q and A
Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bamboo.

Q: What's a haunted chicken?
A: Poultry-geist.

Q: Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
A: Because he was in need of a light snack.

Q: Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?
A: Have you ever tried to iron a monster?

Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A: Boo boos.

Q: Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.

Q: Why do mummies make excellent spies?
A: They're good at keeping things under wraps.
It's My Birthday Today
A woman is in the bar of a cruise ship and she asks the bartender for a scotch and two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink, she says, "It's my birthday today, and I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday I'll buy you a drink; in fact, I'll take care of this one for you."

As the women finishes her drink the woman to her right says, "I guess I should buy you a drink."

The old woman says, "All right. Bartender, I want a scotch and two drops of water."

"All right," says the bartender. As she finishes her drink, the man to her right says, "Since I'm the only one around you that hasn't bought you a drink, I guess I might as well buy you one."

The old woman says, "All right. Bartender I want a scotch and two drops of water."

"Coming right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink he says,

"Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the scotch and only two drops of water?"

The old woman replies, "Sonny, you learn that when you're my age, you can hold your liquor but you sure can't hold your water."

Honor Thy Father
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy answered: "Thou shall not kill."

Now what happened?
Hearing a scream from the playroom, the mother rushed in and found her infant daughter pulling the hair of her four-year-old bother. After separating them, the mother said to her son, "Don't be upset with your sister, honey. She didn't know she was hurting you."

No sooner had the mother returned to he chores than she heard more screaming. This time she rushed in and found the baby crying. "Now what happened?" she asked.

"Nothing," said the boy, "except that now she knows."
Both Ears Bandaged
One day an employee came in to work with both of his ears bandaged.

When his boss asked him what happened, he explained:

"Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!"

"Well," the boss said, "that explains one ear, but what about the other?"

"They called back!"
Do a Simple Test
While getting a checkup, a man tells his doctor that he thinks his wife is losing her hearing.

The doctor says, "You should do a simple test. Stand about 15 feet behind your wife and say 'honey?’ Move 3 feet closer and do it again. Keep moving 3 feet closer until she finally responds. Remember how close you were when she gives you an answer. That will help me know how bad her hearing loss is."

About a month later the same guy is at the doctor again and the doctor asks, "Well, did you do that experiment with your wife's hearing?”

The man says "yes". "How close did you get before she answered?"

"Well, by the time I got about 3 feet away she just turned around and said "For the FIFTH TIME... WHAT???"
Fumbling With His Keys
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations.

At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.

Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone else left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test.

The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.

The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy.”
Secret For a Long Happy Life
Secret For a Long Happy Life
Why is the bride dressed in white?
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explained. "And today is the happiest day in her life."

The child thought about this for a moment. "So why is the groom wearing black?"

Saturday, April 25, 2015

The Wiz's Quiz! Uniquely strange and funny quotes

Mark Twain quote
Who said these Uniquely strange and funny quotes

Who said, "Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa?"

Ebeneezer Scrooge
Paris Hilton
Bart Simpson
Donald Trump

2. Whose gravestone has the quote "I told you I was ill" engraved on it?

Harry Secombe
Spike Milligan
Peter Sellers
Elizabeth "The Queen Mother"

3. Who said "People who don't think probably don't have brains; rather, they have grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake"?

Albert Einstein
Ozzy Osbourne
Margaret Thatcher
Winnie the Pooh

4. "If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?" Who said this?

Jimmy Durante
Jerry Springer
Steve Martin
Steven Wright

5. Who said, "Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical"?

Babe Ruth
Ty Cobb
Yogi Berra
Tommy Lasorda

6. Who is this attributed to: "Do you still throw spears at each other?"

Prince Charles
Princess Anne
Queen Elizabeth II
Prince Philip

7. Which American writer and humorist said "The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not"?

Mark Twain
Erma Bombeck
Will Rogers

8. "Make crime pay. Become a lawyer." Who said this?

