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Welcome to 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow!! Posting is at 10AM, Noon and 2PM CST daily. Up to 12 days of posts on the main page. The archives have more. You can forward posts by clicking on the envelope at the bottom of the post. Enjoy your stay! *** If you need to contact me, or have a copyright issue, please use the "Contact The Wizard" form on the left side of 'OZ'. Original source and author is cited and credited in each post where possible. ***
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Learn Something About Bears' smell
Friday, January 20, 2012
UNTIL . . .
Until we're considered equal, and not simply 'tolerated'.
Until our youth aren't forced to leave home for the streets.
Until our partners are welcome at all family, social and workplace events.
Until the police are there to protect us not harass us.
Until sex trade workers are not seen as criminals.
Until our children see our families reflected in school curriculum and story books.
Until our differences and our cultures are celebrated not denied.
Until it's safe to come out at work.
Until it's safe to come out at school.
(click above to download the pamplet. It's a PDF and requires Adobe Reader.)
Until hospitals, banks, travel agents, and insurance companies see us as people not problems or profits.
Until we're not stereotyped into certain jobs or denied others.
Until parents aren't freaked out by having lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender children.
Until we don't have to justify, explain and expose our private lives.
Until harassment at work stops.
Until our streets are safe for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people.
Until religions open their doors to our celebrations and expressions of faith.
Until we can express our gender without fear of reprisal or ridicule.
Until gender stereotyping stops and we are all free to be wholly human.
Until the cure for homophobia is discovered.
Until we can love and be loved, with joy and gay abandon.
EGG-ZACTLY!
What's the top-selling pop? It's a Coke. What's a rip-roaring quip? It's a joke. What do ya do with cigarettes? Ya smoke. So quickly, I beg: What's the white of an egg called? It's albumen. (I bet you said yolk. hehe)
Q: Who is Snow White's brother? A: Egg White. Get the yolk?
Q: If a rooster laid a brown egg and a white egg, what kind of chicks would hatch? A: None. Roosters Don't Lay Eggs!
A Chicken and an Egg were lying in bed one night. The chicken smoking a cigarette with a smug grin on its face, the egg looking thoroughly ticked off. The egg looks at the chicken and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"
So you think your life is bad. Just think how bad the life of the egg is... You only get laid once! You only get eaten once! It takes 4 minutes to get hard 2 minutes to get soft You have to share a box with 11 other guys And the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. (Now don't you feel better)
Q. How did the eggs leave the highway? A. They went through the "Eggs-it".
Q. What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much? A. He cracked up.
Q. Why couldn't the eggs go out on a hot summer day? A. They were afraid they would fry!
Q. What did the egg say to the clown? A. You crack me up!
Q. What part did the egg play in the movies? A. He was an "Egg-stra".
Q. What do you call a sleeping egg? A. Egg-zosted!
Q. What did the eggs do when the light turned green? A. They egg-cellerated.
Q. Why couldn't the egg family watch T.V.? A. Because their cable was scrambled.
Q. Why was the father egg so strict? A. He was hard-boiled.
Welcome to the "Natural" State...
The State of Arkansas, anticipating a higher than usual tourist season, has unveiled their newest roadside facilities. The Board of Tourism also states that if you're pee-shy you should wear your sunglasses so that we won't know who you are. They also urge you to bring your own TP...
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| LOL |
Thursday, January 19, 2012
New drug may keep you sober no matter how much you've had to drink
Chinese tree extract has long been used as a hangover cure. Now it is being turned into a 'sobriety pill' that could cure alcoholism.
by Bryan Nelson, Mother nature Network
Imagine a pill that could instantly sober you up no matter how much you've had to drink, or a hangover cure that worked minutes after swallowing it. Hardened drinkers rejoice: researchers are about to begin human trials on an "alcohol antidote" that may soon offer a cure to alcoholism, reports New Scientist.
The drug is a chemical called dihydromyricetin, or DHM, and is derived from a Chinese variety of the oriental raisin tree, which has been used for at least 500 years in China as an effective hangover cure. So far the extract has only been tested on boozing rats, but with promising results. --more--
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
" WALK With Me as I Age"
"-- well worth the read... "
A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLDER:
fuck..I forgot the words...
