The 411 - Sharon Epatha Merkerson

Sharon Epatha Merkerson (born 28 November 1952 in Saginaw, Michigan), is a Tony Award-nominated and Emmy Award-winning American actress. She is best known as Lieutenant Anita Van Buren (1993-present) on the long-running television crime drama Law & Order. At present she has been on the show longer than any other cast member. As of the 366th episode in the 16th season, she is the first actress to appear in 300 episodes.

The youngest of five children, she was raised in Detroit, where she graduated from Cooley High School in 1970. She earned a Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree from Wayne State University and began her New York theater career in 1978.
 

Merkerson was nominated for a Tony as Best Actress for her performance as Berniece in The Piano Lesson and won an Obie Award in 1992 for her work in I'm Not Stupid.

 Her screen credits include Jacob's Ladder, Loose Cannons, She's Gotta Have It and James Cameron's Terminator 2: Judgment Day, in which she played the terrified wife of Joe Morton.

Merkerson made her television debut as Reba the Mail Lady on Pee Wee's Playhouse, and has appeared on The Cosby Show, among other series. But her single most important television appearance may have been in the first-season Law and Order episode "Mushrooms," in which she portrayed the grief-stricken mother of an 11-month-old boy who is shot accidentally. Her performance was not only memorable to the audience during that key first season, but also impressed the producers enough to select Merkerson to replace Dann Florek as detective squad chief in the series' fourth season.

 In 2006, she won Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild awards for her performance in the television movie Lackawanna Blues, her first starring role.

She is an outspoken advocate against smoking and for lung cancer research and awareness.

 Merkerson is often reticent about revealing what her first name really is -- Sharon. On the June 11, 2005 episode of NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!, she jokingly claimed that the initial "S," "stands for 'Sweet' [because] so many people have difficulty with Epatha, which is what I prefer to be called."

*From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Motorcyclist

 

Great Commercial!

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for the year 2021

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
   
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
   
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
   
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
   
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
   
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
   
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
   
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
   
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
   
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2021 - We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.

Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

When It's time to hang up the thong

 

Success Begins With the Homework Environment

Parents want their children to get good grades in school. Unfortunately, not every parent knows how best to help their children meet academic challenges, including completing homework assignments. So how do parents maximize their child’s chances for success in school? Start by creating a home environment that is conducive to homework and learning.

“Sometimes parents think helping their child complete their homework, or even doing their child’s homework for him, will help him achieve better grades in school,” states Dr. Richard Bavaria, Ph.D., vice president of education for Sylvan Learning Centre. “Often, it’s just the opposite, creating a situation where children have not learned the concepts they are later tested on in the classroom.”

A simple way to help your child with homework is by creating an atmosphere that works with your child to efficiently tackle school tasks. Really get to know your child’s homework style and develop a plan for school success.


Sylvan Learning Centre, the leading provider of in-centre and live, online tutoring at home to students of all ages and skill levels, offers parents the following tips and advice to develop a homework plan for back-to-school success:

1. Set Goals. Help your child set attainable goals for each class and help her identify what will need to be done to reach each goal. For example, to get an A in Canadian History, she will need to turn in all of her homework, participate in class, etc.

2. Know Your Child. People learn in at least eight different ways, according to the Multiple Intelligences Theory: visually, verbally, physically, mathematically, musically, naturalistically, through group activity or through quiet thinking time. If you help your child work within his style, he will work more effectively.

3. Create a Homework Zone. Set up an area in your home for studying, complete with a dictionary, paper and pens. Make sure the area is free from potential distractions and that study tools are at your child’s fingertips to keep him focused on homework.

4. Develop Class Files. Develop a color-coded file for each of your child’s classes. Make separate tabs for homework assignments, exams and projects, so your child can refer back to class materials when studying for comprehensive tests.

5. Set Weekly Milestones. For big projects or exams, get a large calendar for your child’s homework area and help him set short timelines to ensure projects and studying aren’t left until the night before. Celebrate with your child when each milestone is met.

