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Friday, February 24, 2017

Stupid Pick-Up Lines

If I could rearrange the alphabet... I'd bang you in the restroom
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.

2. (Lick finger and wipe on his shirt)... Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

3. Nice ass... what time does it open?

4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

7. I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Cocked Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

9. Wanna play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Wal-Mart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

13. You might not be the best-looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

14. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

15. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

16. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

17. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

18. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Easy Bottom?

19. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

20. My name is Mark... remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

21. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

22. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

23. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

24. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anywhere you want to.

25. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

26. If you and I were the last men on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

27. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

28. Dude, I'm an American Express lover... you shouldn't go home without me.

29. Do you sleep on your stomach? No...? Can I ???

30. Do you wash your jeans in Windex? ...because I can see myself in them.

A HEART WARMING STORY & PICTURES

A Thank You kiss

This photograph shows a red Doberman kissing an exhausted fireman. He had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight the fire. She is pregnant.

The firefighter was afraid of her at first, because he had never been around a Doberman before. When he finally finished putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest.

A photographer from the Charlotte, North Carolina newspaper, "The Observer," noticed this red Doberman in the distance looking at the fireman.

He saw her walking straight toward the fireman and wondered what she was going to do.
Doberman and Firefighter

As he raised his camera, she came up to the tired man who had saved her life and the lives of her babies, and kissed him, when the photographer snapped this photograph.
A Dog's Life...

Mom serving breakie

The kids start the day with Mom supervising breakfast.

Assigned Seating

Then off to school they go. Everyone has an assigned seat in the classroom.


Where's Waldo?

After resting up, they're ready for some fun. Where's Waldo is their favorite game.


Tuckered Out

Before you know it, everyone is tuckered out.


When the kids finish their busy school day, it's time for a bath.

Drying Out

Then they dry off before bedtime.


Thought you could use a smile today!

Two Stories to make you think - when you have a spare moment

STORY NUMBER ONE

Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago. Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic.

He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.

Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was his lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time. To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but also Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was also large that it filled an entire Chicago City block.

Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him. Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had the best of everything: clothes, cars and a good education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no
object. And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong.

Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was. Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he couldn't pass on a good name and a good example.

One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done. He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished name and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great. So, he testified.

Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street. But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he would ever pay. Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion and a poem clipped from a magazine.

The poem read:

The clock of life is wound but once
And no man has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop
At late or early hour.

Now is the only time you own.
Live, love, toil with a will.
Place no faith in time.
For the clock may soon be still.


STORY NUMBER TWO

World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific.

One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship. His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet.

As he was returning to the mother ship he saw something that turned his blood cold, a squadron of Japanese aircraft were speeding their way toward the American fleet.

The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger.

There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet.

Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent. Undaunted, he continued the assault.

He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible and rendering them unfit to fly.

Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction.

Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier. Upon arrival he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet. He had in fact destroyed five enemy aircraft.

This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Congressional Medal of Honor. A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29. His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man.

So the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch's Memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?

Butch O'Hare was Easy Eddie's son.

Beer Cannon game

...Original German sound track...

Just aim the beer canon towards the open mouths of the folks who stand and click the mouse.

Put the circle right on the mouths, and don't forget that German cows like beer too.

Have fun!

Click here to play

Click above to play!

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Coming this weekend!

Coming to 'OZ' this weekend! My life with David Cassidy. In that post you will find many deep secrets I have shared with David. This will be the first time I am sharing these moments with anyone. So keep watch for my post about "My lover, David Cassidy"...

Refugees are welcome in Canada...

Refugees are welcome in Canada...click here to apply
Click above to apply

Best Ever Leadership Posters

Best Ever Leadership Posters
Click here to go to WhatWillMatter.com and get them

BEWARE: LEGO Batman movie promotes gay adoption

From Lifesite - Pro-family news

February 21, 2017 (LifeSiteNews) — Yesterday, I caught the new LEGO Batman movie and boy did it disappoint!

It was chock full of pro-gay propaganda. Think the sexual innuendo of the Flintstones minus the real humor. It seemed the creators were so anxious to subtly indoctrinate the little ones into the gender ideology that making it humorous came as a distant second thought.

I think Michael Hamilton over at PJ Media had it right when he summarized the movie with “orphan adoption by two dads, homoerotic attraction, and penis jokes.” He writes:

“Gender identity, gender roles, and gender neutrality are all over the story board like so many LEGOs,” he said. “These topics hide in plain sight, because they are the foundation. Few parents and fewer kids will question any of it, because there’s a way to interpret all of it as technically innocent. That’s what makes these messages subliminal (and potentially powerful). LEGO Batman makes them seem plain as vanilla and American as apple pie.”

Hamilton continues:

For example, two men adopting a son together sounds like a dream come true to Richard, the orphan Bruce Wayne adopts without telling him he’s Batman. That’s why, when Richard hesitates to board a bat vehicle without Bruce-Dad’s permission, Batman tells him he and Bruce-Dad share custody of him. Richard doesn’t need Bruce-Dad’s permission; he has Bat-Dads!

This solution thrills Richard, who unblinkingly climbs aboard (and later becomes Robin). The bubbly young man is tickled as he spells it out for viewers: Yesterday, he didn’t have a dad, and now he has two dads! Viewers may laugh, because they know it’s a farce: Bruce-Dad and Bat-Dad are one. Richard doesn’t learn the truth until the end, when Bat-Dad pulls off his mask to reveal Bruce-Dad’s face and tells Richard to call him “Dads.”

