Wednesday, May 04, 2016

Sylvester catches Tweety!

Watch this until Sylvester catches Tweety...(wait for it. It's worth it)... then scroll down...

Sylvester chases Tweety

This was an idiot test. How long did you watch?

0-2 seconds - there's hope for you
2-5 seconds - having a bad day?
5-10 seconds - are you maybe just a slow reader?
10-20 seconds - remedial classes are nothing to be ashamed of
20-30 seconds - it is recommended that you don't breed.
30 sec-1 min - you probably can't read this anyway. So why bother?
1-2 min - the equivalent of the average house plant
2-5 min - Good afternoon Mr Bush
5 min-1 hr - Dead people score in this range
1hr plus - congratulations. You have a negative IQ. To find out what your prize is, watch bugs until he finishes his carrot...

Bugs Bunny

The 411 - YOGI BEAR

Yogi Bear is smarter than the average bear,
Yogi Bear is always in the ranger's hair.

At a picnic table you will find him there
Stuffing down more goodies than the average bear.

He will sleep till noon but before it's dark,
He'll have every pic-a-nic basket that's in Jellystone Park.

Yogi has it better than a millionaire
That's because he's smarter than the average bear.

Yogi BearYogi Bear is a fictional anthropomorphic bear who appears in a series of animated cartoons created by Hanna-Barbera Productions.

Yogi made his debut in 1958 as a supporting character in The Huckleberry Hound Show. He became very popular, and in 1961 was given his own show, which also included the segments Snagglepuss and Yakky Doodle. There was even a musical animated feature film, Hey There, It's Yogi Bear!, in 1964. Over the years he appeared in many other spin-off series as well, including Yogi's Gang (1973), Yogi's Space Race (1978), Galaxy Goof-Ups (1978), Yogi's Treasure Hunt (1985),The New Yogi Bear Show (1988), the "Fender Bender 500" segment on Wake, Rattle and Roll (1990), and Yo Yogi (1991).

Art Carney Like many Hanna-Barbera characters, Yogi's personality and mannerisms were based on a popular celebrity of the time. Art Carney's character on The Honeymooners was said to be Yogi's inspiration. Yogi's name is a nod to the famed baseball star Yogi Berra.

411The plot of most of Yogi's cartoons centered around his antics in the fictional Yogi BearJellystone Park, a takeoff on the famous Yellowstone National Park. (There had been a 1941 Bugs Bunny cartoon, Wabbit Twouble, that used the more obvious name "Jellostone" Park, a play on both the national park and the trademark of the popular gelatin dessert.) Yogi, accompanied by his reluctant best friend Boo-Boo, would often try to steal 'pic-a-nic' baskets from campers in the park, much to the chagrin of Park Ranger Smith. A girlfriend bear, Cindy, turned up sometimes, and normally disapproved of Yogi's antics.

411 Stretching literary license significantly, the relationship of Yogi and Boo-Boo could be compared to that of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, in the context of the whimsical, adventurous leader and the practical sidekick. Hanna and Barbera would repeat this formula many times, notably in the later series Quick Draw McGraw.

Yogi Bear is well-known for a variety of different catchphrases, including his pet name for picnic baskets ("pic-a-nic baskets") and his favorite self-promotion ("I'm smarter than the average bear!"), although he often overestimates his own cleverness. He also liked to say, "Hey there, Booboo!" as his preferred greeting to his humbler sidekick.

Yogi cartoons are mentioned as a favorite of Howard Stern's in his book Miss America. Stern describes being duped by his sister Ellen concerning the alternate day schedule watching "his fu*king Bear Cartoons" vs. romantic movies.

411 Yogi has a Martian rock named after him. Yogi Rock was discovered in 1997. In the initial photos the rock had the appearance of a little bear facing away. The 1992 movie Stay Tuned featured a commercial for a fictional kids' non-alcoholic beer called "Yogi Beer".

