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Welcome to 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow!! Posting is at 10AM, Noon and 2PM CST daily. Up to 12 days of posts on the main page. The archives have more. You can forward posts by clicking on the envelope at the bottom of the post. Enjoy your stay! *** If you need to contact me, or have a copyright issue, please use the "Contact The Wizard" form on the left side of 'OZ'. Original source and author is cited and credited in each post where possible. ***
Thursday, January 24, 2019
Camping
Two Old Newfies go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer.
After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they've forgotten a bottle opener.
The first Newfie turns to the second and says, "You've gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer."
"No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food."
"I promise I won't," says the Newfie. "Just hurry!"
Nine full days pass and there's still no sign of the second Newfie. Exasperated and starving, the first Newfie digs into the sandwiches.
Suddenly, the second Newfie pops out from behind a rock and yells, "I knew it! I'm not friggin' going!!!!"
After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they've forgotten a bottle opener.
The first Newfie turns to the second and says, "You've gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer."
"No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food."
"I promise I won't," says the Newfie. "Just hurry!"
Nine full days pass and there's still no sign of the second Newfie. Exasperated and starving, the first Newfie digs into the sandwiches.
Suddenly, the second Newfie pops out from behind a rock and yells, "I knew it! I'm not friggin' going!!!!"
Angel Wisdom
Don't be so busy adding up your troubles
that you forget to count your blessings.
The smallest deed done is
greater than the best of intentions.
Love is a language that can be heard
by the deaf and seen by the blind.
A house is made of wooden beams.
A home is made of love and dreams.
To be a good friend open your ears
and heart more often than your mouth.
People don't care how much you know
until they know how much you care.
Have A Beautiful Day!
24 Things YOU WILL NEVER HEAR in SASKATCHEWAN
24. Regina’s just over that hill.
23. I heard the bonspiel was going to be alcohol free.
22. Duct tape isn't going to fix that.
21. Come to think of it, cancel that beer, I'll have a wine spritzer.
20. We don't keep firearms in this house.
19. Is the seafood fresh?
18. So THAT'S a tractor.
17. Perogies...is that Italian?
16. Why would we need beer? I thought we were just going fishing ...hunting, curling, across the street?
15. Who's Tommy Douglas?
14. So a Co-op's a store? Is there one in this town?
13. Too many’ deer heads detract from the décor.
12. Could you help me draw this Sask. map? I know the top and bottom are just straight lines, but what about the sides?
11. And over here is our line of tofu meat products.
10. Why would you need a big truck like that?
9. Sorry, we don't carry Pilsner ..
8. Are you going to miss the tractor pull contest in Saskatoon?
7. I don't think the Roughriders have a chance this year.
6. Could I please be served in French?
5. I just don't feel like Bingo tonight.
4. I don't have a favorite farm equipment brand.
3. It's just over that hill and around the bend in the road.
2. Shouldn't we put the beer in the trunk instead of up front?
1. Nope, no more for me, I'm snowmobiling home.
BUT... you will ALWAYS hear
23. I heard the bonspiel was going to be alcohol free.
22. Duct tape isn't going to fix that.
21. Come to think of it, cancel that beer, I'll have a wine spritzer.
20. We don't keep firearms in this house.
19. Is the seafood fresh?
18. So THAT'S a tractor.
17. Perogies...is that Italian?
16. Why would we need beer? I thought we were just going fishing ...hunting, curling, across the street?
15. Who's Tommy Douglas?
14. So a Co-op's a store? Is there one in this town?
13. Too many’ deer heads detract from the décor.
12. Could you help me draw this Sask. map? I know the top and bottom are just straight lines, but what about the sides?
11. And over here is our line of tofu meat products.
10. Why would you need a big truck like that?
9. Sorry, we don't carry Pilsner ..
8. Are you going to miss the tractor pull contest in Saskatoon?
7. I don't think the Roughriders have a chance this year.
6. Could I please be served in French?
5. I just don't feel like Bingo tonight.
4. I don't have a favorite farm equipment brand.
3. It's just over that hill and around the bend in the road.
2. Shouldn't we put the beer in the trunk instead of up front?
1. Nope, no more for me, I'm snowmobiling home.
BUT... you will ALWAYS hear
Let me Google that for you.
