Doctors are human after all

Embarrassing Medical Exams

1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .' My wife's going to have her baby in the cab !' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, Lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark Mac Donald, San Francisco


2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. ' Big
breaths,'. I instructed. ' Yes, they used to be,'. . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA


3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a Wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a ' massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg


4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. ' Which one ?'. . . I asked.

'The patch . . . the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it! 'I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA


5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked. ' How long have you been bedridden ?' After a look of complete confusion she answered .. . .' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis , OR


6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . ..' So how's your breakfast this
morning?'


'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste.'. . . Bob replied.


I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI


7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said ' Sorry . . .had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by RN no name


AND FINALLY ! ! ! . . .. . . . . .. . . . . . . . .


8. As a new, young MD doing my residency in OB , I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams.. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said 'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you ?'
She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard. ...' No doctor, but the song you were whistling was . . .' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'

Dr. wouldn't submit his name

*Thanks, Daryn

The Streamy Awards - Vote Now!

About the Streamys

The Streamy Awards is co-hosted by a consortium of leading new media companies — Tilzy.TV, Tubefilter, and NewTeeVee — to recognize outstanding achievement for shows produced originally for broadband distribution.

Nominations in 24 categories are reviewed by members of the International Academy of Web Television, an independent organization whose membership is comprised of leaders in the field of web television, web video and the digital entertainment industry. Every year the Academy also selects one recipient the for Web Television Visionary Award. Each spring, the nominees, the press, industry luminaries, celebrity guests, and members of the academy, come together at the Streamy Awards in Los Angeles to celebrate and honor outstanding achievement in the space. Join them this year on March 28, 2009.

The Official Streamy Awards Nominees

Vote now!

For the latest updates follow them on Twitter, and join our Facebook Group.

Are You Kathlick?

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.

They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday School

So they went to the nearest Church.  But, only the Janitor was there .

One little boy said,  'We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?'

'Sure,' said the Janitor.

He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time.

Then He said, 'You are now baptized!'

When they got outside, one of them asked, 'What religion do you think we are?'

The oldest one said,  'We're not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you.'

'We're not Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water.'

'We're not Lutrans , because they just sprinkle water on you.'

The littlest one said, 'Didn't you smell that water?!'

They all joined in asking,

'Yeah! What do you think that means?'



'I think it means we're Pisspoterians.

*Thanks, Danielle

TABLETOP COMPUTER

Surface Computing

Corvino: Why not plural marriage?

By John Corvino, columnist, 365gay.com

Recent discussions of various civil-union proposals have revived some familiar questions, including “Why limit such recognition to couples, as opposed to larger groups?” and “Why limit it to romantic/sexual couples, as opposed to other interdependent relationships?”

Such questions come from various quarters, including both friends and foes of marriage equality. Although they’re sometimes offered as “gotcha” challenges, they deserve serious reflection.

I was mulling them over recently when two events occurred that hinted at an answer.

The first was a phone call from my home-security monitoring company about a false alarm I triggered with smoke from a minor kitchen disaster.

“While we have you on the phone,” the operator suggested, “can we update your emergency numbers?”

“Sure,” I said, remembering that some of my listed neighbors had eliminated their land lines.

After going through the numbers, she said, “So, you’ve given me your community patrol number, and numbers for Scott, Sarah, and Mike—all neighbors. But this Mark person—what’s your relationship to him?”

“He’s my partner.”

“Um, roommate?”

“No,” I replied, “partner.”

“I don’t have a box for ‘partner,’” she retorted. “I have a box for ‘roommate.’”

“Fine,” I said, “roommate.” Then I hastily hung up and returned to the kitchen, since I didn’t want my “roommate” to come home to a burned dinner. (Later, I regretted not asking for, and insisting on, the box for “husband.”)

The second event occurred not long afterward, when my high school called asking for a donation for their “Torch Fund” endowment.