By working with your child to develop a plan to efficiently complete homework tasks, you will find higher grades, fewer homework headaches and a more confident child as a result.

*Sylvan Learning Centre

Somebody's Someone

 

Turn to the six o'clock news, another soldier dies
Tried to hide it but I couldn't help it, I had to cry
When my little boy asked me daddy was he your friend
I said no, I didn't even know him

But he was somebody's someone, a neighbor, a husband
A brother, a father, and a mother's only son
He was an uncle, a cousin, somebody's best friend
And I'm sure at times a shoulder to lean on
He was somebody's someone

So I sat there in that chair and helped him understand
How this brave young man gave his life for our land
And although he's someone we'll never know
To you and me he is a hero

He was somebody's someone, a neighbor, a husband
A brother, a father, and a mother's only son
He was an uncle, a cousin, somebody's best friend
And I'm sure at times a shoulder to lean on
He was somebody's someone

To the world he was a total stranger
Who kept us safe and out of danger
But now he's just a picture on TV
Somebody's memory

He was somebody's someone, a neighbor, a husband
A brother, a father, and a mother's only son
He was an uncle, a cousin, somebody's best friend
And I'm sure at times a shoulder to lean on
He was somebody's someone
He was somebody's someone

The 411 - Colonel Harland Sanders

Harland David Sanders, better known as Colonel Sanders (September 9, 1890 – December 16, 1980) was the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). His picture appears on their boxes to this day, and a stylized graphic of his face is a trademark of the corporation.
 

 Sanders was born in Henryville, Indiana. His father died when he was six years old, and since his mother worked, he was required to cook for his family. During his teen years, Sanders worked many jobs, including firefighter, steamboat driver, insurance salesman, and he served as an Army private in Cuba.

At the age of 40, Sanders cooked chicken dishes for people who stopped at his service station in Corbin, Kentucky. Since he didn't have a restaurant, he served the diners in his living quarters in the service station. Eventually, his local popularity grew, and Sanders moved to a motel and restaurant that seated 142 people and worked as the chef. Over the next nine years, he perfected his method of cooking chicken that used the same eleven herbs and spices that are used today at KFC. Furthermore, he made use of a pressure cooker that enhanced the flavor and allowed the chicken to be cooked much faster than pan-frying. He was given the honorary title "Kentucky Colonel" in 1935 by Governor Ruby Laffoon. Unlike most people who receive this title, Sanders chose to call himself "Colonel" and to dress in a stereotypical "southern gentleman" costume as a way of self-promotion.

Sanders was forced to sell his property in order to make way for Interstate 75. Confident of the quality of his fried chicken, the Colonel devoted himself to the chicken franchising business that he started in 1952, the first franchise being setup on 3900 South State Street in South Salt Lake, Utah. He traveled across the country by car from restaurant to restaurant, cooking batches of chicken for restaurant owners and their employees. If the reaction was favorable, he entered into a handshake agreement on a deal that stipulated a payment to him of a nickel for each chicken the restaurant sold. His devoted work turned his small business, Kentucky Fried Chicken, into one of the largest fast food chains in existence. He himself became one of the most recognizable people in the world.

In 1959, Sanders moved the headquarters of his business to a new location near Shelbyville, Kentucky and in 1964, sold it to a group of investors headed by future Kentucky Governor John Y. Brown, Jr. After retiring as a cook, Sanders worked as its company spokesman for most of the rest of his life. He also offered a chance to turn around a failing Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant, to a young Dave Thomas. Working with Col. Sanders, Dave turned four ailing stores into million-dollar successes. Dave Thomas later sold his KFC franchises and opened his first Wendy's in Columbus, Ohio, in 1969. Sanders appeared in many of his company's television commercials between the 1950s and 1970s (with his and KFC's slogan "Finger-lickin' good"), and remained outspoken about the quality of the KFC product, often with a lively vocabulary. In 1975 a libel lawsuit was filed against Harland Sanders by Kentucky Fried Chicken for his comments, including calling the gravy "sludge" and the mashed potatoes "wallpaper paste". The suit was unsuccessful, and he continued to speak out when he felt the quality of the business he founded waned.