1. You bought a wedding gift at the world’s largest shopping mall and you’re heading to the ceremony nearby. What color do you expect the bride to wear?
One way to find the answer:
Go to Google and search [world’s largest shopping mall] to get a mall in Dongguan, China. Search [China bride] or [Chinese wedding dress color] to learn that brides traditionally wear ___.
2. Did your brain’s frontal lobe or temporal lobe have more to do with deciding which movie you’d like to see this evening?
One way to find the answer:
Go to Google and search [frontal lobe] to learn that it’s strongly linked to personality and decision-making for future activities. Search [temporal lobe] to find it’s involved primarily in memory and language functions. So the _______ ____ is where your plan for going to a movie originated and was planned out.
3. How long is the river bordering the two countries that once were home to the Hamangia?
Go to Google and search [Hamangia]. You will find that the Hamangia was a late Neolithic cultural group that once existed in what is now Romania and Bulgaria. Search [river bordering Romania and Bulgaria] or look at the border on Google Maps. You will find the answer is the Danube River, which is about _________ _______ long.
Colo-rectal Surgeon Sing-a-long
Start by downloading the song by clicking here.
Start singing when the song starts!
We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine
Respect the colorectal surgeon
It's a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us
Let's all do the finger wave
When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques
Some spread joy to the world
And others just spread cheeks
Some may think the cardiologist
Is their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows...
He'll get you in the end!
Why the colorectal surgeon?
It's one of those mysterious things.
Is it because in that profession
There are always openings?
When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand;
I said, "Hey nice to meet you
But do you mind? We don't shake hands."
He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz
Oh but he never thought of psychology
Though he read passages
A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play
But this is not quite what he meant...
By eighteen holes a day!
Praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine!
Start singing when the song starts!
We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine
Respect the colorectal surgeon
It's a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us
Let's all do the finger wave
When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques
Some spread joy to the world
And others just spread cheeks
Some may think the cardiologist
Is their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows...
He'll get you in the end!
Why the colorectal surgeon?
It's one of those mysterious things.
Is it because in that profession
There are always openings?
When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand;
I said, "Hey nice to meet you
But do you mind? We don't shake hands."
He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz
Oh but he never thought of psychology
Though he read passages
A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play
But this is not quite what he meant...
By eighteen holes a day!
Praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine!
*Been told it's by Bowser and Blue
Wednesday, January 23, 2019
10 Facts That Will Actually Teach You Something
1. Chocolate milk was invented in Ireland.
2. You can’t breathe and swallow at the same time.
3. The girlfriend of the guy who founded Match.com left him for a man she met on Match.com.
4. This is what it looks like when a star meets a black hole:
2. You can’t breathe and swallow at the same time.
3. The girlfriend of the guy who founded Match.com left him for a man she met on Match.com.
4. This is what it looks like when a star meets a black hole:
5. Ketchup used to be sold as medicine.
6. The oldest person on Earth was born closer to the signing of the United States Constitution than to now.
7. Also, when the oldest person on Earth was born, there was a completely different set of people on the planet.
8. Coconuts kill more people than sharks every year. So do cows.
9. German is the second most spoken language in North Dakota.
10. Norway once knighted a penguin.
Squirrel Tales - A MUST READ!
For about as long as she can remember, Debby Cantlon says, friends and strangers have brought her animals in need. So it wasn't much of a surprise when someone asked her if she'd care for a newborn squirrel found at the base of a tree somewhere near Renton.
Debby Cantlon, who plans to release Finnegan, the young squirrel, back into the wild, bottle-fed the infant squirrel after it was brought to her house. Cantlon, who has cancer, says rescuing injured animals is therapeutic for her.
When Cantlon took in the tiny creature and began caring for him, she found herself with an unlikely nurse's aide: her pregnant Papillon, Mademoiselle Giselle.