Some background: I attended Chaminade, an all-boys Catholic prep school on Long Island. For years I notified them of my various milestones for their newsletter, and for years they declined to publish anything gay-related—publications, awards, whatever—despite their regular listings of the most insipid details of my classmates’ lives.

So now, whenever they ask me for money, I politely tell them where they can stick their Torch. I did so again this time.

“I understand,” the caller replied. “But while I have you on the phone, let me update your records…”

Here we go again, I thought.

Eventually she came to, “Any update in your marital status? Can we list a spouse?”

“Well, you CAN,” I responded testily, “but I suspect you won’t. My spouse’s name is Mark.”

“Why not?” she replied, seeming unfazed. “And his last name?”

I doubt his listing will stand long. But what interested me was this: here was someone representing my conservative high school, and she had a box—in her mind, anyway—for my same-sex spouse.

For all I know, she might be a paid solicitor with no other connection to the school. But she illustrates a significant cultural shift toward recognizing the reality of gay and lesbian lives.

The reality is this: like our straight counterparts, we tend to fall in love, pair off and settle down. It’s not for everyone, but it’s a significant enough pattern to merit acknowledgement.

And that’s at least the germ of an answer to the questions raised above.

Why do we give special legal recognition to romantic pair-bonds? We do so because they’re a significant—and very common—human category, for straights and gays alike. They benefit individuals and society in palpable ways—ways that, on average, “roommates” and most other groupings can’t match.

To put it simply, we recognize them because it makes sense for the law to recognize common and valuable ways that people organize their lives.

Of course, there are other significant human relationships. Some of these, like blood ties, the law already acknowledges. Others (like polygamy) pose serious social costs.

Still others may deserve more legal recognition than they currently receive, or may be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. (I doubt that we need to change marriage or civil-union law to accommodate unrelated cohabitating spinsters, for example.)

But none of these other unrecognized relationships holds a candle to same-sex pair-bonds when it comes to widespread mismatch between the social reality and the legal recognition.

Which brings me back to Mark. Mark is not just some dude I share expenses with. He’s the person I’ve committed my life to, for better or for worse, ’til death do us part. We exchanged such vows publicly, although the law still views us as strangers.

In short, he is—whether the law or our home-security company recognizes it—my spouse.

We fall in love, we pair off, we build lives together. The law may be a blunt instrument, but it need not be so blunt as to call that “roommates.”

John Corvino, Ph.D. is an author, speaker, and philosophy professor at Wayne State University in Detroit. His column “The Gay Moralist” appears Fridays on 365gay.com.

For more about John Corvino, or to see clips from his “What’s Morally Wrong with Homosexuality?” DVD, visit www.johncorvino.com.

The Chronicles of Mac; The Leopard, The Wizard and The G4 Day 4

Saskatchewan

Saskatoon, SK

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through
18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

If you're proud that your province makes the
National news 96 nights
Each year because Saskatoon is the coldest spot in the nation,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy",
You might live in Saskatchewan.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the
Middle of his forehead,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

If you know how to say....Wanuskewin, Manitou,Qu'appelle, Valparaiso, Waskesiu, Saskatoon
You might live in Saskatchewan.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

If vacation means going "up north" for the weekend,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

You measure distance in hours,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

You know several people, who have hit deer more than once,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

You install security lights on your house and garage and
Leave both unlocked,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and Venison,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

You carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows
How to use them,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at any given time,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
Snowsuit,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter,
And of course, road construction,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

Your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next
To your blue spruce,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

If "Down South" to you means Regina,
You might live in Saskatchewan.

You find -20 degrees "a little chilly",
You might
Live in Saskatchewan.

You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Saskatchewanian friends,
You DO live in Saskatchewan...

click below:
100 reasons to celebrate Saskatchewan

*Thanks, Darcene

Snopes.com

A story of www.snopes.com from the April 2009 Readers Digest!

Check every email you receive that may possibly be untrue at Snopes before you pass it on! Good advice? You bet! Thanks, Erwin!

See the article at Rumor Detectives

Never Leave Your Child Unattended With Your Dog

If you are an owner of a dog and you also have a small child please take this as a warning.