Giggles, Gaffaws and Groaners...
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students: "The female dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. The second time you will be fined $60. A third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?" A male student inquired, "How much for a season pass?"
His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV, adds, just to make conversation.
Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?”
“A box of Tampax,” he replied without hesitation.
“Tampax?” said the doctor. “What would you do with that?”
“Well,” said Johnny, “I do not know exactly, but it’s sure worth two dollars. With tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to.”
Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three very large, leathered bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter.
The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and then he too took a seat at the counter.
The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter. Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner.
Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"
The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either, he just backed his big-rig over three motorcycles."
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."
Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is 24 hours a day/seven days a week? A: A widow.
A salesman telephone a household, and a four-year-old answered.
Salesman: May I speak to your mother?
Child: She is not here.
Salesman: Well, is anyone else there?
Child: My sister
Salesman: O.K., fine. May I speak to her?
Child: I guess so. There was a long silence on the other phone.
Then: Child: Hello?
Salesman: It’s you. I thought you were going to call your sister. Child: I did. The trouble is: I can’t get her out of the playpen.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
New Stadium in Saskatchewan
Proposed Saskatchewan Roughriders
STADIUM with a
RETRACTABLE ROOF
Who says I don't have a sense of humour!
The Millionaire
Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and asks for an immediate loan of $5,000.
The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral.
"Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man says.
The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping and gives the man the $5,000.
Two weeks later, the man walks through the bank's doors and asks to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer says.
The man writes out a check and starts to walk away. "Wait, sir," the loan officer says. "You are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"
The man smiles, "Where else could I find a safer place to park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"
Why Some Men Have Dogs and Not Wives
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but not least:
14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
To test this theory:
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who's happy to see you.
*Thanks, DW
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but not least:
14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
To test this theory:
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who's happy to see you.
*Thanks, DW
Quotes
"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives." - -- Admiral William Leahy , US Atomic Bomb Project
"There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom." -- Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." --The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
"But what is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us," -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.
"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" -- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible," -- A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper," --Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."
"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make," -- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out," -- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible," -- Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.
"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this," -- Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.
"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy," -- Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.
"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." -- Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University , 1929.
"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value," -- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre , France .
"Everything that can be invented has been invented," -- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899.
"The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by the number of vacuum tubes required." -- Professor of Electrical Engineering, New York University
"I don't know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn't be a feasible business by itself." -- the head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox.
"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction." -- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse , 1872
"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon," -- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873.
And last but not least...
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
*Thanks, GlenMonday, January 16, 2012
Fish Shop...
A woman goes into a Bass Pro shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
"Ma'am, I'm completely blind, but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes." She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
"That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all-around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card." She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. "That'll be $49.50 please, ma'am."
"Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get to $49.50?"
"The rod and reel is $20.00, ma'am, but the duck call is $11.00 and the bear spray $18.50."
*Thanks, DwightCookies
Well, the Church removed my cookies from
the bake sale..... again.
I don't know what their problem is - I just used a dog bone cookie cutter...
Then cut them in half and decorated them!! I thought they looked rather cute!!
Stupid Is As Stupid Says...
“We take the dangers of alcohol seriously,” said Spangler. “It’s better to nip it in the butt sooner than later.”
--from the Daily Nebraskan
Sunday, January 15, 2012
AMAZING ONE WORD RIDDLE
Never in a million years would I have come up with the answer.
What if this was the only question on the exam paper to pass your English Exam. Would you pass?
What nine letter word in the English language is still a word when eight Letters are removed one by one?
Take a few minutes to try and come up with a nine letter word that fits The bill, then watch the attached video...
Well, just watch the video. Because you're never going to figure it out.
What if this was the only question on the exam paper to pass your English Exam. Would you pass?
What nine letter word in the English language is still a word when eight Letters are removed one by one?
Take a few minutes to try and come up with a nine letter word that fits The bill, then watch the attached video...
Well, just watch the video. Because you're never going to figure it out.
*Thanks, Dwight
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