Finnegan was resting in a nest in a cage just days before Giselle was due to deliver her puppies.
Cantlon and her husband watched as the dog dragged the squirrel's cage - twice - to her own bedside before she gave birth.
Cantlon was concerned, yet ultimately decided to allow the squirrel out - and the inter-species bonding began.
Finnegan rides a puppy mosh pit of sorts, burrowing in for warmth after feeding, and eventually working his way beneath his new litter mates.
Two days after giving birth, mama dog Giselle allowed Finnegan to nurse; family photos and a videotape show her encouraging him to suckle alongside her litter of five pups.
Now, Finnegan mostly uses a bottle, but still snuggles with his "siblings" in a mosh pit of puppies, rolling atop their bodies and sinking in deeply for a nap.
Finnegan and his new litter mates, five Papillion puppies, get along together as if they were meant to.
Finnegan naps after feeding.
Finnegan makes himself at home with his new litter mates, nuzzling nose-to-nose for a nap after feeding.
Tuesday, January 22, 2019
The Brick
Read this today and don't forget to pass it on, even if you are too busy!! You'll see...
"Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"
THE BRICK
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.
As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts.
A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message:
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.
As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts.
A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message:
God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.
Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!
Send this post to every "beautiful person" you wish to bless.
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!
Send this post to every "beautiful person" you wish to bless.
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
ANYONE WITH KIDS OR GRAND KIDS SHOULD READ THIS.
I am meth. This was written by a young girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to meth. She wrote this while in jail. As you will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet Profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her arm.
Please keep praying. This thing is worse than any of us realize...
Please keep praying. This thing is worse than any of us realize...
I destroy homes, I tear families apart,
I take your children, and that's just the start.
I'm more costly than diamonds, more precious than gold,
The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
If you need me, remember I'm easily found,
I live all around you - in schools and in town
I live with the rich, I live with the poor,
I live down the street, and maybe next door.
I'm made in a lab, but not like you think,
I can be made under the kitchen sink.
In your child's closet, and even in the woods,
If this scares you to death, well it certainly should.
I have many names, but there's one you know best,
I'm sure you've heard of me, my name is crystal meth.
My power is awesome, try me you'll see,
But if you do, you may never break free.
Just try me once and I might let you go,
But try me twice, and I'll own your soul.
When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie,
You do what you have to -- just to get high.
The crimes you'll commit for my narcotic charms
Will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms.
You'll lie to your mother, you'll steal from your dad,
When you see their tears, you should feel sad.
But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised,
I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.
I take kids from parents, and parents from kids,
I turn people from God, and separate friends.
I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride,
I'll be with you always -- right by your side.
You'll give up everything - your family, your home,
Your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.
I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give,
When I'm finished with you, you'll be lucky to live.
If you try me be warned - this is no game,
If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.
I'll ravish your body, I'll control your mind,
I'll own you completely, your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed,
The voices you'll hear, from inside your head.
The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see,
I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.
But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart,
That you are mine, and we shall not part.
You'll regret that you tried me, they always do,
But you came to me, not I to you.
You knew this would happen, many times you were told,
But you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.
You could have said no, and just walked away,
If you could live that day over, now what would you say?
I'll be your master, you will be my slave,
I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.
Now that you have met me, what will you do?
Will you try me or not? It's all up to you.
I can bring you more misery than words can tell,
Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.
The Top Five Smart -A$$ Answers of The Year
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a butcher, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The butcher replied, "No, ma'am, they're dead."
Smart-Ass Answer #4
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
Smart-Ass Answer #3
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads 'Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Smart-Ass Answer #2
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Smart-Ass Answer #1
THE SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
"THE TEACHER"
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, Class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"!
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
The teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you will have to write the exam with your other hand.