Don't leave your dog with the child unattended.

Only a little moment was enough for the following to happen;

*Thanks, DW!

The Chronicles of Mac; The Leopard, The Wizard and The G4Day 3

So today is day 3 - actually day 2 if you are really picky. In any case here is what's new in my Mac World...

Added myself as an admin - and deleted the old admin (remember this was used...)

I had 2 external USB hard disks for my Windows PC - almost a terabyte in total - the Mac mini has just a 40GB Ultra ATA drive so thought I would put my 250 GB external on the Mac. Wondered what would happen - so I moved all the data to my PC external drive, plugged the drive into my last USB port and Voila, my Mac identified it right away (NTFS) and because the OS is Leopard, immediately asked me if I wanted to make this drive my "Time Machine" drive.

I clicked yes and after very few mouse clicks, the drive was 'erased' (formatted to HFS - a Mac file system) - then automatically ran the Time Machine. Looked at the results and now I have several images to choose from - seems more straight forward than the dubious "System Restore" from Windows.

Checked out iTunes... and seems like a good program thus far - but DRM (so i have heard) may affect what I can play with iTunes - oh, and I composed a little ditty on a grand piano in "Garage Band" - What a hoot that is! I can see that I will be spending some time in the garage in the future.

Today is Earth Hour™ 2009!!

Today is the day!




Make sure you remember to turn out your lights tonight (Saturday, the 28th) at 8:30 p.m. for Earth Hour! People around the world will be joining together to turn out their lights for Earth Hour, sending a very strong message that we need to do more to fight climate change.

Make your voice be heard - sign up at:

EarthHourCanada.org!

For some last minute ideas on how to make Earth Hour truly memorable check out our top 25 suggestions for things to do for Earth Hour 2009!

Sign up for Earth Hour Saturday, March 28th 8:30 pm - 9:30 pm

Earth Hour in the Virtual World

Join us online on Saturday and follow WWF staff as they prepare for and then participate in various lights-out events across the country! We will be blogging and Twittering the whole day long!

Earth Hour around the world

Earth Hour is taking place around the world on March 28 at 8:30 p.m. local time. This means many countries such as Australia, Thailand, Germany and Ireland will be celebrating before us. View images and videos from their lights-out events and then get ready to show the rest of the world how committed Canadians are to fight climate change.

SMART ASS ANSWERS!

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: 'Low Bridge Ahead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'

THE BEST SMART ASS ANSWER!
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

*Thanks, DW

TV Producers Running Out Of Types Of People To Have Dance With Each Other

LOS ANGELES—Frustrated TV producers announced Monday that they have nearly exhausted every combination of people that can be made to dance with each other in televised competition.

'We've had professional dancers performing with everyone from movie stars to former NFL players to people from other reality shows, and we've had amateurs who thought they could dance but more often than not discovered otherwise,' producer David Celino said. 'Take any kind of person you can imagine, and I guarantee we've had them dancing on TV. We're running out of options here, and we're desperate. Help.'

Celino said that television producers were exploring several new variations on dance-based reality programming, including one show in which naked people are filmed having sex with each other.

*The Onion

News From Bangor Maine...

Every Saturday in April, SCREAM celebrates the insanely prolific and acclaimed horror writer Stephen King with a slew of movies and series based on his books. The movie line-ups begin every Saturday at 7pm, and include the premiere of Misery, for which Kathy Bates won both a Golden Globe® and an Oscar® for her role as novelist Paul Sheldon's (James Caan) number one fan; and Needful Things starring Ed Harris and Max von Sydow.