Yogi BearA spoof of Yogi Bear appeared in The Simpsons episode, "When You Dish Upon a Star." Homer Simpson has a dream where he and Bart are Yogi and Boo Boo, while Ned Flanders poses as Ranger Smith, who is savagely mauled by "Homi" when he tries to stop him after stealing a picnic basket. As he prepares to maul "Bart-Bart" as well for criticizing what he had done to "Ranger Ned", Homer awakens from his dream. He describes the dream as such: "I was having the most wonderful dream. I had a hat and a tie with no pants on."

In 2001, Saturday Night Live's TV Funhouse did a parody of Yogi entitled The Anatominals Show with a second installment shown in 2002.

411 John Kricfalusi, creator of Ren & Stimpy, created and directed two Spumco-styled Yogi cartoons in 1999: A Day in the Life of Ranger Smith and Boo Boo Runs Wild. Both shorts aired that year on the Cartoon Network as part of a Yogi Bear special. Boo Boo Runs Wild features a fight between Yogi and Ranger Smith, which was heavily edited for broadcast for both violence and suggestive situations. A third Yogi cartoon from Spumco was planned and even storyboarded, but was not finished. In 2003, Spumco created another Boo-Boo cartoon, Boo-Boo and the Man, which was made with Macromedia Flash and released on Cartoon Network's website.

Yogi and Boo Boo appeared on Adult Swim's Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law in 2002 in the episode "Death By Chocolate", where Boo Boo was accused of being a Unabomber-like character.

Yogi and Boo Boo also made a cameo in an episode of Cartoon Network's The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.

Yogi appeared in the Family Guy episode "Hell Comes to Quahog" in one of the show's flashbacks. In it, he is assassinated by Peter with a hunting knife in front of Boo-Boo, as a favor to a "park ranger". Yogi and Boo-Boo were briefly considered (and licensed) to become the animatronic entertainment at ShowBiz Pizza restaurants (the result of souring relations between ShowBiz and the company who owned ShowBiz's existing animatronic show, The Rock-afire Explosion). Other than a very short run at three test locations, this never materialized.

411 In addition, Yogi Bear lends his name to a chain of recreational vehicle and camping parks, "Yogi Bear's Jellystone Park Camp-Resorts", with the first opening in 1969 in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin, and as of 2006, had over 70 locations in the United States and Canada. There is also one remaining restaurant from the chain bearing Yogi's name, "Yogi Bear's Honey Fried Chicken", in Hartsville, South Carolina. In both cases, Hanna-Barbera licensed the name and likenesses to the respective companies.

In The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour, the character Sanjay utters one of Yogi's catchpharases, "I am smarter than the average bear!".

Yogi Bear is currently aired by Cartoon Network's sister channel, Boomerang, worldwide. and it is still unknown when it's going to be on Cartoon Network TOO in Yogi Bearthe UK.

There was also a Hanna-Barbera Personal Favorites video where William Hanna and Joseph Barbera picked their favorite Yogi Bear episodes, including the very first one, "Yogi Bear's Big Break", and Yogi meeting some storybook friends: The Three Little Pigs, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Little Red Riding Hood.

A 4-DVD box set of the complete series was released November 15, 2005.

411 Yogi Bear in other languages
Brazilian Portuguese: Zé Colméia (something like "Honeycomb Joe")
Catalan: L'Ós Yogui
Danish: Yogi Bjørn
Dutch: Yogi Beer
Finnish: Jogi-karhu (sometimes also Yogi-karhu)
French: Yogi l'ours
Galician: O Oso Iogui
German: Yogi Bär
Hungarian: Maci Laci ("maci" is a diminutive for "medve", which is "bear"; "Laci" is a diminutive for the common first name "László", chosen for its rhyme.)
Italian: L'Orso Yoghi
Japanese: Kuma-Goro
Polish: Mis Jogi (sometimes also Mis Yogi)
Romanian: Ursul Yogi
Spanish: El Oso Yogui
Swedish: Yogi Björn
Taiwan: "Yujia Xiong"
Czech: Méda Béda
Korean: Yoki Bae-er
Slovak: Medved Jogi
Slovenian: Jogi medvedek or Medved Jogi (usually called just Jogi)
Turkish: Ayi Yogi

*From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Fractal Animals

To whomever created these masterpieces, please let me know so I can provide credit.

