Throw Away All Your Grudges

As we (continue with) the New Year, it`s a good time to clean out the clutter in our lives. Sure, that means going through and disposing of useless papers and unused stuff, but it also means throwing away old grudges.

It has been said that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. A decision to hold on to a grievance is a decision to suffer. It extends the pain. And in a peculiar way, it gives the wrongdoer a way to hurt us again and again.

It isn`t easy to root out and release deep-seated resentments arising from hurtful words or deeds. Although sometimes we don`t remember the source of the resentment, other times we recall the incident so vividly that it still evokes a fresh torrent of negative emotion. But no matter how justified or self-righteous we feel about our grudges, we`ll be healthier and happier if we get rid of them.

Confucius said, "To be wronged is nothing unless we continue to remember it." A grudge dwells in dark memories, often deliberately revived as if reliving the hurt will somehow punish the person who caused it. In fact, we hurt ourselves far more.

Ideally, we should forgive and forget, but if we`re not ready to forgive, we can forget, or at least repress the temptation to dwell on whatever it was that made us so angry. When we let go of our resentments, we pave the way for forgiveness -- a final act of virtue and mental health.

We also free ourselves from the past so we can live better in the future.

*Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

What Happens in Heaven

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.

My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, "This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received"


I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.

The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them."

I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. "This is the Acknowledgment Section," my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed "How is it that? There's no work going on here?" I asked.

"So sad," the angel sighed. "After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments.

"How does one acknowledge God's blessings?" I asked.

"Simple," the angel answered. "Just say, "Thank you, Lord."

"What blessings should they acknowledge?" I asked.

"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. "If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

"And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity."

Also...

"If you woke up this morning with more health than illness .... You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.

"If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... You are ahead of 700 million people in the world
"If you can attend a church meeting without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.

"If your parents are still alive and still married .. You are very rare.

"If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair."

Ok, what now? How can I start?

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how Blessed we all are.

Celebrity patents unearthed

 

Ironic Sans unearthed no less than 18 bizarre and unusual celebrity patents by entertainment A-lisers not normally renowned for following in the footsteps of Dean Kamen. Obviously our pick for favorite was Eddie Van Halen's "musical instrument support" which makes two handed shredding that much easier (really though, did the patent drawing need to be shirtless too?), although other curiosities include Hedy Lamar's "secret communication system", Jamie Lee Curtis's "infant garment" diaper design, Lawrence Welk's "Welk ash tray", Goerge Lucas's patent on a demonic Yoda toy figure design, Penn Jillette's sexually jilted "hydro-therapeutic stimulator" hot tub (what? possibly NSFW), and perhaps the mostly slyly odd, Michael Jackson's "Method and means for creating anti-gravity illusion".

I highly recommend perusing these patents -- much is to be gained from peering into the minds of the world's greatest celebrity / inventors, whose creations may one day truly touch the lives of the everyman.

Click below:

Ironic Sans

Many faces of Spongebob Squarepants

 

Meanwhile in Canada

A question I ask myself when temperature in Saskatton, SK is -35*C without the windchill

SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM....

 

A lesson

 

Airline Pilot - Dean Martin with Foster Brooks

From The Emerald City

Hey folks, I have a question regarding the text formatting of 'OZ'.

 

I justify all text on 'OZ' because I think it looks more professional and appealing and rather neat. I have been told that this makes it hard to read. So what I am asking is that you make a comment with your opinion on whether or not, 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow is hard to read or not.

Yours,

The Wizard

More Things That Make You Say: "Holy SH*T!!!"

 

TAROT - JUDGEMENT

 

JUDGEMENT

Tarot card number: 20

Element: fire

Planet: Pluto

The Judgment card is often referred to as a time of resurrection and awakening, a time when a phase or period of our life comes to an absolute end making way for dynamic new beginnings.

It may be that a long-term relationship or marriage has had its time and whilst it may feel painful to accept this finality, the Judgment card is saying try and accept that this is a time of fast-moving, positive change and action for you.

Whether it’s the end of a career, a time when your children have flown the nest, or a turn of events that make you wish your life was different, this card represents karmic change and it indicates that bigger and better things are yet to come into your life.

Quite often, fantastic events and opportunities follow sad and difficult challenges and this card can represent any events that may feel like ‘Judgment Day’ has come. Changes that may be indicated upon the appearance of this card can be significant, so this would not be a time for regret and fear but a time for courage and rejoicing in what you have achieved and what you are yet to achieve.

Your life may well pick up a pace when this card appears, so whatever future possibilities are indicated in your reading, these events may happen quite quickly.

If the Judgment card comes up in a reading about legal issues, it is a positive sign that any ruling will be in your favor. However, if this card is surrounded by negative cards, it may indicate legal battles ahead and the possibility of having a ruling made against you.

In general readings, if this card is surrounded by negative cards, it could be that the swift conclusions foretold by the positive aspect of this card may be delayed. This can mean that you are fearful of such significant change and may be ignoring opportunities that may well promise a brighter future.

I also feel that when this card comes up, it’s important to use your own judgment wisely and not to judge yourself too harshly. It is a signal for you to open your heart and mind to accept that all things come to an end and nothing lasts forever, yet for each ending there is always a new beginning.

Embrace such significant and inevitable change and a whole new world of opportunity can unfold for you – the Judgment card is a calling for you to be all that you can be.

  "AnkhIwiEmHotep"
Life and Peace be with You --Cinosam

Bad Parenting

 

In Praise Of "Older" Women

"When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said,

"Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap  apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm  sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you  are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve a mid-life crisis. 

Wavy Wall

 

In England, it is not uncommon to see "wavy" brick walls. Interestingly, the design uses fewer bricks than a straight wall. 

A straight wall that is just one brick thick is not sturdy enough to stand alone & can be easily toppled, so they generally have a thickness of at least two or more layers of bricks, & are also reinforced at regular intervals with vertical posts serving as buttresses. 

But a wavy "one-brick" wall stands just fine on its own due to the arch support provided by its shape, which combines both wall & buttress. Such a structure is called a "crinkle crankle wall" "the Old English version of "zig zag."

Children Writing About The Sea

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly, age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls.
(James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent.
(Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more.
(Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.
(Billy age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.
(William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant?
(Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age 8)

13) On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny.
(Julie age 7)

International Holocaust Remembrance Day

On January 27, 1945, the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp – where more than one million people were sent to gas chambers and to their agonizing deaths during the Holocaust – was liberated. In 2005, that day was designated as the annual International Day of Commemoration in memory of the victims of the Holocaust. Each year, Canadians and individuals all over the world take this opportunity to remember the victims of the atrocities of the Holocaust and reflect on the dangers of anti-Semitism.

In 2015, Canada and the international community marked the 70th anniversary of the liberation of the Auschwitz-Birkenau death camp. The Government of Canada commemorated this day at a special ceremony that brought together government officials, religious leaders and Holocaust survivors.

DELL Tech Support

 

Little old lady

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."

He answered, "That's okay."

"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, It would make me feel so happy."

She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."

The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.

"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.

"How come so much ... I only bought 5 items.."

The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."




Don't trust little Old Ladies!!!

Poor Planning?

 

Too Funny!

Ed was in trouble. He had forgotten his wedding anniversary and his wife was really mad. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE".

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a small box gift wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.