I'm Gay - by Cj Curtis
I found this poem on the net and wanted to share it. It was written by CJ Curtis of Austrailia
I once loved one man, he took my only heart
and right there in front of me, he ripped it apart
I know he didn't mean to, and the fault is mine to blame
but the guilt and pain remains all the same
but now I understand, why he ran away
now I understand why he didn't stay
he was afraid to love, and afraid to take a chance
he was afraid to leave and make another stance
he was afraid to make his mark on societies wall
he was afraid to take a leap, as he could fall
he would have rather stayed inside that rotting jail
he rather stay with society, even though I paid bail
he made his mind and stayed with society
even though he had his chance to be free
so now as I sit outside societies dream
I linger like a nightmare, making people scream
they say its just a phase, that I'll get over it soon
they say its a disease, like the werewolf and the moon
but deep down in my heart, I know it isn't so
because I have to be strong, so I can show
people like the one man who threw me in a bin
that no matter how hard they try, we will never give in!
cause what's the point of hurting us? so we can feel bad?
so we can understand what its like to be sad?
well we already know just how it feels
cause it is so hard for us to reveal
that we like the same sex, and who really gives a damn?
goes in the end we all still go all cold and clam
so who cares if I'm gay! I am proud to be
because in my world I take it as a victory
that I can make a choice and stand from the rest
be an individual and try my best
and kids at school may laugh at me and call nasty names
but you know what? it doesn't matter it's all a game!
cause later on in life they will suddenly see
that the reason I was gay, was because it was me
so go on a call out names and raise your heads so high
but remember who I am, just before you die
remember that I was strong and managed to pull through
and remember that if I can do it, then so can you
so today I stand and say that I am proud to be gay
and if I had a choice... I'd have it no other way!
*Original page BestTeenPoems.com
I once loved one man, he took my only heart
and right there in front of me, he ripped it apart
I know he didn't mean to, and the fault is mine to blame
but the guilt and pain remains all the same
but now I understand, why he ran away
now I understand why he didn't stay
he was afraid to love, and afraid to take a chance
he was afraid to leave and make another stance
he was afraid to make his mark on societies wall
he was afraid to take a leap, as he could fall
he would have rather stayed inside that rotting jail
he rather stay with society, even though I paid bail
he made his mind and stayed with society
even though he had his chance to be free
so now as I sit outside societies dream
I linger like a nightmare, making people scream
they say its just a phase, that I'll get over it soon
they say its a disease, like the werewolf and the moon
but deep down in my heart, I know it isn't so
because I have to be strong, so I can show
people like the one man who threw me in a bin
that no matter how hard they try, we will never give in!
cause what's the point of hurting us? so we can feel bad?
so we can understand what its like to be sad?
well we already know just how it feels
cause it is so hard for us to reveal
that we like the same sex, and who really gives a damn?
goes in the end we all still go all cold and clam
so who cares if I'm gay! I am proud to be
because in my world I take it as a victory
that I can make a choice and stand from the rest
be an individual and try my best
and kids at school may laugh at me and call nasty names
but you know what? it doesn't matter it's all a game!
cause later on in life they will suddenly see
that the reason I was gay, was because it was me
so go on a call out names and raise your heads so high
but remember who I am, just before you die
remember that I was strong and managed to pull through
and remember that if I can do it, then so can you
so today I stand and say that I am proud to be gay
and if I had a choice... I'd have it no other way!
*Original page BestTeenPoems.com
Day of the Dog
by Walter W.
It was your average Tuesday. Well, not exactly average. What ended up happening altered the course of human history as we know it, so one could hardly call it average. It was seemingly an ordinary day, and no one could have predicted or expected what was to take place, but started off in the usual way, nonetheless.
The dogs played dumb. Going-for-walks, sitting around at home, and greeting their masters, business as usual and no one was the wiser. The whole thing, it was later surmised, must have been planned, or in the makings of, for months. But the dogs, gave no sign of what was to come and led their lives in the most usual fashion.
Manny was a chief. He was a Shih-Tzu, barely 2 years old and typically adorable. He often wore a sly little smirk on his snout, but one had to look closely to see this, because his moppish hair obscured the fact. He was chosen for his intelligence. Being a Shih-Tzu, he was naturally intelligent but even among Shih-Tzus, Manny stood out.