He also retained ownership of the headquarters building and soon opened a new restaurant in it. KFC's new owners owned the name Colonel Sanders as it pertained to the restaurant business, so Sanders decided to name his new restaurant "Claudia Sanders' Dinner House" after his wife. As of 2006, this restaurant is still operating and is decorated with many photographs and memorabilia from the Sanders family. (A second Claudia Sanders' Dinner House location was opened in a historic mansion in Bowling Green, Kentucky, but closed in the 1980s).

Sanders died at age 90, on December 16, 1980, of leukemia. He was buried in his characteristic white suit and black bow tie in Cave Hill Cemetery in Louisville, Kentucky, after lying in state in the rotunda of the Kentucky State Capitol. A later cartoon version of Colonel Sanders (voiced by actor Randy Quaid) has appeared in more recent KFC commercials, and he has an almost-identical impersonator, the latter to the considerable consternation of many in the Sanders family.

To this day, the Colonel's secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices remains one of the best-kept trade secrets in business. According to a profile of KFC done by the Food Network television show Unwrapped, portions of the secret spice mix are made at different locations in the United States, and the only copy of the recipe is kept in a vault in corporate headquarters. In 1985, investigative journalist William Poundstone wrote a book, Big Secrets [ISBN 0688048307], which analyzed and revealed (among other things) the secret recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken, and provided readers several methods for duplicating the product.

*From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

FREEMASONRY. SYMBOLS, SECRETS, SIGNIFICANCE

(W. Kirk MacNulty, London, Thames & Hudson, 2006. Hardback, 320 pages, £24.95. ISBN 0-500-51302-3)


This book is such a delight, both visually and intellectually, that I need to come to the point immediately: buy it, read it, lend it to your friends. Kirk MacNulty is well-known to those who seek a closer acquaintance with the ancient mystical spiritual tradition which lies at the heart of Freemasonry and with this exuberantly illustrated book he has proved himself a true teacher, well able to simplify our rich tradition in order to intrigue and enthuse both masons and non-masons. The excellent photographs - many taken by Painton Cowen - are evocative and MacNulty’s captions explain the symbolism simply and expertly, exploring their use in the Temple as well as their moral or mystical meaning.

MacNulty is clear: he sees the philosophical context of Freemasonry deriving from the blend of mystical Kabbalah and Hermetic thought which arose in the Renaissance and which was then expressed in a ‘symbolic structure derived from the medieval Craft guilds.’ This understanding of the Craft is today gaining increasing currency as scholars find more and more data revealing the mysterious traditions which emerged in Europe during the fifteenth century.

The book is organised into several sections which, together, encompass most of the content of Freemasonry; its history, the three Craft degrees, the higher degrees, Freemasonry in Society – covering masonic schools, hospitals, charities, women’s Freemasonry and satirical or political attacks on the Craft - and masonic puzzles and secrets. This latter section looks at the conspiracy theories which have built up around the Craft involving the US Dollar note, the Great Seal, the layout of the city of Washington as well as exploring a variety of masonic ciphers.

Along the way we read a great number of intriguing stories and we learn about the great variety of men who became Freemasons - from Antarctic explorers like Scott and Shackleton to artists such as Marc Chagall. Freemason Alexandre Eiffel built his tower in Paris and then constructed the armature for the Statue of Liberty which was designed by another Freemason, Frédéric Bartholdi, and given to the people of the United States ‘as a symbol of the values which the two countries shared (and which Freemasons hold dear).’

Importantly, MacNulty points out, while there are many Grand Lodges, regular and irregular, ‘Freemasons remember that deep down they are all brothers.’

Michael Baigent

Address to a Haggis

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit' hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis 

--Robert Burns

Area Man's Quirky Hobby Kills 27

NIPPERSINK, MI—In the '80s, this little town made its name in the news with a local eccentric old coot decked out from head to toe in thousands of buttons. In the '90s, it was the goofy car nut who converted his Chevrolet to look like the Statue of Liberty. Now, as residents and law-enforcement officials learned recently, this tiny Great Lakes fishing community has a local character who stands out with a zany hobby all his own: oddball Matthew Malbert, an otherwise unassuming pharmacist and school-board member, has a special passion for ritually murdering and dismembering at least 27 known victims.