Funny, right?

The Wizard's take:

Funny? No. Real? Of course. To think that this film has any gay propaganda is plain ludicrous. The fact that Bruce has an alter-ego is straight from DC Comics. To make people think that if a child has 2 dad's, there is something immoral there. I would rather have 2 dad's as loving parents than live in a house with straight parents where there is no love. The fact that Bruce takes in Richard is a retelling of the original Batman concept. I can assure you there is no gay propaganda here. In fact, what is gay propaganda? I think you (the writer) thinks that any time same-sex anything enters the picture it's gay propaganda. Huffin puff! Pure crapaloza!

I can say pretty much that any time straight people are in a movie, adopting a child etc, then I can say, "That's heterosexual propaganda!". Ridiculous, right? Get with the new millennium! I call bullshit!

--The Wizard
Dick Grayson thanks Batman

Sarah's Cats Present:

Sarah's Cats Present: food makes cats sick

Alexander The Great

Alexander The Great
On his deathbed Alexander summoned his generals and told them his three ultimate wishes:

1. The best doctors should carry his coffin;
2. The wealth he had accumulated (money, gold, precious stones) should be scattered along the way to his burial;
3. His hands should be left hanging outside the coffin for all to see.

Surprised by these unusual requests, one of his generals asked Alexander to explain.

Here is what he said:

1. I want the best doctors to carry my coffin to demonstrate that in the face of death, even the best doctors in the world have no power to heal;
2. I want the road to be covered with my treasure so that everybody sees that the wealth acquired on earth, stays on earth.
3. I want my hands to swing in the wind so that people understand that we come to this world empty-handed and we leave empty-handed after the most precious treasure of all is exhausted - Time.

Time is our most precious treasure because it is limited. We can produce more wealth, but we cannot produce more time.
When we give someone our time, we actually give a portion of our life that we will never take back. Our time is our life!
The best present you can give your family and friends is your time.

May you have the wisdom to give it.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

How Well Do You Know Disney?

Do you recall the names of all Three Little Pigs?







Fiddler, Piper, and Practical are the three porcine brothers in Disney's 1933 animated short "The Three Little Pigs." Fiddler and Piper are named for their preferred instruments, and Practical is the pig with foresight and a bunch of bricks.

Cuckoo Clock

PoohCoo Clock
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.

Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the pinche cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh shit,", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

WARNING

Warning!!! Bathing suits could be a major contributor to drowning deaths! In fact, informal research shows that IN 99.99999% of drowning deaths, the victims were invariably wearing a bathing suits or some other equally inappropriate article of clothing! Where as people who feign the bathing suit, swimming naturally as God intended (so called skinny dippers) tended to tempt this ill fate of accidental drowning is virtually undocumented anywhere!

It is no great stretch of the imagination that people who risk the bathing suit also probably make many other equally stupid, life threatening further contributing to the loss of life. But the bathing suit, or some other articles of clothing alone or in combination seem to be the greatest common denominator among all drowning deaths, so be warned. With a government so avowed to serve and protect us from even out own stupidity such that almost no freedom remains sacred - this researcher is amazed that there is no government department nor program to save us from the peril of the bathing suit. No doubt the textile/fashion lobby is perhaps even more powerful that government itself and would do anything to thwart such an initiative. Yet any other product that accounts for or is so closely associated with so many deaths annually would immediately come under VERY strict scrutiny! At the very least, a WARNING Label for gosh sakes in EVERY bathing suits!!

"WARNING: Besides unsightly tan lines this product has (at the very least) been shown to be closely associated with drowning deaths!! Any attempt to try to swim in this thing could result in immediate death!"

At least, we need and deserve a Federal Law that prohibits 'swimming while impaired" by a bathing suit. Fine, if you want to wear one on the beach - BUT NOT IN THE WATER!

Pee for Two and Two for Pee...

Pee for Two and Two for Pee...

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Building, Repairing and Burning Bridges

The quality of your life will be dramatically affected by the quality of your relationships.

“Some bridges need to be built; some should be repaired; some should be crossed. And some should be burned. Relationships are important, Save them when you can; leave them when you must.”
--Michael Josephson, WhatWillMatter.com

Iridescent Cube

Iridescent Cube - by Pi-Slices
by Pi-Slices (@phlp), ello
http://pislices.ca/

The Queen - Long to reign over us – Some of the best pictures of Queen Elizabeth II

various photos from around the internet
The Queen - Long to reign over us – Some of the best pictures of Queen Elizabeth II
The Queen - Long to reign over us – Some of the best pictures of Queen Elizabeth II
The Queen - Long to reign over us – Some of the best pictures of Queen Elizabeth II
The Queen - Long to reign over us – Some of the best pictures of Queen Elizabeth II
The Queen - Long to reign over us – Some of the best pictures of Queen Elizabeth II
The Queen - Long to reign over us – Some of the best pictures of Queen Elizabeth II

Earth Hour 60 - Coming soon to a city near you!

It's so very easy to take part. Join us at 8:30pm on 25 March to celebrate our amazing planet. It only takes an hour. Saturday March 25th, 2017 Learn more about Earth Hour 60+






It's so very easy to take part. Join us at 8:30pm on 25 March to celebrate our amazing planet. It only takes an hour. Saturday March 25th, 2017
Learn more about Earth Hour 60+ here