Manny wept.
Once more, he was home all alone. His family had left for the day and he was by himself. The round edges of his little Shih-tzu's eyes welled up with tears. He crawled under the bed and cried.
Every day it was the same. The kids, off to school, sometimes remembered to give Manny a pat on the head goodbye. But more often than not, they just ran out the door. Bobby always remembered to give Manny fresh water, but usually if the kibble was there or not finished, he would not give any more. For hours on end, Manny drifted in and out of consciousness and tried hard to daydream. He would try to remember the fun he and Bobby had when they would go to the park together, before Bobby started high school.
No one knew that dogs could communicate with each other telepathically. No human, that is. Sure, a dog and its master could become very close and seem to read each other's minds at times, but dogs communicating with each other? For something of this scale to take place, animal telepathy and a general remorseful discontent with humans was most necessary.
Sheila was a Border Collie, seven years old, light brown and white and quite beautiful. She belonged to Leo Bettancourt, a financial trader who never could pay Sheila the full attention she deserved.
"I don't care. I need it before next week. I need it yesterday, you understand?" Sheila watched him with disappointed eyes, head on paws, as Leo yelped into the phone.
"I can't believe we're doing this," Sheila thought.
"Don't worry, this has to be done," Manny responded.
10:47 AM.
Rodney was a Black Labrador, a bit on in years at eleven and had something of a bad back. He belonged to Nina Bradley, a masseusse who lived on 51st and Broadway whose hours were flexible and fees were exorbitant. Rodney was in the middle of breakfast at 10:48 AM when he suddenly stopped, looked quickly over his left shoulder and went back to his meal.
I told those two to wait. If all goes well, I'll never have to eat Alpo again, Rodney thought to himself.
The walk-out was going to happen.
The dogs had a hierarchy. They needed organization for this to work and a system of classes and governing was necessary. There were 1 or 2 masterminds, a bunch of chiefs, and all the other dogs were followers. It was believed that the original idea came from the masterminds. Where they got it, no one knows.
No more tears, Manny thought to himself. The time is now. Manny got himself together and readied groups of dogs. Manny climbed into the dumbwaiter of the second story house and the weight of his little body sent it plunging. He jumped out and began to run. His impish face took a devilish wry countenance. No one noticed him. Because it was a business day, and after all he was just a little dog.
Sheila let out a barely audible whine and paced the narrow hallway of Leo's apartment a couple of times. "What is it girl, what's wrong?", said Leo.
I'm about to leave you, you damn fool, and I don't know if I can do it, Sheila thought. Leo stroked Sheila's neck, condescendingly.
Dogs began to leave. At first, in the first few minutes, the humans could not figure out what was happening. It was organized confusion. Dogs from all walks of life, houses and homes, apartments alike bolted from their owners. A door was open, a window ajar and BANG, the dog was gone.
Packs and packs of dogs gathered together between shrubbery in Central Park. Hundreds upon hundreds of dogs. By 11:15 AM, the humans got scared. Very scared.
"Sorry I'm late", said Manny.
"It's okay. We're early".
Manny and the other chiefs, mostly toy dogs, gathered togeth
er in a circle. It was your average Tuesday. Well, not exactly average. What ended up happening altered the course of human history as we know it, so one could hardly call it average. It was seemingly an ordinary day, and no one could have predicted or expected what was to take place, but started off in the usual way, nonetheless.
The dogs played dumb. Going-for-walks, sitting around at home, and greeting their masters, business as usual and no one was the wiser. The whole thing, it was later surmised, must have been planned, or in the makings of, for months. But the dogs, gave no sign of what was to come and led their lives in the most usual fashion.
Manny was a chief. He was a Shih-Tzu, barely 2 years old and typically adorable. He often wore a sly little smirk on his snout, but one had to look closely to see this, because his moppish hair obscured the fact. He was chosen for his intelligence. Being a Shih-Tzu, he was naturally intelligent but even among Shih-Tzus, Manny stood out.
Manny wept.