Oh, God, oh, sweet Jesus, this is unbelievable," said Malbert's neighbor and longtime bowling partner Greg Henniken, who "never in a million years" would have suspected Malbert could be capable of anything this outlandish. When asked to comment on the recently uncovered menagerie of human body parts in Malbert's basement hobby-room, Henniken simply held his hand to his forehead as if to say, "Good grief!"

"This is truly beyond my comprehension," said Nippersink Police Chief Orin Lambert, just one of a dozen residents who have found themselves on TV as their wacky neighbor gets more and more attention for his unusual pastime. Malbert's hijinks were first reported in a surprise "breaking news" segment on the local news, then on the front page of the evening gazette, and now on countless network-news features as growing interest in the nutty character's antics put Nippersink on the map.

"I've lived here all my life, and nothing like this has ever happened before," Lambert said. "This is just—well, I've never seen anything like it."

"Never, ever," he added.

Malbert, who modestly describes himself in a newly discovered private journal—complete with diagrams of the female reproductive system, Polaroid photo collages of sawed-open human abdomens, and his own tiny, methodical handwriting—as a simple "collector," has already been on the front of Newsweek, Time, and more newspapers than local residents care to count. In fact, this longtime Michigan resident, whose work was until two weeks ago a complete secret to everyone but his more than two dozen bound and gagged victims, is soon to be the subject of a major profile on the popular TV program 48 Hours.

Malbert, on the advice of his court-appointed lawyer, was unable to publicly comment on all the fuss over his hobby, but, in typical fashion, released a short, offbeat statement through his attorney.

"This was nothing more than a way for me to while away the time," the statement read in part. "Honestly, I had never planned to share it with anyone. I did it purely for myself."

Malbert's parents, unassuming folks residing in his hometown of Des Moines, IA, said word of their kooky son's newfound fame came as a "complete shock" to them.

"When he was younger, he liked to horse around with [and mutilate] the animals around the farm," said mother Ethel Malbert, holding a third-grade photo of her son. "But that was just kid's stuff, you know. We never thought he would take it this far."

*The Onion

Exercise Program

Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!


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That's enough for the first day. Great job.

Have some chocolate.

"Normisms"

What's doing, Norm?
"Well, science is seeking a cure for thirst. I happen to be the guinea pig."
 

What's up, Norm?
"My nipples. It's freezing out there."
 

What's shaking, Norm?
"All four cheeks & a couple of chins."
 

What's new, Norm?
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach & they're demanding beer."
 

What'd you like, Normie?
"A reason to live. Give me another beer."
 

What'll you have, Normie?
"Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of the tap."
Looks like beer, Norm.
"Call me Mister Lucky."
 

Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?
"Like a baby treats a diaper
 

What's the story, Mr. Peterson?
"The Bobbsey Twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."
 

Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you.
"I know, if she calls, I'm not here."

What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
"A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'"

"Whatcha up to, Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."

How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor."
I'm sorry to hear that.
"No, I mean pour."

How's life treating you, Norm?
"Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."
 

"Women. Can't live with 'em.... pass the beer nuts."

What's going down, Normie?
"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."
 

Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
"Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty."
 

How's it going, Mr. Peterson?
"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."
 

What's the story, Norm?
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
"A little early, isn't it, Woody?"
For a beer?
"No, for stupid questions."
 

What's the story, Norm?
"Thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it."
 

What's new, Norm?
"Most of my wife."
 

Beer, Norm?
"Naah, I'd probably just drink it."
 

What's doing, Norm?
"Well, science is seeking a cure for thirst. I happen to be the guinea pig."
 

Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
"No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one."
 

How about a beer, Norm?
"Hey I'm high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life."
 

How's a beer sound, Norm?
"I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in."
 