'Star Wars' sequel should have gay characters, GLAAD says

Chicago Tribune news services, Contact Reporter
First Order stormtroopers are shown in a scene from "The Force Awakens." (Film Frame / AP)
First Order stormtroopers are shown in a scene from "The Force Awakens." (Film Frame / AP)
"Star Wars" should introduce gay or lesbian characters into the franchise, GLAAD urges in a new report.

The push comes as part of the anti-defamation group's studio responsibility index, an annual survey of depictions of LGBT characters in major studio releases. Disney, which owns "Star Wars" creator LucasFilm, was one of two studios to feature no gay or lesbian characters in any of their films last year. The other was Paramount.

"Star Wars: The Force Awakens" was praised for featuring a female and an African-American protagonist, but GLAAD says that the diversity push needs to be more expansive. It wants "Star Wars: Episode VIII," currently shooting in London, to wave the rainbow flag, too.

"As sci-fi projects have the special opportunity to create unique worlds whose advanced societies can serve as a commentary on our own, the most obvious place where Disney could include LGBT characters is in the upcoming eighth 'Star Wars' film," the report reads. "2015's 'The Force Awakens' has introduced a new and diverse central trio, which allows the creators opportunity to tell fresh stories as they develop their backstory. Recent official novels in the franchise featured lesbian and gay characters that could also be easily written into the stories."

The lack of diversity on the big screen has inspired fierce debate around the entertainment industry, with some of the conversation stemming from the Oscars' recent failure to nominate actors of color. Despite the chatter, when it comes to LGBT characters, GLAAD found that little progress has been made. Of the 126 major studio releases last year, only 22 of them -- or 17.5% -- featured LGBT characters. That was the same percentage of characters that appeared in films in 2014.

More than three quarters of films (77%) with LGBT characters featured gay men, less than a quarter (23%) included lesbians and less than a tenth (9%) included bisexual characters. There was only one film with a transgender character that was deemed inclusive. The characters that did appear were not racially diverse. In 2015, slightly more than 25% of LGBT characters were people of color compared with 32% in 2014.

"It is not enough for LGBT characters to simply be present; rather, these characters must be crafted thoughtfully and better reflect the full diversity of the LGBT community," said GLAAD President/CEO Sarah Kate Ellis in a statement. "Leaving LGBT people out of the picture -- or including them only as a punchline -- keeps old prejudices alive and creates an unsafe environment, not only here in America, but around the world where most audiences see these depictions."

The failure to show lesbian, gay and transgender characters comes amidst a period of wider social acceptance. The Supreme Court upheld same-sex marriage last summer and the majority of public opinion is now in favor of allowing same-sex unions. At the same time, Hollywood has used its financial heft to push for inclusion. Last March, major studios banded together to pressure Georgia not to go forward with a religious liberty bill that they claimed discriminated against LGBT citizens.

However, that did not extend to on screen portrayals of gay people. No studio received a "good" rating for their inclusion of LGBT characters. Fox, Lionsgate, Sony and Universal all earned adequate ratings, while Paramount, Disney and Warner Bros. earned failing grades. Lionsgate, which released the gay rights drama "Freeheld" and featured LGBT characters in "The DUFF" and "American Ultra," was the most inclusive major studio, with eight out of its 24 releases deemed inclusive.

GLAAD also took issue with offensive depictions of LGBT people in a handful of big screen comedies. Kevin Hart's work, in particular, was criticized in the report. "Get Hard" and "The Wedding Ringer," two Hart hits, were cited for trading on "gay panic" humor.


Tuesday, May 03, 2016

The Back Pew

The Back Pew by Jeff Larson
A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding salary.

A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, 'Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us. Silence fell on the congregation.

In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.'

The entire congregation said, 'Amen.'

Crooked Trees of Hafford

Excerpt from Post by Paulie at 4:49 PM on September 6, 2004, fat Paulie "Travel" Blog:

Apparently there's more to see in Saskatchewan than endless prairie and the great big sky. Having heard somewhere about a mysterious group of crooked aspen growing on a farm north of Saskatoon, Ben and I decided to spend a Sunday afternoon drive investigating their existence.