Once more, he was home all alone. His family had left for the day and he was by himself. The round edges of his little Shih-tzu's eyes welled up with tears. He crawled under the bed and cried.
Every day it was the same. The kids, off to school, sometimes remembered to give Manny a pat on the head goodbye. But more often than not, they just ran out the door. Bobby always remembered to give Manny fresh water, but usually if the kibble was there or not finished, he would not give any more. For hours on end, Manny drifted in and out of consciousness and tried hard to daydream. He would try to remember the fun he and Bobby had when they would go to the park together, before Bobby started high school.
No one knew that dogs could communicate with each other telepathically. No human, that is. Sure, a dog and its master could become very close and seem to read each other's minds at times, but dogs communicating with each other? For something of this scale to take place, animal telepathy and a general remorseful discontent with humans was most necessary.
Sheila was a Border Collie, seven years old, light brown and white and quite beautiful. She belonged to Leo Bettancourt, a financial trader who never could pay Sheila the full attention she deserved.
"I don't care. I need it before next week. I need it yesterday, you understand?" Sheila watched him with disappointed eyes, head on paws, as Leo yelped into the phone.
"I can't believe we're doing this," Sheila thought.
"Don't worry, this has to be done," Manny responded.
10:47 AM.
Rodney was a Black Labrador, a bit on in years at eleven and had something of a bad back. He belonged to Nina Bradley, a masseusse who lived on 51st and Broadway whose hours were flexible and fees were exorbitant. Rodney was in the middle of breakfast at 10:48 AM when he suddenly stopped, looked quickly over his left shoulder and went back to his meal.
I told those two to wait. If all goes well, I'll never have to eat Alpo again, Rodney thought to himself.
The walk-out was going to happen.
The dogs had a hierarchy. They needed organization for this to work and a system of classes and governing was necessary. There were 1 or 2 masterminds, a bunch of chiefs, and all the other dogs were followers. It was believed that the original idea came from the masterminds. Where they got it, no one knows.
No more tears, Manny thought to himself. The time is now. Manny got himself together and readied groups of dogs. Manny climbed into the dumbwaiter of the second story house and the weight of his little body sent it plunging. He jumped out and began to run. His impish face took a devilish wry countenance. No one noticed him. Because it was a business day, and after all he was just a little dog.
Sheila let out a barely audible whine and paced the narrow hallway of Leo's apartment a couple of times. "What is it girl, what's wrong?", said Leo.
I'm about to leave you, you damn fool, and I don't know if I can do it, Sheila thought. Leo stroked Sheila's neck, condescendingly.
Dogs began to leave. At first, in the first few minutes, the humans could not figure out what was happening. It was organized confusion. Dogs from all walks of life, houses and homes, apartments alike bolted from their owners. A door was open, a window ajar and BANG, the dog was gone.
Packs and packs of dogs gathered together between shrubbery in Central Park. Hundreds upon hundreds of dogs. By 11:15 AM, the humans got scared. Very scared.
"Sorry I'm late", said Manny.
"It's okay. We're early".
Manny and the other chiefs, mostly toy dogs, gathered togeth
"Is it done? Did we really do it?"
"Yes. Every dog in New York City is here and accounted for. Every puppy, pound throwaway and lab specimen is present and saved. We're all here."
The dogs marveled at their own achievement. They sat for a few minutes, taking it all in.
"Then victory is ours. After all these years, victory is ours", said Rodney, belly still full of unwanted food.
"Well, then, let us bid this Earth farewell, shall we?", said an oversized Yorkie with remarkably regal features.
"Yes", said the dogs, en masse.
The crafts began to land.
And slowly, the dogs boarded, one by one
Monday, January 21, 2019
Lego Church
It amazes me that there is always someone in the world that has so much
time on their hands! It still makes you wonder how many millions of
Legos it took.
I have included this last one to show you the size.
For more images, click on this link: http://www.amyhughes.org/lego/church/index.html
time on their hands! It still makes you wonder how many millions of
Legos it took.
I have included this last one to show you the size.
For more images, click on this link: http://www.amyhughes.org/lego/church/index.html
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