Saturday, April 4:
THINNER (1996) @ 7pm ET
NEEDFUL THINGS (1993) @ 9pm ET *SCREAM PREMIERE*
DEAD ZONE (1983) @ 11:35pm ET



Saturday, April 11:
GRAVEYARD SHIFT (1990) @ 7pm ET
PET SEMATARY (1989) @ 9pm ET
PET SEMATARY 2 (1992) @ 11:10pm ET



Saturday, April 18:
SILVER BULLET (1985) @ 7pm ET
CREEPSHOW (1982) @ 9pm ET
CHRISTINE (1983) @ 11:35pm ET



Saturday, April 25:
CUJO (1983) @ 7pm ET
MISERY (1990) @ 9pm ET *SCREAM PREMIERE*
THE DARK HALF (1983) @ 11:20pm ET

Capping the King-fest, each Saturday in April also features a King-based miniseries in its entirety from 10 am to 6 pm, with The Golden Years on April 4, The Tommyknockers on April 11, The Stand on April 18 and The Langoliers on April 25.


Check the schedule for full details.

What's with those MAC folks anyways????The Chronicles of Mac; The Leopard, The Wizard and The G4

so what IS up with those Apple users anyway? I mean, everyone I talk to suggest that their Mac thingies are superior to my Windows thingy... so... to see what is up with it, The Wizard has bought a Mac - a real Mac, mind you and not a "x86" Mac - No sir-ee... this bad puppy is a Mac mini G4 - packed with a 1.25GHz G4 Processor, 1 GB RAM, built in 32 MB video (I think), and a combo DVD, CDRW drive. Oh, and I am running something called "OSX" Leopard... What's with all the cats, Steve?

Anywho, this post was done in Safari on the mighty Mac mini. I will keep you posted and perhaps by actually using one of these Mac things, I will come to appreciate why folks will pay a premium to use a Mac rather than save some $ and buy a PC - I can see it now.. here I am - sitting here and thinking to myself... I'm a Mac." and"I'm a PC." Hey! I got a split personality!

Oh, and just so you know I am speaking the truth, here is my first attempt at a screenshot of my OS Stamp (that's what it's called isn't it????)

Stay tuned. same Mac time -- same Mac channel!

Wolfe's Den Vlog: Windows 7 Deep Dive

Wolfe's Den Vlog: Windows 7 Deep Dive

A look at the features of Microsoft's upcoming Windows 7 operating system, with commentary from InformationWeek's Alex Wolfe and a peek at a couple of Microsoft tech videos. Click above.

Well Said...

St. Andrew's College becomes an Affirming Ministry

(Saskatoon, SK) As a college, St. Andrew's has been committed to a long process of involving the Faculty, Students, Staff, Alumni/ae, Academic Committee, Board and friends in study, worship and discussion in order to be declared an Affirming Ministry of The United Church of Canada.

In May 2008 the Board agreed that they should ask Affirm United of The United Church of Canada declare St. Andrews College an Affirming Ministry. Affirm United declared St. Andrew's College an Affirming Ministry on February 7, 2009.

On March 24th, 2009, they committed themselves to continue efforts to self-examination and reflection as individuals and as a community to these important issues.

St. Andrews College Mission Statement

St. Andrew's College, a theological school of The United Church of Canada, seeks to proclaim and embody Jesus Christ's message of compassion, justice and hope in a radically inclusive way by working in a prairie context, in partnership with others, to prepare persons for Christian leadership, ordered and lay.

Welcome, St. Andrew's!

Looking for Computer Engineers

10+ phrases that can be irritating or offensive

from Tech Republic:

1: Calm down / get a grip / chill [out] / take a chill pill / relax

These phrases, when said to an upset person, are intended to make the person less upset. Unfortunately, they usually have the opposite effect, like that of throwing gasoline instead of water onto a fire. You’re probably going to make things worse. In all the classes I’ve run on customer service, I have heard of exactly one instance in which this phrase worked. Therefore, stay away from it, because the odds are against you.

When people are upset, they usually have to calm down of their own accord. Nothing you can say can make that process faster.

2: What’s the problem? (when taking a help desk call)

This question can sound confrontational. In addition, the other person might think you’re implying that the “problem” is with him or her personally. Better alternatives include, “What’s going on?” or asking specifically about a person’s computer, e.g. “It sounds like your computer has a problem.”