Hillary Clinton
Oscar Wilde
Will Rogers
Dan Castellaneta

9. "If my critics saw me walking over the Thames, they would say I couldn't swim." Who said this?

Mother Theresa
Joan of Arc
Doris Day
Margaret Thatcher

10. Who said, "I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam. I looked into the soul of the boy next to me"?

Bill Murray
Steve Martin
Woody Allen
Dean Martin

answers below

1. Bart Simpson
Bart is one of the major characters in the cartoon series "The Simpsons", a perennially funny show that pokes light-hearted fun at all the foibles of the human condition - but one that almost always finishes up with a lesson to be learned by one of the characters. It's an excellent tool for getting messages across by using the gift of laughter.
2. Spike Milligan
Born Terence Alan Patrick Sean Milligan, Spike was an Irish comedian, actor, and writer who is most known perhaps for his work in "The Goon Show" which brought laughter to millions. Spike made it very clear in his will this inscription was what he wanted on his gravestone and his wish was carried out.

3. Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh was created by author A. A. Milne. The first book was published in 1926 and included characters such as Tigger, Kanga, Owl, Eeyore and Piglet. Winnie the Pooh also said "I am a bear of very little brain, and long words bother me".
4. Steven Wright
Steven Wright is an American stand up comic. He has been nominated for a Grammy Award for Best Comedy Album. In the field of acting, in which he also dabbles, he has won an Oscar, along with fellow producer Dean Parisot, for their film "The Appointments of Dennis Jennings" in which he also starred. In 2008, he was inducted into the Comedy Hall of Fame in Boston.

5. Yogi Berra
Over Yogi Berra's career in Major League baseball, he won three MVP awards and a record ten World Series championships while a member of the New York Yankees.
6. Prince Philip
Prince Philip, the husband of Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom, has long been known for making gaffes, particularly on foreign trips. He made this comment to a successful Aboriginal businessman in 2002 when visiting an Aboriginal cultural site in Australia.
7. Mark Twain
Twain's family moved to Hannibal, Missouri, a Mississippi River town, when he was four years old. At age 22 he trained to become a steamboat pilot and convinced his brother Henry to work with him. In 1858 Henry was killed in a steamboat explosion. A month earlier Twain had experienced a dream in which he saw details of his brother's death. He felt responsible for Henry's death for the rest of his life.

8. Will Rogers
Will Rogers was a comedian, film actor in both the silent movies and the talkies, newspaper columnist, and a performer in vaudeville who lived from 1879-1935. Rogers was also of Cherokee descent and said of that, "My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower - but they met the boat." Sadly, this very witty and talented man, universally loved, died in a plane crash.
9. Margaret Thatcher
Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1979 to 1990. In a political world hitherto dominated for the most part by men, the Iron Lady well and truly made her mark. She also said, "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are - you aren't."
10. Woody Allen
Metaphysics deals with philosophy and thinking external to, and higher than, the everyday reality of mankind. Woody Allen, comic genius, is a very talented writer, comedian, director, actor and musician. The movie most readily associated with his name is "Annie Hall" which he directed and co-wrote with Marshall Brickman. It won four Academy Awards.

The Wiz's Quiz! You're so vein...

You're so vein
For the purposes of this quiz, you are a vein. These questions will show how much you know about yourself, your structure and your job. Have fun - it won't be in "vein"!

1. As a vein, you are a special blood vessel. You have an important job to do. What sort of blood do most veins carry?

oxygenated blood/to the heart
oxygenated blood/away from the heart
deoxygenated blood/away from the heart
deoxygenated blood/to the heart

2. Only two veins carry blood which has a different oxygen concentration than the other veins. Which of these veins are the 'nonconformists'?

the pulmonary and umbilical veins
the aorta and the basilic vein
the cephalic vein and the jugular vein
the big vein and the little vein

3. As a vein, you are circulating (get it?) at a party, and some flirt walks up to you and says, "show me your tunica intima, baby!" What does he want you to show him?