Beer, Normie?
"Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still young."
 

Norm comes in with an attractive woman. Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?
"With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe."
 

What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?
"Going down?"
 

What'll it be, Normie?
"Just the usual, Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel."
 

What do you say, Norm?
"Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer."
 

[coming in from the rain] "Evening, everybody."
Norm!
Still pouring, Norm?
"That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing."
 

Whaddya say, Norm?
"Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes."
 

[Norm goes into the bar at Vic's Bowl-A-Rama] Off-screen crowd: Norm!
Sam: How the hell do they know him here?
Cliff: He's got a life, you know.
 

What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?
"Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer."
 

How's life, Mr. Peterson?
"Oh, I'm waiting for the movie."
 

What can I do for you, Mr. Peterson?
"Elope with my wife."
 

How's life in the fast lane, Normie?
"Beats me, I can't find the on-ramp."
 

What's happening, Mr. Peterson?
"The question, Woody, why is it happening to me?"
 

How are you today, Mr. Peterson?
"Never been better, Woody. ... Just once I'd like to be better."
 

Hey, Mr. Peterson, what do you say to a cold one?
"See you later, Vera, I'll be at Cheers."
 

Well, look at you. You look like the cat that swallowed the canary.
"And I need a beer to wash him down."
 

Hey, Mr. Peterson, how's life?
"Well, the plot's okay, Woody, but it kind of falls apart at the end."
 

What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
"Let's talk about what's going in Mr. Peterson. A beer, Woody."
 

How's life treating you?
"It's not, Sammy, but that doesn't mean you can't."
 

Beer, Norm?
"Have I gotten that predictable? Good."
 

What do you know there, Norm?
"How to sit. How to drink. Want to quiz me?"
 

Hey, how's life treating you there, Norm?
"Beats me. ... Then it kicks me and leaves me for dead."
 

How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?
"Pretty nervous if I was in the room."
 

Hey, Mr. Peterson, what's up?
"The warranty on my liver."
 

What can I do for you, Norm?
"Open up those beer taps and, oh, take the day off, Sam."
 

What's going on, Normie?
"My birthday, Sammy. Give me a beer, stick a candle in it, and I'll blow out my liver."
 

How about a beer, Norm?
"That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!"
 

What's shaking Mr. Peterson?
"What isn't?"
 

How's it going, Norm?
"Cut the small talk and get me a beer."
 

What can I do for you Norm?
"Well, I am going to need something to kill time before my second beer so how about a first one?"
 

How's life Norm?
" Ask a man whose got one."
 

What'll you have, Norm?
"Fame, fortune, and fast women."
How 'bout a beer?
"Even better."
 

How's the world treating you, Norm?
"Like I just ran over its dog."

The Origional Masonic Common Core

 

The Bare Facts

 

Fear

 

Click on the image to open a larger one

Destined to be a classic!

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The Love Doctor

Dear Love Doctor,

I'm writing you from bed. Beside me is a big muscle hunk with perfect teeth, a great smile, and he's fast asleep, snoring so loudly that I'm surprised the neighbors aren't complaining.

Doc, he's driving me nuts. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since he moved in. But, damn it, I love him, so I'm not about to put him out at night with the cat.

So, what can I do?


Signed,

Sleepless in Arizona

Dear Sleepless,

The worst thing about snoring is the person doing it has no idea how annoying they are.

Snoring is simply vibratory noise generated from the throat when the airway narrows beyond a certain point as he relaxes in his sleep. Further narrowing produces not only louder snoring, but also labored breathing. Finally, yet further narrowing can cause complete obstruction, so called sleep apnoea.
There are plenty of so called remedies out there, but most of them are worthless. I would suggest you drag him off to the doctor but in the short run, there are a few things which might help.

If he is overweight, put him on a diet. It will put less stress on the diaphragm.

Have him clear his nose before bed. A decent commercial nose spray should help.

Cut out any alcohol before bed.

And, if all that fails, get a good pair of ear plugs.

The Love Doctor

--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)

Not Biden-ing his time

 

Badgers

 

Click Above.