3: Okay? (at the end of an answer)

As a stand-alone answer, “Okay” is okay. Your co-worker says, “I’ll be back in 10 minutes,” and you answer “Okay.” Or someone falls in the parking lot, and you run over and ask, “Are you okay?” That’s okay as well. On the other hand, a problem potentially arises when you’re answering a question such as, “When will the patch be available?” If you answer, “It will be ready by Thursday afternoon, okay?” it could strike people as an impatient answer. In general, try to avoid appending that “okay” to your statements or questions. I realize it’s common in parts of the United States, but it can be taken the wrong way. Dropping it takes nothing away from your previous statement. It still will be okay.

4: That’s not my job

This one is tricky. We all have multiple responsibilities and heavy workloads. Yet we need to be careful about giving the impression that we’re passing the buck.

If you’re asked to do something that you know is someone else’s responsibility, say so positively, for example, “That is xxx’s responsibility.” Granted, you still run the risk of appearing to pass the buck. But you can do something else to be helpful. Explain where to find the right person or provide the correct phone number. In other words, still try to impart value.

5: What’s up? / What can I do for you?

These phrases are great if you’re trying to get work done, and a visitor stops at your cubicle. The phrases are polite but still carry the message of, “Please get to the point, because I’m busy.” But if you do use these phrases, make sure that really is your situation. If you use them in other circumstances, it might be taken the wrong way.

6: Do you hear me?

If you’re really interested in whether someone has heard and understood you on a particular matter, this phrase is the wrong one to use. That person could interpret the phrase as an implication that the two of you disagree on the matter or that you’re aggravated with him or her. If that’s not the case, you may have unnecessarily created a problem or alienated the person. Alternatives might include “Are we okay on that?” or “How clear was I?” or “I hope that was clear.”

7: You don’t understand / you’re confused

I always used to wonder why Professor Woodward, in my contracts class, would say, “That’s an interesting way of looking at it” or “I never thought of it that way.” Then I realized he was really saying, “What an idiotic statement” but was too polite to say so out loud.

Even if the other person is confused, saying so usually doesn’t help things. Better, therefore, to focus on the issue rather than the person. Consider saying instead, “I’d like to make sure everyone is clear on this” or, “I sense some confusion here.”

8: He / she (third-person references in the person’s presence)

Dale Carnegie once said that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest sound in the world. Failing to use it can cause a problem. Let’s say John, your co-worker, comes to you to discuss a matter, during which time, he asks a question you can’t answer. You call in Sue, and when Sue arrives, you say to her in John’s presence, “He wants to know the answer to…” Your failure to use John’s name in this case could offend John. It would be better to simply use his name and say, “John wants to know the answer to…” If you don’t know someone’s name (e.g., the person is a customer, and you need to call your supervisor/boss to come over), simply ask for the name before speaking to your boss. Then, use that name when you do. The other person will be much happier.

9: Mister

If you’re going to use Mister, always follow it with a surname. Using “Mister” by itself is considered rude. If I am addressing a male person whom I don’t know, I will say “Sir.”

10: You didn’t…

Using “you” can make the other person defensive, because it may sound as if you’re being accusatory. Put the focus on the action rather than on the person. Besides, that person might not have been at fault. If you say to a caller, “You didn’t submit a request form,” the statement could cause offense. And if the caller did submit the form, but it’s still in transit, your statement would be wrong. Better to say, “I haven’t received the request form.”

11: Of course

Avoid using this phrase as a synonym for “Yes.” Answering a question with “Of course” carries with it the unspoken follow-on, “you idiot.” A matter that’s obvious to you may not be obvious to the other person.

I can think of only one instance where “Of course” is okay as a substitute for “Yes”: when you’re giving unexpected good news to the other person, and thus the other person will be happy at your answer. So “Of course” or even “But of course” is appropriate as an answer to these questions:

* “The project finished ahead of schedule and under budget?”
* “The problem’s been resolved?”
* “You’re paying for lunch?”

*Techrepublic.com