It took a bit of doing, and a bit of googling, but I found a map on Virtual Saskatchewan that pointed us in the general direction. We headed north at Radisson, passed Hafford (a town full of road-signs in Ukrainian or something), and turned left onto the next highway. From there, the tiny gif map failed us.

We were headed north on rural road 13 (ooh, spooky) looking for the trees halfway to Alticane. Alticane, as you should be made aware, is a group of 6 houses comprising a village. 3 of the houses seem to be occupied. It was creepy as creepy could be. Having found Alticane (after passing it the first time and seeing a dilapidated old sign on the way back), we calculated where a turn-off should be, and drove south a ways. We finally found a turn-off that looked well traveled, and another 5k down the road we looked to our right and saw a sign that read "Crooked Trees, 2 miles north, 1/2 mile west".

Having finally arrived, we were somewhat surprised at how small the grove was (no more than 50 feet in any direction), but also that all the other trees, as close as 10 meters away, were growing normally.

Nobody knows why these aspen grow this way, but they do know that animals won't go into the mini forest, and that strange lights and sights have been seen in the area.

If you're ever in this part of the world, it's a great way to spend an afternoon. Take a look for yourselves:

(Photos courtesy of Deb J)

Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford


This is neat! Try not to spend all day at this...
Daffy's parachute jump

Click here to play
Click above to play

A Practical Visitor's Guide to Saskatoon

Saskatoon Shines

Originally Posted by Sarah fat Paulie's Travel Blog.

(original source: Anonymous)

1. First you must learn to pronounce the city's name. It is Sask-A-tune, not "S'toon", and it DOES NOT matter how people who are not from here pronounce it.

2. Saskatoon has its own version of traffic rules. Never forget that downtown Saskatoon is composed in large part of three or four block streets. The only way to get out of the center of town is to turn around and start over when you reach the river.

3. All directions start with, "Go down Circle Drive ."

4. Circle Drive has no beginning and no end, although it does not actually circle the entire city, either.

5. Exit and entry ramps on Circle Drive are just the recommended way of entering and exiting Feel free to exit at any grassy point you wish.

6. The 8:00 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 9:30 a.m. The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:30 to 6:30 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

7. If you actually stop at a yellow light, this is a dead giveaway that you are a tourist.

8. Idylwyld can only be pronounced by a native Saskatonian , so do not attempt the phonetic pronunciation. People will tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. (The way The Wizard remembers how to spell it: "I Do Your Laundry While You Lie Down.")

9. Bingo, Bugs and Baseball are here to stay. DEAL WITH IT.

10. Construction on Saskatoon streets in summer is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. Kind of like the weather.

11. Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they close down all lanes except one during rush hour.

12. Many bizarre sights can be explained simply by uttering the phrase, "Oh, we're in Sutherland".

13. We have a zoo. Well, it's not really a zoo. We just like to call it a zoo.

14. We also have a nude beach that we call "Bareass Beach". No one really knows where this is but everyone has heard of it so assume it is an urban myth and does not really exist (except in the minds of Saskatonians).

15. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it was probably left on at the factory where the car was made.

16. Buying a Saskatoon street map is a waste of money since the termination or continuation of any street is entirely at the discretion of the Works Department of the City. Our Works Department also has a fondness for changing street names at mid-way points (typical instruction that a northbound tourist may receive: "just head outta town on that road that used to be Warman Road")

17. Asking directions will help you get acquainted with the residents. It will not be any help at all for finding the address you seek.

18. Never honk your horn at another car in traffic. The bumper sticker that reads, "Keep honking, I'm reloading." is considered a fair warning.

Monday, May 02, 2016

Don’t Try This At Home

A performance on the Russian Bar, recorded for Chinese television at the Circus Festival of Monte Carlo. The final stunt is unbelievable!

Customer Service today

Don’t forget to cancel your credit card before you die .........

Now some people are really stupid! Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.

This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.


Here is the exchange :

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'

Citibank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

Citibank: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'

Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'

Citibank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

Citibank: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)

Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given)

After they get the fax :

Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won’t care.'

Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'
(What is wrong with these people?!?)

Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'

Citibank: 'That might help...'

Family Member: ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69. '

Citibank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???

*Thanks, Daryn

Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners

So What's Really Bothering You?
My four year old daughter had a terrible case of the flu. She was achy, had a high fever, and was terribly hoarse. After waiting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office for over an hour we were finally admitted to see the Doctor.

After the usual routine of listening to her breathing and checking her ears, the Doctor asked my daughter, “So what would you say is bothering you the most?”

After a brief pause, my daughter replies, “My little brother Steven, he always breaks my toys.”
Got Any Grapes?
A duck walks into a convenience store. He asks the man at the counter, "You got any grapes?" Guy at the counter says, "No, we don't have any grapes." Duck says "okay" and he leaves.

The next day the duck comes back in and says, "You got any grapes?" The man once again replies, "No! We do not have any grapes." The duck says "okay" and he leaves.

The third day the duck walks in again and asks, "You got any grapes?" The man is very annoyed and says, "No! For the last time, we do NOT have any grapes. If you come in here again and ask for grapes, I'm gonna nail your bill to the floor!" The duck replies "okay" and leaves.

The fourth day the duck returns once again and asks, "You got any nails?" The man at the counter says "No." The duck says, "Well then, you got any grapes?"
Smart Woman in New York
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Paris on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. She has the title, and everything works out.

The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank's president and the loan officer enjoy a good laugh at the woman's expense for using a new Mercedes Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the woman returns. She repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The woman replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return unharmed?"
A Man Walks Into A Bar
A man walks into a bar, already drunk, and asks for a drink. "Sorry," the bartender says, "but you obviously already had a little too much to drink."

Fuming mad the man staggers out the front door and walks back in through the side door. “Can I have a drink please?”

“Sorry,” the bartender says, “but you can’t have a drink here.”

The man staggers out again and then stumbles his way back in through the back door. “Can I please have a drink?”

“Enough!” the bartender screamed. “I told you, no drinks!”

The man looks at the bartender closely and exclaims “Geez! How many bars do you work at?!"
The Considerate Husband
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner."

The room got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" replied the teacher.

"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Visiting Grandma
Grandma, who was becoming an evermore intimidating personality as the years went on, was giving directions to her grown grandson who was coming to visit with his wife:

"You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T. There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, ring my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?" the grandson asked.

"You're coming empty handed...?"
A Final Exam Miracle
Just before the final exam in a college finance class, a less-than-stellar student approached the professor.

“Can you tell me what grade I would need to get on the exam to pass the course?” he asked.

The professor gave him the bad news. “The exam is worth 100 points. You would need 113 points to earn a D.”

“OK,” he said. “And how many points would I need to get a C?”
A Penguin Outing
Two men are in a truck driving around with a penguin. Noticing the penguin, a traffic cop stops the truck driver and tells him to take this animal to a zoo right away. The next day, the same cop sees the same two men in the same truck with the same penguin again.

He stops them and says, "Didn't I tell you guys to take this animal to a zoo yesterday?"

The driver replies, "We did officer! We are taking him to the movies today."
Country Refreshment
A man was on a long walk in the country. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire.

There was a baby pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly.

The housewife replied, "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."
Best Way to Learn
Little Johnny asks his father, "Where does the wind come from?"
"I don't know."

"Why is the earth round?"
"I don't know."

"Why do dogs bark?"
"I don't know."

Little Johnny pauses for a beat, "Does it disturb you that I ask so much?"
"Not at all son. How else are you going to learn."
Poor Mom Is Still Stuck
When the Smith family moved into their new house, a visiting grandparent asked five-year-old Tommy how he liked the new place.

“It’s great,” he said. “I have my own room, Alex has his own room, and Jamie has her own room. But poor mom is still stuck with dad.”
When You Get to be 105
Reporter interviewing a 105-year-old lady....

"What is the best thing about being 105?" the reporter asked.

The old lady replied, "No peer pressure."
We Might As Well Give Up
Some boy scouts from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten. Then one of them saw some lightning bugs and said to his friend, "We might as well give up. They're coming after us with flashlights!"