The veins that carry blood from the private parts
The innermost of your three layers
The opening of the vein
The top layer of the vein

4. You are an average-sized vein, and that's OK. You wouldn't want to be one of those conceited bigger veins. And you definitely wouldn't want to be one of the two largest veins in the body. Which two veins am I talking about?

the anterior and posterior radius
the superior and inferior vena cava
the right and left carotid veins
the aorta and the aneurysm

5. How do you and the other veins (especially the ones in the legs and feet) get the blood to flow back to the heart?

The capillaries actually take the blood back to the heart
There are valves in the veins
One vein attaches to several other veins in order to share the job
The veins don't do anything. The blood goes upward by itself

6. You are a vein, and someone just called you superficial! You were upset at first, but then you remembered that "superficial" is a specific type of vein. What is a superficial vein?

A very fragile vein
A vein in the head or neck
A vein in the front of the body
A vein that's near the surface of the body

7. This may seem like an impertinent question, but - speaking as a vein: what color are you?

I am red
I am green
I am translucent
I am blue

8. You are a deep vein, which means you are located deep inside your body's calf muscle. When you woke up this morning, you realized you are blocked by a clot. This is a big problem. What problem does your human have?

DVT - (deep vein thrombosis)
Deepening Disease
Eructation Syndrome

9. If your human's doctor wanted to take blood out of you, (or any of your fellow veins) in order to get information about the health of your body, what hospital staff person would be likely to get your blood?

A pharyngologist
A physiatrist
A phlebotomist
A phrenologist

10. You are a smart vein, and you paid attention in Vein School. So you know the name of the specific chamber of the heart where your deoxygenated blood will eventually arrive. Which part is it?

The left ventricle
The Purkinje fibers
The aorta
The right atrium

1. deoxygenated blood/to the heart
The body uses oxygenated blood to help the organs operate. When the organs use the oxygen, the blood is sent back to get more oxygen - and the cycle begins again. The veins carry deoxygenated blood to the heart, to be replenished.

2. the pulmonary and umbilical veins
The pulmonary vein gets oxygenated blood from the lungs, and brings it to the left atrium. The umbilical vein takes oxygenated blood from the mother's placenta and brings it to a growing baby.

3. The innermost of your three layers
The outer layer of a vein is the tunica adventitia. It is made of connective tissue. The middle layer is the tunica media, and it is made of smooth muscle. The tunica intima is a lining of endothelial cells.

4. the superior and inferior vena cava
Vena cava means "hollow veins" in Latin. The superior vena cava brings blood from the top half of the body to the right atrium of the heart. The inferior vena cava brings blood from the lower half.

5. There are valves in the veins
The valves not only push the veins up toward the heart, but when they close they prevent the blood from flowing back downward.

6. A vein that's near the surface of the body
The superficial veins don't have corresponding arteries. The deep veins are deep inside the body and are connected to arteries by a network of capillaries. The superficial veins are connected to the deep veins by communicating (or perforator) veins.

7. I am translucent
The color seen in a vein is the color of the blood inside it. That means deoxygenated blood is usually dark red, but if enough fatty tissue covers the vein, the blood appears to be blue.

8. DVT - (deep vein thrombosis)
DVT is a very serious condition. It can lead to a pulmonary embolism (a clot that goes to, and lodges in the lung. It could also lead to chronic venous insufficiency (a condition that means the veins are just not strong enough to do a complete job of returning the blood to the lungs).

9. A phlebotomist Although the training for a phlebotomist is relatively short, it is a very valuable part of the health care team. Nurses, doctors and other members of the health care team can draw blood, but the phlebotomist is specifically trained for that task.

10. The right atrium
The heart has four main chambers: the right and left atria, and the right and left ventricles. The deoxygenated blood arrives in the right atrium, into the right ventricle and then up to the lungs to get oxygen. The newly oxygenated blood goes into the left atrium, and into the left ventricle. It is then pumped out of the heart and out into the circulatory system.